Chapter 137: Who would’ve thought! Being dirty and skipping baths had such benefits!!! (2 / 2)

The Minister of Revenue was utterly bewildered and, fearing Xu Yanmiao might overhear, lowered his voice. “I… I’ve never even met his niece!”

The Minister of Public Works sneered. “Sometimes, you don’t need to meet her. Shameless old man.”

You just wait!

The Minister of Revenue: “…”

It’s Over. The Alliance Is Broken.

The Minister of War seized the opportunity to add fuel to the fire, slyly remarking, “If we don’t go to war, how will we create the conditions to recuperate and rebuild? Let’s not forget—the reason you’re all discussing this so-called ‘recuperation’ is because the Marquis of Yongchang is out there fighting Waguo.”

This remark was mainly directed at the emperor.

Your Majesty! The only reason we can talk about how to spend the gold and silver mines is because they were seized through warfare. You can’t just discard us when it’s convenient, only to grovel when you need us!

The old emperor was just about to ponder this when…

[Ah! My bad, I made a mistake!]

Even though no one could hear him, Xu Yanmiao instinctively apologized.

Suddenly, the emperor’s attention was completely diverted.

What mistake?

[Not the Minister of Revenue, it’s the Minister of War.]

The Minister of War: “What?!”

Why am I involved now?!

The moment he spoke, his right eyelid began twitching furiously.

Turning his head, he immediately saw the Minister of Public Works—a notorious doting father—glaring at him with murderous intent.

If the man had a weapon in hand, blood would surely have been spilled today.

“…”

The Minister of War started to feel uneasy and attempted to defuse the situation. “Uh… Yongnian, calm down. What if—what if it’s all a misunderstanding? Look at me… I’m not exactly young anymore. She might have mistaken me for someone else.”

—The Minister of Public Works, Jin Jingchang, courtesy name Yongnian.

Reluctantly, Jin Jingchang tried to convince himself. “You might be right, perhaps…”

[Let’s see how this connection started… Oh! The Minister of War has written many treatises on border defense. Jin Jingchang’s daughter, who has been passionate about martial arts since childhood, encountered his writings and was deeply inspired by their brilliance. She simply couldn’t help herself.]

Snap!

Jin Jingchang shattered the gold-inlaid jade belt at his waist with a single twist.

[Ah! But still…]

The Minister of War took two steps back. “Stay calm… stay calm…”

Meanwhile, the Minister of Revenue had never felt closer to narrowly escaping death than he did at this very moment.

The other ministers quickly stepped in, holding Jin Jingchang back by any means necessary— some grabbed his hands, others wrapped their arms around his waist.

“Brother Jin! Don’t act rashly; we can discuss this at length!”

“Brother Jin! It might not even be a case of youthful infatuation. It could simply be admiration for a talented individual! Isn’t niece fond of martial arts? Let’s find a group of seventeen or eighteen dashing, skilled young men to showcase their abilities in front of her. Surely niece will—”

Jin Jingchang, eyes red with anger, glared at the speaker. “My daughter is still young! She wouldn’t be interested in others!”

The minister holding him stumbled over his words and quickly corrected himself. “Yes, yes! Of course, she wouldn’t be! Niece merely enjoys challenging talented young men one by one. Once she’s busy with that, she won’t have time to care about a Minister of War she barely sees once in a lifetime!”

The Minister of Public Works began to consider the feasibility of this plan.

But before that—

“Get out of my way!!!”

He was determined to beat that shameless old man, who still exuded charm despite his age, into a pulp!

[Huh? What’s going on? What’s happening?] Xu Yanmiao craned his neck curiously, excited beyond measure. [A fight over uneven distribution of benefits?!]

When he saw it was the Minister of Public Works trying to single-handedly thrash the Minister of War, Xu Yanmiao blinked.

[…Huh?]

[If he’s this angry without knowing his daughter cried over the Minister of War, what will he do if he finds out?]

“I—”@@novelbin@@

The Minister of Justice, who was holding onto the Minister of Public Works’ waist, nearly cursed aloud. He stumbled back, clutching his own waist and grimacing in pain. “Jin Yongnian, this guy…”

He had just been shoved aside! Three ministers together couldn’t restrain him!

