Chapter 171: Who’s Worse Off—Lord Yingcheng or the Heir Destined for Nanfeng Pavilion? (2 / 2)

With a sharp slap, Lord Yingcheng clutched his backside. The initial plea of “Your Majesty” in his trembling voice shot up several octaves, reaching the heavens, full of frantic excitement: “Your Majesty! This subject believes Your Majesty’s punishment is entirely appropriate! Let the punishment fit the crime! This subject admits his guilt and willingly accepts the penalty! After court today, I will shed my official robes and return home to fulfill the neglected rites—oh, and I humbly request that Your Majesty appoint a nanny to supervise my progress at the bedside!”

—In certain excessively formal and wealthy households, having someone feed you, wipe you in the bathroom, or even stand watch while you engaged in bedroom activities was perfectly normal and not the least bit awkward. They had grown up with such customs.

The old emperor opened his mouth, speechless.

“I am simply adapting to the circumstances.”

The old emperor closed his eyes.

My innocence…

“Then grant the nanny!” the emperor declared decisively.

Since there was no way to prove his actions were purely situational and not motivated by a peculiar desire to insult his officials, he decided to abandon any pretense of virtue. This was the only way to maximize the benefits!

History would vindicate him!

Beside him, the court historian lowered his head, his brush moving swiftly:

“…Chongming privately mocked, calling the emperor a ‘nouveau riche.’ The emperor, upon learning this, was displeased and confined him to his home, decreeing that he should tend to his wives and concubines, with a penalty if he did not satisfy twenty in a day.”

—Chongming Wu was Lord Yingcheng’s given name.

This was recorded in the imperial annals by the historian documenting the daily life of the Tiantong Emperor. Meanwhile, the historian responsible for recording the personal conduct of officials wrote in much greater detail.

However, no matter how detailed, any mention of the Bai Ze’s influence was intentionally omitted.

Thus, the historical record simply stated: The Tiantong Emperor was offended by Lord Yingcheng referring to him as a “nouveau riche.” In response, the Ministry of Personnel’s Assistant Secretary, Xu Yanmiao, impeached him on grounds of failing to fulfill his “ritual obligations.” The emperor rebuked Lord Yingcheng for neglecting the happiness of his wives and concubines and subsequently ordered him confined to his home to satisfy them daily.

—As for later generations of curious scholars piecing together evidence of Lord Yingcheng’s collusion with the Prince of Jibei during the rebellion of that year, speculating that the Tiantong Emperor’s actions were meant to provoke the prince, that would come much later.

The matter of Lord Yingcheng’s impeachment was settled. Then, out of the blue, Huang Yong, the Langzhong of the Ministry of Personnel’s Civil Appointments Office, stepped forward and began impeaching others.

He targeted both officials in the capital, such as the Censor of the Ministry of War, and provincial officials, like the Assistant Surveillance Commissioner of Guizhou. Over the course of his charges, he impeached seven or eight individuals, and the emperor punished each one accordingly.

Lord Yingcheng’s face turned deathly pale.

He realized what was happening—but it was already too late. Furthermore, the large scale of the court’s actions made it clear that the emperor was unafraid of him trying to send out any warnings.

The emperor was intentionally stirring the pot!

Meanwhile, Huang Yong’s behavior left the censors glancing at each other in disbelief.

Xu Yanmiao’s actions were one thing, but why was someone from the Ministry of Personnel acting like this? Was the Ministry trying to steal the Censorate’s job?!

A tense silence fell as several censors exchanged looks and made calculations. Once Huang Yong stepped back into line, three or four censors rose together and unleashed a torrent of impeachment accusations against various officials, determined to remind everyone that this was their job.

One particularly bold censor directly criticized the emperor, saying: “A ruler’s words are not to be taken lightly! How can Your Majesty joke about an official’s wife? What if the Minister of Works were heartless and turned around to offer his wife to you? That would bring chaos to the court!”

The force of their arguments was so intense that even the emperor retreated, hastily adjourning the court session.

Later that day, after the government offices locked their doors and the day’s work was done, Huang Yong left his post distractedly. He had been on edge, worried that Xu Yanmiao might connect the dots between the two incidents. Only now, a day later, did he feign discovering his wife’s deception and angrily confront her.@@novelbin@@

His wife was momentarily stunned. “You… already know?”

Huang Yong maintained a stern expression.

“Yes! I know everything! It was you—Ai Ai was you. Lian Lian was also you.”

