15

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Paige

I blinked my eyes. I feel like I wanna cry because of the extreme guilt that I'm feeling. Why did I forget?! Shit! you're so stupid Paige!

I ran after him. "Blake!" I shouted hoping that he'd stop. But he didn't. "Blake please!" I continued running after him. He walked away into the square. I tried my best to catch up but when I reached the square he disappeared into the crowd.

"Excuse me." I squeezed through all the people. I stood on my tippy toes to find his head in the crowd. He's gone instantly. Where did he go?

I continued to squeeze through the crowd. I walked past all the restaurants and shops, peeking through the windows hoping that I'd see him. But I didn't. Some teams from other schools would fill up the streets and cheer for their victories making me annoyed. How am I going to find him now? I even considered looking for him if he ever tried to go to Asia town, but I doubt he'd do that.

I lost track of time. Before I knew it, I was already out of the square. I felt like I should just go back to my dorm but my feet didn't stop. I continued walking. Trees replaced the buildings. I sighed and pulled out my phone. I took a deep breathe and dialed Blake's number.

He didn't answer. Of course he wouldn't. If someone would do to me the thing I did to him, I think I'd ignore that person the same way.

I'm such a bad person! Tears streamed down my face. I couldn't hold them any longer. I feel so guilty. How could I make him wait that long?! Why didn't it occur to me that he'd be waiting? Why didn't I remember?!

"Watch out!"

My eyes widened. I turned to my right and found a soccer ball flying towards me. I immediately stepped back and stopped the ball with my right foot. That was a close one.

Kile came jogging towards me. I didn't notice that I came across the soccer field.

My tears stopped. I kept silent.

He kneeled down and took the ball from the ground. "Sorry." He apologized then faced me.

"It's ok." I kept my head down so that he wouldn't see my freshly watered eyes.

He scrunched his forehead. "Is that you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously."

"Well it doesn't sound like you." He chuckled.

"Then what sounds like me?"

"You'd be mad at me for almost hitting you." He crossed his arms. "What's wrong."

My eyes widened. Is it that obvious that I'm going through something?!

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"Then why do you look like that." He pointed to my face.

Damn it! I knew this face would sell me out!

I wanted to protest but I kept quiet. I'm tired of talking and reasoning out.

"Kile! Lets go!" One of Kile's teammates called. They must've been training. If I recall correctly,

the soccer games starts the day after tomorrow.

Kile answered. "You guys go on!"

His teammates probably left. I kept my head down trying my very best to not let another batch of tears stream out. I don't want Kile to witness me crying.

"You wanna sit down?" Kile said in a soft voice.

I didn't respond but I sat down on a rock at the side of the road. Infront of me was the soccer field. Behind me were trees. Above me was the dark night sky.To my surprise Kile sat down beside me. Part of me felt like I wanted to get mad at him and push him away, but at the same time, another part of me wanted him to stay.

I took a deep breathe, struggling to keep my emotions intact.

He stayed quietly beside me. Both of us overlooked the view of the soccer field.

"Let it out. It becomes heavier when you hold them in." He kept his eyes on the field. "I'll just pretend that I don't hear it."

The second he said that, the tears I've kept holding in automatically streamed down my face. I feel so bad of what I've done, the guilt just doesn't subside. The way Blake just stood there, leaning on his car, waiting about an hour and thirty minutes for me in front of my dorm replayed in my head. More tears flowed out.

Kile kept silent beside me. I feel conscious about the way he hears my cries but at the same time I'm thankful that he's with me. That I'm not alone. When he noticed me starring at him he turned to me.

"You done?"

I wiped my face and nodded. I can't just cry the whole night and mourn over a spilled milk. What's done is done.

Kile suddenly stood up and offered his hand to me. "C'mon."

I blinked twice and took his hand. I stood up and brushed the leaves off my legs. Kile let go of my hand. "Follow me." He walked down to the soccer field, with the soccer ball still in his hand. I followed him.

