By Fate I Conquer: Chapter 10

My heart beat frantically, the noises around me pulsating in my head, whooshing in my ears, chasing my pulse. Then the first cords filled the theater and I briefly closed my eyes. I lost myself to the music, to the feel of the stage beneath my feet. I breathed in the warm air, let it fill me with purpose. The rattling of the Metro and the honking of the taxis soon faded to the background. I forgot about the many judgmental looks that wanted to take apart every move until all that made this so beautiful was washed away.

I’d danced Giselle Act 1 Variation countless times. It was one of my absolute favorite ballets but I’d never felt it as deeply as I did today. The deep infatuation of Giselle, her happiness when she was with Albrecht. Then later when the harsh truth burst through the heroine’s bubble of innocence, her franticness in every twirl and jump as she realized the hopelessness of her love.

On the last accord of the piece I stopped, my breathing fast but at the same time I felt beautifully calm.

I opened my eyes, taking in my surroundings, and noticed someone in one of the back rows. No one ever sat there during rehearsals. The trainers and my fellow dancers either watched from the front row or from backstage.

Heat filled my cheeks and my belly. In my mind I’d danced for him without even knowing he was there.

Amo sat in the second to last row, shrouded in shadows so I couldn’t see his expression. My heart jolted, filling with a longing I could hardly explain. The teacher clapped her hands once, ripping me from the moment.

I turned to her. She motioned a boy called Mika forward. He was a couple of years younger than me. Tension filled my body. Dancing with others was and had always been the hurdle I had trouble jumping over. It was what was holding me back, why I preferred to dance alone at night, even if my old teacher had once said I was wasting a precious talent.

But if I wanted any chance at becoming part of this ballet program, I’d have to dance with a partner. It was why I’d originally intended to cancel this rehearsal and when I’d flown to New York, I’d still been convinced I wouldn’t dance at all, only try to meet with Amo. I hadn’t known he’d come here. He hadn’t contacted me since our phone call but I’d known he’d find a way to see me. I’d had absolute faith.

But now as I stood on stage, I wanted to give it my all, even if it required a major mental effort. I knew why Nevio and Dad had allowed me to come here. Because they knew I’d never make the program. Nevio knew me better than I knew myself, every fear and every longing.

I knew his darkness and he knew mine.

Mika held out his hand, palm upward, his expression focused, barely taking me in. I hesitated. After almost a minute, his expression became confused. I forced my arm to move until my hand rested on his. His skin was too warm and clammy. The floor pressed too hard against my soles and the AC whistled in my ears. The smell of sweat and dust and old rubber clogged my nose. My heart and pulse pounded too loudly.

I swallowed and even that sound rang too loud in my ears.

“Ready?” Mika asked, and I flinched as the sound echoed in my head.

Too much. But I nodded anyway. I had come here and I would do my best. Dancing was my passion. It helped me whenever everything felt too much. It calmed the chaos in my head when nothing else could. I wouldn’t give up without giving it my all.

Amo

Watching Greta dance took my fucking breath away every time.

How could one girl be so beautiful and graceful?

I ignored the occasional glance from ballet dancers and their families. Fear mingled with curiosity on their faces. Maybe they thought I was Greta’s bodyguard. Fabiano managed to look less suspicious than me. If they even knew who she was. Greta was someone who didn’t seek the spotlight even if she belonged there.

When the ballet instructor asked Greta to dance with a male partner, I sat up straighter. Not because I was jealous of the guy because he definitely was fishing in a different pond than me. No. Even from afar I could see how uncomfortable Greta felt. My protectiveness roared its ugly head. I didn’t have any right to be protective. At least not like this, not in this deep sense. Greta had her own protection waiting outside for her and also in the front. Seeing Greta’s obvious discomfort at having to touch her dance partner I got why Nevio wasn’t here in the theater. Considering his lack of control and penchant for violent outbursts, the male dancer would already have been history.

Greta’s expression became tighter and tighter as the dance began and the guy touched her hip. Fuck, it took all my self-control to stop me from rushing to the front and putting a stop to this bullshit.

Fabiano didn’t react, and if I did and acted like a protective bulldozer, he’d undoubtedly get suspicious. Neither Greta nor I could really risk that. So far he didn’t even know I was here. I’d come in after he’d settled on his seat in the front.

To be honest, I still couldn’t believe Greta was really here. When she’d told me a week ago that she’d be in New York for a dance rehearsal at Juillard, I’d thought it was to get me off her back. But now she was here and the way she’d danced would haunt me until the day I died. It was otherworldly, passionate and so unbelievably graceful.

The guy put his hands on her waist to lift her off the ground but Greta jerked away and shook her head. “I can’t.”

“You have to do a couple dance to apply for the program.”

