CHAPTER 21
Love in the time of grades First Semester
Chapter 21: Crossing Boundaries
The days after that evening seemed to blur together. Classes, assignments, and late-night study sessions filled the hours, but my thoughts often wandered back to JM. What we had started felt different from anything I had experienced before, and the more time I spent with him, the more I realized how deeply my feelings for him had grown. But I was also learning that navigating this relationship wasnât going to be as simple as I had hoped.
It was Wednesday evening when I received a text from JM, just as I was about to head out to grab dinner.
JM: Hey Junno, can I ask you something?
I raised an eyebrow. It was unusual for him to text me out of the blue like this, and it felt like a significant moment. I quickly typed back.
Junno: Of course, whatâs up?
A few seconds passed before he replied.
JM: Do you ever think about what this... what weâre doing means?
My heart skipped a beat. It was the kind of question I had been avoiding asking myself, but now that it was out there, I couldnât ignore it. What did this mean? Were we crossing a line, or was this something real?
I took a deep breath and typed carefully.
Junno: Iâve been thinking about it a lot, honestly. Itâs hard not to. I think... I think weâre getting into something complicated. But I donât want to stop, either. I want to see where this goes.
The text bubble seemed to take forever to fill on the other end. My pulse quickened, and I found myself holding my breath as I waited for him to reply. Finally, the message came through.
JM: I donât want to complicate things for you, Junno. Youâre just starting your college life, and Iâm... well, Iâm not exactly in the same place. I care about you, a lot, but I donât want to put you in a position where you feel like you have to choose between us and your future.
I stared at the screen, unsure how to respond. I understood what he was saying. He was trying to protect me, trying to keep me from making a decision that might affect my future. But at the same time, I didnât want to run away from what we had. My emotions were tangled, caught between the excitement of something new and the fear of what it might mean for both of us.
Junno: Iâm not in a rush to make any decisions either. But I canât deny how I feel. I think about you all the time, and Iâm willing to face whatever comes nextâtogether.
The reply came almost immediately.
JM: Thatâs a lot to ask, Junno. I donât want you to feel pressured. But if weâre really going to do this, we need to be honest with each other. No games, no pretending.
I let his words sink in. He was right. Honesty was the key. We had both been tiptoeing around the truth, avoiding what lay beneath our conversations. But now it was time to face it.
I sent one last message before putting my phone down.
Junno: Iâm in. No games. Just... us.
The weight in my chest lifted slightly as I hit send. It felt like we were on the same page now, like we were both ready to face whatever came next. But there was a lingering sense of uncertainty, and I knew weâd have to take this one day at a time.
---
The next few days were a whirlwind. I felt a constant tug in my chest when I thought about JM, and the small moments we shared in between classes seemed to be the highlight of my day. But there was a tension now, an unspoken awareness that we were venturing into deeper waters.
One afternoon, I found myself in the library, nose buried in my textbook, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to see JM standing there, his usual calm smile replaced with something a little more intense.
"Hey," he said, his voice low. "Got a minute?"
I nodded, my heart racing. "Of course. Whatâs up?"
He glanced around the library, ensuring no one was watching, then leaned in a little closer. "Can we talk? Not here. Somewhere more private."
My stomach fluttered. I couldnât ignore the tension in the air as I followed him out of the library and toward the courtyard. It was quieter outside, and I could feel my nerves building with every step.
Once we were seated on a bench, away from the crowds, JM turned to me, his expression serious. "Junno, I donât want to hide anymore. Iâm done pretending this isnât happening between us."
I could barely breathe as he spoke. My pulse quickened, but I knew I couldnât run from this.
"Neither do I," I replied, voice barely above a whisper. "But we need to be careful, JM. This isnât just between us. People are starting to talk."
He nodded, his brow furrowing in thought. "I know. Iâve heard the rumors. Itâs hard to ignore them, but Iâm not going to let them dictate what we have."
I took a deep breath, my mind racing. "What if theyâre right? What if weâre making a mistake?"
JM reached out, his hand brushing against mine, a gentle reassurance. "Weâre not making a mistake, Junno. Iâve never been more sure of anything in my life. But Iâm not blind to the risks, either. I just... I want to be with you. I donât care about the rumors. I donât care what anyone else thinks."
His words hung in the air, and for a moment, I didnât know what to say. My mind was a whirlwind of emotionsâfear, excitement, and something else I couldnât quite put into words. But as I looked into his eyes, I realized that whatever this was, I didnât want to let it go. Not yet.
"I want to be with you too," I said, my voice steadier now. "But we need to be careful. We have to take things one step at a time."
JM gave me a small, relieved smile. "I can do that. Weâll take it slow, Junno. But I wonât let go."
---
The conversation that afternoon didnât answer all the questions, but it gave me a sense of peace I hadnât felt in days. We werenât rushing into anything. We were just being honest, facing what was happening between us with the same vulnerability and trust we had built so far.
We walked back to the campus together, the tension from earlier replaced with a quiet understanding. Whatever came next, we were ready to face itâtogether.