Does It Hurt?: Chapter 36

My heart has formed little fists, and they’re banging against my rib cage, demanding to be let out.

Enzo is standing ahead of me, a slight impression of a dimple in his cheek as he peers over his shoulder at me. Mirth radiates from his hazel eyes, and I’m tempted to poke them.

“Why the hell is Senile Suzy in your driveway?” I squeak, my tone bordering on hysterical. Right before me is my big, yellow Volkswagen van in all its glory, gleaming beneath the sunlight.

He quirks a brow. “You never said why you chose that name,” he deflects.

“She’s a goddamn imbecile and moody as fuck. Why is she here?”

“Because this is where she belongs. This is where you belong.”

I curl my bottom lip between my teeth, tears welling in my eyes.

“How did you find her?” I ask, the words raspy and uneven.

He shrugs casually. “After you fell asleep at the hospital, a nurse let me use her phone, and I called to make sure it was still parked at Valen’s Bend. It was, so I had my friend, Troy, retrieve it for me and bring it here.”

I laugh, because if I don’t, I’ll cry. The fact that he remembered where I parked it is enough to have my ovaries exploding.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I choke out.

“Didn’t I say it would be waiting for you? Don’t ever doubt what I would do for you, Sawyer.” He doesn’t let me answer, not that I’d have one for him anyway.

Bottom lip trembling, I say, “Is it too late to add you to my list of things that make me happy? Doesn’t matter, I’m adding you to it anyway.”

A dimple appears in his cheek, and he stares at me as if he already knew that. Nodding toward his house, he murmurs, “Come, bella.”

I take a single step before my joints lock, my feet glued to the ground and unable to move. When he catches sight of my inability to function, the dimple on his other cheek appears.

“What’s funny?” I mutter, my gaze pinned to the house.

“Why are you so nervous to enter our home? Shouldn’t it be me?”

“No,” I grumble. Sweat is beginning to gather in my pits, and my brain is looping back to him saying our home and getting stuck there.

Clearly, I’m still very much ashamed of what I did the last time he brought me here. And what’s even more unsettling about this situation is that he wants me to stay.

Because for some godforsaken reason, Enzo decided I was worth loving. I think he hit his head too hard when we shipwrecked and lost his mind, yet I’m too selfish to let him go.

We both lost pieces of ourselves that day. But as time passed while stuck in that lighthouse, we slowly merged our remaining scattered pieces until we made more sense together than we did apart.

There’s no doubt Enzo is worth loving, and though it terrifies me, I’m no longer willing to run away from it.

He stops before the front door, turning to me fully, his eyes glinting in the sunlight.

“What?” I snap, though it’s missing heat.

A grin slides onto his face, and the hands banging within my chest freeze. My heart and I are paralyzed by that simple action, which is honestly annoying.

“You know I forgive you, right?” he asks.

I sniff. “I don’t think you’ve ever said the words, but yes.”

He takes a step toward me, slips two fingers into my mouth, and jerks me into him, effectively arresting the oxygen in my lungs right along with my heart.

“I forgive you, bella. And now I’m going to need you to forgive yourself. Can you do that for me, baby?”

I melt. Just that easily.

Unable to speak, I nod, relaxing my shoulders while he releases me.

“Good, now let’s go take a hot shower with actual water pressure, and then we’re ordering takeout from wherever you want.”

Unexpectedly, a sob nearly bursts from my throat. It’s so simple—a shower and takeout—but it feels like he’s leading me into paradise.

Enzo’s hands dive into my hair, lathering the shampoo into the strands while massaging my scalp.

I’ve missed water pressure. After spending all day at the police station, I thought I’d never get to relax. But now, my bones are liquefying, and I’m on the verge of swirling down the drain with the water.

“If I died right here and now,” I start, the last word bleeding into a groan. “I’d actually be upset. You should be proud of yourself. You made me want to live.”

I didn’t mean for that to be so heavy, but Enzo shoulders it easily.

“Seems we’re even then,” he says, his deep voice as smooth as silk.

“If you’re up for it, I’d like to show you my lab tomorrow,” he continues, grabbing my biceps to pull me back into the spray of water, careful to keep my casted wrist out of it. I tilt my chin up as he rinses out the soap.