“I know,” Greta pressed out with a tight smile, backing away from the guy. “It’s okay. Thank you for the chance.”

She turned around, gave Fabiano a quick glance that made him sit back down and she headed backstage. I wasn’t really surprised that she didn’t want him to console her. That guy was as cold as a dead fish. Mom always told me he used to be very different, but I only knew this version of my uncle.

I got up and went back the way I’d come in but took a detour that led me behind the stage. As usual I’d studied the layout of the building before I’d set foot inside of it. It was a habit that would probably one day save my life. Today it guaranteed that I’d find Greta without Fabiano being the wiser. I knew our time was limited. Fabiano had probably already alerted Nevio and it was only a matter of time before the latter would come in to get his sister.

If he found me anywhere near her…

I knocked at the female dressing room and after a moment a redhead opened the door, her gaze slowly rising from my chest up to my face. Her eyes grew wide and her face flushed.

“I need to talk to the girl who just left stage, black hair, about this height.” I motioned at my chest.

“She’s not here. She just rushed through.”

I turned, not waiting for more. I glanced around the dimly lit hallways leading to several storage rooms. I began to search the area and found Greta in a dark corner at the back of the hallway, her back pressed against the wall, her head bent down. She almost looked as if she were in a trance.

She tensed when I moved closer.

“It’s me, Amo.”

She didn’t look up or acknowledge my presence in any way.

“Are you all right? Do you want me to get Fabiano or your brother?” I really wasn’t fond of the idea, and it would end in a mess but if Greta needed them, I’d do it.

“I came here for quiet to calm down.”

I nodded. “You want me to leave?”

I couldn’t imagine leaving her like this. Every fiber of my body screamed to go closer, to comfort her with my touch. Fuck. That was the last thing she needed. The last thing I should do.

Her head rose and she fixed me with her dark eyes. “No.”

I moved closer until I stood right in front of her. She was really here. She tilted her head back to keep up eye contact. “Do you want me to have a word with the dance instructor? I’m sure there’s a way around the partner dance.”

Greta smiled slightly. “Partner dances are a crucial part of ballet.”

“But it’s your dream to dance. You just give up even though I could help you get a spot in Juillard if that’s what you really wanted.”

Dad would kick my ass. The Falcones probably too. Not to mention that it would look hella suspicious if I helped Greta. But she’d be in New York.

Fuck.

And then what?

I was still supposed to marry Cressida. She had completely ignored my dishonorable stunt in the Sphere. She’d probably even accept me fucking someone in front of her. She wanted to become my wife, no matter the price.

Greta’s smile brightened. And fuck, seeing it, I would have promised her the world. What was this girl doing to me?

“I love to dance. But on stage today I realized something very important. Doing this program won’t make me love ballet more. My love for ballet isn’t linked to being on stage, possibly quite the contrary. Dancing is my happy place, it gives me comfort and quiets the static in my head. Doing this program would have made me anxious about dancing, would have eventually made me loathe and fear something that means so much. That’s not really worth it, do you think?”

I shook my head, once again amazed by her way of thinking. I loved how she described her feelings about ballet. “So you’re okay?”

“I will be,” she said softly. “I’m sad now.”

I took another step closer, forgetting myself, forgetting everything else too.

“I didn’t expect you to be here today.”

“I told you I had to see you. I couldn’t wait for a better moment,” I said, throwing caution to the wind. I wasn’t even sure what was going on anymore. We were close now, closer than Mika had been, but we weren’t touching.

She didn’t look scared, which didn’t make sense. If a gay, skinny dancer had made her tense on a stage surrounded by people, then being alone with me in this dark corridor should have sent her body into overdrive.

“Am I too close?” I asked gruffly.

Greta simply stared at me. I wished I knew what was going on in her mind, if she felt as unhinged when I was close as I did whenever I saw her. She looked absolutely irresistible in her leotard and tutu. It was something I’d never given a second glance, but this girl in front of me made me weak in the knee looking like she did.

Her words about kissing me crossed my mind and this was the worst possible moment for them to pop up. I was alone with Greta and she wasn’t telling me to back off.

Maybe I was reading her wrong, but I didn’t think I was. Then again I’d never been with a girl like Greta.

“I’m going to do something I shouldn’t do, Greta. Something I swore I wouldn’t do. If you don’t stop me,” I growled.

Greta swallowed, but she didn’t move, didn’t say anything.

I cupped her cheeks in both of my hands, cradling her soft skin, locking eyes with hers. She held my gaze, her breath fanning sweetly over my face. I ran my thumbs over her cheekbones, searching her eyes. Those soulful dark kind eyes that always gripped me by the heart and didn’t let go.

