Does It Hurt?: Chapter 22

Nothing makes you feel more alive than being imprisoned within the ocean’s cold embrace.

My teeth chatter as I sit on the sandy bottom floor, tipping my chin up to the moon and allowing the ends of my hair to be tossed in the waves.

“What are you doing?” a deep, stern voice says from behind me.

I jump, not expecting him. After him leaving me naked on the bed last night, we’ve been avoiding one another since we awoke this morning. Or rather, I’ve been avoiding him. Every time we’re in the same room, he stares at me openly, but I’ve been too chickenshit to speak to him.

I’m still hurt, and I don’t even have the right to be. Enzo should hate me. I just don’t want him to.

“Having an existential crisis,” I answer mildly.

The sun has set, and we only have a couple of hours left before Sylvester locks us in the room. I needed to take advantage of my time left while I can. I walked to the opposite end of the island to get away, but I still didn’t feel any closer to freedom.

I stare up at the big ball in the sky that controls the body of water I’m treading in.

Screw Poseidon. I think there’s a lunar goddess above that deserves our worship and respect instead.

“Do you believe in aliens?” I ask.

“If you’ve seen some of the creatures that live in the ocean, it’s not much of a stretch to believe they exist elsewhere too.”

I smile. “Do you think I’d be happier if I lived in another world?”

His response isn’t immediate, but it stops my heart anyway. “Maybe. But I wouldn’t be.”

A soft breeze brushes across my chilled skin, eliciting another shiver to rack my body.

“Get out of the water, Sawyer,” he demands.

I turn to peek over my shoulder, noticing my green bathing suit top dangling in his hand. I’m still wearing my bottoms, but I wanted to feel the water across my skin.

“What will take me first? A sea creature or hypothermia?”

“You’d run from a sea creature,” he states dryly.

I chuckle, turning back to the moon. “You’re right. Hypothermia it is.”

“That won’t happen, either. I don’t think you’re ready to die.”

I shake my head. He’s wrong. I’ve been ready. I’ve just been too stubborn to give up doing the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Live.

“I’ve never feared death, Enzo. I’m only afraid to live and it all be for nothing.” A tear slips from my eye, despite my attempts to hold it back. “I’ve spent so much time running that I don’t remember why I’m living.”

Again, I turn my head over my shoulder to look at him. His jaw is shadowed with a beard, aging him just as deliciously as whiskey.

“Do you remember why you’re living?”

It takes him several moments to answer. “Even as a kid, I was angry at the world, and I was always told that I’d waste my life away if I settled into that anger. Of course, I didn’t care. And until recently, I stayed firm in that way of thinking. I didn’t care about life when I felt so goddamn worthless to the one who was supposed to love me most. Then you came around and stole it from me. Yet somehow, it feels like you gave it back instead.”

Heart in my throat, I spin to face him completely, trembling in the black water. It just barely covers my chest, yet it feels like I’m as exposed as if I were standing before him.

“I don’t see how. I’m broken, and everything I touch bleeds.”

Silently, he walks toward me, first his feet, then his legs being swallowed by the abyss. He doesn’t even seem to notice how cold the water is. I shudder again as he approaches, though it has nothing to do with the icy temperature and everything to do with the beast coming for me.

He crouches in front of me with a fierce look on his face. I’m tempted to rub my fingers across the harsh lines just to see if I can smooth them out.

Then, he leans in close, his soft lips brushing against my jawline.

“Do you know what attracts a predator to its prey, amore mio?”

“What?” I whisper.

“When it’s hurt,” he murmurs, placing a featherlight kiss on my jaw. “I love it when you’re hurt, baby, but only when it’s me who inflicts the pain.”

A whimper escapes as his teeth graze where his lips once were.

“You will heal, Sawyer. And as long as you are with me, you will never have to cause pain again. But when you are between my teeth, I will make you bleed. I will make you hurt instead.”

His fingers brush across my hardened nipple, and a gasp rips from my throat.

