46. Disclosure of the Truth

Even if it was my fault, but Ashar should take some blame too. He was the one who provoked me to go crazy. He didn't let me work in peace, took me to the meeting without my permission and also forced me to sit in his car when I told him I didn't want to go with him. There's a limit to person's tolerance level after all. so, it was not entirely my fault.

I wanted to ask few more questions, but Zoya scurried to me and returned my phone, so I stopped my interrogation and thought would resume later on.

"Let's go to bed now." I requested to her once again.

She shook her head, "No."

"Little princess, listen to your Mom." Ashar said in a soft tone while connecting his mobile phone with a power bank. He switched on his phone and started tapping and moving his finger against the screen.

"No, I don't want to sleep." Zoya responded the same answer in a very low voice, looking at the floor.

I sighed. Seemed like she was in no mood to listen to me.

Ashar put his phone down and turned to her, "Why? What's the matter?"

The corners of her lips curved down as she expressed her concern in the same low, hesitant voice, "I know you'll leave if I go to bed."

Ashar put his palm on top of her head, stroking it, "I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave my Zoya ever."

I leaned back in my chair, and observed the father-daughter endearing moment silently. I wanted to know what kind of technique he was going to use to convince the toddler.

"Will you listen to me now?" Ashar questioned to her.

Zoya overlapped her bottom lip over her top lip and formed a sulky pout and gave a pleading look to her father.

So, it was not just me. Ashar also couldn't convince her.

"Fine, then. I'm leaving." He threatened Zoya in a raspy voice, standing on his feet and grabbed his phone.

She got scared and instantly hugged his lower thigh, "No, Daddy. Please don't go. I'm going to bed."

Okay I was wrong, he did it. A small smile touched Ashar's lips, probably after seeing Zoya's cuteness. He immediately tightened his lips to hid his smile and grabbed her shoulder, "That's like my little princess."

Zoya stepped back and stretched her lips into a full smile when she saw Ashar sat on the chair again. I literally felt like a third wheel among them that I was not needed here. Ashar didn't need me in looking after Zoya.

I was amazed to see the father-daughter bonding. That was adorable. It gave me the glimpse of the past three years that how Ashar would've taken care of Zoya all that time. Whatever habits she had now, how she looked like, it's all because of him. He would've taught her how to communicate, walk, and eat and a lot more.

I shouldn't be calling myself her mother when I didn't play any part in her brought up. Invisible tears burned my eyes at the realization. I should be grateful to Ashar for taking care of Zoya in the best possible way.

"I'm not leaving my Zoya. I'm listening to her so she should listen to me." Ashar pulled her cheek.

She gave a toothy smile to him, jumping in happiness, "Okay."

Zoya came to me and placed her hand on my thigh. I distractedly nodded my head and brought her to the room. She jumped on the bed and positioned the pillow and comforter by herself and immediately hid herself in the comforter.

I guessed she was still scared of Ashar's threat.

"Good night, Mommy."

I sat on the bed from the other side, stroking her forehead, "Good night, Baby."

💙

When Zoya succumbed to sleep, I silently walked out of the room and saw Ashar was sitting at the same chair, scrolling down his phone's screen.

I sauntered to him and stood in front to get his attention. He looked up at me, placing his phone down on the table, "Did she sleep?"

"Why?"

He lifted up his brows in confusion, rising on his feet.

"Why did you wait for me? Why you stayed in the lockup when you could come out of it?"

"Because," He rubbed his temples, sighing, "I got angry on one of the cops because he kept provoking me so he got angrier and confiscated my phone and even locked me in a cell with real criminals to punish me."

"What..." I trailed off.

"I really had a horrible time there. You've no idea how impatiently I waited for you because you were the only one who knew where I could be." He exhaled out a loud breath, "I'm tired now."

I moved my face to my side, trying to picture the scenarios that could have happen to him. Those criminals would've looked very scary.

"Did you fight with any of the constables there?" I whispered a question.

"No. I just had few arguments with them. But, yes I fought with those psychopath criminals to save myself." He answered.

"I'm sorry." I did what little I could do to assuage my guilt, "I didn't kn-ow that it could lead to a big trouble."

I sincerely apologized to him and now waiting for him to shout at me, call me names. The anger that he was probably suppressing in front of Zoya could come out any minute now.

He puckered his lips thoughtfully and gave me a slight nod, "It's okay. You saved me anyway. I just want to make a single request, don't charge me for harassment again in future. The police was very angry on me. Other than that, I've no complains."

I stared at him in utter disbelief. He was supposed to be screaming at me, "Aren't you angry on me? I mean, you faced a lot of trouble because of me."

