Chapter-33

Here's the awaited...🌻

"You are lying." Zoya told him as she looked at him with surity in her eyes. Aditya looked at her with a shocked expression. She stood up from the floor making him also stand up.

"You can't love me...you are lying..." Aditya's world came crashing down as she told the truth herself. Hearing it from her just made it million times more painful for him. He closed his eyes shut trying to block her words.

"How can you love someone else when you don't love yourself." He opened his eyes in a jerk as her words echoed around him. She took his hand and dragged him to his bedroom which was the only room on the first floor.

She dragged him inside holding his hand as he trailed behind her, still dazed. She made him stand in front of the mirror. He kept looking at her with confusion and shock. Her hand reached his chin and made him look at himself in the mirror.

"Look at you...What have you done to yourself... Is this the same Aditya that told me to leave my past behind and move forward? Is it the same you? Look at the dark circles under your eyes, look at your...eyes... where is that liveliness which used to light up everyone's mood... Where is Mr.Toothy grin? Where is that Aditya? Huh? Where is that Aditya whom I met three years ago?... You told me to return the same old me to my parents but when will you return the same old you to yours...?" He looked at her through the mirror.

"You were the one who gave birth to this Zoya...the one standing with you...Do you remember how I was, some time back? You told me that I can't move forward without forgiving then...when will you forgive yourself...and that too for something that you never did? And, these marks... These suicidal attempts? Do you think your mother will like it seeing you in this state?" Aditya looked at her when realization struck him.

What was I thinking? He thought to himself.

"Do you think that she will be proud of yourself for just existing ? You know what, No! She would never want that! She wouldn't have even want that in her worst dream... She must've just wanted you to be happy and what are you doing? The exact opposite. You are drowning in your ocean of miseries, searching for a helping hand.

If only you knew, that the only hand you can trust is the one at the end of your own arm. Remember that? You only made me understand that, right? It's in your hands whether to continue living like this or make your mother proud of you...make her happy wherever she is... You told me that every bad thought, every nightmare is a game played by our mind...Will you let your mind win over yourself?" She cupped his face with hands and made him face her.

"I don't want the Aditya that I first met to fade away...I don't want us to fade away..." She said closing her eyes trying to control her tears.

"Us?" He asked confused.

"I love you too, idiot!" She said as she joined their foreheads and let out a small chuckle through her tears. His eyes widened on listening to her confession. Happiness danced in his eyes and his lips couldn't stop smiling.

She loves him too...?

His hands wrapped around her waist and hugged her. He finally felt some peace as he felt her warmth around her. They both closed their eyes just absorbing the moment. Her hands wrapped around his neck as her face hid in his shoulder.

She detached their frames and said,"Will you be the same Aditya that I first met?"

"I-I..."

"I will wait for you..."

"Zo-"

"I don't want this chance to go out of my hands...Call me selfish...but yes, I am... I don't know what is written in our destiny but I will be waiting for you, forever... Whenever my house bell rings, I will hope that it's you... whenever my phone will make a sound, I will hope that it's because of you...take as much time as you want but bring back the old Aditya whom I fell in love with... Not this one...this one has to go... Will you promise me?" He looked into her eyes and she saw the confusion in his.

"I know you can't promise right now but just say that you'll try...?"

"I will..."

"That's enough for me..." She smiled at him and started going out of the room.

"Don't waste your time on me, Zoya..." He said not looking at her.

"I'm not..." She said calmly as she saw the ring box kept on the nightstand.

"Will see you soon..." She said moving out of his house before her emotions become so much for her to handle.

•••

Aisa kyun lage hai

The white net curtains flew in the air by the wind and caressed Aditya's frame as he stood in front of the mirror. His hand reached up and traced the darkness under his eyes.

Jaise kuch adhoora

He looked into his empty eyes as tears started to pool in them. He picked up a photoframe from the nearby table and looked at it. A five year old boy and a couple stared back at him. He looked at the eyes of the small boy and then at his.

"Where is that liveliness which used to light up everyone's mood?"

