I Love You Just The Way You Are

Amanda's POV

I wake up to Michelle kissing me on the cheek and asking if I wanted breakfast. I nod, rubbing my eyes and getting up to go to the bathroom.

I then join her at the table, and she gives me a plate full of food.

It's been weeks since my mother kicked me out of the house. I still feel hurt, but I know I have to keep moving on and not be a burden to Michelle.

Even though I have already applied to a couple of colleges, I think I should start looking for a job.

I try to eat as much as I can. Michelle keeps asking me about college again, and I begin to feel like she wants me out. I don't deserve her; she's beautiful and successful, and I'm...

We talk for a bit before Michelle gets up and cleans her plate. She kisses me on the lips. Which sends butterflies all over my body like usual, except this time I feel like it's not deserved. I watch her walk out the door, and I instantly burst into tears, not being able to control my emotions.

I make my way to the bathroom and kneel in front of the toilet. I take a few deep breaths before I bring my finger to my mouth, pushing it in deeper and deeper. I gag, but nothing comes out. I spit it into the toilet, and after a moment I try again. It happens in an instant before I could even retrieve my finger. As soon as it stops, I see her from the corner of my eye.

Michelle is standing in the door, shocked. I quickly stand up and stare at the floor in shame...

MICHELLE'S POV

Weeks have passed, and Amanda seems to have gotten comfortable living here with me, although she hasn't been her cheerful self. I'm not sure how to ask her if everything's fine. I hope she can open up to me and let me know if something's wrong.

I get out of bed first and begin making breakfast before taking a shower and getting ready for work. As usual, Amanda uses the bathroom after me, and we meet at the dining table for breakfast.

"Are you still looking at colleges to apply to?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, picking at her plate.

"Have you applied to any?"

I say, realizing that maybe I came off as trying to pressure her.

"If you haven't, then—"

"I have...but...I haven't heard from any of them yet."

"Oh, I see. Which colleges did you apply to?" I asked nonchalantly, trying not to sound too invested.

"Um...Spring Hill University because that's where my volleyball team was going and Reed community college, which is probably the best one since I can't afford anything else specifically now since..."

I change the conversation to small talk, wanting to give her some space. I don't know how my mind would've handled getting kicked out of the house by my own mother.

After breakfast, I kiss her on the cheek and I head to work. I start the car but can't bring myself to change the gear. I begin to fight with myself inside my head. Not sure if to give Amanda space or keep being by her side through this.

After a bit of back and forth, I breathe out and turn off the car. I head inside, realizing that it'll be better to talk to her instead of guessing. I turn off the car and head inside. As I pass the kitchen, I see Amanda's plate still on the table and still full of food. I put my bag down on the table, and just as I was going to yell for her, I hear a retching sound coming from the bathroom. I quickly walk over and catch Amanda with her finger in her mouth. Before I could speak, she vomits into the toilet. She notices me and quickly stands up.

A lot of different feelings rushed through me. Hurt, sadness, sympathy, anger—but at this moment my feelings don't matter. My body moves by itself, and I wrap my arms around her.

She cries on my shoulder as she whispers, "I'm sorry." I assure her that she has nothing to apologize for, and I wash her hand before taking her to bed, where she falls asleep, and I sit next to her, thinking of ways to help her. I take off my blouse and text Chandice that I won't be able to make it to work. I check on Amanda as I clean around the house and do some work from my laptop.

After a good while, I bring Amanda a cup of water and sit next to her for a while.

AMANDA'S POV

I wake up to Michelle stroking my hair. We make brief eye contact before I look away.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Her voice tried to sound calm and casual, but there was a hint of pity, which made me feel worse.

"Ok-okay," I let out.

"I'm glad..."

Silence filled the room.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah."

I lay on my side, not wanting to move. Michelle's hand is caressing my thigh.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Michelle breaks the silence again.