"Nope." He shook his head in negative, "I'm not angry. I told you I'll accept all your punishments."

Here he started again, talking the same bullshit that gave me chills. I was really having a peaceful time in his absence.

He stepped towards me, leaned down to level with my height, "I'm happy to know that you still care for me after what I've put you through."

A wave of surprise swept over my face at his words. His haggard gaze was full of warm emotions that hitched my breath. I knew he was once again teasing me, but why his eyes showing something else.

I looked away and whispered, "You should go now. It's late."

"No."

My gaze moved back to him.

"You heard Zoya. I can't break my promise to her." He said innocently.

"I can't accept that. You go now."

"Please, I'll leave in the morning after showing my face to Zoya. Besides, I'm a bit tired. I've no more energy to move a foot now." He pouted.

I hissed, "Can't you see I don't have a spare room?"

"It's not a problem. I'll sleep on the floor. Just a spare pillow and comforter will be enough."

I widened my eyes at him, "Don't you have any problem sleeping on the floor?"

"No, Baby. Remember I was in the lockup? I slept on the cold floor for three nights." He tried to make a sad face.

Ugh. He was really trying to act cute in front of me and I couldn't even say it was not working on me. But, I was more astounded than to feel any other emotion right now because he was full of surprises and acting against my anticipations totally.

He was supposed to be acting arrogant, showing off his wealth, power to me. That's how I expected him to behave. That's how he used to treat me in the past. The Ashar I knew would never be ready to sleep on the floor.

"Hey?" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

I gave him a quizzical look.

"Can you please lend me the pillow and comforter? I'm very tired, baby." He repeated, faking a yawn.

"Don't call me that. I'm not your baby." I snapped.

"Sorry, it just comes out unconsciously." He shrugged.

"Fuck off." I muttered. He chuckled.

Irritably, I went to my room and came back to him with a spare pillow and quilt.

He accepted them and said, "Thanks."

I rolled my eyes and returned to my room.

💙

Two hours had passed and I couldn't sleep, still disoriented about the entire situation and Ashar's weird behavior. His politeness, gentlemanly behavior escalated my mortification as if he was a saint and I was a sinner. That's not how I supposed to feel after what he did to me, but that's the thing, that's my nature. I couldn't stop caring, I couldn't requite the hate I had received from people. But, I knew how to protect myself from another heartbreak.

I rose to the sitting position on my bed and tried to imagine the circumstances that he had to face in the prison. Those criminals definitely tried to harm him. The scars on his face and knuckles were expressing it. He didn't even complain about my stupid act. I bit my thumbnail in anxiety.

The fact that he was sleeping on the uncomfortable, rough floor outside my room made me more restless. I felt the urge to check on him for once whether he was okay or not. Maybe, one of his wounds could be hurting him.

I got out of the bed and took miniature steps towards the door. My apartment had only one room, a small bathroom and a so-called kitchen. Few steps away from my room there was a kitchen counter, two cabinets and a mini refrigerator. For a lounge where Ashar was sleeping, it had only beige, velvet two-seater couch. It was not a standard size of two-seater, but small. A grownup could not sleep on it.

Peeking outside from my room's door, I stepped out of the room and closed the door behind slowly. There was only a dull, yellow LED bulb was on that was on the kitchen side. The light flickering through it was as dim as candlelight. I couldn't see Ashar from here due to darkness.

I moved forward silently to the other side of the sofa where he was sleeping. He had hidden his whole body in the quilt. The sound of his light snores was easily audible due to the midnight's silence that assured me that he was in deep slumber. I felt at ease after the confirmation and about to move when something came under my feet. I stumbled and then toppled on Ashar's legs.

A short scream escaped my lips unknowingly. I immediately put my palm on my mouth to stop the sound. Sharp pain struck my back as soon as it bumped with a sofa behind. My butt landed on his legs. It was Ashar's foot that made me lose my balance.

Ashar groaned aloud and sat up, "You crazy pig.........Sanaya?"

He blinked twice. He looked down then up at my face, "I'm sorry I thought... I was still in the lockup and one of the thugs attacked me. Anyways, why are you sitting on my legs?"

I uncovered my mouth and immediately moved my butt on the floor. My cheeks heated up in embarrassment.

I scratched the side of my forehead, avoiding his eyes, "Um, I, I was going to kitchen to get some water, but then, I felt something on the floor and..."

He brought his arms out of the quilt and said groggily, "And you fell on my legs, is that so?"

I glanced back at him with reddened face. Amusement sparkled in his sleepy eyes. His hair were disheveled. His eyes were not fully opened due to drowsiness. He looked endearing and very tempting. I closed my eyes for a second and pulled out myself from the senseless enticement.

