CHAPTER 35

A week had passed, but their relationship still felt like it was teetering on the edge of a cliff. Conversations had become awkward, none of the intimacy they once had even though they still shared the same bed. Every day felt like a routine, just going through the motions with nothing but polite exchanges. Engfa also no longer came home late, always on time, always there. If she had the chance, she would make breakfast for the two of them but they ate in silence.

Engfa sat at her desk at her work space in their home, her eyes glued to her laptop screen. This had become her nightly routine, retreating to her work as a way to escape the unspoken tension that now hung between her and Charlotte. She leaned back in her chair for a moment, staring at the ceiling, her mind still racing.

She then closed her eyes and sighed deeply, the pressure increasing. Everything became too complicated when she thought back to her relationship with Charlotte, especially the incident at Charlotte's office last week. Panic still enveloped her when she remembered the situation where Charlotte suddenly got angry at her, almost tried to attack her by throwing things and the incident immediately made her remember Mew's attack at her office a few months ago.

Finally, she didn't realize she had fallen asleep at her desk until she felt a gentle hand on her arm, shaking her awake.

" Wake up. Go to bed "

Charlotte's voice came softly from beside her. Engfa squinted, trying to focus, looking up at Charlotte standing next to her desk. She checked the time at 1 AM. She leaned back in her chair, exhausted.

Charlotte stood there, her eyes filled with hope. Engfa blinked, hesitating for a moment before slowly reaching out, wrapping her fingers around Charlotte's hand and bringing it to her cheek.

" Char...."

There was no answer. Charlotte didn't back down but the silence was deafening. The tension between them was thick, unyielding.

Engfa's breathing was ragged as she whispered

" I miss you "

" I'm tired Engfa, I want to sleep. You should too "

Charlotte pulled her hand away slowly but Engfa held on, her grip tight but pleading

" Please, don't go "

Engfa whispered, her desperation pouring into the quiet room. Charlotte sighed deeply, her patience wearing thin. Engfa brought Charlotte's hand to her cheek again, her voice breaking

" I'm sorry for what happened. I don't know how to fix it anymore "

For a moment, Charlotte's face softened but her resolve stayed. She couldn't just let Engfa off the hook.

" It's not about being enough Engfa. It's about honesty "

Her voice cracked a little as she continued.

" I know you tried, I saw that but do you know how much you hurt me ? What you're doing to me now is the same as what Mew did to me before "

Engfa released her grip and stood up, closing the gap between them until they were eye to eye, her voice trembling but firm.

" I've been honest with you, Char. And why do you want to equated my behavior to Mew ? "

Engfa asked, feeling a bit hurt when the woman she considered her lover equated her behavior to her ex-fiancé.

" If you were me, what would you think ? Lately you've been coming home late, your work is more important than mine to the point that you don't have time to be with me and the thing I can't accept the most is, why do you still want to go back to your house when you're living with me here, Engfa ! "

Engfa took a deep breath, her eyes not leaving Charlotte's

" Babe, I already explained, I'm coming back late because the site visit ended late. Besides, this project is very important for my company, we've been dreaming of this project for a long time, so since this opportunity has come, of course I want to get it "

" After all, I stopped by my house just to rest for a while. From morning until evening I was at the site, my body was very tired. Why is this so hard for you to understand ? "

Charlotte laughed softly, still can't accept the excuse and said

" I don't know Engfa, I think if you don't want to stay with me, you can get out of this house. I don't want to force you to stay with me "

Engfa was shocked by what Charlotte said. She had never thought of leaving the house. She really liked living with her. Besides, it wouldn't wrong if she stopped by her house for a while. It was her house anyway !

" Oh my god Charlotte, what are you talking about ? Now you want to kick me out ? Is it my fault for stopping by my house to rest ? Why do you still want to argue about everything ? "

" First you equated me with Mew and now you're kicking me out of this house, so this is what I get after I did everything for you, huh ? "

Engfa said, her tone sounding disappointed.

" Okay, if that's what you want, I'll get out of this house "

Engfa then grabbed her suitcase and started throwing her clothes. Charlotte panicked when she saw Engfa start packing all her clothes into the suitcase.