I try to shake my head, but seeing as I was lying down, I answer

"no,"

my voice barely a whisper.

Michelle takes a deep breath, sending shivers through my body. I was afraid of what she was going to say to me and of what she thinks of me now. If I wasn't a burden before, I just changed that.

She kneels in front of me and I close my eyes, trying to avoid eye contact.

"Open your eyes and look at me, please." she says as she strokes my hair.

I hesitate for a moment before I open my eyes and begin to tear up as I lock eyes with her.

"It's okay," she says, wiping my tears with her thumbs and cupping my face.

"I want to help you get through this. I...know a very good therapist."

"No!" I say, turning away from her.

"It can help you."

"I don't want to tell a stranger how much of a loser I am."

"Amanda, you are not a loser."

"I just want to be normal."

It's silent again in the room.

"I went to therapy; am I not normal?"

I don't respond.

"I just want to help,"

she says, getting into bed with me and wrapping me in her arms. She kisses the top of my head as she continues, "Can you at least go to one session?"

After another period of silence, she says, "Amanda, will you please look at me?"

Her voice breaking as she said it. I turn my whole body towards her. This time it was Michelle who avoided eye contact. Her thumb and index finger failing to stop her tears flooding out. They fall from her eyes leaving a visible trail. I felt like something hit me in the gut seeing her cry like this because of me. She lets out the sob and I hugs her, tearing up as well.

"I'm sorry."

"Stop! I've told you to stop...apologizing."

...

"I'll...I'll go."

"Huh?"

"To therapy."

Michelle holds me tighter. "Thank you. I just want you to be safe and not feel like... You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, and I just want you to stop putting yourself down;

it hurts because

I love you so much."

Michelle breaks and starts sobbing uncontrollably. Her body shakes as I stop myself from apologizing again. Hearing those words made my heart flutter and my stomach churn. I've never had anyone care so much for me, and it felt amazing but scary at the same time. I don't deserve someone like Michelle. I hold her tighter, feeling her warm body pressed against mine as I whisper back, "I love you too."

MICHELLE'S POV

I wait anxiously outside of the therapist's office. My mind was filled with worries. Is she comfortable?

Does she hate it?

Oh my god!

Did I trap her in there for an hour?

The door opens, and I'm pulled out of my thoughts as Amanda steps out. Her eyes are red and puffy. I quickly get up from my seat and meet Amanda half way. I embrace her and ask, "How was it?"

"Okay, I guess."

She sniffles. I let out a sigh of relief.

"That's good."

"She wants to schedule another appointment,"

she says sheepishly.

"Do you want to come back?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"It's fine. We can come back later if you decide you want to. I'm so proud of you." I say and kiss her forehead.

"Hey, stranger,"

Amanda's and my (former) therapist say, approaching us.

"Hi, sorry for not calling ahead, but thanks for making an exception for her."

"Of course, it was a pleasure talking to you," she says to Amanda.

"Same," Amanda responds shyly. She smiles and looks back at me.

"Got a sec?" she asks.

"Sure." I squeeze Amanda's hand and turn to her.

"Wait here, I'll be right back."

I follow Dr. Jasmine into her office, and she closes the door. "Is everything okay?" I ask.

"Yes, I just wanted to catch up; it's been a while," she says.

"Right. Sorry, life has been hectic."

"I understand," she says.

"What about you?" I ask.

"Good. Busy," she responds.

"I bet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she says, grinning.

"Well, you're the best! I mean, yeah. You are really good."

"Aw, how sweet." We laugh, and I'm reminded of the days when I was still her patient.

"Actually, there's a reason why I asked you to come in."

"Is it about Amanda?" I ask, trying not to sound so eager.

"Sorta."

"What do you mean?"

"Michelle, you know I'm not allowed to talk about the details of other people's sessions, but I've been worried about you."

"Oh. Why?"

"I'm...well, have you been doing okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you more confident?"

