Chapter 297: Murderous Intent!!! New

Which emperor goes around snatching his ministers’ gardens?

Oh, mine does!

The capital officials collectively put on pained expressions.

But what could they do? They couldn’t exactly slit the emperor’s throat, could they? In the end, it was just some gardens—if he wanted them, he could have them!

However, Xu Yanmiao was actually quite grateful to the old emperor.

—After all, he didn’t own a garden.

But he was being pestered non-stop by the former magistrate!

Ever since the old emperor had dragged the former magistrate back and forth, grilling him over every last detail of his garden, the man had immediately found an excuse to flee from Xu Yanmiao’s side—practically running for his life.

Gao Tiezhu slowly peeled a potato and curled his lips. “What’s he running for? Does he think he can escape?”

The others: “……”

Gao Tiezhu turned his head and set his sights on the next official, his face full of smiles. “Esteemed official…”

The man happened to be a capital official, and he shivered on the spot. “Not high-ranking!”

Seeing the emperor’s expression turn dangerous, the other provincial and retired officials exchanged wary glances and quickly patched things up. With solemn faces and righteous indignation, they declared:

“Everyone knows that His Majesty promotes frugality, setting an example for all to follow. I, too, grow my own vegetables, eat from earthenware bowls, wear short coats and tattered shoes. Even my wife, when entertaining guests, wears plain clothes that don’t even touch the ground. How could I possibly have the spare time or money to tend to a garden?”

[Well, that’s true…]

[But what does that have to do with the old emperor? Isn’t it because you’re allergic to silk and couldn’t bear being the only one suffering in your household, so you forced your entire family to wear rough linen shoes instead?]

The ministers of Daxia: →_→

The capital official silently turned his head.

Ah—

The prime minister’s house has paper windows?!

[And since the reputation spread, what started as merely avoiding silk eventually led to replacing all the fine porcelain bowls at home with earthenware, and even setting up a backyard vegetable patch—with tears in his eyes.]

The ministers of Daxia: 😑

The capital official continued to stare at the window.

Oh—

So the prime minister’s windows were made of white hemp paper? Pretty cheap!

[This is hilarious. Originally, he thought having children would be a good excuse to improve his living conditions a little. But instead, his kids got completely brainwashed into competing over who could be more frugal. Every time he said, “I just want what’s best for you,” they shot him down, hahaha!]

[Both his children are immensely proud of their extreme thriftiness!]

The ministers of Daxia: Tsk tsk.

The capital official acted as if he hadn’t heard a thing, continuing to stare at the prime minister Dou’s window.

Hmm—

That bright red paper-cut window decoration was actually quite beautiful!

Zhang, the former magistrate, slunk back to his original seat in disgrace. But of course, he wasn’t the only one trying to curry favor with the emperor’s favorite minister! Ṟ𝘼𝐍оβ̧@@novelbin@@

The former Assistant Minister of War, who had retired in the eleventh year of Tiantong’s reign, cast a disdainful glance at Zhang.

He chuckled to his friend. “Hmph, look at that fool returning with such a dejected face. Clearly, he failed to win Xu Lang’s favor. I knew it—how could someone as shallow as Zhang Zhuxian possibly understand Xu Lang’s tastes? It has to be me.”

A friend was astonished. “I’ve long heard that this Imperial Attendant is reserved and difficult to please. Could it be that… you understand his preferences?”

The former Assistant Minister of War revealed a mysterious smile.

“Just watch me.”

With a slight buzz from the alcohol, he got up and walked over.

In his view, this young Imperial Attendant still had the heart of a youth and greatly enjoyed lively spectacles. That fool Zhang Zhuxian didn’t even grasp this and instead tried to impress him with poetry recitations, tea appreciation, and flower viewing… Did he not realize that even his own pampered children found such things tedious? Let alone the emperor’s favored minister, Xu Yanmiao, who enjoyed unparalleled prestige?