"I'm sorry." I said in a low, hesitant voice, touching the strand of my hair.

I gave him a reason now to pull my leg and I couldn't even get angry on him because it was my fault.

"Why are you still awake?" He questioned, furrowing his brows.

"No, I was sleeping. I was feeling thirsty all of a sudden so I just got out of the room." I said, biting the inside of my cheek.

He arched his brow. It was sign that he didn't fully believe me. He pursed his lips as if he was stopping himself to laugh at me. I felt ashamed. His stare on me became serious and intense. At that moment, I felt uncomfortable and naked as if he could see through me, as if he knew my concerns, my fears.

"I should go now. You go back to sleep." I said and about to rise up when he grabbed my arm and tugged me. He shoved me down on the floor beside him and he himself moved up his face close to mine. His chest lightly caressed my front, racing my heartbeat.

"You're very bad at lying." He teased. The heat radiating from his body, gave me goosebumps. I felt knots in my stomach as his breaths kissed my face skin.

"I was not lying now, move." I tried to get up, but he stopped me by enclosing me with his arm.

"No." He shared his comforter with me and covered my lower part of the body with it, "Sleep here, with me."

"Have you gone mad? Get your hands off me." I tried to push aside his arm that was placed just above my tummy.

"Ssshh." He raised his finger at me, "You've already disturb my sleep once, don't do it again."

He laid beside me, linked his arm with mine. I stiffened as his breath touched the side of my face, tickling my skin. My heartbeat pulsated.  I felt the urge to close the distance between us, wrapped my arms around and snuggle to him. Years had passed, but still his touch could quicken my heartbeats.

"Breathe, Baby, I'm not going to do anything. I'm quite tired. Good night." He said in a low, hoarse voice as if he was already drifting to sleep.

I moved my face and saw his eyes were closed. He held my arm tightly, making sure that I could not run away. He was keeping his words so I just stayed there and thought I would go to my room once he would be in deep sleep.

💙

Early in the morning, I slowly opened my eyes and felt an arm around me. I moved my head and it touched with something hard yet warm. My eyes widened when I recognized the black tee shirt. It was Ashar's chest.

I moved back and instantly pushed his arm aside without caring that it could disturb his sleep while recalling that I had decided to go to my room last night, but why I didn't? I didn't know when sleep engulfed me. My bad luck follows me everywhere.

Ashar turned straight and opened his eyes. He blinked and looked around. I rose on my feet and straightened my shirt. I was grateful that I was in my pajama set instead of some indecent nightie.

"Good morning." He yawned, standing up.

"Why are you looking angry in the morning?" He asked groggily.

"You behavior was inappropriate last night." I tightened my jaws, glaring at him.

"But, we didn't do anything other than sleeping." He said innocently.

"Don't act like everything is okay between us just because I let you stay for a night." I snapped.

"I think you're over-reacting. I was sleeping like a good kid. I kept my words. I'll never again force you for anything until you're ready."

My eyes widened in utter shock, "You remember."

The remorse flickered on his face. He lowered his gaze, understood what I was talking about, "Of course, I remember everything about that night."

The hurt I felt after that day erupted once again in my heart. I didn't want to talk about the past with him, but I was intrigued as well.

"You said you took me as someone else?"

"I lied." He bit his lower lip, looked back at me with guilt-filled gaze, "I was completely aware that it was you."

My face contorted in astonishment, "Why?"

He scratched the back of his neck, "I thought it was the best solution at that time. I regretted next day about what happened. Not because I had something against you, but I thought we shouldn't have done this."

I was on the verge of exploding at him. How could he lie about such a thing!

"It was my fault, I agree. But, I was confused and ashamed and then you professed your love for me in the middle of the night, it was overwhelming." He added on.

He remembered everything still he chose to keep me in the dark and tortured me for years. This man would be the death of me.

"Ashamed of what, you prick? You said Samara's name while sleeping with me. You thought of another woman." I seethed.

Invisible tears burned my eyes as I recalled old memories.

"I'm really sorry. I was quite sleepy at that time. I confused names. And I wasn't expecting to hear that you would say that you love me. Samara had said that to me many times so her name came out of my mouth unknowingly. I realized it after you left the room. But next morning, I decided to let you think that way because I thought it was immoral for me to sleep with you. You were too young for me." He admitted guiltily.

"I can't believe this. You tortured me for years for such a pathetic reason? For years I thought that I slept with a man who didn't even acknowledge me." I looked at him with a sinister glare, "Get out. Get out of my sight."

