Chapter 20

There were many weekends in my life that would stand out in my memory as amazing, but none so idyllic and relaxing as the one I spent with Heather in Byron Bay.

The rented beach house was an aging mansion right on the sand, only a few minutes' walk from the city centre. We fell into bed early on Friday night, so we could wake up at the crack of dawn on Saturday and head for the farmer's markets on the beachfront. We bought baskets of organic grain bread, freshly caught seafood and vegetables grown to the sounds of classical music, then attired to a nearby vegan café, eating pesto on sour-dough for breakfast.

We swam in the ocean and napped for the rest of the day, then walked up to the iconic Byron Bay lighthouse for sunset. As we wandered back past the shops, Heather insisted we pick up a few bottles of wine, and then we grilled our marinated prawns on the back deck, talking about everything and nothing.

"So, what do you want, red or white?" Heather had ducked inside to grab forks and returned with bottles and glasses as well.

I wrinkled my nose. "I'm not really drinking much at the moment, but I'll have a small glass of whatever you have."

"White to match the seafood." She poured two glasses, making one significantly larger than the other. She slid the smaller one towards me, while I tilted my head, trying to figure something out.

"You know, I don't think I've ever actually seen you drink anything before..." I processed a dozen moments in my head from her ordering history: non-alcoholic cider, lime and soda, juice, mineral water – I couldn't remember a single time she'd actually consumed something alcoholic. I'd simply been too wrapped up in my own dramas to pay attention. "Heather, is every okay?"

She sipped deeply from her glass before sinking back into the sling chair. "Ah... That's good. God, you miss it when you can't have it."

"Can't?"

"Well, can't is the wrong word, I just choose not to, well, chose not to." She rubbed her belly pensively. "We really don't have to get into this."

Sensing something deep, I pushed my plate away and swapped to the chair closest to hers. "We don't have to. You're my friend and I want to. In fact, you're probably my best friend. So, please, tell me, what's going on?"

"It's not really a big deal." She rolled her eyes to the heavens, as if searching for the right words. "So, Andie and I decided to have a baby this year. She's wanted kids for years, actually; she's the maternal one in our relationship and she's always dreamed about being pregnant, but she has severe endometriosis. It broke her heart, but we've got a way better chance of conceiving if I carry the baby."

She shrugged her shoulders a little, as if to convince herself of the unimportance of the subject. "We've had the perfect donor lined up for ages, a mutual friend who is smart and gorgeous and sweet, and our finances are stable, and we're not getting any younger. So, I was artificially inseminated just before fashion week."

"Heather... You've been pregnant this entire time?"

"No, not pregnant, just inseminated." Her ever-present smile was only as little mournful as she said, "But, it didn't take. I got my period last week while we were in Sydney."

"Oh my God... I'm so sorry." I folded my hand over hers.

"It's okay, seriously. It was our first attempt, so I can't be too upset, you know?"

"You allowed to feel sad, though, you know that, right?"

Her amber eyes glistened a little. "I know. Thanks."

"Have you told Andie yet?"

"No. I know I should, but I really want to do it in person when I get home on Friday."

I had to tread carefully; it wasn't my place to push. "Are you sure, lovely? You can call her now, or just head home. Honestly, I'll be fine."

She reached forward and grabbed a prawn from the plate, chewing it thoughtfully. "No. Maybe that choice makes me awful, but the news isn't going to change between now and Friday; she'll be just as upset then as she would be now. And I know there'll be a certain amount of blame directed at me. Am I a coward if I just want to avoid all that angst for a few more days?"

I thought of all the pain avoidance I'd done over the years, and in comparison, Heather's was far more justified. "Not at all. But why would Andie blame you?"

"Because she wanted me to stay home. Her idea of trying for a baby is all 19th century: me, confined to a bed in a dark room, eating liver pie while embroidering something."

"Sounds like fun."

"I know, right?" Heather looked torn between amusement and frustration. "I told her that I wasn't going to sit around the house for five weeks, waiting to pee on a stick and listening to her ask me if I was feeling okay every two minutes. So, I took this job with you."

That explains a lot... Now, I understood Andie's aggressive attitude towards me; it was easier to be mad at me than Heather. It was never about the missed work opportunities, or the cash, or my relative celebrity to the rest of her clients. It was the simple fact that Heather had chosen to go. "I'm so sorry, my friend."

"Why? Don't be!" She reached for my hand and leaned her head on my shoulder. "It's not you or this job that caused the insemination to fail; that's just the odds. Besides, I wouldn't have changed this last month for anything."

"But I had no idea! You've been dealing with all my angst and stupidity, and this whole time, I should have been bringing you tea and rubbing your feet."

"You gave me exactly what I needed; something else to focus on. Andie and I will try again in a month, life will go on. It's not what happens to us – it's how we deal with it."