We both got to the wide field and walked across it. He stopped a few meter in front of the goal and so did I. He placed the ball infront of me.

I raised my eyebrow. "What am I going to do with that?"

"Kick it."

Does he expect me to kick it?! Hello?! I don't even know the first thing about soccer!

"Why should I do that?" I crossed my arms.

He looked at me seriously. "To forget whatever's troubling you."

"Is it effective?"

He bit his lip. "It works for me."

I sighed. "Alright." He stepped aside and I angled myself. I brought my force to my leg and kicked the ball.

I expected the ball to hit the goal since I'm right infront of it. Instead the ball went gliding out to the other side of the court. Am I this bad?!

Kile laughed. "I hate to tell you this but, you're so bad at this."

"Easy for you to say!" I rolled my eyes but I couldn't disagree with him. I smiled when I heard his laugh. I never knew he could laugh, well laugh genuinely.

I found another ball by the side of the goal. I picked it up and handed it to him. "Well why don't you try it."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "You sure you want me to do this?"

I nodded.

"Whatever you say." He was about to place the ball the same position where my ball was placed a while ago but I stopped him. "Not there."

He frowned. "Where."

I smiled. "You have to kick the ball to the goal from the other side of the field." I laughed.

"That's unfair." He sounded like a kid.

I rolled my eyes at him. "It's not unfair! You're a soccer player and I'm not so it's fair and square." I crossed my arms.

Before he could hesitate I pushed him towards the other end of the field. He didn't hesitate.

I went to the side of the field and he positioned his ball. I watched intensely as he did warm up kicks. He looked at the ball and at the goal. Probably calculating how hard must he kick it. He took a step backward and positioned his foot, he leaned close to the ball and gave it a hard, fast kick. The next thing I knew was seeing the ball ricochet to the net.

My mouth formed an O. He actually got to do it. He walked towards the net and picked up the ball.

He then walked towards me with the ball in hand. From afar I could already imagine the smirk on his face. The smirk of success.

I rolled my eyes and walked towards him, meeting him halfway across the field. I took the ball out of his hands. "My turn again."

________________________

"Where were you!" Aicko scolded me the second entered my dorm.

I was playing soccer with Kile, I had so much fun that I lost track of time. Playing with him made me forget everything on my mind, but afterwards all the guilt came back.

I threw myself on the couch and closed my eyes. I've had a busy day.

"Hello? You still there?" Aicko snapped her fingers at me. "Where have you been? We've all been wondering where you might've gone, especially Carter."

I frowned at her and threw a pillow at her. "Stop it!" She made an evil laugh.

"But seriously, where've you been."

I took a deep breathe. I told her about what happened between me and Blake, her eyes widened as I told more of the story.

She gave her reaction when I ended the story. "Gosh, you're so bad Paige." She covered her mouth with one hand, acting as if she's so shocked. "Poor Blake." She pouted.

"You know you're not helping."

She laughed. "Why so serious? You know I'm kidding."

"What am I going to do?" I sighed.

She held my hand. "Give him a sincere apology, who knows he might not get to resist you." She winked at me.

I threw another pillow at her. She caught it and gave me a peace hand sign.

But maybe she's right, I'll just give him a sincere apology. The sincerest apology that I can think of. An apology that he could never give.

________________________________

"Hurry up!" Shari called us. "We're going to loose seats."

We all woke up extra early today, because Aicko said that we needed to get the best seat at today's football game. Apparently it's the most awaited game of the whole tournament. And here I am so nervous about seeing Blake.

I kept giving second thoughts about watching, yesterday Blake said that he wanted me to watch but after what happened does he still want to?

"Paige don't move." Aicko scolded me. She said that it's a thing for the girls of our school to wears pigtail braids and inserts blue ribbons into them to show our support for the football team. I see that Shari's having it on too so that basically means that Aicko didn't lie.

