chapter 9

I just stared down at her. Now what, I just leave and never come back here? Turning around, I

walk out in a daze, almost robotic. When I stepped into the blue corridor, Sally tried to grab my

hand, but I pulled away from her touch. I didn't want to be touched; I knew I would break. I was

nearly to the end of the corridor when Tobias stepped into my view. I don't know what he saw on

my face, but he tried to reach for me. I quickly stepped out of his reach. What is it with everyone

and trying to touch me? I will not break; I will certainly not break in front of anyone. Tears are

weakness. I am not weak. My mother didn't raise a weakling.

I kept walking, I could hear people talking to me, I could hear Sally calling after me, but I just

ignored them and kept on walking. I walked out of the hospital doors. My phone started vibrating in

my bag that was slung over my shoulder. Ignoring it, I walked to the park across the road. I sat on

the park bench; it was now dark. The stars were shining brightly down on me, the trees swaying in

the wind. The night was cold and silent, the only noise I could hear was the beating of my own

heart, which I was sure was broken beyond repair.

I felt absolutely nothing. I was completely numb, and I prayed I stayed that way. I didn't want to

know what this pain was going to feel like. The wind was moving through my hair at rapid speeds,

drops of rain were hitting my skin, I couldn't feel their coldness, I couldn't feel the sting of the wind

on my skin. For the first time in my life, I didn't know what my next move was, I didn't have a plan. I

realised I was in denial this entire time because I never planned past this point. I knew this time

would come but I don't think I believed she would ever actually be gone. So instead, I let the rain

fall drenching me where I sat. I didn't know what else to do, I had somehow made myself believe

that she would pull through, even though my mind knew she wasn’t coming back.

At some point I walked back to my car. I noticed Tom had left the car park door up slightly. He

must have realised I wasn't in my car. I walked up to my car and popped the boot, grabbing a

bottle. I popped the cap and started gulping the vodka down. I just wanted to go to sleep and try

and forget about this day, or maybe wake up to find this was all just a nightmare, one I was just

having trouble waking from. Only I knew it wasn't, it hurt too much, and you don't feel pain in

dreams.

Getting into my car, I grabbed my duvet off the back seat and wrapped it around myself,

seeking comfort in its warmth. I couldn't be bothered taking my wet clothes off, right now it just

seemed like too much effort. After a while and a few more mouthfuls of my bottle of jet fuel, I

slipped into the darkness of sleep.

The next morning, I awoke in my cramped car, my neck twisted in an awkward position against the

centre console. Twisting my neck and stretching the sore muscles, I rubbed the aching spot before

sitting up to the sound of tapping on my driver's side window. Squinting I could just make out Tom

standing outside with a coffee in hand and concern etched on his face.

Jumping up quickly I grabbed my phone. Shit, I slept through my alarm. Tom motioned his

hand to the bonnet where he placed my coffee. “I will meet you at the ramp, kiddo.”

I nodded. Getting up, I quickly raced to the boot and rummaged through, trying to find

something decent to wear. I stunk heavily of vodka. I just wanted to sleep last night, and downed

god knows how much till I passed out completely.

The memories of my mother painfully came back to me, but instead I shoved them aside,

refusing to think of the shitstorm that has become my life. Finding a passable blouse, I smoothed it

out as best I could and chucked my blazer over the top. Quickly ripping the hairbrush through my

tangled hair. I clambered out of the car and stuffed my feet into my shoes while hopping on one

foot and trying to walk to the bonnet of my car at the same time.

I grabbed the coffee off the bonnet and started jogging down the ramp towards Tom, who was

waiting patiently for me next to the entrance doors. I quickly looked at my phone. I had ten minutes

before my bosses arrived.

“Rough night, darl? That's the first time I've ever seen you sleep in.”

“Yeah, it was pretty rough, thanks for waking me,” I mumbled sipping my coffee. Tom walked

me to the elevator before going about his duties. Once the doors binged open, I raced over to the

bathroom and did a quick rush job of my make up. My face was puffy, and I looked like shit. No, I

looked hung over with my bloodshot eyes and pale complexion. A slow ache was starting to make

its way up to my eyes, deciding to sit directly at my temple. I knew the aftermath of drinking that

much would have consequences, but I was prepared.

