𝕺𝖓𝖊 𝕾𝖚𝖓𝖉𝖆𝖞

รɦαω

"Are you listening to me?" Sebastian asks.

"Uh-huh," I mumble.

I am hardly listening to anything my little brother is saying. I am far too busy staring at my phone. As if my hard stare would make Riel answer my messages any faster.

Sebastian continues talking."Gwen says the event planners are coming to look at house in an hour."

"Uh-huh," I whisper.

I don't understand why Riel is taking so long to reply to my texts. He must know that a day off doesn't mean he should ignore his boss.

Riel responses to my messages with his usual wisecracking. He doesn't even know that he is the only person I let talk to me like he does.

I wonder what he does when he isn't working. I just hope he doesn't have a man in his life other than me.

"Shaw," my brother snaps."You're not listening to me."

"Sebastian, I don't care to help with your engagement party. Leave me alone."

I am seriously reconsidering my decision to let my brother use my house as the venue for his engagement party.

I didn't care for him constantly pestering me with updates on the likes and dislikes of his fiancée.

"Of course," he groans,"you don't."

I have never seen a man involved in planning his wedding than my brother.

"Seabass, leave the planning to Gwen and the professionals." I tell him.

"Fine," he exhales."So, um, when are you and Mallory planning to have your wedding?"

"Soon." I reply.

"How soon?" He asks.

"Soon." I tell him

Sebastian like everyone else in my family has no clue about my and Mallory's relationship ending seven years ago.

"It's has almost been eight years since your engagement party," he considers."You guys should've been married by now."

Mallory's secret isn't mine to share. So, I can't tell anyone why we aren't going to get married.

"I am aware of how long it's been." I retort.

"And?" Sebastian urges.

"And nothing," I say.

"You're cold," he curses."You say you love Mallory, yet you aren't the least bit excited about getting married to her. She deserves better."

"Uhm . . . " I mutter.

"Uhm? That's your response? Do you even care about anything other your company and money?" Sebastian yells at me.

"Don't you have anything better to do than annoying me?" I ask behind clenched teeth.

"Whatever," he hisses."If you want to grow old and alone, that's your damn business." He angrily slams the door on his way out of the room.

Within the next hour, my brother and his fiancée are out the lawn I play croquet, taking engagement photos.

"They're the prefect couple," Mallory who hasn't answered any of my calls or texts for two-three weeks now, steps out of the house behind me.

I hold her by the wrist and pull her into house, sliding the door close behind us so my brother and her sister wouldn't hear us.

"Why aren't you answering my calls or texts?" I ask her.

"Why should I?"she agrues."When you made it clear that you want nothing to do with me."

"I never said that Mallory and you know it." I snap at her.

Mallory crosses her arms - ignoring my eyes when she says,"You might've as well havr."

"But, I didn't . . ." I tell her.

"Well . . . I don't want anything to do with you."She scoffs.

"You're at my house," I hiss."You can't ignore me."

She lifts her eyes up at me, seeming shocked at something.

"You never call it that before," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"You never referred to this house as your house before it has always been our house. You must really not care about me anymore." Mallory says quietly.

"Don't say that," I shout." Of course, I care about you."

Mallory starts crying."I wish, I wasn't like this,"she sobs."I wish, I was like my sister. She doesn't have worry about our family casting her off."

"You don't have be like your sister," I tell her."And your family would be stupid to disown you."

She frightens me with a hug.

"I shouldn't have string you along all those years we were together." She sobs."I am such an awful person."

"You're not," I reassure her."And I am your family. I'll never cast you off."

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

"So, I think the wedding should be in Newport or Lake Como." Gwen shares between sips of tea.

"Sounds good," Mallory smiles.

"And Mallory you should really start planning your and Shaw's wedding before grandpa has a stroke." Gwen orders her sister.

"I-I- I . . . " Mallory hesitates.

I reach out and gently clasp Mallory's hands under the table, to stop her from getting flustered.

"Gwen," I chime in."Tell Richard not to worry. Mallory has been planning our wedding since she was ten."

My brother laughs."Your grandpa has nothing to worry about, Gwen. I am certain Mallory has the best wedding planners on retainer."

"Will you two let her answer?" Gwen sighs."You guys have no idea what it takes to plan - " Gwen's voice trails off and I follow her gaze to the figure making a purposeful walk up to the bridge to get to the house.

All day, I had been hoping to catch a glimpse of him, and I would hear my heart happily beating that he's here.

I really didn't want Gwen, Mallory or my brother to still be here when Riel arrived but they didn't pick on the hint that they were unwanted guests.

"Who's that?" Mallory asks.

"I have no idea," Gwen replies.

Sebastian turn in his seat to see who the sisters are talking about.

"Shaw, you couldn't have give Riel the weekend off?" Sebastian asks in an annoyed voice.