Today I'm still wearing another one of my jerseys and some white shorts. I partnered it with my blue sneakers. I readied a small white backpack and inserted my flask of water in it and my name plate.

After she braided me, she went to the mirror to check the braids she did herself. I examined checked myself as well, afterwards we all ran down the building and rode Shari's car to the football field/stadium.

When we arrived, there wasn't that much people yet and the sun wasn't yet up. Aicko really wanted to get us a seat this badly. Since she's part of the student council, she told us that the student council's selling Tiger's merchandise. They sold some drinks that said go Tigers, blue ballons with a Tiger design, fans with team numbers and replicated T-shirt jerseys of the football team. Wow, is this how they value the game.

Apparently Aicko immediately bought us balloons and cat ear headbands that has faces of our football team players. "Here she handed me a headband." I checked it out before wearing it and my eyes widened. "Why do I have Blake's face on mine?!" I glared at Aicko.

"Relax girl." Shari laughed. "So do we." She showed hers and so did Aicko.

"Can't I get a different one?" I pleaded.

"Stop complaining." Aicko scolded me. "Who knows, maybe he might forgive you when he sees you wearing a headband with his face on it." She giggled.

"Aicko!"

She laughed at me. I didn't have a choice, although I don't want to wear it, I'm here to support him aren't I? I kept it in my bag since the game's not yet starting. The three of us then walked towards the back of the bleachers, Shari and Aicko wanted to greet the football team and wish them goodluck. My knees trembled as we approached.

When we entered, there in front of us are the football team members. My heart started raising fast. Aicko and Shari greeted the other players while my eyes slowly looked for Blake. Some players were sitting down, others were drinking hot chocolate, but I didn't see Blake. Maybe he's not here. I tried to call Aicko and Shari's attention but they both were having a conversation with some players. I'll just leave and find us a seat in the bleachers.

I turned around to the door when I hit someone's chest. I looked up to the person and my heart started hammering when I saw Blake. This is my chance to  apologize. Good thing I wasn't yet wearing the headband that Aicko gave me, it would be embarrassing if he saw me wear it up close.

"Hey I-." He walked right past me without letting me finish my statement. I sighed and walked out. He really is so mad.

I trudged towards the stands when I noticed the cheerleaders have arrived. They had their hairs in a half braid todays and just like us, they had blue ribbons inserted through their braids which matched their blue and white uniform and pompoms.

I scrunched my forehead when I noticed that all of them were peeking at the something. I decided to walk away.

"Hey you!" I turned to the person who called me and was surprised to see Khrysie.

"Come look at this." She beckoned me to come to them. At first I didn't want to but I'm just curious about what they're looking at. I walked closer and peeked aswell. My eyes widened when I saw the football players of Excalibur jogging topless.

"Hot aren't they?" Nile giggled.

Since all of them were topless, their muscled biceps and abs were exposed making the cheerleaders sigh.

"Oh! There's Squire Brooks!" Khrysie pointed. We all turned to the person she pertained to, my eyes widened when I saw Carter. He looks great with his shirt off but why don't I feel as jittery like yesterday?

"Hot isn't he." Isabel nudged Diana.

"He's ok but not as hot as Aiden." Diana crossed her arms and looked away. "Can we just check out the swimming team?"

I rolled my eyes at the mention of Aiden's name.

"I heard that Squire Brooks got to fight a handful of rebels back when they stormed Hawk Ridge at the age of 16 which got him a place in the round table." Khrysie gossiped.

I had no idea of what they're talking about, probably about the Knight's school. I just left and found Aicko, Shari and I a seat.

I found us a seat that had a nice view of the game. I got surprised to see Lucy on the a few seats away. She had her nose glued to a book and the sunshine reflected on her glasses. She wasn't with anyone else, she doesn't really look like the type of person who goes with friends in other words an introvert.

I didn't greet her since she didn't even notice that I was here so I just took my seat.