" What are you doing ?! "

She demanded, rushing towards Engfa but Engfa didn't answer

" Engfa ! "

Engfa was still silent, putting her clothes into the suitcase in a hurry.

" Engfa ! Hey Engfa ! "

Charlotte screamed, her voice rising in desperation but Engfa still didn't look at her at all. Engfa grabbed the suitcase and picked it up, moving towards the door.

" Engfa, what's wrong with you huh ?! Now you're going to leave me again ? What are you trying to do ? "

Engfa took a deep breath to steady herself

" Charlotte, can I ask you something ? "

Engfa's tone was calm but uncertainty filled her heart. Charlotte nodded slowly, her eyes fixed on Engfa as Engfa stepped closer

" Do you really intend to kick me out of this house ? "

Charlotte's eyes widened, caught by Engfa's openness

" No......"

Charlotte said

" So why do you say that ? And is it true that what I did to you is the same as what Mew did to you ? Please be honest, Charlotte, I want to hear it all from your mouth "

Engfa asked again

Charlotte looked away, swallowing hard. Tension coiled in the air between them. After a while, she said

" Why can't I just say that ? Everything you did was wrong. Was it wrong for me to reprimand you for your mistakes ?! Besides, I don't want what happened between Mew and me to happen again when I'm with you. That's it ! "

Disappointment welled up in Engfa, she rubbed the back of her neck, trying to find the right words

" But the problem is I already apologized, right ? I've corrected all my mistakes but why do you still want to drag this out ? "

Engfa pressed, trying to defend what she could. Charlotte didn't answer, just stared at her

" I've explained everything Char ! but why do you still want to keep punishing me ? Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness huh ? tell me what else you want ?! "

" I just want it all to be over ! "

Charlotte replied, her voice barely above a whisper

" You want us to be over again ? "

Engfa asked, her tone cold. Charlotte's eyes widened in shock

" No, not us ! but this situation now. What the hell are you thinking "

" Then you're the one who should stop all this, not me ! I've surrendered everything for you Char. What else do you want me to do when I've already tried to fix my mistakes, what else is not enough ? I just want you to at least be able to understand my situation too, why is it so hard for you to understand it ? "

Disappointment poured out from Engfa as she looked at Charlotte deeply.

Charlotte suddenly realized she was overreacting. She should have spoken nicely to Engfa but due to the trauma she experienced when she was with Mew before, she had overreacted towards her lover. She wrapped her arms around Engfa tightly, her fingers gently combing Engfa's hair and she murmured into the crook of Engfa's neck.

" Please....please don't go... I'm sorry. I'm really sorry "

" I shouldn't have acted like this, I'm sorry Engfa "

Engfa pulled back slightly, just enough to see Charlotte's face.

" Promise me that you won't do this again ? Promise me that you'll never equate me to Mew again, promise ? "

Charlotte nodded slowly

" I promise, I'm sorry for equating you to him "

Without another word, Engfa stepped closer, letting the heat between them begin to build before she met Charlotte's lips in a slow and deliberate kiss. Charlotte didn't react right away, her hesitation was reciprocated until Engfa wrapped her arms around the back of her neck, pulling her gently, deepening the connection.

Charlotte's breath hitched as her fingers found their way to Engfa's waist and Engfa felt her desire burning as Charlotte began to respond. Their lips moved together in a teasing rhythm.

Engfa's tongue coating Charlotte's to join in a dance of heat and longing. She trapped her fingers down the nape of Charlotte's neck, feeling Charlotte's shudder under her touch. The kiss intensified, their breath mingling as a moan slipped from Charlotte. Engfa's tongue keep explored Charlotte's mouth with purpose, each movement skillfully drawing out her desire.

Charlotte gasped sharply and Engfa felt her chest tremble as Charlotte's hands slid harder around her waist, pulling her closer. But Engfa suddenly broke the kiss, letting the air between them settle. She pulled her hand away from Charlotte's neck and then looked at Charlotte deeply.

" Don't do this again. I don't want to lose you again "

Charlotte looked at her, tears filling her eyes.

" Not again. I promise. I love you so much Engfa Waraha "

Charlotte said and hugged Engfa tightly again.

" I love you more Charlotte Austin "