When it came to having fun, making mischief, and sharing urban gossip, he, Yu Shouzhong, was the expert!

Yu, the former Assistant Minister, had only ever met Emperor Tiantong in his prime—at thirty or forty years old—never in his sixties. And now, the emperor had turned away to discuss gardens with another minister. Sweeping his gaze across the gathering, Yu Shouzhong vaguely felt that someone’s back looked familiar but didn’t dwell on it. He was wholly focused on approaching the young and accomplished Imperial Attendant, Xu Yanmiao.

Having already drafted his flattering words in his mind, he began speaking eloquently, leaving Xu Yanmiao utterly baffled.

[This man sure knows how to compliment people.]

Xu Yanmiao, however, was troubled: [But he’s using way too many classical allusions… Damn it, even though I crammed hard on idioms recently, you’re using eight in a single sentence—am I here for a conversation or a literature exam?]

Seeing that Yu Shouzhong was oblivious to the communication gap, Liang Rui coughed lightly. “Sir, is there a reason for your visit?”

Saving little Bai Ze from a literature lecture.jpg

Yu Shouzhong, still smiling, showered Xu Yanmiao with yet another round of compliments—again, with eight idioms per sentence—before finally getting to the point. “I admire you deeply and have come to pay my respects.”

Xu Yanmiao: “……”

[This is painful.]

[I want to make a tactical escape to the restroom, QAQ.]

Yu Shouzhong unknowingly pulled out his trump card. “Young Master Xu has risen to fame at such a young age. May I ask who your esteemed mentor was?”

Xu Yanmiao searched his predecessor’s memories and hesitated before answering.

[Help!]

[How do you formally refer to deceased parents? Is it ‘late father and mother’?]

Liang Rui coughed and quietly prompted, “Are you struggling with something?”

Xu Yanmiao whispered his dilemma.

Liang Rui instructed, “For the living, it’s ‘father, mother, wife.’ For the deceased, it’s ‘late father, late mother, late wife.’”

[Oh! I memorized this but forgot in the moment!]

[Liang Rui, you’re such a good person!]

[Wait, of course! That idiom ‘grieving as if losing one’s parents’ literally explains it!]

Xu Yanmiao looked at Yu Shouzhong. “I come from a poor family and had no teacher. In the past, I was taught by my late father and mother, and later… I taught myself.”

Yu Shouzhong exclaimed, “Young Master Xu is self-taught? Truly remarkable!”

He sighed. “When I was young, I studied at my clan’s school. Unfortunately, I had an unsuitable teacher. That scholar had an unhealthy fondness for young men, making many students too uneasy to focus on their studies. We spent our formative years, when we should have been reading at dawn, instead constantly worried that he might take liberties. Every morning, he would rudely yank off our blankets with lewd eyes, forcing us to rush home in fear. We spent several hours each day commuting just to avoid him.”

Other eavesdropping officials fell silent.

A good teacher was a lifelong blessing. But encountering a depraved one—what a nightmare for students.

[???]

[Harassing students?!]

[That teacher is disgusting!]

The ministers of Daxia: Indeed!

[I need to expose him!]

The ministers of Daxia: Yes! Expose him!

[I—]

[Wait?]

[Why can’t I find any gossip about this? Did I use the wrong keywords?]

Xu Yanmiao thought for a moment and cautiously inquired, “With such a wicked teacher, did you never consider reporting him to the authorities?”

Yu Shouzhong shook his head. “There was no evidence. How could we report him?”

Xu Yanmiao hesitated and asked carefully, “Was yanking off blankets his only misdeed? I mean… did he do anything more obvious, or were there any victims?”

Yu Shouzhong’s eyes lit up, thinking this was his chance to shine.

He smiled. “It’s all in the past now.”

Then he added, “There were no victims. He was… very cautious. Looking back, I now see him as nothing more than an amusing street performer.”

