Chapter 145: When You Smile, You Dont Look Like Him! (2 / 2)

The envoy from Fujian stepped forward and said, “Your Majesty! This man is fearmongering! If rice runs out, there’s still wheat. If wheat runs out, there’s silk. And even if silk is gone, there will always be oil, salt, soy sauce, and vinegar. The world has an abundance of goods…”

Liang Rui frowned in disdain and interrupted sharply, “But there’s even more Baochao— because it’s just paper. You can produce as much as you want. The result of unchecked printing is a market with no goods and waste paper flying in the wind! What are your intentions in harming Daxia like this?”

The envoy froze, his face turning red. “How dare you slander me without evidence!”

Stubbornly, he continued, “Furthermore, even if what you say is true, when has my lord ever suggested unrestrained printing? He merely instructed me to suggest printing enough to get through this crisis.”

Xu Yanmiao grew increasingly alarmed as he listened, his anxiety mounting.

[Oh no! How did this Fujian Governor ever get his position? Doesn’t he understand the concept of drinking poison to quench thirst?!]

[Huh? So he didn’t actually come up through the formal imperial examination system? Wait a second—this… this… wow! So that’s all it takes to become a high-ranking official?]

Yikes!

Many officials—especially those from the Ministry of Revenue—suddenly brightened.

Say more!

They desperately wanted to avoid the emperor’s gaze, the one that seemed to ask, “If you can’t even solve this problem, what use are you?” This issue… they truly didn’t know how to handle it! Historically, officials with business acumen were as rare as phoenix feathers, and those who could attend court debates were even scarcer.

The imperial examinations never tested this! And once in office, we’re prohibited from engaging in commerce. What are we supposed to do?

Xu Yanmiao, say a bit more. Divert the emperor’s attention—and as for the Fujian Governor’s fate, well, it doesn’t matter. Sacrifice him to benefit the entire court!

Besides, this problem is his doing in the first place! Would it have killed him to request grain for disaster relief honestly?

Unsurprisingly, many court officials were already harboring resentment toward this unseen Fujian Governor.

Some others, however, were fidgeting, as though sitting on pins and needles.

[Scholars across the land must be cursing their parents. Why didn’t they give them a better name? Look at this one—his name alone turned him from a student of the Imperial Academy into the Governor of Fujian. Other students have to intern in various ministries first, but he went whoosh straight to a second-rank governor position in Fujian, a wealthy coastal province with bustling maritime trade!]

Beyond those directly involved, most of the court officials and ministers of Daxia were now utterly hooked, their curiosity burning.

What kind of name could do this? To leap from having no official position to a second rank—this was more than a meteoric rise! Those of us risking our necks on the battlefield or clawing our way up step by step… how can we compete with that?

[Yu Ai, huh? Hmm, wasn’t there a loyal minister from the previous dynasty named Wang Yu Ai who sacrificed his life for the nation? Same name, different fate. They even come from the same region and share a similar accent… Wait. The Marquis of Yangwu recommended him for this position the moment he saw him—could it be…?]

Feeling the emperor’s meaningful gaze, the Marquis of Yangwu instinctively hunched his shoulders, trying to shrink into the background.

It’s not… it’s not…

[Oh no! I knew it! I thought it was just because his name sounded nice—but no, men’s words are lies. Clearly, it’s because his name and accent resemble that loyal minister from the previous dynasty!]

[I never expected this. The Marquis of Yangwu tried to recruit that minister three times without success, and now his obsession runs this deep? Tsk tsk. Who can say this isn’t some kind of surrogate narrative?]

Although most had never heard of “surrogate narratives,” the context was enough for them to piece it together.

Mocking glances now drifted toward the Marquis of Yangwu.

At this moment, unaware that he would soon earn the “honorary title” of Surrogate Marquis, the Marquis was on the verge of tears. He forced out his words one by one:

“Your Majesty, the Governor of Fujian is unworthy of his position. When I recommended him, it was a moment of foolishness, and I am deeply at fault. Please, Your Majesty, punish me.”

What surrogate narrative? I am not, I did not! I simply wanted that loyal minister to serve Daxia as a colleague, to stop devoting himself to that rotting court! Later, when I saw someone named Yu Ai, it reminded me of him, and I indulged my selfishness for a moment.

This person happened to have talent—just not in commerce. That’s why I recommended him! If he had been an uneducated scoundrel, I wouldn’t have given him a second glance!

The Marquis of Yangwu felt utterly wronged but had no way to explain himself now. Gritting his teeth, he said, “I implore Your Majesty to demote this man from the governorship. His foolishness renders him unfit for such a weighty role. Furthermore, I ask Your Majesty to strip me of my own position to serve as a warning to others.”

The old emperor pondered for a moment, his lips twitching…

[Ah, the surrogate is still just a surrogate. When trouble arises, he’s the first to be discarded.]

The Marquis of Yangwu ground his teeth.

“I already said—there’s no such thing!”

Yu’s abilities were passable, but that prime minister of the previous dynasty was extraordinary. Under the rule of such a tyrannical and brutal emperor, he managed to protect himself while also helping the Zhou Dynasty, at the height of its prosperity, withstand the assault of 18 rebel armies for four extra years!

How could they be compared? How could this be similar? Substitute? What substitute? Nonsense!

“Pfft—” The old emperor barely held back a laugh, stifling it with immense effort so Xu Yanmiao wouldn’t notice anything unusual. Then, stealthily pinching his thigh, he suppressed his mirth before speaking again: “You exaggerate. While you misjudged this individual, no grave error has occurred. Hence, your fief shall only be reduced by 200 households. As for the Fujian Governor, for offering ill-advised proposals and nearly causing great harm, he shall be dismissed from office!”

The Marquis of Yangwu, terrified that Xu Yanmiao might say something even more shocking, quickly replied: “Thank you, Your Majesty, for your mercy!”@@novelbin@@

The old emperor continued: “As for the issue of treasure notes, we will not print more for now. However, the crisis surrounding them still looms. Does anyone have a solution?”

Silence.

Well, not entirely…

[We do! We do! Just ask someone who knows business! Isn’t the Minister of Works’ wife a skilled businesswoman? And she’s particularly adept at it!]

But in any dynasty, officials and their families were strictly forbidden from engaging in commerce.

The Minister of Works’ face turned green in an instant.

The peculiar titles referenced here are inspired by historical anecdotes:

The “Bird-Washing Censor”:

Wan Wenkang, a prominent official, reportedly regained his vitality using a secret remedy from a subordinate. This remedy involved washing his “bird” (a euphemism for genitals), earning him the nickname.

Source: Wanli Yehuobian

The “Urine-Refining Minister”:

Gu Kexue, an official, specialized in refining urine into an elixir believed to extend life. This gained him rapid promotions.

Source: Wanli Yehuobian

Gaining office through absurd means:

Han Tuozhou was amused by Zhao Shiyi barking like a dog to please him, leading to Zhao’s appointment as the Minister of Works.

Source: Song History

Tang Xuanzong promoted Yuan Qianyao quickly because his appearance and speech resembled another official he admired.

Source: Liu’s Old Anecdotes

He Ding was rewarded with a noble title after presenting hunting dogs to Sun Hao to supply his kitchen with rabbits.

Source: Records of the Three Kingdoms

An official gained favor by kneeling roadside for a eunuch, earning successive promotions.

Source: Wanli Yehuobian

Zhu Xizhou’s name was so pleasing to Emperor Xiaozong that he was promoted to first place in the imperial examination.

Source: Ming History