Chapter 23: Hiss! How can someone fit so much stuff in there! (1 / 2)

What the heck?!

Ass?!

Someone from the Ministry of Personnel instinctively touched their own behind, their eyes wide with confusion.

How can that place even hold anything?!

“And…” A certain official from the Ministry of Personnel swallowed hard, “Putting jewelry in there… wouldn’t it… wouldn’t it get… uh… dirty or something?”

This is killing me!!!

Prime Minister Dou’s hands trembled violently.

It’s tainted, it’s tainted! His son’s betrothal gifts have been defiled!!!

[What the heck, what the heck, what the heck!!!]

Huh?

The others instantly perked up.

What did Xu Yanmiao just discover?

Could there really be something even more absurd than hiding valuables in the anus? No way, right? This is hiding gold in the anus we’re talking about!

[How is this even possible?!] Xu Yanmiao’s usually composed inner thoughts trembled in sheer astonishment: [One time, they managed to fit two jade combs, two gold-inlaid jade bracelets

, and four South Sea pearls! Is this an anus? This is a black hole!!!]

“Hiss—”

The men present collectively felt their pupils quake.

How could anyone fit that much? Wouldn’t it hurt so much they’d pass out?

“I’ve got it!” One person declared confidently. “This thief must be a woman! Women can give birth, so they can naturally hold such items! Perhaps the woman disguised herself as a man to sneak in.”

Someone else added with conviction.

—Of course, childbirth doesn’t involve that place, but this person didn’t know any better.

[No wonder Prime Minister Dou’s youngest son was limping for days recently. I thought it was because he fought with the Prince of Jibei over a courtesan and got punished by his father!]

The confident individual suddenly looked like they’d been choked by an invisible hand.

A man?! How could it be a man?!

Could a man’s anatomy really be this… naturally gifted? Stop, stop—don’t think about it anymore!

—Yet, many of the men there began sneaking glances at their colleagues’ backsides. If it weren’t for the crowd, someone might’ve wrestled someone down to check for themselves.

Even more mortified than these men was Prime Minister Dou.

—Because as it turned out, the culprit responsible for all this embarrassment was his own youngest son.

What an utter scandal!

The official from the Court of State Ceremonies, Dou’s future in-law, turned to look at him, his eyes filled with sheer disbelief.

Prime Minister Dou noticed and, fearing a misunderstanding, quickly explained, “This is entirely my unfilial son’s doing…”

At the same moment, the official from the Court of State Ceremonies lowered his voice, a mix of excitement and embarrassment in his tone: “Prime Minister, your youngest son’s… um… capabilities back there—can they really carry out so many treasures?”

Prime Minister Dou: “…”

The official coughed awkwardly.@@novelbin@@

It’s just… pure curiosity, okay?

Prime Minister Dou’s expression looked like someone had accidentally poured a whole jar of mixed spices onto his face, revealing a hilariously complex mix of emotions.

But truth be told, if one set aside the fact that his own house was burning down…

Prime Minister Dou also coughed lightly, lowering his voice. “I… I have no idea. If not for today’s events, I wouldn’t have known that unfilial wretch’s… ahem… rear is so, uh… naturally gifted.”

The two men exchanged glances, each seeing a tinge of regret in the other’s eyes.

Prime Minister Dou: This is my son, so I can’t exactly test the strength of his rear.

Official from the Court of State Ceremonies: But that’s the Prime Minister’s son… Prime Minister’s son… Prime Minister’s son… (The phrase echoed in his mind like a mantra, reminding him to stay in line.)

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao was completely engrossed in the unfolding drama, too busy absorbing the gossip to notice the external world.

[Wow, hiding jewelry and pearls in the anus, cleaning them, and then presenting them as gifts to a courtesan?]

[What kind of idiot does this—wait, hahaha, hahahahaha! I… hahahaha… I can’t take it anymore, hahaha!]

The surrounding officials perked up their ears.

Another juicy tidbit? What kind of revelation could make Xu Yanmiao, of all people, laugh so uncontrollably?

[Dou Shifei (Prime Minister Dou’s youngest son) recently gave the courtesan seven South Sea pearls, each the size of a fist… pfft…]

At this, Xu Yanmiao finally couldn’t hold back, bursting into laughter.

—Mainly because he imagined the scenario of Dou Shifei painstakingly squeezing out those pearls one by one over the span of seven days.

After laughing, Xu Yanmiao frantically glanced around. Seeing that everyone else seemed preoccupied with investigating the scene, he sighed in relief before sneaking another peek at the juicy gossip.

[Those seven South Sea pearls were later dubbed the ‘Big Dipper.’ Each pearl is a different color—white, pink, black, peacock green… Dou Shifei gifted them to the courtesan, leaving everyone in the brothel utterly envious.]

[And then… hahaha… and then the courtesan gifted the ‘Big Dipper’ to the Prince of Jibei. The prince then had it made into a belt, which he now proudly wears everywhere, showing off, hahaha!!!]

The officials around bit down hard on their lips, pinching their thighs.

Must. Not. Laugh. Absolutely mustn’t laugh!

The Prince of Jibei originally lived in the Jibei region. His father, the King of Jibei, had been bedridden for half a year, and the prince had come to the capital as his representative.

For the past few days, this man had been strutting around court with that treasured belt, often striking poses to draw attention to it.

That belt was indeed exquisite, attracting many lower-ranked officials to gather around him, just to catch a glimpse—if they could touch it, even better.

One of the Deputy Ministers from the Ministry of Personnel (a rank 7 official) let out a long sigh of relief.

The Ministry has two Deputy Ministers, and the other one noticed his colleague’s odd expression. Widening his eyes, he asked, “You wouldn’t have…”

The first Deputy Minister closed his eyes as if shielding himself from the harsh daylight. After a long pause, he reopened them, speaking with lingering fear, “At the time, I almost touched it. Thankfully, the Prince of Jibei slapped my hand away.”

Such immense gratitude! I’m forever in his debt!

[Wait a minute.] Xu Yanmiao’s attention suddenly drifted elsewhere.

[How could such a large batch of pearls go missing without anyone noticing during the previous inspections?]

[Oh! Found it—what the…?!]