I look towards the door and breathe out,

"Yeah, I think so."

"Good."

She pauses for a moment. "Have you been...you know...active?"

"Yeah, I've been working out when I can."

"Great, but I meant...you know." She makes a weird gesture.

"I'm not getting what you mean, oh!"

"Yeah," she sighs, "how's your sex life?... Sorry for being blunt but..."

"No. I uh, I get it, and yeah, I've been active as of recently."

"That's good, no more tears?"

"...well, we haven't."

"I see it's not for me to decide what you do in bed obviously, but I just hope you can get over your anxieties.

Anyway, I'm glad you are doing better. You look really happy, and of course if you need to talk. I'm here."

"Thank you."

"One more thing. Her mother.

Is Linda, isn't it?"

I nod.

"How did you know?"

"When two beautiful women that know each other come in with low self-esteem, I figure it stems from the same place...or well, in this case, the same woman."

"Yeah, listen, I know it's weird, but I truly l-"

"It's okay, Michelle, I'm not here to judge; I just made the connection. Anyway, it's good seeing you again."

We hug and I join Amanda outside.

"You were right, she is really nice,"

Amanda says while we drive home.

"Isn't she?!" I agree.

"I'm okay with another session," she says after a while.

"I'm glad."

I look over at her and can't help but smile.

...

It's been a rough few weeks with a lot of ups and downs, but Amanda seems to be getting better. She's been going to therapy, and I couldn't be happier.

As I'm leaving with Amanda, Dr. Jasmine calls for me, "Michelle, do you have a minute?"

"Sure."

I look over at Amanda,

"I'll meet you in the car," I say, giving her the keys.

I walk over to Dr. Jasmine, who leads me inside her office.

"Sorry to keep you. It's just that...I want to let you know that Amanda is doing really well."

"That's great!"

"Yeah. The thing is that she's been talking about her relationship with you and...Well, how should I put this?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"No, no, no! Just the opposite. She really likes you and she seems to have a lot of trust and faith in you. The only problem is that she doesn't seem to have any trust in herself."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it seems that she doesn't think she's worthy of you and the happiness you bring her."

"That's not...she shouldn't-"

"Again, I can't share much, but let me just tell you this: just because Amanda's coming to therapy doesn't mean she's sick or can't be...Active."

"What do you-oh!"

"I know. It's not for me to interfere in your personal life, but I think it would help."

"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you."

"Of course. I'll see you next time."

"See you."

I walk back to the car where Amanda is waiting.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing important."

"Oh."

"Hey, listen. Can I take you out for dinner?"

"Sure. Where are we going?"

"Somewhere nice and fancy or any place you want."

"Anywhere's fine."

"Are you maybe craving anything in particular?"

"Well, I wanted to try out this new place I heard about on social media. Ollie and Lisa went, and apparently, the food is really good."

"Ok, let's go then."

"The thing is they only serve greasy food, and...well, I've...so maybe not."

"But if you really want to try it, we could share a meal."

"Okay, that sounds good."

We arrive at a small burger place with an outdoor seating area. The walls are covered in different artworks. I must admit that I've grown accustomed to fancy restaurants since that's usually where I would meet with clients and higher-ups, but if Amanda's into it, I'm okay with it.

We order at the counter and sit down at one of the tables.

"This place is really cool. I love the vibe here."

"Yeah, it's different, but not bad."

"It's very cozy."

I admire her as she takes pictures of the wall and the menu. Our order is up and I grab our food and sit back at the table.

"This looks delicious!"

Amanda exclaims excitedly. I can't help but laugh at her excitement.

"Yeah! It does."

She takes a bite and a smile spreads across her face.

"Oh my god, it's amazing! Here, try it,"

I take a bite. It really is good.

"Wow, yeah."

"Right?!"

We eat and enjoy the meal together. It's a simple meal, but the food itself is cooked to perfection and filled with flavor; even my vanilla shake tastes very vanilla-y.

