32

I'm so excited to get back to the house tomorrow because I get to see Jessica. We haven't spoken since she left and I miss her.

It's not that she's ignoring me, she's just focusing on this case that is so urgent. When she gets focused like this she barely eats unless I remind her. She does do regular check ins to let me know she's okay and that she's still alive but we haven't had a real conversation. We haven't talked about the fight.

''Kids breakfast is ready!'' I scream from the kitchen. I made the kids favourite for breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes.

I hear the boys scampering down to the kitchen from their rooms and I see Tay walk out with Eli hand in hand.

''Do you need help with anything Andy?'' Eli drops Tay's hand and walks over to me and takes the stack of plates I was carrying.

''Thank you El. Just setting the table and I'll bring over the breakfast.'' I throw a smile their way before turning around and picking up the pancakes.

They smell delicious. Buttery and sweet.

The whole cabin smells of it and it's beautiful. The only thing that's missing right now is Jess. I miss her so damn much.

---

After breakfast the kids offered to clear up while I took a long bath which I really appreciated because I honestly need one.

''I love you guys, when you're done clearing up, take a break and chill in your rooms or wherever and after we'll all watch something together. Sound like a plan?''

I got 3 very enthusiastic nods from the kids so I left.

''Oh and pick something to watch while I'm gone.'' I scream as I walked to the bathroom.

I started filling the tub and while that was filling up with steaming water, I changed out of my pajamas and into one of the monogrammed bathrobes hanging on the back of the door. I decided to take a Bluetooth speaker with me. Listening to music sounds like an excellent idea since I am way to exhausted to read a book.

Ever since Jess and I had the fight I haven't slept a full night, I either don't sleep at all or my sleep is very broken.

Turns out leaving a fight with the person you love unresolved leads to things like insomnia and leaves me miserable. Or maybe I've always been an insomniac and I just haven't noticed?

Either way I haven't gotten a good rest in almost a week and it's really weighing me down.

I relax into the water, letting the fading warmth offer some semblance of comfort and while it isn't as comforting as being wrapped in my wife's loving arms, it certainly is very comforting. That I can't deny.

The warmth hugs me and keeps me in this blanket of comfort and heat, which in this freezing weather is a Godsend.

I look down in my lap and see froth bubbles from the bubble bath and use my hand to skim some off.

I vaguely remember taking bubble baths as a child and using the soap froth to make myself a Santa beard.

Smiling at the fond memory, I dip my hand into the water and surrender myself to it. Relaxing my body. Closing my eyes. Controlling my breathing.

Immediately I feel a hundred times better but there's still this feeling in my heart and thoughts in my head of my wife. The love of my life.

And the fight we left unresolved.

I need her.

But if she's working I'm not going to disturb her. She was right. She brings in the income with her job and with that income we can all afford to live generous lifestyles.

I hear a song come on through the Bluetooth radio systems. One of the kids must have pressed play to a Playlist they have.

It's our song. Jessica and I's song.

We first heard it playing a while ago when we immediately connected to it.

To the meaning behind it.

To the lyrics of the song.

To the way the song was beautifully delivered.

Everything about the song spoke to us and it became our song.

Grace by Lewis Capaldi.

Hearing our song made me think of her even more than I already have and it made me feel a thousand times guiltier for what I had said to her when we last spoke.

I pull my knees into my chest and break into sobs. My knees leave the warmth and comfort of the warm, rose scented, bathwater and it makes me hyper-aware of my body.

How could I have been so selfish? On the other hand is it really selfish to want to spend time with your wife and family uninterrupted? Without work ripping her away from you every time?

These conflicting thoughts didn't help what I was feeling.

I decided it was time I get out of the warm bath and join the rest of my family to watch something.

Pulling the plug on the bathtub to let the water drain out, I jumped into the shower to rinse off and the feeling of the steaming hot water on my skin make me feel that inkling of comfort once more which I was grateful for.

After a quick rinse I headed into the bedroom, walking along in the fluffy bathrobes from the bathroom.

I traced my finger over her initials as I did and it brought a smile to my face.

No matter if we're fighting or not, she always manages to bring a smile to my face when I think about her.

Ofcourse she doesn't know it and I'm not going to tell her.

I pulled on a paid of underwear and my warmest winter pajama pants with a long sleeve t-shirt and one of Jessica's hoodies before braiding my hair and putting on a beanie.

I grab my phone and switch off the music still playing in the bathroom before walking out to the living room.

It's eerily quiet as I walk there but I don't pay attention to it.

I stare at my phone hoping Jessica has messaged me but I see nothing and sigh out.

I look up from my phone just as I turned the corner into the living room and I'm shocked at what I see.

There's a huge bouquet of flowers on the table along with some chocolates and a nice little balloon arrangement.

Standing behind the table with her backed turn to me is someone with her arms folded across the front of her body.

"Jessica?!"

>*An: hiiii guys I know it's taken me a really long time to publish a new chapter but life has been absolutely crazy. A little update, I'm in my final year of school and well the first quarter kicked my ass 🥲. Anyway I hope you guys enjoy! *<