I squeezed her fingers tight. "I think you're magnificent."

"I think we should eat."

Just as we reached for the food, something else occurred to me. "Wait – if you were potentially going to be pregnant, was your whole cosmetic surgery appointment just to mess with me?"

"Oh no." She gave me the smallest of winks as she popped a perfect cube of avocado in her mouth. "I want big cans; always have, always will. Maybe I can't get them done in a month, but I told Andie as soon as the baby is out and I finish breast feeding, I'm going back to see Dr Blake."

"Not the massive ones though, right?" My voice was high as I pleaded.

"Maybe..."

"Heather!"

"Fine, fine, C-cups it is." She hooked a finger on the neck of her loose tee, speaking down her shirt to her breasts. "Do you hear that, girls? You're going to be C's! Are you excited?"

I giggled, not finding anything weird about her speaking to her body parts; after all, mine spoke to me all the time. I let the topic go, and we feasted on chunks of our market bread topped with feta and prawns, allowing the warm tropical night lull us both into a state of contentment, despite the awaiting world.

After a Sunday sleep-in, we walked back into town, headed for the pub for lunch. As I stepped up the incline of the main street, I took a moment to compare the angle with the one up to the picnic spot at Coogee. They were similar, and I blinked in surprise as I noticed the difference between climbing the two slopes, only a month or so apart: I wasn't breathing hard or sweating, and my thighs didn't tremble. Instead, I felt a wonderful lightness as I walked over the curve of the hill with my friend.

It's all because of her. Heather's constant line-up of incidental exercise and healthy food had changed me from a slothful sad-sack to a hopeful, energetic, independent woman. Turning to Heather, I hugged her.

Surprised, she embraced me back. "What was that for?"

"Oh, nothing. Just changing my life."

"That's what I do."

"No, really. I don't know why you wanted to work with me, but honestly, Heather, I'm a better person because I met you."

She shrugged shyly. "I get a feeling about people, a little twitch when I know I can really help someone. I've been watching you on Jump Start for ages, and, this'll sound weird, but I could see into your soul. That's a girl who needs a friend like me, I thought to myself. When I saw you announce this trip, I called your producer and badgered him into putting me on as your assistant."

I was blown away. "You were right; I did need a friend like you, and I needed a big kick up the butt to sort myself you. Thank you."

We were both a little teary as she responded, "You're so welcome."

Two women crying and hugging on the street didn't seem to be anything unusual in Byron; no one paid us any attention as we walked on, arm in arm. "Hey, look!" I said, pointing out a shop I hadn't seen before. "Can we go in there?"

"Sure!"

The Crystal Cave was a tiny store with geodes and amethyst alighting the windows, and a thousand twinkling gems strung from the ceiling. We wandered between the shelves, gasping and making girly 'ooo' noises as we admired the gorgeously crafted wares.

"I want to get something for Matt, but now I'm here, I want something for me too..." I studied a card, showing the different properties of at least twenty different types of crystal. "I just don't know how to decide!"

"Citrine," said Heather, with the authority of someone who knew what she was talking about. She glanced about, finding a set of shelves decorated with dozens of pale yellow stones. "Here."

I read the small placard out loud. "'Citrine; the positivity stone. Enhances confidence and will power. Helps eliminate fears of being judged and fear of being alone or unworthy of love.' Hell, I'll take twenty."

"It's a happy stone," said Heather, lifting a pedant off the stand. "It's good for overcoming emotional trauma and grief. It's great for depression and anger too. Mostly, it's just a stone all about the positive – about living a life of yes."

As she looped the necklace over my head, I immediately knew it was coming home with me. It was a silver half-moon, with a rough-cut citrine crystal suspended in the middle. "I love it."

Heather crouched down, searching the lower shelves. "The moon is feminine, so let's see if we can find something for Matt... Ah ha!" She popped her head up, grinning and bearing a brown leather bracelet. The charm was a golden sun with a citrine stone set inside, both masculine and powerful.

"You're really good at this," I said, lifting the jewellery reverently from her. "This is something special. I think I'll give it to him the day I'm ready to start our relationship."

"Perfect. It can be your little secret until then. That'll be nice because after all the texting and emailing and calling you guys have been doing, you couldn't have much left to surprise him with."

We headed for the counter to pay. "Well... He still doesn't know about my tatt yet."

"What? How is that possible? You guys were quite the nudie-bums together the other day from what I hear."

I blushed as I quickly handed cash to the white-haired lady behind the counter, who simply winked and dropped both pieces into a brown paper bag. "Thank you," I told her, then whispered to Heather on the way out, "Because, we were kinda busy, and he didn't even notice the Band-Aid on my hip. I'm happy about that actually; no one has seen it yet, but I want you to be the first."

"Me?" Heater fanned herself dramatically with her gigantic sun hat. "Why, I don't know what to say! I'm honoured!"