Xu Yanmiao was at a loss for words. Accusing the teacher with sorrow seemed inappropriate, but neither did outright condemnation feel right. Yet, he couldn’t just say, “So, tell me, what kind of entertainment did this scholar bring?”

[How did this conversation even reach such a deep level so quickly?!]

A perplexed university student moment.

But Yu Shouzhong was quite pleased with himself, thinking he was sharing an amusing story with Xu Yanmiao—

“He deliberately yanked students’ blankets but acted like a virtuous lady himself. Every time other scholars and students invited him to the bathhouse, he would blush and refuse.”

[Ah! Found it!]

For a moment, Xu Yanmiao was excited—then in the next, he froze like a hamster caught in a chokehold, dropping his metaphorical sunflower seed.

[Wait a second—he wasn’t even into men?!]

[And no other students thought he was into men either…]

[Also, the reason he didn’t bathe with others was because he had athlete’s foot?!]

Xu Yanmiao’s inner thoughts thundered.

The ministers of Daxia: “!!!”

Oh ho!

Even the old emperor had stopped pestering his ministers about gardens and was now fully focused on Xu Yanmiao’s inner monologue.

—This development was far more intriguing!

Come on, let’s hear how this man managed to misinterpret his teacher so thoroughly!

After much contemplation, Xu Yanmiao finally pulled a term from his memory:

[I’ve got it. This Yu Shouzhong… might have persecution delusions.]

Former Assistant Minister Yu didn’t even realize he was being watched with a mix of sympathy and excitement by those around him.

—If he could hear Xu Yanmiao’s inner thoughts, he definitely wouldn’t have been so pleased to continue speaking, thinking he had finally struck a chord with him.

Lian Hang poked at the small portion of meat on his plate and chuckled. “Well, it’s not all that different.”

Wasn’t Xu Lang just getting into it now?

Even he was getting interested.

—Though, probably not in the way Yu wanted.

Yu reminisced about the past, trying to make his point as clearly as possible. “Also, he didn’t just sneak into a rouge shop once to try on rouge. A grown man using makeup isn’t a big deal, but he did it secretly and then flatly denied it when confronted, insisting that he didn’t like powdering his face. Absolutely ridiculous.”

[Uh…]

Xu Yanmiao suddenly felt bad for that teacher.

[They were about to take the provincial exam, and he was afraid they wouldn’t do well. The guy stayed up until midnight making lesson plans, then got up at four to wash up, eat, and rush to the dorms by five to drag them out of bed for morning studies. His dark circles were probably awful, so he used some powder to cover them up and added a little rouge to look less like a corpse. And now he’s being suspected of having certain… preferences?]

[That’s tragic…]

Yeah, tragic indeed.

The court officials of Great Xia nodded in unison.

Especially the ministers, who felt a deep resonance.

Midnight—Xu sometimes mixed in modern terms, but they’d long figured it out. Midnight was “zi hour,” four a.m. was “yin hour, fifth quarter.” One ancient hour was roughly two modern ones.

Sleeping only two hours a night? That was beyond tough.

Yu continued enthusiastically, “And another thing—he, a grown man, actually liked eating pastries! Not just any pastries, but the really sweet and syrupy ones! Normally, only… certain types of men enjoy that kind of thing…”

Xu instinctively started counting.

[Huh? Isn’t that just a stereotype?]

[The Vice Commander of the Central Army likes to brush sweet bean paste on his roasted lamb ribs.]

[Chief Clerk Liang’s favorite rice is the fragrant, slightly sweet Kaifeng variety.]

[Prime Minister Dou secretly eats five-spice cakes behind his family’s back.]

[Oh! And the Minister of War! Not only does he love sweets, but he sometimes sneaks them during court sessions!]

[And even the old emperor—he likes osmanthus cakes and date paste pastries!]

[Wait, does that mean they’re all—]

Everyone who got named: “?!”

No!

Absolutely not!!!

Yu suddenly felt a chill run down his spine.

Weird… why did it feel like there was killing intent in the air?!

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