"I am confused," Gwen says." Who's Riel?"

"Riel is Shaw's assistant, who he has been torturing ever since the poor kid started working for him." He answers.

"I haven't been torturing him." I snap at Sebastian.

"He has a very boyish model off duty look about him." Gwen considers.

Riel finally makes it up to where the group of us is sitting.

"Hi," he waves at the others. He turns to meet my gaze."Afternoon, sir."

I give him a once over, it's first time I have seen him out of his usual smart casual attire.

"Did you forget that you're coming to work?" I ask him."Why are you in such casual clothes ?"

"It's a Sunday," he sighs."We aren't in the office and my clothes won't have any impact on the efficiency of my work."

It certainly won't have any impact on him, but I am not so fortunate. How will I focus on being his boss when the only thought that'll be occupying my mind is how prefect he would look on my arm?

"Fine," I say." You shoud remember where the library is . . . Wait on me there, I'll join you in a minute."

"Okay, sir." He nods. Riel goes to step inside the house when Mallory calls out to him.

"Riel," she calls."Sit with us for a bit."

Gwen pats her a seat for him to sit in between them. Riel raises a skeptical brow at the two sisters. He looks at as if asking for approval.

"I can't," he says."I am just here to work."

"Shaw, won't mind." Mallory says. "Won't you? honey," she circles her arm around mine.

I hate it.

Riel is the one person who I couldn't pretend in front of . . . I want him to know that I'm free man and that he could have me if he wanted.

I wrest my arm from Mallory's grasp.

I want to help her find a way to get her inheritance but also I find myself resenting her.

I can't believe it.

I was so sure, that there wouldn't be someone that I could fall in love with that I already lost Riel before finding out if there is any chance he could love me.

"Riel is here to do his work not to sit around for idle chit-chat." I inform her.

Sebastian scoffs but he doesn't stays quiet. I know my brother and I know that he's starting to be suspicious of me and Mallory.

"Fine," Mallory shrugs.

"I am going, now . . ." Riel makes his way into the house.

"Do you think he bathes in honey to get his skin to glow like that?"Gwen asks."Or he just won at genetics?"

"Maybe both," Mallory spectaculates.

I stand up, eager to join Riel in the library.

He's sitting inside, skipping pages in a magazine.

"What are you reading about?" I ask, stretching my legs pass the door in the room.

He doesn't shift from his seat, and I am standing over him. Riel looks up at me.

"Nothing!" He tries hiding the copy of Fobres in his bag.

"I am not blind," I laugh."And you're not doing a very good of hiding the magazine." I take the magazine from him.

I read the title."He turned one dollar into five hundred million."

Riel's bright almond eyes stray from me."Go head," he sighs."Laugh if you want, it doesn't manner to me."

He can't think that ill of me.

"Why would I laugh?" I ask him.

"Forget it," he says.

"No, I won't forget it," I rage."I won't let you have that kind of image of me in your head . . . I won't let you think that I'd laugh at your ambitions."

There's suddenly a hollow ache in th my chest, my heart feels like it has been cracked up, vulnerable and raw.

I usually don't care what others think of me, but Riel does something to me that make me drop my guard. I care about his opinion of me. I don't want him to see me as mean and violent.

I want him to see me as . . .

Then it daunts on me that I want him to see me as a man that would be a good partner to him.

"Sorry," Riel says in a soft voice.

My ears perks up his apology.

"I haven't been around many people that are supportive of me," he shares in a sad voice."And in the moment, I took it out at you. I am sorry."

"I understand," I tell him."You don't have to apologize to me."

"No. I should," he says."Granted you can be very insensitive at times and you're also very scary but I think on the inside you're a teddy bear."

He puts all his honest thoughts about me out in the open.

"You're saying you think that I'm like a cuddly lovable toy?" I ask, ignoring the other things he said.

"N-No," he stammers."Of course not, you're my boss. I don't - can't think of you that way.

Riel flushes. He hasn't a single clue of how seeing such pretty emotions on his face affects me.

It would be so irrational of me to, but I can't shake the desire of wanting to lift him into my arms and keep him there for the rest of his days.

"But you just did . . . " I grin,". . .you compared me to a teddy bear."

"I-I misspoke," he gulps.

I am finding that I enjoy making him flustered.

I disagree with him."I don't think you did," I say. "Answer honestly," I urge him."Do you think there's a teddy bear under my harsh exterior?"

"Sir," he says in a melodic voice."You heard what I said. Please, don't force me to say it again. I don't want to feel embarrassed whenever I am around you."

"Fine . . . you don't have to answer," I relent. "But know, there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed around me."

I will the an answer from him soon

enough.

"Uhh, sir?" Riel mutters.

He's so respectful.