“That’s where you will find the meaning of life. And that’s where you will find a life with me worth living.”

“Why?” I whisper. “You couldn’t even say that you didn’t hate me.”

“Non ti odio, Sawyer,” he says roughly. “I wanted to say it was the truth when you asked if I hated you, but I couldn’t lie, so I said nothing. And every time I laid eyes on you today, all I could think was that I never really did.”

He pulls away enough to catch my watery gaze. “Choose to live, bella. Choose me.”

I bite my lip, unable to make myself say yes. But how could I possibly give him hope when I have no idea what my future holds?

He told me to stop lying, so I don’t. Instead, I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck, attempting to push him back. But he holds firm and instead wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up out of the cold water.

I’m not ready to walk away from the whispers of death, but something about the way Enzo holds me is so much more enticing.

He doesn’t know it, but in this very moment, I am choosing him.

He lays me down on the sand right at the water’s edge, allowing the waves to wash up around our legs, just to retreat again. The tremors in my body have metastasized, and goosebumps have invaded the entire surface of my skin.

Enzo begins to crawl over the top of me, but I stop him and trade places so he is sitting on the sand while I climb onto his lap. I’m too vulnerable, and if I don’t have a semblance of control, I’ll shatter.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t argue and lets me guide his shirt over his head, and then helps me slide his shorts down.

The icy water rolls up to our legs, but he radiates heat, only drawing me deeper into his body.

I’m wrapping my arms around his neck again, holding eye contact with his candescent eyes beneath the moonlight. His face is always set in such a fierce way, but out here, it only heightens his savagery.

I lick my dry lips and whisper, “Slide them to the side.”

Understanding my demand, his hands brush across my stomach, causing me to flinch as the icy water rolls up our legs, only heightening the intensity. I’m jittery, but I’m alive, and that’s enough right now.

His fingers move to my bottoms, sliding along the edge against my thigh and causing another shiver to cascade down my spine. His finger catches the edge and draws the fabric to the side, baring my pussy to the cold air.

Biting my lip, I reach between us and grab ahold of his cock. A sharp hiss reaches my ears, and that glorious snarl overtakes his face.

He’s most beautiful when he’s at his most primitive.

He dips his chin, leaning back just enough to give room for spit to stream from his mouth and directly onto the head of his cock. I spread the wetness across his tip.

I don’t waste any more time sliding the tip through my wet slit, earning another hiss before I seat myself on him.

Tension fills his muscles like air in a balloon, yet my body seems to go boneless. I can’t fit him inside me easily, but I welcome the pain.

“Does it hurt?” he rasps, knowing how fucking abrasive he is.

I shake my head. “Not enough,” I bite, forcing myself down until I’ve taken him completely, shivering from both the feel of him and the water.

My head kicks back, a soft moan slipping from my throat, spreading around us like fog.

His free hand slides up my stomach and cups my breast, squeezing firmly. I begin to rock my hips, angling them, so my clit rubs against his pelvis just right.

“I can make it hurt,” Enzo says, a dark promise coloring his deep voice.

“You will,” I say, dropping my head to meet his stare. “But only how I want it.”

There’s a fight on the tip of his tongue, so I roll my hips deeper, and his teeth clamp down on his bottom lip in response, a deep growl building in his chest.

I cover his hand on my breast with my own while I grip the back of his neck with the other, guiding his head toward me without severing our eye contact. His tongue darts out, laving at my hardened nipple before sucking it into his mouth.

My eyes flutter, and I roll my hips with more vigor.

Unable to contain the salacious smile on my face, I lean until my lips brush against his ear.

“Good boy,” I whisper.

Immediately, his teeth clamp down on my nipple in response—just the reaction I was hoping for.

“Yes,” I inhale sharply, the acute combination of pain and pleasure clashing in a battle of dominance over my body.

Almost uncontrollably, Enzo rips at my bathing suit bottoms, the strings no match for his urgency and easily unraveling. Flinging it to the side, both of his hands go straight to my ass, roughly sliding toward the juncture of my thighs, gripping my flesh harshly and urging my hips faster.

