Inevitable: Chapter 48

The two weeks before my internship flew by more quickly than I would have liked. I passed my class with an A but couldn’t bring myself to call Jax and share the news.

So, I dove into focusing on ironing out my internship schedule, figured out a plan to move to the city by continuing to rent my apartment month-to-month until I found a place, and spent as much time at Margie’s as I could.

Each time, she would tell me that we could find a way to tell the kids I wouldn’t be around as much. I just told her they were a big part of my life and I would still be there every week. A lot of me had changed, but my love for that place hadn’t. My goal was still to learn to invest well enough that I could keep them afloat in the future.

One particular day, the kids were so hyper when I arrived, I asked Margie what had caused it. She sheepishly admitted that Jax had started to visit. I didn’t comment on that news, but I left with my blood boiling.

He knew better than to start coming to visit and then drop it all when he decided they weren’t convenient anymore for him. And that would happen.

He’d done it to me, and he’d do it to them.

I tried my best not to seethe about it. I went running that day, I talked it out with my friends, and I even went running again.

That night, I dialed his number.

‘Peaches, you all right?’

Hearing that voice again laced with sleep had me forgetting the real reason I called and remembering all the reasons I shouldn’t be. I wasn’t immune to him yet. I still loved that voice, still wanted to wake up right beside him and hear it. My body ached knowing I wouldn’t ever be able to again.

I whispered out a lie, “Of course, I’m all right. Why wouldn’t I be?’

He cleared the grogginess from his throat. “It’s the middle of the night.”

I glanced at the time on my phone and winced. ‘I didn’t realize it was two in the morning.’

He hummed. ‘I’m glad you finally called. We should talk—’

‘I didn’t call to talk about us,’ I snapped, knowing I didn’t have the strength to rehash our issues. ‘Margie said you went to visit.’

He sighed.

‘I specifically asked you not to do that! They need stability.’

‘Who’s to say I can’t be stable?’

‘Are you kidding?’ I said.

‘Whitfield, don’t say some shit you’re going to regret,’ he warned, his voice low.

‘Oh, please. You’re one to talk about saying shit you’ll regret! You couldn’t wait to throw my father in my face.’

He groaned. ‘I never should have—’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ I said quickly. ‘God, none of this matters. Except you are not going to see the kids anymore. They’ve been through enough lately.’

‘I’m not going to put them through any more. I plan on being around. I won’t let them down with that.’

‘Like you planned on not letting me down?’ The question jumped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

‘You know damn well you made the decision for both of us to stop what we were doing when you went to see him. I didn’t let you down, Peaches. And I’ve called. You don’t answer.’

‘I can’t make the same mistake my mom did.’

“What the hell does that mean?”

“She stayed in a toxic relationship—”

‘Don’t you dare compare what your mom had with him to our relationship.’

I laughed but it was hollow. ‘I can’t make a comparison but you can? Like father, like daughter, right?’

‘Peaches, baby, I should have never said it. I meant what I said in the voice mail—’

‘It’s fine. I’m fine. It doesn’t matter what you said in the voice mail, I didn’t listen to it.”

He grumbled.

I didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. “It’s true, anyway. A part of him is in me. He raised me. So, maybe I’m twisted from that. Maybe seeing them together as the only real relationship I knew for so long, maybe I justified what we had as healthy. But it’s not. I have to take what I learned from them and know when something is toxic. We’re toxic and unhealthy, Jax. And I have to walk away from something like that even if my mother couldn’t.’

He stayed silent for so long, I figured he’d come to terms with what I’d said. His fight to keep us together finally died, and something in me that felt a lot like hope and happiness died along with it.

‘Can you just stop going to Margie’s too? We don’t need to be making this any more complicated than it is, and the kids need people who will stick around.’

He grunted and then growled, ‘They need us. So, I don’t plan to go anywhere, Whitfield. Mark my words, I’ll always be there.’

I knew he wasn’t talking about the kids anymore. ‘Jax, please just let us go.’

‘No,” he practically yelled. “If what we have is unhealthy, I don’t want to be healthy. I’ll take the fucking heart attack.’ His voice cracked. ‘Inevitable, Peaches. We’re inevitable. Watch the news tomorrow.’

Then, he hung up.

That very next day, I stared at the TV in shock. Katie and Rome came over to stare at it in shock with me.

“He did the impossible,” I whispered to them.

Neither of them responded. We just listened to the news anchor go over the millions he must have lost in his latest deal to close down Whitfield Candy Company. The numbers were staggering, yet the feeling of my father stripped of all his power was even more overwhelming.