"Hmm?" I mumble, my resolve not to kiss to him weakens by the days.

"Sir?"

"Yes, ree-El ... Summers?" I sound out his first name but default to saying his last name instead.

I couldn't bring myself to call him by his first name. Not until it means  more than my employee's name. Not until it means that he's mine and I'm only so close to replacing his last name with mine.

"Mr. Harlow?" Riel mumbles.

"Yes?" I answer softly.

He is absolutely breathtaking. It only takes one look from him to freeze me in place.

"You're um," he hesitates."You're not letting me move."

I glance away from him, and realize we're no longer standing in the same spot as earlier. My gaze shifts to Riel again.

I stiffen.

We're in the most indelicate position.

I trace the arc of my extended arm to the hand that's above Riel's head and to my left hand that's at his waist as his whole body weighs down against the imposing bookshelf.

"How did this happen?" I question.

"Don't ask me," he mutters."You kept advancing towards me."

It wasn't deliberate.

I could not help being so mesmerized by him. I must have wandered to the rhythm of my heart rather than any conscious direction.

"I did?"

"You did," he answers, peering up at me.

I don't say anything for a long beat. I am too focused on how close I am to Riel. It's hurts to look at him but even more to look away.

If I look, I can't do anything but think how awfully empty my life is without him. I have no greater fear than the fear that Riel doesn't share the same feelings towards me as I do to him.

Does his heart beats a little faster when I am around? Does his palms get sweaty and a fluttering sensation fills his stomach whenever he thinks about me?

Because my heart beats a little faster, my palms get sweaty and a fluttering sensation fills my stomach whenever I think about him. And it kills me not knowing if the same things are happening to him.

If I look away, it's inconvicable that I would look away from him.

I rest my forehead against the spine of a thick book."What are you doing to me?" I ask Riel.

He puts a firm hand at my waist and pushes me away from him."What are you asking me?"

His touch linger pass the fabric of my shirt until it's against my flesh. I can feel his warmth coursing through my veins, making me feel alive in ways I never thought possible.

"You don't know?" I breath.

"No," Riel shakes his head.

He doesn't know anything.

I laugh, he's heedless to my affliction. An affliction that he's responsible for causing me. I had guarded my heart from love but he made it vulnerable to loving him for as long it beats.

"Could you be anymore obvious?" I ask him.

I reach out, brushing my palm softly, slowly along the back of his hand.

"Mr. Harlow," he says so sweetly.

"Keep quiet," I whisper. I don't know if I could hold back anymore."Don't say anything."

He doesn't understand what hearing his voice does to me.

Sir.

Mr. Harlow.

I've been called both by others. More than once. They did not - could not affect me. Yet the mere utterance of 'Sir; Mr. Harlow' from Riel, forces me to crave him in ways, that as his boss I shouldn't. It's a craving I cannot get rid of, and one I could kill another man for sharing.

I don't know for how long I'll be able to hold back from making him mine.

"Mr. Harlow," Riel gasps."You're not acting like yourself."

I chuckle.

"You're to blame," my fingers stray to his shoulder, tracing a path from the edge of his short sleeve to start of his wrist.

His skin is like warm silk under my fingertips.

"I am innocent," he smiles.

That smile.

Goodness, what must have gone into making his smile. It is unbelievable, anyone could be so breathtaking.

Riel continues to ramble,"maybe you fell on your head, I read that a severe blow to the head can cause serious changes in behavior."

"I didn't fall on my head," I agrue in a light tone.

"Liar," he whispers.

One of his hands moves up my head and into my hair, his palm weighing softly on my scalp.

"What are you doing?" I ask him.

"I am, um, checking if there's a bump on your head," he curls his hand out of my hair.

I catch his hand in mine, and bring the sweep of his fingers against my face.

"Was there?" my breath hitches.

"No," Riel gulps nervously.

He is so close to me.

I am somewhat even closer to him.

"Sir," Riel flushes,"We should really get to work."

"Yes," I agree."We should."

Neither of us motion to move. I stay tall over him, and he stays put under my heaving chest.

"Your hands are really soft," I touch my face closer to his warm palm.

Riel gasps, and his hand quickly falls to his side.

"They aren't that soft," he mumbles.

I reach down for his hands and give them a gentle squeeze."They are," I tell him in a more assertive tone.

"Yours aren't," he says.

"You're right," I chuckle,"they aren't."

I can't seem to convince myself to let go of his hands. Holding them is too prefect of a feeling to give up. I feel Riel stringing his thump over mine.

I think about gently tugging his arms around me and ... embracing him. It's so peaceful being in Riel's company. I have never felt like this with anyone before, I'd say not even with myself.

I don't understand it but Riel makes me extremely happy whenever he's around.

I shouldn't be feeling these things for him; he is my employee, he is almost twenty years younger than me.