He trades between soothing the sting of his bite on my nipple with his tongue, only to revive the pain with his teeth.

Cries fall from my lips, the pleasure building deep in my stomach addicting. I’m chasing after it, desperate to hold on to this for as long as I can but unable to slow and savor it.

“More,” I plea. “More pain.”

Releasing my abused peak, he fists my hair tightly and pushes upward until he’s on his knees, and I’m balanced on his thighs. I’m forced to plant both hands on the sinking sand behind me, the grains pulled from beneath me as the wave retreats. I’m barely stable enough to keep upright as he begins to power into me.

My mouth falls open on a moan, granting him easy access to let go of my hair and instead hook his finger in my bottom jaw, holding me in place.

My eyes begin to roll when he hits a particular spot inside me. But the moment I do, a sharp crack fills the air, followed by a searing burn across my cheek.

“Eyes on me, Sawyer,” he demands hotly.

There’s a moment of shock that he slapped me, but my body responds in a carnal way. My back bows and the bliss sharpens. The cry that follows is one born out of pure gratification.

Another wave rushes over my fingers, and I curl them into the sand. The freezing water and the sharp, broken seashells digging into my skin only intensify the moment.

His cock hits deep inside me, and I can feel my pussy flooding around him. Deliberately, I close my eyes, smiling around the digit hooked in my mouth as he fucks me harder.

On cue, he’s delivering another harsh slap with his free hand, this time to the side of my breast. I shudder, crowing at the sensation.

Fuck, it feels so good, and I’m tempted to glue my eyes shut just so he never stops. I’m getting so close to exploding, and I begin to meet each of his thrusts, seeking more.

“Tell me the truth, bella. Do you think you’ll still be smiling when the pain becomes too much?” he murmurs darkly, his tone full of challenge.

Instead of answering, I sink my teeth into his fingers, imparting my own brand of pain and welcoming the consequences, ensuring to grin widely while I do.

He retreats from my mouth and roughly grips my cheeks between his fingers, jerking me into his face.

“If you wanted me to make you smile, all you had to do was ask.”

He grabs ahold of my hips and lifts me off him, a protest quickly building on my tongue. For a few seconds, I’m scared he’s going to stop. But then I realize how stupid it was to fear such a thing. Enzo will never stop hurting me.

He’s forcing me to twist around, seating me back onto his cock, but this time, I have a full view of the black ocean.

There’s a seashell cutting into my knee on the sand, but it’s yet another pain that I welcome.

“Sorridi, piccola,” he orders, hooking his pointer and middle fingers in each side of my cheek and pulling back hard enough to mold my spine to his front.

I gasp, the action beginning in discomfort and morphing into something more agonizing. He stretches them until what feels like every single tooth in my mouth is on display.

And then he restarts his movements, driving into me and using my cheeks as leverage to keep me in place.

Gargled moans are the only thing I’m capable of while Enzo drags his lips across the side of my temple. My eyes are rolling, my pussy pulsing with euphoria as he works me expertly. His proximity alone is intoxicating, but feeling him use my body in such a savage way has me vibrating with desire.

“That’s such a pretty smile, bella,” he purrs. A tear leaks from my eye, right where his mouth resides. His tongue darts out, catching the droplet.

“What’s wrong?” he mocks, pulling tighter until I squeal. “Does it hurt?”

Despite how deeply my face aches, I’m consumed by the quickly building orgasm low in my stomach. My limbs tremble from the threat of it, eager to be devastated by something other than my own self-loathing.

I nod, drool beginning to pool past my lips and trail down my chin. The noises that follow are uncontrollable, their pitch heightening as he brings me closer.

“Clean your hands off in the water when it washes up, then rub your clit for me. I want to watch you come with such a big smile on your face.”

