Chapter 40

3rd person pov:

Gemini while deep in grief of losing the love of his life found an envelope addressed to him near Fourth's bed.There was a letter inside which he wasn't prepared for...

My Dearest Gemini,

I don't know how to begin, because no words seem adequate to explain the depth of what I feel. But I owe you this—at least, a part of me does. I owe you the honesty I never had the courage to say out loud, the things I've kept locked away in my heart, too afraid to burden you with them. But time, as cruel as it can be, is running out, and there's no more time to hide.

From the very first moment you stepped into my life, you made my heart tremble. It was something so subtle, yet so undeniable—like a quiet storm brewing deep inside me. Your presence brought a sense of calm I didn't know I needed, and a warmth that made me feel safe, even in the most fragile parts of myself. I never thought someone could make me feel this way. I never imagined I could feel this much. It was the little things you did that stayed with me—the way you'd look at me with such care in your eyes, the soft words you'd speak when you thought I wasn't paying attention, the way you'd hold my hand and squeeze it like you knew exactly what I needed, even when I didn't.

You brought me joy, Gemini. A kind of joy I hadn't allowed myself to feel for so long. Your presence was like sunlight on a winter morning, warming my heart in places I thought had long gone cold. I've cherished every moment we spent together, even the quiet ones—sitting side by side, sharing nothing but the comfort of being close. Every second with you felt like a gift, and I never took it for granted.

I've been grateful for this time we've shared in Hua Hin, even if it was only a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. Being with you, away from the world, where we could just be—that's been the most beautiful part of this life. It's everything I never thought I'd have, and I want you to know that in the little time I had, you gave me more than I could have ever hoped for. You gave me love, and with it, you gave me peace. And for that, I am thankful, more than words could ever express.

But now, as the time I have left slips away from me, I realize there is something I've never told you, something I've kept buried deep within me because I didn't want to hurt you. I loved you. I've loved you for so long, even before I fully understood what it meant. I never had the courage to tell you, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't bear the thought of causing you even more sadness. You've already given so much of yourself to me, and I didn't want my feelings to become another burden for you to carry.

There were days when I wished I could have been brave enough to say the words, but the truth is, I was afraid. Afraid of losing you, afraid that my feelings would only add to the weight you already carried. So I stayed quiet, even though my heart was shouting in ways I couldn't express. I'm sorry for that. But know this—everything I ever did for you, every smile, every touch, every moment we shared, was me loving you.

You were everything I ever wanted, Gemini. I just couldn't say it. Not until now, when it's too late to change anything. I want you to remember this, always: You made my heart feel alive in a way it never had before. And I will carry that with me, even when I am gone. You are my greatest joy, my greatest love, and my greatest regret—all wrapped up in one.

Please don't cry for me, Gemini. I know it's selfish, but I want you to live. Live for the both of us. You deserve so much more than I could ever give you. Don't let my absence take away the light you have inside you. And if you find someone who can love you the way I couldn't, someone who can give you everything I couldn't, then I will be at peace, knowing you will have what you deserve.

Thank you, Gemini, for everything. For giving me these last days filled with love, for being my companion, my friend, and for making my heart feel things I never thought I could feel. I will always love you. Always.

Yours, in every way I can be,

Fourth