His wife asked calmly, “So, do you want a divorce?”

Inwardly, she began calculating how to maintain a dignified life afterward.

Huang Yong’s stern facade crumbled instantly. He surrendered in a heartbeat. Though he didn’t cry, his voice was filled with emotion.

“No! We can’t divorce! My lady, let’s just stay the way we are!”

His wife blinked. “…What?”

At this point, Huang Yong broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“I can’t bear to part with Zhen Zhen, Ai Ai, and Lian Lian! Let’s just keep things as they are. I’ll continue preparing four gifts for every holiday! Pretend I never found out about any of this!”

His wife raised an eyebrow. “…If that’s the case, why did you have to expose it?”

She couldn’t understand. If he hadn’t confronted her, couldn’t everything have stayed the same?

Huang Yong replied with conviction: “I absolutely refuse to let you laugh at me behind my back for being a fool!”

For the third time, his wife fell into a brief silence.

So… it’s fine as long as she laughs to his face?

The old emperor swore he had only taken a curious glance at Huang Yong’s residence. What he discovered, however, shocked him: Huang Yong acted as if nothing had happened. In fact, on the very evening after impeaching officials connected to the Prince of Jibei, Huang Yong had strolled through the streets with his wife, leisurely selecting gifts for his dear companions—Zhen Zhen, Ai Ai, and Lian Lian.

The emperor’s eyes widened in disbelief. “!!” His pupils trembled.

“Father!” The crown prince entered, holding up two slabs of cured meat. “Quick, help me decide—between these two pieces, which one’s better quality? Also, what about this Jinhua ham? If I send these together, it shouldn’t be too much, right? Should I throw in two dried fish as well? That way, it won’t seem like I’m trying to ingratiate myself.”

The emperor’s expression grew increasingly peculiar. “What is this for? Which household are you sending this assortment to?”

“Xu Yanmiao’s home,” the crown prince replied cheerfully. “To congratulate him on his promotion. He doesn’t have a gatekeeper, so I deliberately waited two extra days to avoid overwhelming him with gifts.”

Meanwhile…

Across the capital, many officials’ wives were staring at their husbands’ gift lists, questioning their own eyesight.

“What is this?”

Cured meat? Smoked fish? Ham? Rice? Bean paste?

What are we doing here—visiting relatives in the countryside?

When questioned, the officials quickly explained to their wives:

“Yes, that’s exactly it. Just prepare these items.”

“No money—don’t put even a single copper coin in there!”

“Live chickens or ducks? No need; he doesn’t have the space to raise them. The key to gift-giving is knowing the recipient’s preferences. These are perfect.”

“I specifically picked today to deliver, two days later than everyone else, so Xu Lang will surely remember me!”

“Everyone else swarmed his house during his day off. We’re going at a different time! Make sure to greet him warmly when we arrive.”

One carriage after another, loaded with meticulously prepared gifts, set off from their homes and rolled onto the bustling streets, heading toward the southern 36th district. Each carriage carried a steward, representing their master with a serious expression and an upright posture. Surrounding them were gift boxes packed with cured meats, hams, and other similar items.

And then…

“Hmm? Why are we moving so slowly?”

A servant went to investigate and returned to report: “There are so many people out today. The carriages are all stuck in traffic on the district streets.”

One house’s steward frowned slightly and instructed his subordinate: “Go tell them to make way for us. Say that we are from the State Duke’s residence…”

However, the person in the next carriage retorted arrogantly: “Our family is also from a State Duke’s residence. Why should we let you pass?”

The servant moved on to the next carriage. This time, the person inside spoke politely, with a scholarly demeanor: “I am from the Dou family. Apologies, but I am under my master’s orders and cannot make way.”

The Dou family? Prime Minister Dou?!

The servant gasped sharply and hurried to the next carriage. There, the person didn’t say a word but simply flashed a token.

“Th-th-th-the…” The servant stammered.

The Crown Prince?!

What kind of person is this newly promoted official? Even the Crown Prince is patiently stuck in traffic, waiting in line!

Author’s Note:

“When the cunning hare is dead, the hounds are cooked. When the birds are gone, the fine bow is put away.”

— Records of the Grand Historian

Upstart (暴发户):

(This term dates back to the Qianlong period.)

“It’s only these upstart families. If it were my family, how would he dare be so bold?”

— The Scholars

As for whether such blunt phrases would actually appear in historical records… I recommend reading “I! I! Dog Emperor I!”