Chapter 173

Chapter 173 Nobody had ever touched me like that. And as much as it terrified me, and as much as I wasn’t ready for it to happen like that –

chained to the wall, his to command-

There was certainly a part of me that...liked it? Maybe. I sigh, confused.

Even as I push myself to figure out how I feel, the strain and confusion of the situation washes over me. I sigh, heading for my wardrobe, wanting the comforting feel of cotton pajamas against my skin – not all of this silk and boning and laced–up restraint.

As I pull on a t–shirt and a pair of pajama shorts, I consider that at the heart of it, of the whole evening, the central fact was that it was terrifying for me.

And perhaps it’s just me being a baby – being so naïve, and romantic, and sheltered. But as much as it sometimes gives me pleasure and a thrill to defy Kent, and to push him, and to drive him beyond his point of control – I am not sure I want to have sex like that.

At least not the first time. Because there was something about the feeling of giving up control to him that, at some moments, felt...

good?

Chapter 173 2/3 But it went too far. I don’t want to have sex that scares me, that makes me cry. I just want...well, I suppose I want to be held. And comforted.

Because losing your virginity is scary enough – I’m not sure chains need to be added to the equation.

I’m staring passively into the wardrobe, lost in my thoughts, when my eyes fall on it. I pull Ivan’s jacket from its place balled up in the back corner, where I’d tucked it maybe an hour ago. God, an hour, is that how it really took for my world to turn upside down like that?

I pull the jacket on, wanting its comfort and the memories of the parts of tonight that were so good. I tuck my nose against the jacket’s collar and take a deep sniff of Ivan’s warm and spicy scent. It’s strange, that two men who are so similar on paper can make me feel so completely different on the same night.

And considering my two “dates” this evening, I definitely know which one I preferred.

I climb groaning into bed, pulling my covers up over me, still shaken from my experiences but starting to feel better. Just before I drift off to sleep, I grab my phone –

Not the Kent phone, the burner. The one Janeen gave me.

And I type in Ivan’s number, and send him a quick text to say goodnight.

3/3 Chapter 173 Half an hour has passed since Fay left the room, and Kent is still laying on the floor, crippled with pain and anxiety. He presses his eyes closed against it, wanting – quite desperately – to be anywhere else, to be anyone else.

God damn it, but he hates himself right now. Hates every choice he’s ever made that has led him here, to this – to laying in his underwear on the floor of his secret room, feeling like the absolute worst person on earth.

Because he knows he’s made a mistake – that none of this is what –

he wanted, or how he wanted it, with Fay. But for the life of him, he doesn’t know how to not do precisely this.

As he considers that idea, Kent scolds himself, because –

Fall For My Ex's Mafia Father Chapter 0172 obviously – he knows how to not do this. He’s had sex with women in much simpler ways – normal sex, good sex, in a bed without ropes and chains.

Not every woman he’s ever brought home has been locked up in this room, restrained for him. He doesn’t need the kink to have sex – sometimes it’s just an extra, bonus that allows him to explore his obsession with control.

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Fall For My Ex’s Mafia Father 1/3 Chapter 174