What Should I Do?

SHAY

My thoughts were a whirlwind. He was ready to leave his entire life behind, just to be with me, to sever ties with his work forever.

His face was a canvas of sorrow, pain, and a glimmer of hope. He muttered a curse as he gently examined my neck.

“I’m so sorry, love.” His fingers traced the bruises on my neck, remnants of his chokehold from earlier.

“I’ll never hurt you again. I don’t care what it takes. I need you to keep me grounded. Without you, I lost myself. The pain was so intense, I shut down my feelings.

“I became a stranger to myself.”

“Zane, I just don’t—”

He silenced me with a kiss. He poured every ounce of his emotion into that moment. It was as if he was trying to show me how much he meant every word he said, and then some.

I felt a rush of emotions. Every heartbeat since I left him had been a painful reminder of his absence. I surrendered to his kiss, our lips moving in perfect harmony.

My mind had tried to erase him, but it was futile. He was etched so deeply in my heart; I yearned for what we once had so much that the pain was almost unbearable.

When we finally broke apart, we were both gasping for breath. He cradled my face in his hands. “My heart can’t handle a no, Shay. It felt like it left with you the night you walked out.

“This is what I need, you in my arms, safe in our home where no one can hurt you, knowing that you’re there for me every step of the way.”

His eyes were filled with love again, pleading with me not to hurt him again. I made my decision.

“Zane, I love you. Let’s go home together.”

Before I could finish my sentence, he swept me into his arms. He stood and kissed me passionately as he walked towards the back door. Conner opened it, and we headed to the garage.

“Conner, bring her car. She’s riding home with me,” he said, tossing Conner the keys I handed him.

He settled me in the front seat of his car and kissed me once more before shutting the door. He walked around to the driver’s side, got in, and started the car.

As we drove towards his house, I broke the silence. “Will you be okay at the meeting tomorrow? The one Conner seemed so worried about?” I asked.

“Yes, but I would have been okay regardless. I know how to run my business even when I’m hurting. I can set aside my feelings until I’ve done what needs to be done,” he said.

He placed his hand on my thigh as we sped down the road. “I know they were concerned, but I can handle myself when the situation calls for it.”

I glanced at his sharp jawline, the way the moonlight illuminated his face, making him look ethereal. He caught me looking and grinned. “What’s on your mind, love?”

“Just how much I’ve missed you this past month. It’s been tough, but I needed to clear my head after everything that happened.

“I thought about you every day. I missed you and wondered what you were up to.”

He pulled the car over and looked at me with those eyes. I fell in love with them every time he looked at me.

“You know, you could have just called me. I’ve been miserable without you, wondering if you were safe, what you were doing, if you were thinking about me.”

I rolled my eyes at him.

“You had your men tailing me, so you knew I was safe. But there wasn’t a day that went by where you weren’t on my mind.

“I would look up at the windows and wonder if you were looking down at me.

“Or if you were going to come down and try to talk to me, or if one of your guys was going to try to take me to your house because you couldn’t stand me not being around.”

He sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

“I wanted to do all of that and more, Shay. I watched you from the room every night, wishing you would come up to see me or talk.

“Going home to that big, empty house alone was unbearable, so I stayed at the warehouse.

“I couldn’t sleep in our bed without wishing you were there in my arms, talking to me, laughing at my jokes, seeing your smile.

“I tried sleeping in a different room, but it was the same.

“Pain consumed my heart and hate filled my mind. I lost myself without realizing what I was doing. I retreated into a shell and kept everyone at arm’s length.

“It’s been a tough time for me.”

He leaned over the console and gently pulled me towards him.

When our lips met, the familiar spark ignited within me. He deepened the kiss and a wave of heat washed over me. A moan escaped my lips.

When he pulled away, I saw the fire in his eyes that I had missed so much.

He traced a finger down my face; his eyes were dark and filled with desire.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this. The feel of your skin, the sounds you make when I touch you. Knowing that your body craves mine. Tell me I’m not wrong.”

I nodded in response. He started the car, and we headed back to his house.

In a blink, I was out of the car, carried up the stairs, and onto the bed. He tore our clothes off, and we spent the rest of the night making love and cuddling as if our lives depended on it.