To me, he’d done what I thought no man could do.

The man on the TV said it had obviously taken Jax years to gain the trust of my father and take over the majority of the stock. They were baffled that someone who’d never faltered and had Stonewood as his name, could’ve made so many mistakes so quickly after taking over that he was forced to close up shop for good.

The hit to his name and bank account would be monumental, they said. Speculation swirled on other channels too. They said he’d slotted everything into place for that app launch, that money was flooding in from it. No one really believed he’d lost his investing touch after all the right moves he’d made with that, and so this was a calculated plan to purposefully take a loss and shut down the company. They speculated he’d done everything for me.

For once, I believed the media.

“I think you should call him,” Katie blurted.

I put my head in my hands, “To say what?”

“Everything you ever wanted to say,” Rome answered.

“This doesn’t erase how crazy we are together, you guys.”

“Better to be crazy together, than nothing at all apart,” Rome said matter-of-factly as he got up. “Kate-Bait, talk some sense into your friend.”

Then he walked out of my apartment.

I blew a raspberry and looked at Katie. “I’m getting through this the best way I know how. Talking to him won’t help.”

She patted my thigh. “It’s not the best way. It’s your safe way. Time to buck up, bitch, and fight for that creep of yours.”

“Katie, I can’t call him.”

“Then, he’ll find you. He always does.”

Her omen echoed through me for the next few days and on the first day of my internship, I told myself over and over that Jax hadn’t called. We weren’t together. We worked in different departments. He wouldn’t seek me out. He wouldn’t come looking for me.

I took my first two-hour train ride into the city and walked the rest of the way to the Stonewood Enterprises building. The height of it humbled me as I looked up before walking in.

When I stepped through the doors, there Jax stood, just as tall in my mind as the building. Dressed in a dark navy suit with his hair slicked back, he was just as foreboding and awe-inspiring too.

He stood in the lobby with two coffee cups, looking at me expectantly. Like I should go to him, like we were meeting here. I took him in and saw circles under his eyes. Those blue eyes didn’t hold much sparkle and he didn’t smile. He just looked me up and down as if he were measuring me up.

I didn’t move, my stilettos had frozen to the ground. I congratulated myself on wearing the white dress that fit so well, that he swore he’d destroy. I knew, at the very least, I looked good standing there like an idiot, holding on to my briefcase as if it would save me from having to talk to him.

On the phone, yelling at him, I could do. Seeing him and knowing what he’d done for me, for us, I didn’t know if my knees would give out or I would end up crying on the floor on my first day.

He walked to me, and I tried to ready myself for a conversation.

When I opened my mouth, he shook his head and shoved the cup in my hand. ‘It’s a chai latte.’

‘I don’t drink—’

‘Humor me, okay?’

My eyes started to water at those words. ‘Jax.’

He shook his head again. ‘Not today, Whitfield. Enjoy your first day. White looks phenomenal on you.’

He walked away, and I whispered that blue looked phenomenal on him too.

My first four days flew by. Every morning, he met me in the lobby, offering a chai latte and a compliment on my attire. My work day then consisted of fretting over our minute-long encounter and trying to absorb every little lesson Jett had to offer. When we dove into different portfolios, I remembered I could do all of it, that I enjoyed doing it.

By the end of the work week, I’d found a rhythm. I got ready by dressing in a simple black pencil skirt and flowy black top. I wondered if Jax would have something to say about it as I entered the lobby and waited for my chai latte.

When I stopped to look around for him, I was surprised to find he wasn’t there.

I tried to shake it off, but his absence weighed on me throughout the day. When Jett asked me what to do about a particularly tricky portfolio, Jax’s words from so long ago popped into my head. “Let yourself fly a little.”

I thought I saw him in the halls and around the corners or smelled him in the conference rooms. He was nowhere to be found. At lunch, I got in the elevator to go find something quick to eat when he appeared.

No one followed him on and when I saw his face, I knew why. He looked ready to cut down anyone who got in his way.

“Whitfield,” he nodded as the doors closed.

“Jax,” I nodded back and glanced around, wondering if anyone could see us enclosed in the elevator by ourselves.

“You look good,” he grunted.

“Thanks,” I whispered because it was all I could manage. We were alone, and I smelled the mint I missed, felt the presence I longed for, and saw the man I couldn’t quite figure out but knew I loved.

“We need to talk.”

I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea,” I blurted.

He just looked down at me and mouthed inevitable. Then he stepped forward and swiped his key fob.

“Jax! I have work to do.”

“You’re on your lunch.”

