Chapter 7

Edited

Elias's POV

"What time's practice?" Chris asked looking for his keys. I would have answered, but my thoughts were drowning me with the worst possible situations as to why Alex trapped herself for an hour in some retro grief-relievers room. I couldn't understand how someone so sweet could have to be in therapy. I mean, she doesn't come off as destructive or anything. She's always seemed really quiet and kept to herself. I wonder what she did to get there in the first place. I didn't want to push the topic, but I was really curious.

"Dude?" Chris waved his hand in my face, "You okay?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm good." I said shaking my head. "Practice starts in a half hour," I looked down at my watch. My thumb waved over Alex's contact photo as I teased myself to call her. Asking her would require courage that I didn't possess at the moment.

"Alright, let's go then because I have to pick up Sam," he said walking out of his room. Grabbing my board, I followed behind him to his car.

"I'm going to ask Alex to come," I said, deciding to take the safer route and play 'friends' with her. Maybe being friends with her would help me solve her enigmatic brain.

Hey! We're having band practice if you want to come -E

Hi, sure! I'll see you there-Alex

I smiled in relief and waited as we pulled up to Sam's house. It was cooped up on the side of a long rags-to-riches parkway- her house being the smallest.

"Hey guys!" she beamed, hopping into the back of Chris's car.

"Hey love," Chris smiled into the mirror.

"Hi," I turned to look at her. For a few seconds we stared blankly at each other, waiting to see who'd break first.

"You guys are idiots," Chris chuckled pulling out of the drive way. Laughing, Sam playfully hit his arm.

"Did you guys invite Alex? I forgot to tell her," Sam frowned.

"I did," I grinned. Chris and Sam looked at me, devious smiles playing on there lips.

"What?" I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks, but forced it away.

"I didn't know you and Alex were getting that close," Sam teased. I already knew where this was headed.

"We're just friends Sam, plus you know Alex isn't my type," I winked into the mirror. Sam's eyebrows furrowed, but let the topic drift. Victoria was my type.

Okay, fine.

Hot girl's with bad attitudes were my type.

Everyone was already warming up as we pulled up to my house. Alex was already there too with Austin. My blood boiled for a second, but the idea of jealousy made me sick.

"Hey, guys," Chris greeted as we made our way into the garage. Lexi was busy flirting with Tyler while Austin was showing Alex his bass playing skills. I walked over to the mic, ready for sound check.

"Let's practice," I said waving everyone onto stage. Alex and Sam took their seat on the couch and watched in eagerness. "Wish You Away," I whispered to the band and waited for Lexi to start up for us. Letting the tempo run through me, I felt my blood rush. My mind clouded with all the images I didn't want to see, making me feel the song's meaning.

I could feel the sweat beading down my cheeks. Losing myself in my own world, I stared at Alex, continuously singing. Her eyes hypnotized me, leaving me in a pool of mocha and Caramel colors. I felt trapped, and I wasn't sure if I liked it but I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop staring. I know I shouldn't be, but I couldn't help it.

I was awoken again by the sound of Chris's last drumming. Blinking quickely, I looked away and smiled at how enthusiastic my band looked. This was probably the best feeling, other than the burning stare of Alex's eyes...

Alex's POV

I felt trapped in Elias's gaze. His dark brown orbs felt controlling, yet loving. I tried to look away, but he wouldn't let my gaze drop. Gasping softly for air, Chris's ending solo awoke me. I looked at Sam to see her jumping up and down like a crazy groupie. I followed her lead and applauded the band. Austin made his way to me, picked me up and spun me carefully. I laughed at his awkwardness and waited for him to set me down. I was allowed to walk again, as long as I wore my ankle brace, so it was easier to stand without crumbling to my feet.

"How'd you like it?" he asked, flipping his damp hair to the side.

"That was amazing! But when aren't you guys."

"I'm glad you liked it," Elias cooed behind me. I turned to see his face sparkling with sweat beads gliding down his forehead. His eyes were dilated from the ecstasy-like feeling that came with strumming a guitar and bleeding your heart out into a mic. If heaven existed, Elias's passion for music had to be the gateway.

