Enough

The next morning, Chase awoke earlier than me for a change, leaving me to wake up to an empty bed. I fell asleep hoping I would feel better today but was sadly disappointed. As soon as my eyes were open I felt the weight of the last few days bare down on me once more. I couldn't wait for all of this to be over. I haven't felt a moment of peace since Will texted me that picture of Robin. Once this was all over and Chase started acting like himself again I could go back to normal.

I sighed, forcing myself to get out of bed and get dressed. I put on a pair of grey yoga pants and a black sweater before I brushed my teeth, then my hair and gave my face a quick wash and made my way downstairs. Chase was standing at the stove with a spatula in his hands. It smelled like bacon and cinnamon, the scent making my stomach growl. He had on navy blue trackpants and a faded T-shirt. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around him.

"Morning,". I sighed. Although he acted like he didn't want to be near me last night he let me do this so I took it as a good sign. I was still berating myself for my ridiculous crying last night. I was hurting my own feelings, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

"Morning, " He placed one of his hands over my arm gently before returning it to the pan. I peeked around him to see he was making a mountain of French toast. When he finished flipping, I set my hands on his hips to turn him towards me so I could look up at him. I was trying to set my bad mood aside, but it was hard. The bags under his eyes matched mine, meaning he had slept just as well as I did. I lost count of how many times I woke up meaning it was too many. I leaned forward and kissed him gently.

"You look tired, ". I stated, reaching up to touch his cheek.

"So do you,", He gave a half smile, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

"No. A real one,". I demanded. He snorted and leaned in for a quick peck but I wrapped my arms around his neck to keep him there. We went from almost-sex to barely a kiss and I was starting to feel it. My emotions were all over the place and although I wasn't looking for anything sexual, it would be nice to have some kind of intimacy. I needed it. Maybe if I could take the edge off one cause of the tension I could start to feel normal.

Which apparently wasn't happening either. He gave me about three seconds before he tried to pull away. Like a child I whined to cover my hurt feelings, pulling on him. His eyes met mine and I saw irritation. He was tensed, his jaw clenched. He dropped his eyes between us and a fresh wave of rejection washed through me as my face started heating up. I let go immediately, turning away before he could see. Maybe I wasn't just hurting my own feelings after all. I felt pretty correct right now, and it hurt.

Instead of sitting at the island to hang out with him I went and sat in the living room, flopping down on the couch. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head but I refused to look at him. I could tell the tips of my ears were red, whuch was giving me away due to the ponytail in my hair, but he couldn't see the tears welling. I stared at the screen though none of what was being said absorbing into my brain. I just needed something else to focus my eyes on so they would stop. I was worried about over staying my welcome after the first night, and apparently we reached that point.

I heard several sets of footsteps coming down the stairs, meaning at least two of our room mates were awake.

"Just in time, breakfast is ready,". I heard Chase say

I rose to my feet, swiping discreetly at my eyes before anyone noticed me and trudged into the kitchen behind Callum, Miles, and Olivia who had started loading their plates. O fell into line behind them, suddenly not feeling very hungry, but not wanting to be a baby about it. I grabbed two pieces of French toast and two strips of bacon then walked past the available island seat next to Chase down to the end of the island. Callum took the seat behind him and Olivia next to him, neither of them picking up on the tension between us. Chase's gaze flickered down to me then back to his plate.

"So what's up for the day?" Miles stood on the other side of the island, shovelling his mountain of food into his mouth.

Olivia shrugged, flicking her hair over her shoulder "No idea, got plans?"

He shook his head in response. "Willow?"

I already made my decision ten minutes ago. "I think I'll go back home today,". I said easily, focusing way too much on cutting up my food. There was a moment of silence so I just kept on pretending that I wasn't being petty. "I have some assignments to get caught up on, business mail to deal with,". I could feel their eyes on me, shifting between Chase and I.

"You could just do that here,". He was staring down at his plate with his mouth half full trying not to make it obvious that there was a problem.

I shrugged. "I have school tomorrow and will need my makeup anyway. I didn't bring any of it with me,".

" hm,". He responded around a mouthful of food.

Olivia had caught on and was now side eyeing me. "Yeah I should probably get back home at some point too. It's been a few days and Shitface has been served so I doubt he's going to do anything,".

"You still want to check out the mall today first?" Callum asked, turning to her.

"Yeah, maybe,". I met her eyes briefly before returning them to my plate.

We worked our way through breakfast, making small talk and plans for the day once Cass and Owen came downstairs. Olivia and Callum were going shopping, Cass and Owen were going on a trail walk, leaving Chase and I here. Soon to be just Chase. If he didn't want to be around me I'd make it easier on him and just leave on my own.

Once we were done, I rinsed my plate and set it in the dishwasher then went upstairs to pack while they got ready to go. I wasn't exactly an organized person, which left all of my belongings all over the place. I tried to shrug off my frustrations but I couldn't. I wasn't just hurt now. I was angry. The longer I spent hunting down my things, the worse I felt. I wanted Chase but I needed to be alone. Apparently he needed to be alone too, though it only took a few minutes before Chase slipped inside the room.

