In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes: Chapter 30

I WOKE up the next morning to my phone buzzing on the bedside table.

“Good morning,” I answered in a raspy voice, squinting in the morning light.

“Oh, no.” Willa sighed. “I forgot about the time difference. Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” I sat up against the pillows, yawning. “I forgot to set an alarm.”

Last night replayed in my head.

Holy crap. Holden and I didn’t even have sex and it was still the best I’d ever had. I didn’t have to fake it. I didn’t even remember to fake it. One second I was teasing him about being overconfident and reaching for my vibrator. The next minute, he was devouring me and making me come harder than I ever had.

With his tongue. Imagine that.

A tiny part of me wished I let him stay, but letting him sleep over was dangerous territory.

“How’s life in the middle of nowhere?” she asked.

Images from last night flooded my head and I grinned. “It’s actually pretty great.”

She did a fake gasp. “What? Did that Holden guy move away?”

I laughed. “No, he’s never leaving this place.” I shrugged, gazing out the window at the overcast skies. I’d go for another forest walk today, by myself this time. “The people are pretty cool here. I’m making friends.”

“Aw. I’m glad.”

“That Holden guy and I have become friends.”

Silence stretched on the other end. “I’m sorry, what?”

I laughed. “We’ve been hanging out a lot while working on the inn.” For some reason, I held back from telling her about the deal Holden and I struck, about finding him a wife. “He’s not so bad.”

An image of him pulling his shirt over his head appeared in my head. Muscles rippling and eyes on me. I bit my lip. Not bad at all.

“You hooked up.”

My mouth fell open. “How can you tell?”

Willa let out a loud laugh. My heart panged and I missed her.

She let out a long sigh. “It was the way you said he’s not so bad, like you were picturing him naked.”

My chest shook with laughter. Busted. “Okay. We hooked up.”

“I knew he had a thing for you.”

My stomach rolled with pleasure and warmth and I smiled. “It’s not like that. We’ve decided to be friends with benefits.” I shrugged. “You know, because I don’t live here.”

And he wanted a wife, my brain reminded me.

Friends with benefits had been a stroke of genius on my part. All the fun without any of the terrifying commitment stuff? Genius, baby. Genius.

It wasn’t dating, because we weren’t letting feelings get involved. It was just sex with an expiration date.

“Good for you. Might as well make your time there worth it.”

Besides, from the way Holden wielded his tongue like he did last night, it would be a waste to not sleep with him. Men like him were a rarity.

“It’s already worth it,” I told her, smiling. “I love renovating the inn. I should have done it years ago with Katherine. It feels like…” I trailed off.

I glanced around my bedroom at the overwhelming wallpaper. Once we finished the bathrooms, I’d remove it. My heart twisted at the idea of stripping it, though. The ugly little flowers were growing on me, like when a pet is super old and half bald but you still can’t help but love it.

“What?” Willa asked, her voice soft.

I thought about how excited Katherine would be to see the changes in the inn, and my heart squeezed, warm and happy.

“It feels like my purpose.” I wrinkled my nose at how serious my words sounded. “Like this is what I’m meant to be doing. Like it means something.”

“Awww. You don’t know how happy that makes me, to hear that.”

I wore a little smile on my face, playing with the hem of the duvet. “Yeah. Me, too.” Claire’s call from the other day popped into my head and I gasped. “Oh my god, I totally forgot to tell you. Claire Shi offered me a job in Toronto.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” I beamed. “She sent over the paperwork the other day. I start March fifteenth.”

“Babe. That’s incredible. Congratulations.” Her voice wobbled.

I snorted. “Don’t you dare cry.”

She huffed a laugh. “I’ve been worried about you, because of this whole Grant thing. He did a number on you and I know you were uncertain about what to do in terms of work.”

My mouth twisted to the side. “I know, but I’m okay. Really. And this job with Claire is going to be incredible. The office is near our secret bar.”

“Happy hour every day.” I could hear the grin on her side.

“You know it.” My chest fluttered with excitement. The other day, I had scoped out the firm’s social media, studying the photos of a recent renovation for a new restaurant. The design was fascinating, with colors and placement I wouldn’t have thought to choose, but it looked incredible.

“When are you moving back?”

My stomach clenched and I frowned at the weird sensation. “Probably March first. I’ll have to sublet a place for the first month until I find something.”

On the other end, Willa hesitated.

“What?” I asked.

“You know how Bryan and Stuart bought a place, right?”

“Sure.” They had bought into a pre-sale condo a couple years ago while it was under construction. Their apartment was close to my old place.

“They’re moving in February.”

Their apartment was huge and they had been there for a decade. Top floor of a heritage building with high ceilings, bay windows overlooking the street, and a huge patio where we spent many summer evenings. The wall of their living room was original brick. “I’m going to miss their apartment.”

“Well,” she started with a funny, excited tone to her voice. She took a deep breath. “What do you think about us moving in there?”

My eyes went wide. “Oh my god. Yes. A thousand times yes.”

When the guys hosted brunch last summer, the morning light in their apartment had been sublime. It was quiet, it was spacious, and there were two bathrooms.

Two. Bathrooms.

Plus, living with Willa again. Cooking dinner together with music on or a dumb TV show playing in the background. Hosting our own parties with all our friends. My heart burst with excitement.

Willa let out a squeal and I could hear her clapping. “Here’s the best part. The landlord said they could sublet it to us so we can pay the same rent.”

“Are you serious?”

On top of the apartment being a total dream, the guys paid criminally low rent.

“Dead serious,” Willa answered. “This will be amazing. My place is so freaking expensive.”

My nose wrinkled. Willa lived in one of those fancy new high rises where the units were tiny. She had a studio and was always tripping over her own painting supplies. “Yeah, your place is too small for you. You’ll have more room for painting now.”

“Plus, with the extra money I’m saving for rent, I can cut back on teaching and focus more on painting.” She hummed. “Nothing is as good as painting, you know? I really want to give it everything and make a go of it, but it takes a lot of time. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather live with.”

I beamed out the window beside my bed. We’d been wanting to live together for years but like the job with Claire, the timing never worked out.

When I got engaged to Grant, the possibility of living with her again evaporated. But now? Everything was falling into place.

Images of Holden smiling at me last night as he kissed me goodbye appeared in my mind and warmth tugged under my ribcage.

“It’s like fate,” Willa continued.

I thought about Holden again and something sweet and cloying curled in my chest. Landing in Queen’s Cove for six months was what I needed to shake my life up and get me on the right course. Like a reset, but for my whole existence. Back in Toronto, I’d been stuck in a loop, choosing the wrong guys.

Like I told Willa, renovating the inn with Holden felt like my purpose, and walking in the forest with him, talking about art and life and admiring all the trees, breathing in that clean air, it was good for my soul.

And the stuff Holden and I did last night? Well, that was me enjoying what Queen’s Cove had to offer. A grin pulled at my mouth. God, he was good at that tongue thing.

I listened while Willa filled me in on everything else happening in Toronto, nostalgia peaking in my chest as she talked. I missed my life there, and now with my dream job and dream apartment lined up when I returned, I was finally on the right track.