_____________________________

"Go Tigers!!!" Our school's half of the stadium roared.

The other half of the stadium adjacent to us were the students from Excalibur, supporting their team. I also spotted students from other school's watching the game. I even spotted our teachers and the dean in the crowd. The football game between The Knights and our school must be really a big deal to everyone.

My heart was beating fast while I watched the game. It was a close match. Once one team scores, the other one does the same. For an unexplainable reason my eyes kept glued on number 7. Blake.

When he did a touch down everyone cheered. There were many banners made for our team, but some of them where for Blake specifically.

I shook my head and tried to focus my eyes on someone else, my eyes went to Carter. He was really good, he ran across the field an tossed the ball. The other side of the stadium cheered when he did a touchdown.

I got surprised when my eyes subconsciously returned to Blake. Why am I like this?! I wondered. It must be the guilt.

The stadium roared louder than ever before when our team won. The cheerleaders did some kind of expedition. Aicko pulled me and Shari down the bleachers to congratulate the players. My knees trembled again as we approached them. I spotted Ram and Kile down there. My walking became heavy. I have to talk to him. Aicko and Shari congratulated them. I called Blake the second I saw him.

He turned to me but his eyes went straight to my head. Oh Shit! I'm wearing the headband with his face on it. I wanted badly to take it off but I ignored my instincts for once.

"Can we talk." I sounded desperate.

"Blakey Wakey!" I suddenly heard some high pitched voices call him, the next thing I knew was me facing the back of his Jersey watching him walk towards three girls who looked unfamiliar, maybe from a different school.

I got used to see him throw out rage when he's angry, but seeing anger this quiet is scarier. This my fault. I sighed. I deserve this.

I stayed where I was while more and more people came closer to congratulate the players.

"HEY!"

I jumped from where I was standing when Carter jumped infront of me out from nowhere.

"Hi." I smiled.

"Congratulations, your team won." He smiled back.

"Uh- Thanks."

I said bye to him immediately when Aicko and Shari finished their conversation with the players.

I wasn't in the mood to talk with anybody including Carter.

After we left the stadium Aicko clung her arm around mine and Shari's. "We should go to the victory party later."

"There's a victory party?" I scrunched my forehead.

"Of course! It's the student's council's treat for our team ang guess what, I'm planning it!" She pointed to herself. "Do you guys have any schedule this afternoon?"

Shari sighed. "I've got training, our game's tomorrow."

"It's ok, how bout you Paige?"

My games done so I'm obviously free. "I'm good."

"Great, you don't mind helping me set up don't you?"

"Not at all."

________________________

After lunch, Shari left for practice and Aicko and I drove to the biggest bar club in the square. There were other student council member's when we entered the club. Aicko and I started hanging decorations. I tried keeping my focus on the decorations but my mind kept thinking on how I could make it up to Blake.

I got shocked when Aicko took the decoration off my hands.

I turned to her.

"Go to the mall and get him something."

I scrunched my eyebrows. "What do you mean."

"Ugh." She rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean." She eyed me.

Actually I did. "You think that'll make him forgive me?"

"No one knows." She stood on a stool and hung a congratulations banner on the wall. "But it's best to try."

I nodded and left to mall. I peeked through every shop to check if there's something that'll make him accept my apology. Only then did I realize that I don't know much about him at all, aside from football. All we did when we were together was fight.

Just then I realized, I need to give him something with a meaning. Then it hit me. I left the mall and went to the grocery store. I bought ingredients and went to my dorm and started baking. If there was one thing that I could give that was sincere then it would be made by me. Mom taught me how to bake when I was 5, Aiden would also hang around and pour the flour.

I planned on baking a blue berry cheesecake, and so I did. I even thought of putting the word Sorry in the middle of the cake, then I realized that that'd be weird. I laughed the thought off.

After 2 hours I finished. Aicko came in the dorm and we both changed into party clothes.