“Well, I’m working during lunch.” I crossed my arms.

He smiled a little. “Now who works too much?”

I shut my eyes, frustrated as the elevator doors opened to his penthouse. When he waved me in, I went.

Two coffee cups were sitting on his counter and he nodded to them. “I had a meeting this morning that I couldn’t miss.”

I grabbed one. “Please stop getting me these.”

“You know I won’t.”

“Why, Jax? We aren’t together.” I motioned between us. “This doesn’t work and seeing each other every morning doesn’t work either. It’s painful.”

“It is fucking painful, Peaches. I should be waking up to you every morning and making you that chai latte.”

“Oh, no.” I started to move toward the door but he stepped in front of me. “I am not doing this. We had our end. We can’t keep having it over and over.”

“You ended it because of your father. He’s out of the picture now. He’s fucking done.”

His words resonated with me. Like a dehydrated animal hearing the first drops of rain, I wanted to weep with relief.

The feeling was wrong. “You shouldn’t have done all that, Jax. You shouldn’t have spent your time and money to destroy him for me.”

“It wasn’t just for you. It was for myself. It had to be done. For both of us.”

His words nearly broke me. “That doesn’t erase everything, Jax.”

“I know.” He combed his hand through his hair. “It’s a start though. It’s a fucking base that might be cracked and messed up, but it’s something. We build from there. If not for us, then lets at least do it for my brother and family. We work in the same place here. We have to get along.”

I shook my head and set down the latte. “No way.” I pointed a finger at him. “You used that as a tool before to start this all up again. And look where that got us.”

He stalked toward me. “I’ll use whatever I have to. This isn’t over. It won’t ever be.”

I stepped around him and he let me pass. “I can’t talk about this. There’s nothing left to say. I have to get back to work.”

I walked onto the elevator and he let me go.

His blue eyes held deep determination as the doors closed. I knew our conversation wasn’t over.

After work, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open on the train. I sat at a window seat and leaned onto it as I closed my eyes.

Just as I was about to drift off to sleep, a familiar mint smell filled the air, and the hairs on my arms stood up.

An intoxicating voice whispered in my ear, “You shouldn’t ever sleep on a train, Whitfield.”

My eyes snapped open to see Jax sitting next to me. I had to lean back just to make sure I wouldn’t lean in instead. He looked so good wearing his suit pants with a button-down shirt that I knew had a suit jacket over it earlier in the day. Now, he sat there with his sleeves rolled up and looked at me with love in his stupid, perfect blue eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“We need to finish our conversation.”

“I already said we have nothing to talk about.”

“I figured you said that at work. That you would be able to talk after.”

I looked around and knew I couldn’t escape for the next hour. My resolve to avoid him was already cracking, and I didn’t know how I would withstand him for long. I moved to get up. I needed to put some distance between us.

He grabbed my bicep, the pleading look in his eyes made me stay. “I rewrote “Sweet Sin” for you.”

“I heard it at the launch.” I glared because the words he’d changed it to had been heartbreaking.

“No.” He pulled out his phone and two ear buds. He slid one in my ear and his hand lingered on my cheek. The spark as he touched me had me leaning into him before I could stop myself. “The lyrics that day were out of anger. This version, I wrote for you out of love. I love you, Peaches. I don’t ever say it right, but I mean it every time. Shit, woman, I mean it even when I don’t say it all.”

I rolled my lips between my teeth to hold onto the words I wanted to respond with. I loved him, I couldn’t stop loving him even if I wanted to. “I’m not strong enough to keep doing this, Jax.”

He took his hand from my face, and I felt the loss of warmth immediately. “Don’t be strong anymore, then. I’ll be strong for both of us.”

He turned on the song from his phone and sat back.

An acoustic guitar played at first, soft and sweet. We both stared ahead as the train rolled on.

When his voice came over the ear bud, it mixed with him there right beside me as he sang along.

“Sweet Sin, Sweet Sin. You pulled me in.

You’re my beacon in the night, won’t ever stop being my light.

I loved you before, ever more, ever more.

Sweet Sin, Sweet Sin, I love you now.

Stop fighting it. Just fight for this.

For this. For us.

Ever more, ever more.

Sweet Sin.”

He harmonized every word and people on the train started to turn and stare. His voice mixed joy and sorrow together and wove them up so beautifully, I didn’t know whether to cry or smile.

The guitar took over and he slid his hand to my thigh to rub circles as tears streamed down my face.

He stared at me staring at him. Then, he mouthed at me, “Okay?”

I nodded and mouthed back, “I love you.”