The Minister of War swallowed nervously, watching as the Minister of Public Works raised his arm. The sleeve of his official robe slid down, revealing well-toned forearm muscles. A single thought echoed in the Minister of War’s mind—

This is the end for me!

At this critical moment, Xu Yanmiao’s internal monologue arrived fashionably late—

[Then again, maybe the Minister of Public Works already knows his daughter no longer likes the Minister of War. He might not be as angry anymore?]

Seizing this opportunity, the Minister of War darted behind Xu Yanmiao, who was neither tall nor strong. The shock left Xu Yanmiao speechless as he turned to stare at the Minister of War in disbelief.

The Minister of War coughed awkwardly and stammered, “Little… Xu, let me hide behind you for a bit. I owe you one.”

And I’ll even forget all the times you called me a grim-faced man! Consider it settled!

Xu Yanmiao whispered, “Minister, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but… you’d be better off hiding behind the Marquis of Yangwu. There’s no way I can block Minister Jin.”

“You can! You can!” The Minister of War blurted out. Seeing Xu Yanmiao’s doubt, he quickly added, “He’s a man who values his reputation. He would never lose his composure in front of a low-ranking official like you. And don’t worry, he won’t come after you later either. He’d find it beneath him to hold a grudge against you.”

[Huh? Is that so?]

The Minister of War nodded vigorously as if trying to convince himself. “He values his reputation!”

Regardless of whether Jin Yongnian truly cared about his image, the Minister of War decided to bet on it. Surely Jin wouldn’t dare lash out at Little Bai Ze, would he?

Xu Yanmiao hesitantly nodded, casting a glance at the Minister of War’s grim face. His thoughts began to wander.

[I wonder how the Minister of War would feel if he knew he broke a young girl’s heart because he doesn’t bathe and is too dirty.]

[Jin’s daughter worked so hard to learn her father’s route home after work. She hid by the roadside to catch a glimpse of him, only to see a walking lump of coal step out of the carriage. Her heart shattered. She immediately threw herself into her maid’s arms, crying: ‘I thought his talent made up for his age, but he’s so filthy! I’d rather just admire his essays!’]

The Minister of War: “!!!”

He was overjoyed.

Who would’ve thought! Being dirty and skipping baths had such benefits!!!

He had planned to take a bath today, but maybe… he should wait another two days?

The Minister of Public Works was equally elated. He adjusted his sleeves and tried to re-tie his broken belt around his waist.

In his heart, he resolved: never again would he impeach the Minister of War for his lack of cleanliness! Not bathing was fantastic! Simply fantastic!

[Speaking of which, I wonder if the Minister of Public Works knows his daughter recently heard about a prodigy—a seven-year-old who could compose poetry with divine inspiration. She’s been captivated by this talent and keeps repeating, ‘I was born when you were not; now that you are here, I am already old’… Wait, why does that sound so familiar?]

Xu Yanmiao pondered this for a moment, opening up the daughter’s gossip archives. What he found was a string of similar phrases, all directed at different people.

[Oh, and not just people. When she was sixteen, she helped her cousin’s family hunt down a bandit gang with their large, ferocious dogs. She couldn’t stop talking about the dogs on the way home, sighing, ‘Oh, dogs, why must you be just dogs?’]

[So… maybe she’s just prone to saying these things?]

The Minister of Public Works was so overwhelmed with joy he nearly cried.

In that moment, he felt as though as long as his daughter didn’t like older men, she could do whatever she wanted.

Didn’t she want to join the military? Why not! If there could be a female top scorer in the imperial examinations, why couldn’t his daughter disguise herself as a man and join the army?

He’d even pay for her to become an officer! That way, there’d be no risk of her sharing a tent with soldiers and exposing her identity.

—After all, most second-generation officials did the same thing! Of course, anything higher up would have to be earned through real military merit.

As for His Majesty…

The Minister of Public Works glanced at the old emperor and made a firm decision.

Next time he entered the palace, he’d throw all his dignity away if needed, to secure the emperor’s blessing! That way, there’d be no worries about deceiving the sovereign!

Author’s Note:

You were born when I was not; now that you are here, I am already old.

—“Untitled”