In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes: Chapter 24

“WHAT IS THIS?” I sniffed the shot and cringed. “Olivia, this smells like death.”

Olivia offered me a wry smile. “It’ll make you feel better. I didn’t put alcohol in yours or Hannah’s.”

“Good. I’m never drinking again.” The four of us tipped the shots back and I made a face. “Is that pickle juice?”

Hannah peered at her empty shot glass with surprise. “That’s good. I like that.”

“It’s a pickleback,” Olivia told us as we sat in front of the fireplace. “It’ll replenish all those salts you lost from taking your top off last night.”

Hannah and Avery dissolved into giggles and I gasped in horror at Olivia. My stomach dropped through the core of the earth.

“No. Shut up.” My hands came over my mouth before I gripped her arms. “I didn’t. Right?”

Holden would have said something this morning.

Right?

I shook her. “Olivia!” I screamed, and Avery and Hannah fell over laughing.

She rolled her eyes, shaking with laughter. “I’m kidding, you didn’t take your top off, but you did dance on the bar top.”

My stomach tensed with mortification. I pictured myself thrusting on the bar top and groaned. “I’m never drinking again.”

Olivia snorted. “You also made Holden do a shot out of your belly button.”

“No!” I screeched over their laughter, falling over and hiding my face beneath my hands. I crumpled into a ball on the floor. “He didn’t say a word about it today.” My face was beet red.

She smirked. “He didn’t seem too unhappy about having his mouth on your stomach.”

I pictured it. His rough stubble brushing my stomach, his lips over my belly button, his eyes on me. My lungs were tight. Arousal tugged within me, right to my ladyparts. Was that why he had a boner this morning?

No. Men got boners in the morning. It wasn’t because of me or because of that belly button shot.

“So,” Avery said, eyes on the bowl of tortilla chips in front of her. “Holden was here all day today.”

I nodded. “We went for a hangover walk in the forest, and then the donation people showed up and took a bunch of furniture.”

“On a work day?” Hannah asked.

I shrugged. “I think his meeting got moved? I’m not sure.”

They exchanged a glance.

“What?” I asked. “You’re mind-reading each other.”

Avery narrowed her eyes, like she was figuring out how to say something to me. She wore a small smile. “You and Holden have been hanging out a lot lately.”

I shrugged again. “I guess.”

Olivia snorted.

“What?” I asked.

She ignored me. “He’s at the bar even more now,” Olivia told them. “And he only talks to Sadie.”

I gaped at her and she threw a chip at me. “No.” I shook my head, smiling. My stomach flopped over. “He doesn’t. He talks to you, too.”

“Yeah,” Olivia said through a mouthful of chips. “Because we’re friends.”

“Well, Holden and I are friends, too.” Sort of.

“I still can’t believe he spent the whole day here.” Avery raised her eyebrows, impressed.

I glanced around at the sitting room. This afternoon, we had marked lines on the wall where we would demo the wall leading to the secret library. Holden was so at ease, working here. He never scowled at me anymore.

“He likes home reno projects,” I told them. “I think he misses that about his company.” I tilted my head at them. “Do you think he likes his job?”

Hannah dipped her chip in the guacamole with a humming noise. “I’m not sure. I always thought he did because he works a lot. He’s always late to family dinners, or leaving early. Sometimes he doesn’t show up at all. It’s his thing.”

“Oh my god,” I sighed, sitting up. “He’ll never find someone if he keeps acting like this.”

Avery gave me a strange look. “What?”

I froze. I danced dangerously close to spilling the details about the deal with Holden. “Nothing.” I shot them a bright smile before I stood. “Let’s do a tour. I want to show you all the changes we’re going to make.”

They stayed seated.

Hannah shot me a sweet smile. “Sadie?”

“Yes, Hannah?” I shifted, still on my feet.

“Why do you keep going to singles events with Holden?” She asked like she already knew the answer.

I pressed my lips tight into a line. “Because I don’t know anyone in town?”

Avery and Hannah narrowed their eyes at me. Olivia gave me a bitch, please look.

“I can’t talk about it.”

Olivia snorted. “It’s because she’s helping him find a wife.”

I gasped. “You knew?”

“I heard you two talking about it. Your voice carries, Sadie.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” I told her, kneeling beside her. “All of you. You can’t tell a soul.”

Avery’s eyes bugged out of her head. “Tell us everything.”

I hesitated. They already knew, so I might as well tell them the details. I explained the agreement to them while Avery and Hannah listened with rapt interest. Olivia just ate chips and listened.

When I was done, Avery and Hannah exchanged a long look.

“Sadie, you can tell me to shut up, but I have a question.” Avery chewed a chip while studying me.

“I don’t love where this is going,” I told her with a laugh. “But go on.”

“Do you have a thing for Holden?”

“No, of course not.” My face turned bright red. Thanks, face.

“Why, of course not?” Hannah asked.

“Because—” I broke off, squirming. How could I explain the mental fuckery Grant had left behind? “I don’t live here.” I shrugged. “And I’m taking a break from men. And Holden wants a lot of things I’m not interested in.”

Marriage. Commitment.

“Do you think he’s attractive?” Avery asked with a sly grin.

I snorted. “Okay, fine, yes, he’s hot. I have eyes. Of course he’s hot.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“It would never work,” I insisted.

She shrugged. “Okay. For what it’s worth, I like you two hanging out. I think it’s good for him. He never does anything for himself, you know?”

Hannah nodded. “Yeah. He’s always doing stuff around the house for Elizabeth.”

Huh. I thought about the coffee and Advil he brought me this morning.