"I'll show you on Friday. Most of the swelling is gone now, it should look awesome by then."

We continued our amble down the street, smiling and nodding at the other Sunday strollers, enjoying the glorious sunshine and good Bryon vibes. A Japanese mum with two little kids passed us, one little girl with tiny pig-tails like water spray, and an even smaller boy who toddled adorably on tan legs.

"They're so cute," I said to the mother as she passed.

"Thank you!"

Heather stared just a little longer after them. I looped my arm through hers. "That'll be you in a few years."

"I hope so."

"I know so." We headed for the beach. "So, do you want a girl or a boy?"

She blinked at the question, then eased into it. "I feel like I should say a girl, because then it will be the three of us ladies together, but I'm actually a bit of a tomboy. A little boy to run around would be awesome. Honestly, I don't care. I just want the chance to be a mum."

"You and Andie will be amazing," I told her, meaning it. Andie would be the fierce lioness, ensuring that their child would hit every marker, and Heather would be fun and open and happy; the perfect blend of parenting.

I wonder what kind of dad Matt would be? Does he even want kids? And how many, if he does? So much still to discover about him. I hugged myself in joy, happy to have questions still to ask, without being desperate to ask them.

We turned into the beach-front bar, where we wasted many happy hours playing pool with Norwegian backpackers and drinking guava juice, occasionally mixed with vodka. As the sun went down, the karaoke mics were switched on, and we both sang Spice Girls' greatest hits, without needing to be rotten drunk to do it.

Back at the house, Heather and I jumped into the hot tub on our back deck, enjoying the soft night air and a final relaxation.

"You should probably give Matt a call before you turn in; next week is a no-phone zone, and he'll still be on the air in the morning when we go."

"And, where, pray tell, are we going?"

The gap between her teeth winked at me as she grinned widely. "No way, sister. You don't even get a clue on this one. I can't wait to see the look on your face when we get there."

I floated a leg towards her and poked her in the side with my toes. "You don't scare me, lady. So far this trip, I've watched a manky boob get lopped off, tattooed a tongue on a guy, seen someone snort coke on a Monday morning, and been inside a truck the size of a two-story house. I say, bring it on!"

"Let's see what you say tomorrow, then." Yawning, Heather stood, stretching her lanky arms high, water cascading off her toned lines. "I'm turning in – I'll need to call Andie too."

"Are you sure you don't want to tell her?"

"I'm sure. In person will be better for both of us."

I didn't try to change her mind; she'd been in a relationship for years, while I hadn't managed to go on a single official date with Matt yet. She was far more knowledgeable about what would work or what wouldn't when it came to her partner.

Her smile brightened again as she said, "I'm pretty excited about this week – I really want to enjoy it with you."

I stood to join her. "I'm glad you're staying with me; I don't care what we're doing, but if we're together, that's the best way to end this whole crazy adventure." Bravely, I looked into her beautiful eyes and said, "I love you, Heather."

"Love you too, Evi." We hugged in the spa, dripping wet and completely content.

"What do you think Andie would say if she saw you in your bikini declaring love for another woman?"

"Since you don't like va-jay-jay nearly as much as her, I don't think she'd be threatened. Still, I should go ring before it gets too late. See you in the morning!" She gave me one last squeeze, then hurdled out of the tub, wrapped herself in a towel and headed for her room.

Feeling so relaxed I might have simply dissolved into the boiling water around me, I leaned over the edge and fished around for my phone.

He answered immediately, sounding sleepy. "Hey, you. I hoped you'd call; I'm nearly asleep."

"Hey. I won't keep you up long, I just wanted to check in, 'cause I'm not allowed my phone next week, apparently."

"Still no idea where you're going?"

"Nope. How was your weekend?"

"Boring. Just hanging out, thinking about you. Yours?"

"Incredible. It's all Heather, she's like a miracle worker. I can't believe you haven't officially met her yet. Maybe when I get back, we can take a trip to Melbourne?"

"A romantic couple-type trip? The Lion King is playing, we can do a day trip up to the Yarra Valley, maybe lie around the Botanic gardens, canoodling and feeding the ducks..."

I felt a massive grin tug my lips towards my ears. "That sounds amazing."

He yawned happily. "I'll take that as a hard maybe. I love you, Evianna; only one more week and you'll be back beside me on the desk."

And maybe beside you in other places too; I pictured us side-by-side at family dinners, holding hands at special events, sharing a bed. There was so much more to come, and much as I wasn't ready to rush into everything, knowing that it was all there waiting for me gave me a sense of peace like I'd never experienced. "One week. Go to sleep, my Knight; rest easy."

"Good night, beautiful."

"'Night."