"Sanaya, I'm sorry." He stepped forward and grabbed my shoulders, "Listen, I swear I was just tipsy that night. It's true that my weak mind encouraged me to take the initiative. My normal self wouldn't have done that. You can understand through it that I didn't think of using the protection, but I knew it was you. You were sad and I wanted to comfort you, but then, one step after another. I couldn't stop myself."

I shoved him back, "I don't want to hear your trashy excuses. Get out."

Just when I was thinking to go easy on him, he gave me million other reasons to hate him for the rest of my life. He was selfish. He only thought about himself without giving a thought about me what I would be feeling by his lies. All of the guilt feelings for him disappeared in me. I realized that he deserved to be in the lock-up for almost a month or more. I should not be feeling sorry for the brute.

My fury made him worried, "It was not fake. That night was not only an outcome of my desire, it was mo-"

"Daddy, I'm awake." I turned around and saw Zoya was standing behind me, rubbing her eyes.

"My girl." Ashar forced a smile on his face and walked to her, "Good morning."

My nostrils flared at his fake acting. I said aloud, "I'm leaving for work. You drop Zoya to the daycare." I didn't glance at him and headed to the bathroom.

💙

A week later at my office, Derek and Laila were sitting with me on my desk to discuss the progress of Hobsons's assignment. Almost half of the work was finished and approved by the Watson.

"The content is ready." Derek pronounced, looking at me.

"That's cool. It means the most difficult task is completed." I mused, nodding my head.

"Here is the list of all those companies who'll be interested in Hobson's gadget." Laila placed the plastic file on my table.

I was about to grab that file, when I felt my phone began vibrating in my jeans' pocket. I pulled it out and saw Ashar was calling. I heaved a sigh of exasperation, cut the call and put it back in my pocket. Since past week, I had been avoiding his calls. He tried to talk to me several times, but I shut him up through warnings and fury.

I couldn't bear him anymore after his confession of mistakes and disclosing of matters. He could not just do as he pleases. First he annoys me to the highest level then expects me to go easy on him by listening to his mere sorry's.

"Let's first discuss the list. How we're going to reach them?" I put aside the disturbing thoughts and brought back my attention on my teammates.

"That's right...First-" Derek stopped in mid-sentence when his phone began ringing.

I and Laila waited for him. He said aloud, "It's Ashar. Let me take this."

I slapped the table in frustration. It was his way to get to me. I knew that.

"Hey, what's up?" Derek talked to him.

I leaned back in my chair whereas Laila eagerly waited for Derek to end the call and tell her what he was saying.

"Yes Sanaya and Laila are here right now." He said.

I narrowed my eyes at the mention of my name.

"Okay.....yeah sure... Here." He passed the phone to me and whispered lowly, "He wants to talk to you."

Astoundingly, I pointed my index finger on me and mouthed, "Me?"

He nodded.

Rolling my eyes, I took Derek's phone and put it on my ear, "What is it?"

"Are you still angry with me?" Ashar asked on the phone.

My face contorted in anger and I was about to yell at him, but I stopped when I saw Derek and Laila were giving me curious stares. They were probably assuming that he was talking something related to the office work. And here he was, only pissing me off.

I relaxed my facial expressions and avoided their gaze.

"How long your punishment is going to be? I miss you already." I could imagine him pouting right now.

My jaws clenched. Laila mouthed, "What he's saying?"

I forced a smile on my face and blinked at her in assurance.

"Stop giving me silent treatment." Ashar pleaded.

"Of course, we've the final list with us." I said aloud, "I can email you."

Derek bobbed his head up and down thoughtfully at my words. Laila's impatience also lessened when she got a clue what Ashar would be talking about.

I really wanted to scream at Ashar right now for giving me such a hard time. He always used those tactics to get on me that involved my work because he knew I won't be able to impede much.

"Don't email me. Come over and give it to me." Ashar demanded quickly and hung up on me, without letting me to say my answer.

"Yeah, okay." I still responded aloud in front of my colleagues with a forced smile and then returned the phone to Derek.

"He's calling you and me to his office right now." I lied to him. He didn't call Derek to his office, only me. But, there was no way I was going to go there alone.

"I know." He nodded, "He already told me that. Let's go then."

Oh?

I hid my astonishment and rose up from my chair, "Keep its copy to ourselves."

Derek also stood up and took the file in his hand.

"I have its copy." Laila said, "See you later."

If my job was not important to him, I wouldn't be enduring Ashar's childishness. And he seemed to know that. I could not avoid him he made it certain. Besides, I had understood now that avoiding him or ignoring him won't solve the problem. This time, I would let him talk to me and see what more had left that was keeping him near me.