21

"Baby." she starts but I put my hand up telling her to stop. Instead she grabs both my hands and starts speaking again.

"Please my Andy. Listen. I'm so so fucking sorry about what happened. I was only doing it to protect you." she starts sobbing and hyperventilating and it all makes sense now. Why she did that.

"It was her wasn't it? The partner who had to give him the go ahead. He mentioned something like that. It was that bitch right?" I asked, angry at her. At the situation.

She nods, now in the midst of a panic attack.

I gently move her into my arms and cradle her in my lap, as painful as it was.

"Ssssh my love. I forgive you. Thank you for trying to protect me." I coo in her ear attempting to her rid if the panic attack.

Eventually her breathing evens out and she's back to her normal self.

She looks up at me and looks so guilty that it hurts my soul.

"No Andy. I almost slept with her and she still took you. I couldn't protect you. That's all I want to do. Protect you and our family."

She's sobbing again but not as bad as earlier.

"I get it my love. Can we not talk about it please? I just want to be here, with you. In this moment. I need you to hold me because when you hold me I know I'm safe."

I give a weak smile, emotionally and physically exhausted and she nods before lying down and pulling me, ever so gently, in her arms. We stayed in silence for a long time. Almost half an hour. Before I finally decided to break the comfortable silence.

"You needed to talk to me. That's what you told the doctor. Just tell me my love. Please?"

I want to know. I don't care how bad it is because I know that I'll get through it as long as she's with me.

"You had a few fractured bones. Also alot if puncture wounds and surface cuts. Nothing life threatening there. But you also had internal bleeding in your chest. You had surgery for that. That's where the scar came from and you're healthy now. And safe."

That's all that matters. Healthy and safe.

"Can you leave me alone please? I want to be alone. Please? I need to process this by myself." I asked her and she moved up off the bed, kissed my forhead and left.

I layed in the bed and cried. I cried until I couldn't and then I just stared at nothing while reliving everything I could. Every cut. Every time he violated me.

I clutched my chest, forgetting about the massive scar there.

I groaned in pain and had the shock of my life when I saw blood soaking through the gown.

I pressed the call button on my remote repeatedly until a nurse came through.

When she saw me I saw a look of pity go through her chocolate eyes before she walked over and changed my dressing.

"Honey we'll need the Doctor to come take a look okay?" she reassuringly rubbed my back and I just nodded.

I felt myself start drifting off into a deep sleep I knew I needed. Something felt off in me but I ignored it as I welcomed the abyss of darkness waiting to consume me.

~~~~<>~~~~<>~~~~<>~~~~<>~~~~<>~~~~<>~~~~

I awoke to find my room still empty but only this time there was a note as well as my phone placed on my table.

I picked up the note first, recognizing my wife's eloquent handwriting on it,

Had to go into work today. I'll go straight home after. If you need me, call me. The kids want to see you. They miss you. We all do. I love you baby. And I'll be waiting for you when you don't want to be alone anymore.

I choked down a sob realizing just how much I love her. But as much as I love and need her next to me right now, I also need a little more time to myself to process everything.

I stared at the emptiness of the white ceiling thinking about everything I went through. My entire life has just been a shit show and I absolutely hate that. I hate that I have no control over what happened to me.

I was disturbed from the wheels in my head turning as I thought everything over by a younger nurse who looked like she was fresh out of college.

"Mrs Chase. I'm Annie and I'm a student nurse that's part of your team. Uhm nurse Alice sent me in to check if you need anything?"

I smiled at the nervous young lady standing at the door. Alice was one of the senior nurses on staff. Jessica made sure I had the best team of doctors.

"Don't be nervous Annie. You got this okay? You're gonna be amazing at your job. Your first day?" I asked in as jovial a tone as ever.

She nodded slightly and blushed looking down.

"Well goodluck. Can you please tell Nurse Alice that I would like to speak to a psychiatrist as soon as possible please?"

She nodded and scurried out of the room while I shifted up the bed to sit up.

Not even 2 minutes later and Alice came walking in. She was a beautiful middle aged African-American lady who basically ran the nurses on my floor.

She was a cook in a hotel living with 3 kids and feeding them alone on top of going to school to become a nurse.

She's basically a super mom.

"What's this I hear of a psychiatrist?" she asked standing at the foot of my bed with her arms crossed.

"I want to talk about what happened. Get the proper help I need. Move on and start a career of my own." I said smiling at her. That was my plan.

Get the help I needed and go into a career like being a trauma doctor to help people like myself.

"Well I think this is a fantastic idea hun. I'm proud of you. But all our psychiatrists are gone home unless you want the only one here. He's a little bit of a nut job in my opinion but you know what it's your decision." she said tapping the end of the bed with her hand.

"Tomorrow. And I want a female please. She'll relate more than a man." she nodded and walked out but not before promising to bring me some dinner and threatening me if I didn't eat it.

I picked up my phone once she left and saw over 200 messaged from my parents and friends.

I deleted all of them and sent one simple message to all of them.

Hey, I know you have been concerned about me and I appreciate it and love you  so much but I'm much better now. You can come see me when I get home. I can't wait! <3

Much easier than typing individual messages.

I went into my contact list and clicked on one of them.

2 rings and the phone was answered.

"I love you. And I miss you. Bring the kids and come see me please."

I said as soon as she answered not even giving her the chance to answer.

"You sound good. I'll be there soon."

She put down and I felt joy circulate through my body. I was going to see my kids soon.

I laid back down and stared at the ceiling again, listening to the consistent beeping of the patient monitor reminding me that I was alive and healthy. That I had a life to live because I could have died.

I felt the stitches on my chest and thanked God for saving me so that I could build a family with my wife and kids.

Speaking of wife and kids all three of them came into my room and I was so happy to see them.

I sat back up and motioned for them to come closer.

Alec was just happy to see me but I could tell Taylor and Jessica were crying.

I hugged Alec first and kissed his head before I did the same to the other two.

"Mummy where were you?" Alec asked as he leaned against his other mom.

"Some bad people took me but your mom found me and now I'm safe and never ever leaving you three again." I said as I smiled at him.

"I missed you. So did mama and Taylor. They were both sad." he said and I felt my heart ache for my family.

"I know baby." I said as I offered them a weak smile.

We enjoyed each other's company and after Alec fell asleep we started having a more grown up conversation. I felt like Taylor was old enough to be apart of it.

"I'll be talking with a psychiatrist tomorrow and hopefully I'll be out of here soon but I won't stop seeing her." I said eyeing the two of them.

"I'm proud of you my love." Jess said blowing a kiss to me. I smiled at her and looked at Taylor.

"I almost lost you mum. You were the only adult figure in my life that gave a damn about me for the longest time and I felt like I lost you. I don't want to feel like that again." she said as she broke down at the foot of my bed.

I coaxed her head into my lap and let her cry it out.

"I'm not leaving baby girl. I'm safe. I'm here. And your mama and I are gonna keep all of us safe okay?" she nodded and with teary eyes hugged me.

I hugged her back and kissed her head.

The night shift nurse informed us that visiting hours would be over so I sent them off with promises to call them as they had school and work the next day seeing as it was a weekday.