I hung up, feeling his absence as I stared up at the starry sky, but not torn apart by it. I lay in the spa for another hour, contemplating everything I'd learned in the last five weeks and everything still to come. As I eased up and transitioned towards bed, I realised I'd finally become what I'd never thought I'd be; happy on my own.

***

We rocked and rolled the hired soft-top Jeep down the rough back road. As the ancient vehicle hit yet another cavernous pothole, we both dropped hard onto the thread-bare seats. "Oof! That was a good one!"

I rubbed my sit bones. "Sure was. I think my butt is going to look like a bruised banana."

We'd driven about twenty minutes along the Byron Bay coastline before turning down the narrow, unmarked trail. While Heather drove, jamming the rusty gearstick up and down, I observed the beauty of the bush around us. The majestic eucalyptus trees soared above us, scattering the sunlight in dappled patterns on our skin. With the top of the Jeep down, the smell of the gum trees and the dirt and the ocean all blended into a cleansing mix of nature, and I breathed deeply, drawing the fresh air into my lungs.

As we turned a sharp corner, we were confronted with a six foot high fence. Heather slammed on the brakes and the Jeep shuddered to a halt. "We're here!"

She leapt from the car and skipped over to the gate. A foreboding sign read, 'NO ENTRY – private property patrolled by guard dogs.'

"Uh, lady? Are you sure this is the right place?"

Heather leaned down and rolled the numbers on the combination padlock. Concentrating, her lips were sucked in. Pop! The lock fell free into her hand and she swung the gate wide. "I'm sure!"

We drove through slowly, stopping to relock the gate, and then pushed on into the dense bush. I'd been bluffing the night before, telling Heather that nothing could surprise me anymore. Two girls driving deep into a locked and guarded property felt like the start of a B-grade horror movie.

As we rounded a final curve, the bush fell away, opening up the view over a wide field and away to the ocean. "Oh! Pretty! What are the buildings?"

A dozen or so wooden cabins painted a bright aqua clustered around a larger building, with a wide sprawling deck covered in hammocks and sling chairs. I could see an infinity pool, a volley ball court and a massive bonfire pit surrounded by log seating. "This is a camp?"

Heather grinned. "A very special camp." She waved at the sign above our heads. 'Kaivalya Retreat – parking this way.'

We followed the sign and parked the jeep next to an interesting mix of other vehicles: a Range Rover, a vintage Torana, a silver Audi TT, a shiny Prius, a restored VW Combi. Following Heather's instructions, I left my phone and laptop in the car as we flipped up the roof and locked the doors. Considering the company surrounding our tragic soft-top, I wasn't too worried about anyone breaking in.

Dragging our suitcases down the hill, I observed the empty grounds. "Where is everybody?"

"The owners told me there's an early morning hike, then they all practice yoga for a few hours at the bungalow." Heather pointed to another wooden building, open to the sea view, but the interior hidden from us.

"So, this is like one of those exclusive health retreats?" I'd heard about the boutique resorts dotted around the Byron surrounds. "Oh my God, is this the one Hugh Jackman owns?"

"You wish." Heather bounced on her toes excitedly as we reached the main building. "Here's the owners now!"

My eyes had been on the steps as we climbed up to the deck, and as I raised them, I ground to a stop, utterly flabbergasted by the sight of the couple who walked towards us.

They were both incredibly healthy looking, with glowing skin and radiant smiles. The woman had a glorious mane of silver hair, braided against her head and trailing down her back, while the man who held her hand sported salt-and-pepper locks. Despite their obvious age, they shone with inner vitality and peace.

And, they were both buck naked.

"Welcome, Evianna! I'm Patty, and this is my husband, Joe. It's lovely to meet you, dear."

She moved towards me and kissed my cheek and her hubby shook my hand, and I tried to pretend like nothing out of the ordinary happening. "Hi. Hello. I'm Evianna. And, uh... you guys are... not dressed. Did we catch you at a bad time?"

Patty giggled like a young woman. "Oh, Heather, you didn't tell her?"

"Nope," said Heather, her voice nothing but mischief. "I thought I'd let you guys explain what this place is."

Joe spoke, his voice a gravelly rumble, instantly commanding and yet wonderfully soothing. "Evianna, this is Kaivalya. We're a naturalist retreat for those seeking freedom, grounding and health."

"Sorry, what... just what?"

He smiled kindly. "This is a nudist camp."

Oh my goodness, I've been looking forward to these chapters since I started planning Evi's journey!  Her biggest challenge yet.  We are going to have fun, oh yes :)

As usual, all comments are welcome - do you believe Evi will be ready to start seeing Matt when she gets home?  Will she embrace the naturalist spirit?  Does Andie's attitude make a little more sense?  Have you ever bought a crystal before?

Thanks so much in advance - you, wonderful reader, are the reason I keep clicking at the keys, so thank you, a million times, thank you.  Please remember to vote for this chapter!  Only a few curves left to go now...  xxoo Kate