But these feeling won't go away. And I can't make them go away . . . I don't want them to go away.

I lift our joined hands to my face and lean into his touch with a smile.

Riel marvels at me resting my cheek across the back of his hand. He says nothing in words but I see as his chin dips down into blush.

It's the most beautiful thing that I've ever witness in my life.

I stare patiently, admiring Riel. He is somehow even more radiant than a few seconds ago.

I could stay like this forever -

"Shaw?" Sebastian intrudes into the library."What's happening here?"

"Nothing," Riel twists his hand out of mine."Excuse me," he whispers to my brother as he quickly escapes out of the room.

Sebastian contemplates the image of Riel disappearing until he turns and raises a suspicious brow at me.

"What just happened?" He asks me.

"Nothing," I say in an even tone.

"You're lying," he argues."What were you doing to Riel?"

I turn my back at him."I wasn't doing anything to him," I hiss.

"I don't believe you," Sebastian yells.

"You must have been trying to scare him or bully him . . ."

"Not another word," I warn him."You don't know what are taking about."

"Oh really?" He scoffs.

"Yes," I groan."I was only helping Riel find his way around the library."

Sebastian frowns."No," he considers. "It wasn't that."

"What was it then?" I ask.

"I don't know yet," he admits."But I'll find out soon enough."

"Sure thing, Sherlock . . ." I scoff.

Before Sebastian could find a reason to suspect that I had not given Riel a tour, Mallory and Gwen crowd inside the library.

"What's happening here?" Gwen asks us.

"Nothing," I tell her.

"Sebastian?" Mallory signals for my brother to give his own answer.

"Nothing," he agrees."Just reminding Shaw not to overwork his assistant. It's a Sunday, after all."

Gwen tugs her fiance's arm. "Should I be jealous?" Gwen asks."You've never been this protective of a coworker before," she giggles.

"Don't worry . . . I only have eyes for you," Sebastian whispers to her."Not to mention, I am pretty sure Riel is already spoken for . . ."

Gwen playfully nudges his side but I don't share the appreciation for my brother's joke.

"Shut up!" I fling my fist against the desk, breaking off fragments of the wood at the edge in the process. "I don't want to hear any discussions about my assistant's personal life."

Sebastian scowls at me."What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I think we should go," Gwen voices in a nervous tone.

"Yes," Sebastian agrees."But not until, he gives us an apology."

"You won't get one," I tell him.

"You know what?" Sebastian frowns. "We're leaving. You're a killjoy. I have no idea why Mallory stays with you."

He takes Gwen's hand, leaving.

"Why did you have to get so angry at him?" Mallory sighs.

"He was talking about something he has no idea about," I reply.

"Sebastian was just making a joke," she says."You almost sound jealous that your assistant has a personal life."

Of course, I am jealous. But that not of Riel having a personal life but him having a personal life that includes a man that isn't me

"I am sure, they're gone by now. You don't have to pretend you live in this house with me." I say in blunt tone.

"Fine," Mallory shrugs."I will leave. I can never understand why you get easily temperamental."

I tsk, not minding her words.

She doesn't leave instead she moves aimlessly in a circle."About what you said today?"

I let out a low groan. "I am a man of my word. You should know better than anyone that I won't go back on my word."

She nods appreciatively. She doesn't watch her step for a second and the bag with Riel's belongings falls from the coffee table to ground.

"Whoops," she mumbles.

"Watch it!" I get up from my seat.

"It was an accident," Mallory sighs.

I stoop to the floor to catch the items that came spilling out of the bag.

"I think I might've found the secret to his glossy skin," she holds up a jar of African Shea butter that peeks out of the bag.

I take it out of her hands. "Leave it," I scold her."I will put everything back. You can go."

She scoffs a question."What are you so upset by?"

"I am not upset," I gruff. "I just don't like people touching his stuff."

"People?" She asks."You're acting like I am a stranger to you when we have known each other since we were in diapers."

Everything Mallory was saying seem to just fall out of my ears as I find a small bottle of cologne among Riel's things. The idea of the scent gives me thoughts of spending lazy afternoons with Riel tangled in my arms.

"Am I interrupting?" Riel's soft voice sneaks into the room.

He doesn't think Mallory and I are having a moment? Does he?

"No," I hastily blurt."There's nothing happening between us. NOTHING. She was actually just leaving. You're not interrupting." I gape, seconds away from revealing my fake relationship with Mallory to Riel.

Before I could expose the nature of our relationship, Mallory changes the subject.

"Shaw is just helping me pick up the stuff I accidentally knocked over. They're yours. It wasn't on purpose." Mallory explains to him.

"Oh . . . That's okay." Riel replies."I'll help." He reachs to the carpet and at the same time we both stretch for the plastic tube rolling under the table.