"I always love hearing your band play, especially since you're a great singer," I complemented. His cheeks blazed crimson as he lowered his eyes to the floor. I could feel the heat rise, too, realizing how embarrassing that sounded out loud.

"I know right?" He chuckled, "total chick magnet." I looked up to see Austin taking quick glances at us from the mini fridge. A pang of guilt pounded my chest.

What the? Alex, you guys aren't even dating...

I shook off the overwhelming feeling and turned my attention back to Elias.

"So what are we going to do now?"He leaned against the wall awkwardly, laying his head gently against Led Zeppelin's Physical Graffiti Record. His eyes wandered around the garage before his eyes lit up.

"Want to go for a walk?" A walk wasn't what I really had in mind, but whatever. I nodded and grabbed my leather jacket. "We'll be back later," Elias said grabbing his grey hoodie. We walked out of the garage and onto the sidewalk, walking towards oblivion.

Silence blanketed the surface as we tried to figure out what to talk about.

"So..." I tried. I was horrible at starting conversations, especially when butterflies were fighting violently in my stomach.

"So... how's your poem coming along?"

"Er it's going okay... how about your song?"

"Good actually! I might be writing an original instead of doing a cover, but I'm not sure," he laughed, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.

"I bet it'll sound good," I smiled.

"Hopefully," He sighed, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Do you like trees?" He asked smirking. I look in front of me to see a tall oak, its leaves dancing with the light breeze.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, no you don't," he teased. I furrowed my eyebrows, following behind him. He began climbing when I realized I couldn't.

"Hey genius, I'm kind of broken here," I said pointing to my ankle. He face palmed for a moment, trying to figure out how to save himself.

"Well we could sit against it then," he chuckled climbing back down. I slipped down the side of the tree facing the small pond. He slid down beside me, and pulled out his cigarette box as if it were a separate limb.

"I'm taking it you still don't want one," he said shaking the box in front of me. I shook my head. I sat in silence, taking in the smell of his cologne and smoke swarming the air. I breathed it in, feeling at peace.

"You want to know what the worst way of dying is?"

He shook his cigarette box in my face. "Smoking one of these bad boys?"

"Close, but no," I chuckled.

"Then enlighten me, Miss Santos." He rolled the cigarette between his thumb and index finger before filling in the small gap between his lips like the cigarette was the last puzzle piece to make him whole.

"I think the worst way to die is having to look back at your life and realize you didn't try everything once."

"So, let's commit murder," Elias teased. "Let's rob banks, let's travel the world and meet strangers who speak languages we never heard. Let's be reckless and fall in love." I could hear the truthfulness in his voice. He wanted nothing more than to touch the sky like I did.

"I'll remember to add all those to my bucket list," I said. I grabbed the box from his hands and pulled out a pen. I wrote across the box Alex-1 and pulled out a cigarette. Before I could push it between my lips, Elias placed his hand over mine. His touch sent electric shocks through my veins.

"You know, you don't have to do this," he said, concern laced in his voice. I pulled my hand from his and left a sinister smile warp my lips.

"Like I said, try everything once and regret nothing." I pushed the rolled up nicotine between my chapped lips and grabbed Elias's lighter. I hovered one hand over the cig while I lit it with the over the way I saw James Dean do it in his movies. I breathed in deep, feeling the smoke fill my lungs for the first time. It was like dying all over again. I felt like I was drowning, but as soon as the smoke escaped from my lips and morphed into small white clouds, everything in me steadied. My heart continued its pitter-patter and my body felt like a feather.

Elias watched me with curious eyes, waiting for something bad to happen. But nothing did. We both stared out into the pond, and watched the sun play with the surface as it changed from yellow to a blazing orange. Elias tossed his cigarette butt into the pond, and propped himself on one hand to look at me.

"Can you promise me something?" I tossed my cigarette into the pond before turning to look at him. His eyes were filled with the kind of worry I only saw in my mother's.

"Sure."

"Make sure this was your last," he said. "You can only have so many addictions in the world and it would suck for you to waste one on something that will kill you in the long run." He was right. I already had enough addictions to be in therapy. Adding one more would cause my brain to scatter. Again.