"Mm, this is really good," I say, pointing to my drink.

"Here taste mine." Amanda hands me her strawberry milkshake, and I take a sip.

"Mm, yeah, that's good too. Try mine,"

I say as I hand her my cup.

She takes a sip.

We continue eating and drinking. After we finish up the meal, I'm still hungry and stand up to look at the menu board.

"Are you still hungry?" Amanda asks, walking up next to me.

"A little. Let's order something else."

"Okay."

We end up getting more food.

"God, I'm so full," Amanda says.

"Me too. "But this is really good."

"Yeah, I have no complaints."

After a moment Amanda gets up from the table.

"I'm going to use the bathroom; I'll be right back."

"Okay."

I sit there looking at my phone, and a few minutes later Amanda comes out and sits back at the table.

"Sorry, I took so long."

"Did...did something happen?"

"No, It was just...taking a while."

"Are you sure? You didn't...never mind."

"What?"

"It''s nothing."

"No, tell me."

"I'm just worried that maybe you made yourself...throw up."

"What? No! No! I didn't, I swear!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you or anything. I'm just concerned."

"I get it. I just..."

"I'm sorry. Hey, let's go for a walk."

"Okay."

We get up and walk towards the park.

"I'm sorry for bringing it up. It's just...It hurts not being able to help you, but I guess bringing it up just makes it worse."

"You don't have to worry. I'm getting better. I kind of like that you are concerned; I just don't want you to think any less of me."

"I would never."

I wrap my arm around her shoulders and kiss her head.

"You are my everything."

She wraps her arm around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder.

"I really don't deserve you."

"That's not true; don't ever say that. You are amazing, smart, and caring. You've helped me without even realizing it; if anything, I don't deserve you."

Amanda's eyes begin to fill up with tears, and she hugs me tight.

"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"It's getting late. We should head back home."

"Okay."

We hold hands, interlocking our fingers as we walk back to the car.

As we're heading home, Amanda begins to drift off, and I can't help but smile at her peaceful face until I realize that I wanted to be intimate with her tonight.

Not just because Dr. Jasmine told me it could help her, but because it's been a while and I've been craving her.

I miss feeling her naked body against mine, her taste, the moans that escape her mouth, the way she looks at me as I please her, and the face she makes when she orgasms. I can feel myself getting turned on, my heart racing, and my stomach tightening. I can feel warmth building up in my core. I press my thighs together and grip the steering wheel as tightly as possible, trying to contain myself.

"Fuck," I mutter to myself. I arrive home and park in the garage.

I gently shake Amanda's shoulders to wake her up.

"Hey, wake up. We're home."

"Hm." She hums.

"Amanda."

"We're home baby."

"Oh, okay."

She gets out of the car and I guide her inside.

"Tired?"

"A little."

"Oh, I see. Well, let's get you to bed then."

"Did you want to do something else?" she asks.

"No, I just thought we could watch a movie or something, but if you are tired, then-"

"Actually, I'm not too tired."

"Cool, cool. Um, why don't you go change and I'll make us some popcorn?"

"Okay." She rubs her eyes and leaves the living room.

I get the popcorn and a couple of drinks and wait for her to come out of the bathroom. She comes out wearing her usual sleepwear that consists of a t-shirt and pajama bottoms. Even though she usually wears similar clothes to bed this time, you can't help but focus her body. The way her pajamas cling to her hips. The way the fabric of her shirt drapes over her chest.

"Is there something wrong?"

Amanda asks.

"N-no, not at all. Um, you want to get the movie started while I get changed?"

"Yeah."

She sits down as I hand her the remote. I head into the bedroom and quickly change into a tank top and shorts. I also remove my bra and throw it in the laundry bin before grabbing a blanket and going back into the living room.

When I arrive, I find Amanda laying on the couch, remote in hand, still scrolling through movie options.

"Find something yet?"