“If you don’t say something…” I trailed off and lowered my lips to hers. I wanted to claim her as mine. I wanted her with every furious pump of my heart. The moment our lips touched my body flushed with heat and my pulse raced in my veins, and everything fell into place. Her lips were the softest I’d ever felt. I wanted this kiss, this moment, to last forever.

Every kiss, every touch, everything faded into meaninglessness.

Greta’s eyes fluttered shut and she covered my hands with her much smaller ones, keeping me in place. It was all the encouragement I needed. I nudged her lips with my tongue. She parted for me and her tongue met mine hesitantly. A low rumble echoed in my chest as I tasted her, a hint of mint and chocolate, unbelievably addicting. It was a slow, sensual kiss. No urgency even if our time was limited. I wanted to savor every second of this. One of my hands moved from her cheek to the back of her head.

Slowly I pulled away, even as my body screamed for more, for another taste, another touch, simply more. Greta’s dark eyes locked on mine, her lips parted, chest heaving. “You kissed me,” she said in wonder.

“Yeah.” The world around us slowly began to come back into focus. I’d kissed Greta Falcone in a dark corridor, with Fabiano and her brother nearby.

My palm still rested on her cheek and her palm on top of it. “You swore you’d never do this. Why? Because of Cressida?”

I chuckled bitterly. A good man would have felt qualms about this because of his fiancée but I didn’t. Cressida meant nothing to me, neither did I to her. We both knew why we were going to marry. Feelings, especially love had nothing to do with it.

“No,” I murmured. “She’s inconsequential. I swore to never do this because you’re a woman who doesn’t deserve to have her first kiss stolen in a dark corridor as a dirty secret.”

“Am I your dirty secret?”

The timbre in her soft voice sent a shiver down my back. What was she? Fuck me if I knew. She was everything I wanted. I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I could hardly breathe when she was gone and I could hardly breathe when she was close. Her dark eyes sucked me into their abyss. With one look out of those doe-eyes she held me captive. I’d never felt this way. Did she even realize what she’d done? She’d pried my ribs open and held onto my heart with her elegant fingers.

A simple kiss had enforced my longing, had made it a thousand times worse. I shouldn’t have done it, but seeing her again, watching her dance, I lost it. Kissing her had been like a fucking rebirth. She’d been sweet and lovely like I’d known she’d be.

Greta wasn’t a girl that should be kissed in the shadows, like a dark secret. She deserved to be center stage. Guilt had no place in my life, but kissing Greta in the dark as if she were nothing but an affair made me feel like dirt. This woman before me deserved so much better than what I could give her.

“What now?” I rasped.

Greta smiled sadly. “I don’t know.”

“You could stay here with me.”

“I belong in Las Vegas.”

You belong with me.

“When will you return to Las Vegas?”

“In two days. Since this is my first trip to New York, I wanted some time to discover the city.”

In two days already. Too fucking soon.

“Fabiano’s invited to dinner at your parents’ house tomorrow night. Fabiano said I could come as well. I think he’s worried Nevio will get me in trouble. But Nevio would have to stay away.”

Mom must have spent days convincing Dad of that dinner. He and Fabiano still couldn’t stand each other. And it really wasn’t a surprise that Dad didn’t want Nevio under his roof.

“Will you be there?” Greta asked.

“If you come, I’ll be there as well.”

“Then I’ll ask Fabiano to take me with him.” The thought that Nevio would be roaming the streets, my fucking streets without anyone to control him didn’t sit well with me, but if this gave me the chance to see Greta again…

But a family dinner didn’t give us much time to be alone. Everyone would be watching, especially Fabiano. “Is there any way you can sneak out to meet me tonight?”

Greta worried her lower lip. “We have the presidential suite but with separate rooms.”

“I know. You have the entire floor in the Mandarin Oriental.”

“Fabiano made sure the hotel staff locks the stairwell to our floor and to get off the elevator on our floor you need a keycard. Nobody’s allowed to go up or down without notifying Fabiano.”

I smirked. “I’m sure Fabiano gave the staff those orders. But New York is my city, not his, and my word trumps his by far. If you can get out of your room and make sure neither Fabiano nor your brother notice, then I can get you down to the lobby and out of the hotel.”

Greta thought about it for a while and I was sure she’d say no. Finally, a small determined smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “I’ll find a way.”

“Good,” I murmured, leaning down for another kiss. “Meet me at midnight in the stairwell, okay?”

“What are we going to do? We can’t go out and I didn’t pack anything fancy.”

“I’ll think off something, don’t worry.” Then a thought crossed my mind. “Can you wear your ballet clothes? I’d love if you could give me a private dance.”

Greta’s smile broadened and she nodded.

Heavy steps rang out. I leaned down quickly and pressed another kiss to Greta’s lovely lips before I pulled away and disappeared in the shadows, slipping away before we got caught together.