"Okay." He shoved his cigarette box deep into his sweatshirt as if pushing it away would erase the sin I committed.

I cleared my throat and attempted to change the subject.

"So is Lexi and Tyler a thing or not?" I was never good at figuring these things out. It would be nice if they were, they were cute together.

"I don't think so, he doesn't come to the house often," Elias shrugged.

"Can I ask you something?" It was his turn to change the subject.

"Go ahead."

"Are you and Austin going out?" He didn't even hesitate. The blood began to drain from my head and the sun shined brighter. What was with the question? We weren't a couple no, but it didn't mean I didn't like him.

"No?" I replied confused. He sat there caught in a daze. "But I do like him... I think," I admitted.

"Oh," was all that escaped his thoughts, but his eyes had so much more to tell. Just as I was about to read them, they disappeared. It was replaced with glinting eyes and a bright smile."That's cool, I bet he likes you too," he winked at me. I laughed nervously, not expecting that to be his reaction.

Elias's POV

I did not see that coming. Why would she like him?

He's so... really Elias? You're getting worked up over nothing! Especially because you don't like her, right? ...RIGHT?

"Are you okay?" Alex asked browsing my face. Her eyes shot bullets of morphine through me as she searched my expression for answers. But I didn't even know how I felt, so how could I put together a simple explanation for her?

"Yeah, uh we should go back to everyone," I suggested. I stood up, and lent a hand for her to take. Taking her hand in mine, I lifted her to her feet making sure her ankle landed safely on the ground. Slowly, we walked back to the garage to see everyone eating Taco Bell.

"Hey! Why didn't you save us any?" I complained. They knew I loved Taco Bell...

"Sorry, I thought you guys were going out to eat or something," Austin exasperated. I smirked to myself realizing his jealousy. It's quite fun to make that curly-haired-blonde jealous.

"It's okay, I wasn't that hungry anyways," Alex smiled, taking a seat next to Sam. I walked over to Austin, leaning against the wall beside him.

"Where did you guys go?"

Smirking, I said, "Took her to the pond."

"Don't you take all your girlfriends there?" he questioned seeming even more exasperated. It's true. That was my spot. For as long as I can remember, I've taken a lot of girls there, but I wasn't about to make Alex a casualty in my hormonal battle between myself and biology.

"Yes?" I didn't see the problem. I didn't see Alex as any of those girls nor did I treat her in such a way.

"That's pretty low of you to take Alex there," he replied shaking his head. I looked up to see Alex laughing, talking with Chris and Sam. Guilt made its way to my conscious. She was more than all those girls. She had to know that by now. Without letting me defend myself, Austin walked away and took Alex's hand in his. He tugged her gently to her feet and pulled her away from the garage towards his car.

Warm blood began to burn as it coarsed rigorously through my veins. He grabbed her as if he owned her. He took her as if she was his to keep. But something in me triggered when his hand touched her. It made my stomach churn and my fist turn to stone. Turning away from the horrifying situation, I stormed out of the garage and into the safety of my room. I looked through my cassette stash and stuffed one into the deck, and waited for music to drown out the loud screams in my head.

I wasn't sure what to feel. I felt bad and stupid for taking her there and Austin was right. It was wrong of me to do that, especially because she means more to me than that. But I still don't know what to do with Victoria. I love her despite my iron exterior and her constant neediness. I still love her.

"What the hell J?" Lexi asked furiously, her voice ruining the peaceful sound of The Growlers.

"Get out."

"No, why did you just leave?" She said, closing the door and taking a seat next to me on the bed. Even though our mother wasn't around often, Lexi and I took care of each other no matter how many times we said we didn't need it.

"I just got mad at Austin... he makes me feel like I'm making douchey decisions when it comes to Alex," I sighed, trying to contain my anger.

"When do you ever listen to Austin?" She laughed. I glared at her, but realized she was right. When do I ever listen to him, let alone anyone?

"I know, but still. I don't want Alex to think I'm a jerk," I admitted.

"Be yourself. There's nothing better than that," she winked. I smiled to myself.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, bro," she chuckled leaving my room. So be myself. That shouldn't be so hard, right?