I ask as I lift her legs and sit under them.

"Um, no, not yet."

She replies, repositioning herself so she can rest her head against my shoulder.

"What about this one?"

I ask, pointing to a lesbian romantic comedy.

"Okay." She clicks the movie and puts the remote down.

As we watch the movie, I struggle to come up with a way to make a move on Amanda.

Amanda, on the other hand, is enjoying the movie and eating popcorn. I'm not sure why I'm struggling so much; after all, we've been together for a while now. But for some reason tonight feels different. Maybe it's because I'm scared that maybe she's not ready. I'm lost in thought as Amanda lays down, resting her head on my lap.

I begin to stroke her hair.

"They're so pretty," Amanda says.

"They are."

"I wish I could have their bodies."

"What are you talking about? You're perfect."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious."

We watch and comment on the movie until a sex scene comes up. It starts with a kiss between the lead actresses, then they slowly take each other's clothes off until they are completely naked and making out on the bed.

We both stay silent for a while as the women on screen continue having sex.

"It's still going, huh?" I ask, breaking the silence.

"Yep."

I can feel my heart beat faster and my breathing become more shallow as I begin to imagine me and Amanda doing the same things the women on the screen are doing. I feel a familiar warmth build up between my legs. I begin to fidget in my seat, trying to find a comfortable position.

"Michelle?"

"Yes? "

"Is something bothering you?"

"Huh, no. Why? "

"It's just that I've noticed you keep shifting in your seat."

"Oh. Sorry, my butt's falling asleep."

"Want me to move? "

"No, no. Stay, it's fine."

She turns her attention back to the screen and continues watching the movie. I feel relieved that she didn't ask why my face was flushed or why I kept squeezing my thighs. But as the movie goes on and the sex scene doesn't seem to end. I look for the remote to skip past it when I notice movement under the blanket that's covering, pretty much just, Amanda. I look at Amanda's face and her cheeks are a bit red and her eyes are focused on the TV. I lift up the blanket trying not to alert her. There's just enough light for me to see that her hand is between her legs. I quickly put the blanket down and turn back to the movie. I can't focus on the movie anymore. All I can think about is what's happening under the covers. Just then I hear a moan escape from Amanda's lips.

"Shit." She says.

"Are you ok?" I ask.

"Yeah, just a cramp."

I can't help but chuckle at her reply.

"What? "She asks.

"Nothing; do you need me to give you a massage?"

"No, no, I'll be fine."

We resume watching the movie, well, at least Amanda does. I'm completely distracted until I can't take it anymore and I slide my hand under the covers and placing it on top of hers. I feel her tense up and freeze. I take a deep breath and lean in close to her ear.

"Is this okay?" I ask.

"Yeah."

She says breathlessly. I guide her hand and move it along her crotch. She lets out a low moan and begins to rock her hips. I slowly remove her hand and move my fingers over her pussy. I can feel her heat through the fabric and the dampness. She continues to rock her hips as I stroke her.

I then move my hand up and slide it past the hem of her pajama pants.

"Oh."

She moans as my fingers slide along her core.

"Michelle." She whimpers.

"Yes princess? "

She doesn't answer, instead she lets out a loud moan and grips my thigh. I pull her underwear to the side as I begin to rub her in small circles, my fingers getting wet from her arousal.

I lean down and kissing her neck leaving a mark on her.

"Ah." She moans.

Even though I'm sucking on her skin I'm dying to taste her.

I pull away from her and sit her up as I slide off the couch onto my knees. Grabbing her by the hips I pull her closer to the edge of the couch hooking my fingers on her pajamas and panties and begin to pull them off. I look up at her and her eyes are full of desire.

"Lift your butt for me princess." I whisper.

She complies and I pull her clothes down her thighs and off her feet. I place her clothes on the armrest and return my attention to her pussy. I spread her legs and admire the sight in front of me.

"You're so beautiful." I say staring at her.