“I’d love to,” I murmur, groaning again from the feel of his hands in my hair.

“I don’t think you ever told me why you love sharks so much.”

He releases me, grabs a loofah, and squirts a dollop of body wash onto it. Methodically, he washes every inch of my skin while he speaks.

“I suppose at first it was because I wanted to be like one. They are some of the fiercest creatures in the ocean—at least that we know of. And growing up, I always felt helpless. Like someone else was in the driver’s seat, and I had no control over where I was going. They embodied power and freedom. It was everything I strived for.

“As I grew older, it evolved from fascination to near obsession. I can’t explain what exactly it is, but they’ve always just made me happy. The ocean makes me happy.”

I bite my lip, turning to him and grabbing the loofah from him. With my good hand, I awkwardly rub it across his chest, uncoordinated with this side.

“Do you ever get worried that they’ll hurt you?”

His stare is smoldering as he watches me, and though his dick isn’t fully hard, he’s not entirely soft, either. But there’s an unspoken agreement to just enjoy each other’s company tonight. We haven’t truly gotten a chance to yet.

“I always get into the water with the understanding that I’m no longer on the top of the food chain. I respect them, and most times, they respect me. But it’d be stupid to think they’re not fully capable of ending my life.”

There’s a twinge in my chest, and I recognize it as anxiety. I would never even think to ask Enzo to stop swimming with them, but I can’t deny that him never coming home one day doesn’t terrify the shit out of me.

“Well, you better get in the water with the understanding that you have someone to come home to also,” I tell him shyly, keeping my eyes focused on my task and avoiding his probing stare.

“Look at me,” he murmurs softly, grabbing my wrist. “Don’t run.”

I bite my lip and peek up at him. There are some growing pains when you’ve never been in love before. I’ve lived my life selfishly for the past six years and have run from everything that posed a threat to my survival. It’s almost poetic that getting trapped with someone was the catalyst to my redemption.

It’s not something I’m used to yet, but I know that one day soon, loving Enzo will come as naturally as the way he loves the ocean. The way he loves me.

Energy crackles in the air between us as he pulls me close to him, still conscious of my injured wrist.

“You don’t ever have to worry about that. I’ll sooner pry open the jaws of a shark if it means I’ll be coming home to you.”

Too choked up to respond, I reach up on my toes and capture his lips with my own, feeling the energy around us combust. With his tall stature, he has to bend at the waist for me to reach.

I’m swept away by the feel of his mouth moving expertly against mine. Enzo doesn’t kiss—he devours, just like the beasts he swims alongside.

His tongue dips into my mouth, curling behind my teeth before stroking against my own. Tingles begin at the tips of my fingers and spread throughout every inch of me until my insides are reduced to static.

I need more of him. Need him so much closer until there’s nothing between us but our own desire.

I hook my left arm around his neck, molding his slippery body against mine. I feel every divot and curve against the softened parts of me, and I shudder from the feel of it—of him.

His cock is impossibly hard and thick, sliding against my lower stomach, and just as I’m ready to say fuck the no sex thing, he pulls away.

I mewl in response, too disappointed by the loss of him to be embarrassed.

“We’ve had a long month, amore mio. Let’s get some food in your stomach and relax, yeah?”

“I have a really bad joke about putting something else in my stomach, but let’s not go there.” Just as the words slip from my tongue, my eyes widen. “Wow, I so meant your dick, but that sounded even worse out loud.”

He chuckles, the sound deep and delicious, causing a shiver to roll down my spine.

“You don’t want babies?” he questions, turning off the water, then handing me a towel. Maybe it’s the accent, but something about the way he asked that is criminal.

As if a fire is quite literally licking my ass cheeks, I hightail it out of the stall.

“Hell no,” I say, wiping the water off my face before wringing out my hair.

I turn right as he steps out of the shower, droplets cascading across his tanned skin, clinging to the fine dusting of hair on his chest, and getting lost in the divots in his stomach. My mouth dries.

“Okay, maybe.”

Both dimples are on full display as he stares at me from beneath hooded eyes.

“All it takes is the tip, bella.”