Aicko wore a white sleeveless top and a red velvet skirt. She tied her hair in a bun and left some of the strands falling out. She made me wear my white tubed top and some ripped jeans. I let my blonde hair down making it's soft curls fall perfectly. I refused to wear make up but she was too persuasive so I ended up wearing light make up.

I placed the cake in a box and we rode her car going to the club. Shari said that she'd follow after her training. When we entered the club, the disco was already on, the decorations were lovely and the food and drinks were all set.

A few people were already inside, Aicko and I sat down on a table. I never thought I'd actually be in this position in giving something to Blake Carlisle and asking for his forgiveness.

Soon more and more people entered the club. I held my breathe when the football team came in but apparently, Blake's not with them.

Everyone's eyes went to the door when Bellona entered, wearing a silver sleeveless top and leather skirt. I never thought that I'd see her in a party, but maybe she showed up because she's part of the students council.

Behind her were Nile, Diana, Eloise, and Isabel.

They sat down on the table beside us.

"What's up Party people!" Ram shouted as he entered. Now the party's going to get a lot noisier.

I spotted Kile enter aswell, He sat with Ram and they both started drinking.

Others were at the billiards table, others were singing karaoke. I looked at Aicko, she was still busy talking to someone. Suddenly the door opened and in came the Russian doll. She rushed to the table beside us joining her friends. I sipped on my glass of water.

"And where have you been?" I heard Nile ask.

"And why are you blushing?" Isabel added.

"You would not believe this." Khrysie sat down on a chair. "Blake and I went to the movie theatre!"

I chocked on my drink.

"No way!" Diana exclaimed. "He asked you?!"

"Yes! Right after his game."

The girls squealed.

"No wonder you immediately disappeared." I heard Bellona.

"Girl, your 10 years of waiting's finally paying off." Eloise said.

Khrysie sighed. "Today is by far the best day of my life."

"I'm so jealous, when will Aiden ask me out." Diana pouted.

So Blake watched the movie with Khrysie instead of me. I didn't know why but I felt a pain in my chest upon hearing it. Suddenly, the club doors opened and in came Blake.

"He's here!" I heard the girls from the other table giggle.

I immediately stood up and approached him. He was talking with Ram and Kile. He looked up to me when he spotted me approaching. He watched me as I walked closer. I held the box in my hands. "Blake I'm-"

"Blake! you're here!" The Russian doll came blocking Blake from my view. I sighed and turned around. I sat on my seat and placed the box on the table. I slouched in my seat, a waiter came and gave me drinks. I had no idea what it was, all I know is that it's alcohol. I gulped it down my throat. Damn! That tastes bad.

"You drink?" I stared up and saw Carter.

"Yeah." I took another sip. My eyes widened at it's bitter taste. I gulped it down my throat feeling a heating sensation in my insides. I coughed. "Actually I don't."

Carter handed me water and sat beside me. I gulped it down hoping the bitter after taste would fade.  "That's a strong beer." He chuckled. "What's troubling you?"

"What? Nothing." I denied.

"Oh look at you two!" Aicko teased. "I'm going to the dancefloor, Carter you're in charge of her."

"I sure am." He laughed then faced me.

I was about to take another sip of the drink when I shook my head. My Mom raised me well enough to not get drunk in clubs. I turned to Carter. "Do you wanna dance?"

He blinked at me. "Ok?"

I pulled him up and we both approached the dance floor. I spotted Aicko in there dancing. She winked at me when she saw me. I didn't know why but I started feeling dizzy, probably because of the disco lights and the what I drank. I just had two sips and I'm already this dizzy?!

"You sure you wanna dance?" I looked up at Carter. "You look tipsy."

Tipsy? Immediately? Does that mean I have low alcohol tolerance?!

"No it's fi-" My eyes widened when I lost my balance and tripped, falling on his chest. Damn these heels!

Shock was evident in his eyes. "I think you're drunk, you should go home." He sounded concerned.