I ignored his presence, folding up my clothes so they would fit back in my duffel bag.

"Hey,"

"Hey," I replied, refusing to look at him.

"You're packing,". He stated quietly.

"I am. I told you, I'm going home,". My voice was ice cold

I ignored the heat under my skin, and continued folding. He sighed and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. I wanted to relax into him and lay my head on his chest and just talk, but he didn't feel like himself right now. I couldn't act like that while he was acting like this. Instead I placed one of my hands over his the same way he did to me this morning.

"You can stay. If you want to,". I almost shivered at the touch of his breath ghosting across my neck.

"No, I can't,". I cursed myself mentally at the crack in my voice

"Why not?" He grabbed my hips, turning me to face him, again mirroring what happened this morning. This time instead of making eye contact I was the one who dropped my head, resting my forehead on his chest with my hands holding his waist while his circled my shoulders. Did I really have to spell this out for him? He was practically kicking me out.

"I don't want to stay,".  The words were getting caught in my throat. I made a move to step away, but he didn't move his hands.

"what's going on?" he asked with a sigh.

"Nothing. I'm fine,". I tried to sound lighter, giving him a shrug. If he wanted to act like his treatment of me was no big deal than so would I.

This time I didn't give him the option to pry. I removed one of his hands from my waist and turned around. I stuffed the last of my clothes inside my duffel bag then crossed the room to grab all of my electronics, trying to think about anything else. I tried to be normal about it, but the fact that he even had to ask me that was sad and infuriating all at once. I tossed my second bag on the bed then grabbed my hairbrush and tooth brush from the bathroom. Chase was standing in front of my bags with his arms crossed. His dark eyes were glued to my face, making it the longest he has been bothered to look at me in two days. I didn't meet his gaze

"Is this because I snapped at you yesterday?"

"No? You told me to stop and I should have listened. Now would you get out of the way?". Lie. I reached around him, stuffing the items into the front packet of my duffel bag "No big deal,".

"Then what is your deal?" He asked, staring me down. At least he wasn't angry this time. Though the way he asked still had me on edge. I could feel him studying me, like he did the day we met. Like I was some kind of project.

I slung my back pack over my shoulders. "I don't have one,".

"You haven't looked at me since breakfast, you took off last night, and you've barely said anything to me since then,". I clenched my jaw and reached for my duffel bag. He beat me to it, holding it back out of my immediate reach. "Why won't you just fucking talk to me?" Now he was angry again. as if he had the right

"Why won't you fucking touch me?" I finally snapped, looking him in the eye before snatching my bag from him and whirled around towards the door. I really didn't want to hear the answer to my question because the damage was done.

"Willow,". His hand landed on my arm but I didn't stop. I could feel the anger rising higher but I didn't want to deal with it. "If this is about last night I-"

"It's not because you told me to piss off! Jesus Christ Chase I'm not a fucking doll, regardless of how fragile you think I am!" I felt more tears coming and it only made me angrier. I didn't want to cry over anyone or anything anymore, but he was not giving up.

He stepped in front of me, blocking my path to the door. "What's that supposed to mean? Willow why are you so pissed at me? I'm not-"

"You won't tell me about your games anymore, you won't kiss me, you won't touch me unless you're sleeping, you won't talk to me, you can't even fucking look at me since Friday morning!" If He wanted an answer that bad he could have it. "you made it clear that I have too much bullshit going on in my life for you to be around. You don't want me around so I'm leaving,". the tears that were welling began to spill and  Iwiped at them furiously while he stared at me in bewilderment.

"What the hell? I haven't said anything to you about this shit going on, I never said you were too much or that I didn't want you?" His brows were furrowed, his eyes growing impossibly darker with every second that passed.

"You did! You were so great Thursday night playing the supportive boyfriend because you felt bad for me; But now you can't even stand to fucking look at me! The last person to touch me with anything but pity and obligation was Will! Do you have any idea how that feels? I'm sorry he touched me okay? I'm sorry he touched what's yours and he brought you into this, and I'm sorry I'm such a problem! You want to know why I'm leaving? I'm letting you off the hook! Go find what you're looking for because clearly I am not it."

The tears doubled on their own as I yelled. I hated that I allowed another man to make me feel so humiliated and hurt yet again. I didn't want to have this conversation right now, but he was not taking no for an answer. How could he be so blind? He really couldn't see how him blowing me off would affect me? He looked stunned for the moment so I took the opportunity. I stormed past him, tears still spilling freely. This wasn't how I wanted to have this conversation but there was no taking it back now.

I heard his foot steps in the hall by the time I got to the stairs but I was done talking.

"You're what? Willow would you just listen for a minute? I wasn't trying to hurt you,". He followed me down the stairs, but I had already made it to the end of the front hall. I opened the door, looking back at him once more with as much disdain as I could muster.

"Well you did,". With that I yanked the door shut in his face and marched out to my car. There would be a lot more ice cream in my near future, and a lot less Chase. The thought broke my heart all over again. I'd felt unwanted before, but this time it was different.