Maybe that was Holden’s big flaw, that he spent so much time taking care of other people. Who took care of Holden, though?

Avery shifted her legs to the side and stood up. “You want to take us on that tour?”

I let them around the inn, showing them our plans for the secret library, how we were going to open up the foyer, and where we would add windows. They laughed at the gaudy wallpaper in the upstairs bedrooms and I showed them photos of the big, heavy furniture that had been there until the thrift store workers had taken it away that afternoon.

“And this is my room,” I said, leaning on the doorframe as they wandered in. “It used to be Katherine’s, that’s why it has that little office—oh.”

The Holden paintings leaned against the desk and Avery beelined straight for them.

She held up one of the paintings of Holden with elation on her face. “Thank you, Jesus.”

My stomach dropped and I rushed over. “Those are a joke.” I tried to take the canvas from her but she held on tight. “I was pissed off at him.”

“Sadie, this is incredible,” Hannah breathed, studying the one of Holden sobbing in the gym.

Olivia doubled over laughing at the painting of him driving his truck with tears rolling down his face.

“Please let me buy this as a gift for Emmett,” Avery pleaded. “Please, Sadie. He’ll lose his mind over this.”

“No one is going to want these,” I insisted, still trying to pull it out of her grasp. “They’re joke paintings.” I shook my head at her. “They’re just for fun.”

Avery stared at me with raised eyebrows. “If Emmett knows this exists, he won’t stop until he gets it.” She glanced back at the painting and burst out laughing. “Has Holden seen this?”

I rolled my eyes, grinning. “Yes. He thought it was funny.”

Hannah studied me for a moment with a thoughtful look on her face, and butterflies filled my stomach.

Olivia found the painting of him crying at the bar and hooted with laughter. “Sadie, let us buy the paintings off you and you can play whatever music you want at the bar for a week.”

I sucked in a breath. “Oooooh. Tempting.” I always had to beg Olivia to put my playlists on. Holden had already seen the paintings and didn’t care, and they were funny. I shrugged at them. “Alright, fine. Consider them gifts for giving me such a warm welcome to Queen’s Cove.”

Avery clapped and beamed at me, Hannah gave me a shy smile, and Olivia smirked.

“We’re so happy you’re here,” Avery told me.

My face flushed as I grinned back at them. The circumstances that brought me to this town were unfortunate, but after the day I had with Holden, and now hanging out with these fun, friendly women, I felt comfortable here.

Hannah tilted her head at me with a little smile. “Holden thought these were funny?”

I nodded. “Now that I’m getting to know him better, he’s not as grouchy as I thought he was.” I tilted my head, thinking about him as a teenager, so sullen and quiet.

I didn’t want you to think you weren’t beautiful.

I remembered the flash of insecurity I saw behind his eyes on the boat a few weeks ago, when we talked about him finding someone.

“I think he’s more sensitive than people realize,” I said, picking at my nail polish.

Hannah watched me for a long moment before she nodded. “I think you’re right.”

AFTER MY GUESTS had gone home, I puttered around the inn, tidying up, turning off lights, and checking door locks before I padded upstairs and slipped into bed.

I opened my bedside drawer and stared at the purple vibrator, my mouth twisting to the side as I weighed my options.

I hadn’t come in weeks. As I stared at the toy, arousal flowed through my blood. Heat grew between my legs and I thought about Holden kissing me.

I hesitated. I was totally going to think about Holden while I came. I’d think about him grinding against my center with that thick, rigid length of his. His hands in my hair. The low groan as his mouth met mine.

I shouldn’t be thinking about him like that.

On the other hand, if I got what I needed now, we wouldn’t run into any of those tense situations in the future. A guy couldn’t fuck my life up if we didn’t do anything together. There was nothing in my no-dating rule about not thinking about Holden while I got off.

Besides, men thought about their female friends all the time while they jerked off.

The apex between my legs thrummed at the thought of Holden stroking himself while thinking about me.

He was in my head from the second I clicked the toy on. I let myself run wild, picturing him on top of me, beneath me as I rode him and he gripped my hips with a drugged, hazy look in his eyes. Pressure coiled low in my belly. I pictured his face when he came, wincing as pleasure tore through him while he watched me. My head fell back, eyes closed. I thought about how he had groaned as I tugged on his hair. A moan slipped out of me. I thought about how thick his length was and how the first stroke inside me would burn in the best way. Heat warmed me between my legs and I was a slippery mess as I imagined going down on him, taking his cock between my lips and giving him a long, slow suck as he watched in fascination. Drawing it out to torture him.

I imagined his head between my legs, hands on my thighs to keep them wide. The pressure inside me spilled over and I came, back arching, moaning and whimpering as I worked the toy between my legs, wishing it was Holden. Waves of pleasure rippled through me and I clenched around nothing.

When it subsided, I lay back, catching my breath and gathering my scrambled, sluggish thoughts. My heart pounded against the front wall of my chest.

Wow. I had emptied the tank on that one. I sighed and sunk into the pillows.

There. Now, nothing would happen between Holden and me in real life.

As I drifted off to sleep, I realized something.

The way Avery and Hannah and even Olivia talked about Holden, it was clear they didn’t see the calm, relaxed guy I saw today in the forest, talking about paintings and life. On dates, he had nothing to talk about because all he did was work. He never met anyone because he was stuck in this cycle of work, gym, and bar. Rinse, repeat. He needed a shove outside his comfort zone.

I smiled to myself as the idea formed in my head. If there was one thing I was good at, it was having fun. That’s how I could help him.

I was going to teach Holden how to have more fun.