Almost mindlessly, I wait for the cold water to roll around my legs so I can rinse the sand from my fingers, then move them between my thighs and rub my clit, slipping from how soaked I’ve become. But I’m relentless in my pursuit, and soon I’m reaching the precipice.

“That’s it, you love being a good girl for me, don’t you, baby?” he drawls. “Just like you love coming all over my cock like a desperate little slut.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling another tear slip loose right as the orgasm hits. My hand on my clit freezes as every muscle in my body seizes, unable to move as a storm rolls through it.

I cry out, feeling Enzo wrap an arm around my stomach and bar me against him. I lose all sense of time and space as I’m transported into an entirely different dimension.

A tsunami could sweep us away in this very moment, and I’d be safe from the carnage. I’m no longer wherever I was, I’m only where I should be.

It feels like days pass by the time my consciousness slowly creeps in, grabbing my hand and guiding me back down to earth.

Behind me, Enzo is rolling his hips sensually, working me through the orgasm, his own muscles strained.

My bones are jelly, but my body is instantly hyperaware of his. He’s so close to releasing himself, and his speed is picking up again, feeling my comedown.

With what little strength I have left, I wait until he’s right on the edge and then tear myself from his grip, catching him by surprise.

I twist, grab him by the throat and practically tackle him to the sandy floor.

He falls easily, caught off guard, but my window is minuscule.

His hazel eyes are wide as I position myself between his spread legs, grabbing his drenched cock in my hands and peeking up at him through my lashes.

“You were so close to coming, and I denied you, didn’t I?” Anger flashes across his eyes and the corner of my lips curl upward. “Does it hurt, baby?”

He snaps toward me, but I’m faster, wrapping my mouth around the tip of his cock and sucking harshly, tasting myself on him as I do. His fingers plunge through my curls, fisting them tightly, and I plant my hands on his hips, denying him control.

“Fuck, Sawyer, keep testing me. Your smile is only pretty because of those teeth. I’d hate to see them missing.”

His threat widens my grin, and I look up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

“I’m a desperate little slut and want to feel you come down my throat.”

I’m staring into two pits of golden molten lava as he tightens his hand in my hair, keeping me immobile as he roughly grabs his dick and slides the tip across my lips.

“Good sluts ask nicely,” he murmurs, biting his lip when I stick out my tongue, prompting him to slap his cock on it.

I wrap my hand around his wrist and tip my chin back far enough to rasp, “I never said I was good. I said I was desperate.”

Then, I’m sucking him back into my mouth, despite his grip on my hair. He groans loudly, growling when I graze my teeth along his sensitive flesh, then use my tongue to lave at the underside of his tip.

I put everything I have into giving him pleasure, drool pooling on his stomach as I suck and lick him with fervor.

It doesn’t take long before I have him close to the edge again, his muscles once more locking up. His cock swells in my mouth, and he starts pumping his hips, his head sliding farther down the back of my throat with his thrusts.

“Fuck, just like that, baby. Suck it hard—fuck, yes, yes, yes,” he chants. His head kicks back; only his strong throat is visible as he erupts.

He shouts, his chin snapping back down to his chest so he can watch me swallow every drop. Mouth parted, and his brows lowered over his eyes, his entire body vibrates from the force, and it feels like I can’t drink him down fast enough.

Finally, he forces me away, becoming overstimulated.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he pants, staring at me with wide eyes. I just wipe my mouth clean of the slobber painted all over my chin.

There’s an intensity radiating from him, and it’s triggering all those typical flight responses. I stand on shaky legs, and his brow furrows with confusion, assumingly sensing my retreat. I stall by grabbing my bathing suit and slipping it back on. All the while, his stare burns through me.

“I’m going to choose to live because I refuse to die for Kevin. But the life I’ve chosen for myself is something I have to suffer through alone, Enzo.”

He just glares, jaw clenched so tightly that the muscle is bursting from his cheek.

Before I lose my nerve, I rush toward the lighthouse, dreading the moment I’m locked in our room with him.

I asked him to hurt me, but it seems I’ve done a far better job of it.