Chapter 40

(Her)

Rumors... I used to not listen, to not care about them. But that was before. Before I became the main character of one of them. Or even worse, two of them! Apparently depending on the person I’m either a bitch who plays hard to get or not a Luna material. This is why Ezra has not marked me yet in the second case.

I’m so absorbed in my own problems that I never thought about how my behavior was impacting the pack. I mean I’m supposed to be their future Luna. What kind of image I’m sending to them refusing their Alpha. I know nobody asked why we didn’t discover we were mates before Ezra went for his training or at the beginning of this year when he went back. The thing is I don’t even think about how all of this is impacting him and his image. Am I a selfish bicth?

“Hey, beautiful! I was looking for you?” Erza says on my back. He kisses my forehead before sitting in front of me. I’m sitting at the picnic table outside the university.

“Hey, what can I do for you?” I ask him, smiling.

“Something is bothering you. I can feel it through our bond. Did something happen?”

“No, not really... I don’t want to speak about it?” I reply.

“Okay... Anyway, my classes are over. Do you want me to wait for you until you finish your next lesson?” He asks me.

“You don’t have to. I’m sure you have more important things to do.”

“You are the most important thing to me.” He replies, making me smile.

“You’re so cheesy!” I tell him. Suddenly my smile drops.

" You’re so nice to me, while I’m just selfish!” I tell him.

“Where is that coming from?” He asks me.

“What do people think about the fact I hide from you for so long and that I still refuse to let you mark me?”

“I don’t care what people think. What is between us is private, they don’t need to know.”

“Still it could impact your reputation and my image as the future Luna. This is not good and it’s all my fault.” I explain.

“We’re not in a democracy, we are their leader whether they want it or not. And if someone is not happy with that he’s free to leave. I’ve forbidden everyone to ask questions about our mating because it’s personal and your past is difficult and painful and I don’t want you to feel forced to share it. Serving the pack as leaders will be great but will bring a lot of sacrifices. We will have to be the example in front of the pack members but what happens behind our closed doors are not their business. As for my mark, I can’t wait to see it on you but unlike the rest of us, you will have your first shift. And I still remember how scary it was and I was able to speak with my wolf who helped me through the change. You will meet her at the same time you will shift and she was locked for almost 15 years now. So I can only imagine how stressful it can be. Not to forget when I will mark you, that bastard will know you’re still alive. I don’t care what people say because they don’t know what is really going on. I wish our mating was simple but it’s not. And it’s complicated enough to also take into consideration what people think. I will wait as long as you need.” He replies.

“Why do you have to be so perfect?!” I comment rolling my eyes but not able to hide my huge smile.

I get up and sit on his lap to kiss him. After a few minutes, I stop and tell him: “Mark me!”

He growls: “No!”

“No?”

“No.” He confirms.

“You don’t want to mark me?” I ask, offended.

“Of course I’m dying to mark you. You’re just not ready. You only want to do it because of the rumors about us. I want you to want it as much as I want it. I want you to beg for it. I want it to be memorable not on a bench at the university and only to satisfy some gossip. It’s not what I want and you neither. Deep down you know that.”

I sigh: ” You’re right. But I’m paralyzed by my fear and I don’t know if I will ever be ready. I will be proud to bear your mark but it implies so many consequences that I don’t want to face. How will my wolf react? Will she be pissed? Will she forgive me? And him? I don’t want to feel the influence he will have on me.”

“I know but you’re not alone. You have me, your family, my family, my annoying Beta, our pack, and Asher, your Gamma, of course.” He says.

“Wait! You gave him back his position?”

“It was always his, wasn’t it? I didn’t really have the choice.Moreover you already presented him as your Gamma.”

I smile: ” No, not really but thank you! It’s very kind of you.”

“I will never be ready so mark me!”I tell him after a few minutes of silence.

“Nope, I don’t want you to do it for the wrong reasons.” He replies.

“Please, I’m begging you.”

“This is not going to work. You’re not convincing enough.” He replies.

“Maybe I’m more ready than you think. I mean I have these dreams...”

I felt him become rigid under me: ” What’s dreams?”

“hmmm...” I can feel that I’m blushing.

“What kind of dream?” He repeats.

I shrug: ” You know about you and me doing... You know what I mean.”

He smirks: ” No, I don’t. Can you develop?”

“Pfff! With the smirk on your face, you clearly know what kind of dream I’m speaking about.” I retort.

“No, I have no idea!” He denies still smirking.

I’m going to kill him. Details he wants, details he will have.

“You know this kind of dream where we start kissing innocently but where we finished in a full making out session where I run my fingers on your Hard abs and you let your hands wander over my tits, marking me moaning and wanting more... Begging for more, my soak pantry as proof of I’m ready for you. Ready to please you in any way you want.”

I’m blushing even more and I’m not comfortable speaking about that but the sharp breaths he took and his red face are worth it.

“Are you turned on? Are you hard for me, Alpha?” I whisper to his ear.

He growls and moves his hips, to make me feel that indeed he’s hard. It’s my turn to take a sharp breath.

“You’re killing me, beautiful! The things I want to do to you...” He says kissing my jaw and my neck, making me moan. He’s sucking my skin letting hickeys on my neck. When I feel his teeth lingering on my skin, I moan again.

“Please!” I beg.

“Tell me what you want, Liv!” He orders me.

Someone clears his throat in my back.

“I don’t think it’s the best place for doing that.” Alpha Elijah says making my blood run cold. We are caught by the Alpha. Gosh, this is so embarrassing! Kill me now!