She looks away shyly.

"Hey, look at me."

She turns her head and locks eyes with me.

"I mean it. You're perfect and I want you to know that I love you, every bit of you. I just don't want you to feel self-conscious about anything. You're the most amazing woman I've ever met and the thought of not having you in my life is too painful."

Her eyes beginning to water.

"I love you."

"I-I love you too." She squeaks out.

I smile and give her a kiss on her inner thigh. I begin working my way up to her center peppering her with soft kisses. When I finally reach her center I place a soft kiss on her clit.

"Oh god." She grabs a pillow and places it on her face. I chuckle. I take my time teasing her with my tongue. Licking her folds and circling her clit. After a few minutes of teasing her she grabs a handful of my hair and pushes me deeper into her. I'm caught off guard as she begins to grind against my face. I let out a moan which causes her to shudder and wrap her legs around my head. I'm pinned between her thighs as she continues grinding against my tongue. My senses are overwhelmed with her scent and her taste. After a few minutes of this, her grip on my hair loosens and her legs fall from my shoulders.

"Oh god." She says breathlessly.

I spread her legs apart and begin eating her out.

She moans loudly and squirms beneath me.

"You taste amazing." I say in between licks. She lets out a whimper and grips the pillow harder. My tongue explores every inch of her, licking, sucking and kissing.

She cries out, her voice muffled by the pillow. I continue pleasuring her, occasionally looking up at her to make sure she's enjoying herself.

"Amanda, look at me baby." She pulls the pillow away from her face and looks down at me biting her lip.

"I want to see how much you are enjoying it." I say before resuming eating her out savoring her taste. She lets out another cry and squeezes her eyes shut as I insert a finger inside her. Her body trembles and her grip on the pillow tightens. I slowly start to curl my finger inside her, hitting her sweet spot while continuing to lick her. She's panting heavily, her breath hitches every time I thrust my finger into her.

"F-fuck, Michelle." She whimpers. Hearing her call out my name makes me shudder. I can feel her walls starting to clench around my finger and I know she's close. After a few more thrusts of my finger and a few more licks she arches her back and releases a high pitched moan that fills the house. She sits up, her whole body spasming as her orgasm hits. Her thighs clamp around my head having me choose between her pussy and my life of course I chose correctly and continue licking her through her orgasm slurping up her juices. Finally, her body relaxes and she falls back on the couch breathing heavily.

"Holy fuck." She breathes out.

I rest my head on her thighs and look at her, a satisfied grin spreads across my glistening face. She's flushed, her hair sticking to her face, her eyes are half closed and she's catching her breath. I crawl up to her and kiss her deeply.

"How are you feeling? " I ask.

"Mmmh."

I giggle and give her a soft kiss on the cheek.

"We should get you cleaned up."

"Okay."

I help her stand up and guide her to the bathroom. As she's washing up I grab her clothes and throw them in the laundry bin. I also get a change of clothes for myself and walk back to the bathroom where Amanda is waiting for me. I get undressed and shower with her. The warm water helps her relax even more and she looks absolutely content. I finish showering first and step out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around myself. I leave the bathroom and change into my night clothes, a satin nightgown and matching shorts. I'm drying my hair with a towel when Amanda comes out of the bathroom, she's wearing one of my t-shirts and her underwear.

"You look cute." I say walking towards her.

"Thanks." I place the towel on her head and start drying her hair.

"You don't have to do that."

"But I want to."

"Fine." she giggles.

I finish drying her hair and we climb into bed. I snuggle next to her and wrap my arm around her waist.

"Can I ask you something? "Anything."

"Was that...the first time we said I love you? "

"Oh. I'm not sure."

"Yeah. I don't remember if we ever said it."

"Well, either way, it's not the last time I'll say it."

"Me neither." I plant a kiss on her shoulder and squeeze her tighter.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We cuddle and kiss for a while until she falls asleep in my arms.