"No I'm fine!" What am I saying? I'm definitely not! I tried to get away from his chest only to trip again and fall back on it.

"You're definitely drunk." He helped me stand. "I should take you to Aicko." He tried to pull my hand towards the table.

I pulled back. "No I wanna stay here." What am I saying? I laughed like a lunatic.

"Paige please, you're not in a good shape right now." He pleaded.

"What are you talking about? Of course I a-" I got shocked when someone else pulled me away from the dance floor leaving Carter behind.

"Hey where are you taking her?!" I heard Carter.

"I'm taking her home." The guy said back.

"Excuse me mister! what are you doing?!" I frowned when he made me sit on our table.

He handed me water. "Drink." He commanded. "You're drunk as shit."

I rolled my eyes and drank it. He handed me another glass. I drank it again, I frowned when he gave me the third glass.

"Are you trying to drown me?!"

"Let it drain the alcohol from your system." He seemed serious. When I finished it I slumped in my seat. The world seems like spinning round and round.

"Where's Aicko?" He asked.

I laughed and pointed to the dancefloor. I guess I'm really drunk.

He massaged the sides of his head. "God, just two sips of beer and you're drunk."

How did he know how much I drank? My eyes widened when he pulled me up from my seat and held my waist supporting my balance.

Now I felt as if I could collapse any minute. "Where are we going?"

"You're going home."

"Wait!" I remembered. "Get my box."

He reached for it and the next thing I knew was that we were both walking outside towards his car. I was so close to him since he's supporting me walk.

He opened the car door for me and I went inside, he placed a seatbelt on me and placed my box on my lap then walked towards the driver's sit.

He started the engine. "You're really stupid. Why did you drink in the first place." He muttered.

"Because I'm going through something."

He raised his eyebrow. "What are you going through?"

"Guilt!" I said it loudly.

He turned the stirring wheel through the intersection. "Why?"

"Because I've done something so bad." Tears suddenly streamed down my eyes. "I had plans with someone, and he waited for me but I didn't show up."

He scoffed. "If you're the one who did something wrong then why are you the one crying?"

"Because I feel so bad, I couldn't forget the look on his face when I found him waiting for me." I slumped in my seat. "I'm such a bad person."

"What did you do to make it up to him?"

"I followed him across the square, I even ended up in the woods." I laughed. "I also attended his game but he didn't mind me." I sighed. "He's so angry at me."

"He is." He whispered.

"I just really wish that I could talk to him and." My tears became fat but I couldn't tell why.

"And?"

"And tell him, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I held my chest because of my tears. "I just wish that he would talk to me so that he will know how sorry I am."

He kept silent.

I wiped my tears and looked at my box. "I went to the mall a while ago, I wanted to find him a gift, because he won his game but I couldn't find anything."

"And then?" The guy seemed eager to listen. Well atleast this guy listens.

"I decided to just go home and bake him a cake, hopefully he would realize how guilty I was." I laughed. "But he didn't mind me when I was about to give it which makes me feel bad."

The guy looked down and bit his lip. "He probably has no idea."

"No matter how hard I try to approach him, he keeps going away." I sighed. "He probably doesn't care."

"He does." The guy said in a low voice.

I realized that he parked infront of my dorm. I opened my door and the guy helped me walk towards the main door of my dorm building.

I was about to walk in when I remembered something. "Do me a favor." I handed my box of cake to him. "If you ever come across him, can you atleast give him that?" I sighed.

"Even if he won't listen to me, please let him know how gravely sorry I am."

He became speechless and kept his eyes on the box. I was about to walk inside my building when he held my arm.

"He'd like to let you know that he forgives you."

_______________________________________________

Don't forget to vote;) (spreads love all the way from Asia)

Sorry bout the late updte, my mom made me sort the keys of our house and made me label them. Anywys Im glad I got to update. Hope my motivation stays✊ Help motivate me!

Xoxo

~Z