In Your Dreams, Holden Rhodes: Chapter 35

“TWILIGHT?” I asked her with a grimace.

We had set up in her bedroom, because construction supplies cluttered the sitting room downstairs and the couch was in the hallway while we worked on the secret library entrance. The laptop perched a few feet away from us, queued up with the movie. Rain tapped on the roof and against the window and a fire crackled in the fireplace, warming the room. Sadie settled back against the headboard with her pasta we had picked up from Avery’s restaurant.

I settled in beside her and frowned. “Isn’t that movie for teenage girls?”

Sadie nodded. “And now all those thirteen year girls are grown women. This movie is a critical piece of cinema to women my age and you need to know all the references.”

A grin hitched on my mouth as she hit play.

Half an hour later, Sadie dissolved into giggles at my horrified expression. This movie was insane, with long, lingering looks between Bella and Edward, over-the-top teen angst, and cringey dialogue.

“This movie is terrible,” I told her.

“I know,” she gasped, laughing harder. “But I still love it.”

On screen, Edward made Bella climb on his back before he raced up the mountain. Sadie glanced at me before she began laughing again.

I shook my head and grinned.

A few minutes later, her head had meandered to my shoulder as we watched the movie. She tilted her head and I glanced down at her.

“I’m so glad we got a do-over.” Her eyes were soft and warm.

My eyebrow lifted. “Do-over?”

She nodded, playing with the duvet cover. “With us. If I never came to Queen’s Cove, we never would have become friends and I wouldn’t have known who you really were.”

Pressure expanded in my chest and I tried not to smile as big as I wanted to. “I’m more myself around you,” I admitted.

“You are?” Her smile lifted, hopeful and sweet. “That’s the best compliment.” Her gaze met mine and her throat worked. “I’m more myself around you, too. The other day, walking in the forest and telling you about my secret bar daydreams, I, just—” She shrugged and glanced back at me, suddenly shy. “I can tell you about those things.”

“I like you telling me about those things.”

I could never admit how much it meant to me when she admitted what happened with her ex. She trusted me. My chest squeezed again.

She sat up with bright eyes. “I made a Pinterest board for my pretend secret bar from my daydreams. You want to see it?”

I nodded and she sat forward, pausing the movie and opened a browser window. She sat back and I settled my arm around her shoulders as she scrolled, explaining the color scheme and showing me images of dark and moody wallpaper. She flipped past pictures of the same little twinkle lights they strung up along the trees on Main Street.

“I love little touches of decor from The Roaring Twenties,” she explained, pointing out the brass light fixtures. “That’s the vibe we’re going for with the secret library, like a speakeasy people can hide their drinks in.”

She pointed at an image with wallpaper. “I designed this wallpaper.”

My eyebrows shot up and I leaned in closer to study the image. The wallpaper was a deep red wine color, with navy stripes. Gold and white birds floated every foot or so.

“That’s incredible, Sadie,” I murmured, picturing it in my own home.

She shrugged with a little smile. “I was thinking about using it for my own apartment at the time. Turns out it’s pretty easy to make your own wallpaper if you have the design finished.” She tilted her head, eyes on the pattern. “I never ended up using it but I think about it all the time.”

She made a sad little hum and closed the window. The next window was an email with pictures of an apartment.

Cold trickled down my back. “Looking for apartments?” I kept a light tone.

She shot me a tentative smile. “This is the place I’m moving into in March with Willa.” She scrolled through the photos. It was an older style of apartment, which meant big rooms, original hardwood floors, and a strange layout, but big bay windows. Lots of sunlight.

“It’s an amazing price, and I’m excited about living with Willa again. I miss my bestie.” A smile lifted on her features, and when she nodded, her ponytail brushed my shoulder. “Things are finally aligning for me back home.” She shrugged and glanced at me. “And in life.”

My chest ached at the idea of her going home but I shoved it away. Sadie had been clear in what she wanted: friends with benefits. No attachments, just sex. I swallowed past a knot in my throat, staring at the picture of her living room. Thoughts of her snuck into my head more and more. I looked forward to seeing her each night at the bar, counting down until I could return to the inn to work on the place with her by my side. Sadie couldn’t be more clear, though.

Any feelings I was having were one-sided. Sadie wasn’t getting swept off her feet. She was planning the rest of her life on the other side of the country.

She put the movie back on and settled against me, pulling a blanket over us and relaxing into my chest. She cuddled against my chest and my hand fell to her arm. I inhaled her hair and she sighed against me, relaxing.

I was falling for her. Or maybe I’d fallen for her years ago and never gotten over her. I’d never liked a woman the way I liked her. While she was in town, there was no way for me to tear myself away from her. She was too addictive, too sweet, silly, fun, and interesting, and spending time with her made me the version of myself I wanted to be.

She saw something special in me, even if she didn’t want me for herself.

Friends with benefits was a terrible idea, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stop.