Once finished I quickly went to my bag and retrieved 3 Panadol and three Nurofen Zavance. I

downed them with a glass of water. Mum's secret remedy for hangovers besides greasy food. I

smiled at remembering her before my smile turned to a frown. I would never see her face again, let

alone hear her endless advice, even the silly advice like how to avoid the morning hangover. I was

shoved out of my sadness by the bing of the elevator.

Tobias and Theo stepped out. Their faces held shock upon seeing me. I remembered I still

hadn't made the morning coffee. I apologised realising my mistake before racing to the kitchenette

and making the coffee. Theo popped his head into the small kitchen door.

“Sorry I was a bit rushed for time this morning. I'm making them now,” I sputtered out,

concentrating on the task at hand. When I didn't hear a response, I turned to see if he was still

there. He was but now shadowed by Tobias. I gulped, my mouth suddenly feeling like a desert. I

suddenly remembered seeing him when I was leaving the hospital. I was rude and had ignored him.

Can't I catch a break? Seriously I don't feel like being scolded right now. Ignoring them, I finished

making the coffees before spinning around and handing mugs to them. Theo looked shocked while

Tobias’ face was unreadable. Pity maybe? I wasn't sure.

“You don't have to be here; you can go home if you like.” Tobias voice was soft. I sighed,

relieved I didn't have to come up with some excuse as to why I ignored him and ran from him last

night. I wonder why he was there anyway.

“Why would I do that?” I asked, confused. Didn't they want me here?

“We don't expect you to work the day after your mother passes. If you need time off, we

understand. We can manage on our own, Imogen.” Tobias seemed worried. Why he of all people

would interfere in my life was beyond me. It's not like we are all friends and catch up for drinks after

work. I barely know them. I never chat or talk to them outside business hours, I never pry into their

lives, and they don't ask about mine. All of sudden they think they can have some input? I don't

need their pity; I just need to be left alone.

Theo sniffed the air slightly before cocking his head to the side, studying me from head to toe. I

was well aware that I smelt like I was dipped in vodka. Walking past them, I grabbed my perfume

from my handbag and sprayed myself, completely ignoring them. Like seriously where would I go?

Hang out in the carpark all day. To the park, maybe my storage shed? Yeah, having time off is the

last thing I need.

Theo placed a cup on the edge of my desk, it was his coffee. “Drink this, I will make another.”

I went to get up and stop him, seeing as it technically was my job to be the coffee bitch. But

one look from Tobias made me shrink back down in my seat. Tobias sat on the edge of my desk; his

hand reached out to grab mine, but I pulled away. Hurt shone in his eyes but he quickly masked it.

Why would he feel hurt? His reaction seemed a little out of place, considering I was his secretary not

his friend.

“Are you okay?" he asked.

I will be if people stop trying to touch me. Knowing I couldn't say that, I simply nodded while

turning the phones over to take them off voicemail. Tobias got up and walked to his office. The day

went by quickly, and neither one of them asked me to do anything all day, so I remained at my desk

answering calls. I wanted the distraction, a task, anything instead of being left to my own thoughts.

I was relieved when Theo finally came out and placed some files on my desk. I looked at the

pile, welcoming the distraction. It was later than I thought, when I finally I finished sorting the

documents into their allocated files, everyone had left for the day. Needing to retrieve another

change of clothes, I decided to take the twenty-minute walk to my storage shed.

I needed to be back by 9:00PM. It was 7:30 now, so I still had an hour and a half, plenty of time

to get there and back. Ducking out to my car, I quickly grabbed the storage locker key from the

glove compartment, along with the empty vodka and tequila bottles. I planned to discard them on

the way.

As I was making my way down to the bottom floor, I had this overwhelming feeling like I was

being watched. Walking faster, I made my way outside walking up the “in” ramp. As soon as I was

outside, I tossed the bag of empty bottles into the trash for the bin man to collect tomorrow.

The skyrise I worked at was in the outskirts of the city, which was convenient for me. Everything

was at my fingertips so to speak. My storage locker was two blocks from where I was now. Next to

the skyrise is a park that leads into a small bushland area. I like to walk through it. The park was a

shortcut to my storage locker. It was also where a lot of people had picnics and hung around.

Cutting through the trees, I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. It was dark out

already. I usually didn't come through here of a night, but I didn't have time to walk the long way.

Shaking off the feeling, I continued walking. The moon was my only light, the shadows in the trees

were starting to spook me. I swear I seen something move between the trees. Picking up my pace, I

followed the path that led towards the industrial area. After about five minutes, I was deep amongst

the trees when I heard a growl coming from behind me.000O00000