Vo chaand hai mukammal

He looked out of the window at the stars feeling as if he looked at his mother. The clouds thundered out loud making a white line divide the whole sky.

Kyu na lagta poora

He went out into his balcony as drops met his tender skin. He spread out his hands and looked up in the sky as the light drizzling slowly started getting denser.

Aankhon ki seepi mein

He felt his clothes getting heavy as water surrounded him. He laid down on the marble floor, his arms spread wide and eyes closed. He felt the rain puddle around him. For some time, he just laid there. Just him feeling the rain and forgetting about every pain in his life. He just wanted to feel nothing and the rain helped.

Khwabon ke moti hain

He opened his eyes with difficulty as he watched the rain drops coming straight down to him. He closed his eyes again, trying to absorb this feeling of not feeling anything again.

Moti taraste hain pyaar ke liye

But, soon his warm tears started mixing with the rain drops and he realised that he was crying. He stood up from the floor and headed inside.

After having a warm shower, he looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes traced the scars that lined up his body.

"How can you love someone else when you don't love yourself."

He felt her words piercing his mind, penetrating through it.

"Do you think your mother will like seeing you in this state?"

He looked down away from the mirror trying to control his tears. He opened a drawer and took out a small tube from it. He squeezed the tube and a white paste came out. He applied the cream on all the scars and wore his t-shirt carefully.

.

.

.

After few days

The birds chirped in the morning and sun slowly rose up. Aditya stretched his hands up and slowly bend down touching the floor. He inhaled the morning air deeply and then exhaled slowly.

Yoga calms one's mind and help them think more rationally. If anyone would ask Aditya how to feel calm and at peace, he would surely suggest doing Yoga in the morning and that's what he advised himself today. He wanted to start a new day with a refreshing feeling and a different set of emotions.

He thought a lot about Zoya's words and they have slowly started making sense to him. She is right. He should not pay attention to what others say and try to live a peaceful life. He didn't block the negative thoughts as he was sure that they will come back again to haunt him. Instead, he fought them. He questioned to himself about them rationally and got the answer that all the while his mind was playing a game with him.

He watered the plants as slow music played in the background making him feel relaxed. He watered the yellow rose plant and slowly caressed the small yellow bud that was soon going to blossom into a flower. The mere touch making him remember Zoya and her bright smile.

He came inside and started preparing breakfast for himself. In the past few days he has learnt to not skip breakfast. He gave his time to learning some new recipes rather than doing nothing and let his mind win over himself. He placed the boiled oats in the bowl and pour chocolate syrup and peanut butter on it. He decorated the bowl with strawberries and banana. He clicked a picture of it and kept his phone back inside. He has been clicking pictures just for his record and now he has started liking this new habit.

He ate his breakfast while Shadow also had his. Having finished the breakfast, they both played with each other and he snuggled into him as they watched some movies. He picked up the novel that was resting on the nightstand and read some bit of it before going to sleep.

He liked this new lifestyle of his but, something still felt missing. He missed Zoya. They haven't talked since that day. She was giving him space and time. She would sometimes send some quotes and he would just react to them with an emoticon. However, from some days they have stopped too.

He picked up his phone and unlocked it, debating within himself whether to message or not.

Is she still waiting for me? He asked himself.

" I don't know what is written in our destiny but I will be waiting for you, forever..."

Maybe, she is still waiting for me... He said to himself.

Am I ready to meet her, to face her, will she like me now? He asked himself.

He opened Zoya's contact and started typing a message.

"Can we meet at the beach, tomorrow?" He clicked sent and pressed the power button of his phone. The phone instantly made a sound indicating a new message. He opened the message hastily that read, "Ok...sure"

"Let's meet at 6 in the evening then..." He typed.

"Ok, done."

He closed his mobile and kept it on the bed facing down. He opened the drawer of his nightstand and took out the blue box again. Grabbing it in his hand, he brought it closer to his heart.

"I will try to give you your forever, Zoya because I love you!"

"I love you too, idiot!" Her voice echoed in his mind. He couldn't stop himself from grinning and eventually he hid his face in the pillow trying to stop his smile which wasn't going anywhere.

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