Chapter 26

Yes, its been over a month since I've updated. I've been dealing with some stuff recently. Sorry :(

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I stepped up onto the pedestal, opening out my piece of scruched up paper.

I felt a slight breeze flutter the hem of my black dress, the cold crawling up my bare legs. But, I could barely feel it, my entire body was too numb and already crawling with goosebumps.

Everyone looked up at me, waiting for me to begin.

So I did.

'Most of you probably aren't aware that Valerie is not my biological child. In fact, you probably never thought about how she suddenly showed up one fine day, 4 years old, because she looked exactly what you would expect my daughter would look like.

But, she was actually a small girl who Christan and I were supposed to drop off at the nearest orphanage, as her parents couldn't see what an amazing daughter they had. However, we couldn't leave her, not after the few hours we had spent falling in love with her.

So Christan and I adopted her, took her home, and she was automatically our daughter. She adjusted to every change with a smile; no one would've guessed she was human if they weren't told.

She bought an immense amount of joy with her, and everyday spent with Valerie was one with no regrets. She was brave, caring, beautiful, strong, smart, little, funny, and the most amazing daughter I could have ever prayed for.

There were days when I would walk in on her and Christan doing things like having water and paint fights. I should have been a bit angry, but with Valerie.. all I could do was join in. She wasn't just an adopted daughter, not to me; not to anyone.' My eyes landed on Christan sitting in the front row, his eyes clear as glass as he listened to what I was saying.

He had wanted me to do it, to say this here and now. I accepted, knowing just how much stronger than me he's been the past 3 weeks. It was my turn to be strong.

'Valerie formed unbreakable relationships and thoughts formed about her through the eyes of many. She was the tiny gamer who beat Luke in every game of Fifa, the cheeky godchild who Kaitlyn wanted to waste all her money on, the smart granddaughter my parents adored.. the young love of a small boy' I cast my eyes upon the boy staring at the floor, his dark hair tousled upon his head.

His black eye was better healed than the first time he ran into the room where Valerie was resting, five days after the terrible incident. Ryder was her first visitor, even after being restricted by his mother to give us space, and came to sit beside Valerie's bed every day since.

Even Christan let Ryder stay in the room wholeheartedly, considering the reason he had a black eye was because he had run after the wolf who had bitten Valerie. He was out for a walk with his mother that night, and caught sight of us rushing Valerie inside the house. He chased after the moonwalker.

Ryder, a boy less than 6 years old, went after a dangerous wolf, knowing the consequences.

He loved Valerie that much.

I paused, feeling my eyes beginning to water as I read the next line off the page.

'Valerie was a world you never wanted to leave. I never thought I would have to say goodbye, not this soon. Nobody did' My voice cracked, tears streaming down my cheeks.

My eyes wandered to the small coffin beneath me, Valerie's lifeless body lying still. Clothed in her favourite formal dress, a single white camellia held loosely between her fingers; pale but beautiful as always.

'.. I love you Valerie. I love you so much, more than you can ever imagine. You're a true angel, I know heaven will love you as much as we do' I smiled slightly through my flow of tears, remembering the way she used to smile.

'Rest in peace sweetheart-'

I barely choked out the last four words, unable to look away from her coffin.

'-Till we meet again'

I stepped down off the pedestal, a small drop of water falling on the bridge of my nose from the grey clouds above me. The trees were waving in the slight breeze around the many gravestones that were slowly being coated in tiny raindrops.

I made my way over to Valerie's coffin, placing a small framed photo of the three of us beside her still frame.

'We'll never forget you Val, ever' I whispered, a small smile rising to my lips at the photo of Christan, Valerie and I on her 5th birthday.

We all watched as they lowered her into the cold ground, shoveling the brown and soggy dirt over her matt black coffin. The rain kept pouring as we stood around the place where Valerie was sent to rest, speaking the final words of blessing as the procession ended.

People begun to slowly depart, wishing Christan and I their sympathies as they did. The whole process seemed like the weather.

Dull.

Everything had gone by like it was nothing; like she was nothing.

And it hurt.

It hurt like getting a hard slap to the face by someone.

A slap that makes you disorientated, confused, angry.

Why.. why did you slap me?

Was it something I did?

What did I do to deserve this?!?

Soon everyone was gone, except for Christan and I who stood shoulder to shoulder in the rain that began to pour, doing nothing but watching the newly covered dirt patch in the ground, and leaving our thoughts to roam within our heads.

My skin pricked sour as the rain continued to beat down, clothes clinging to my skin, hair clinging to my face.

I barely heard the footsteps slosh in the mud behind us, nor the voice of my mother yelling out to us.

'Christan! Jesse! We have to leave, you'll both catch a death from this cold!'

We both stayed silent.

"I don't want to leave" Christan's voice spoke in my head, for the first time in the past week.

I raised my head from the ground to find him looking straight at me. The rain was so strong, even he was having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

"Neither do I" I linked back to him.

Then we were suddenly both sheltered from the rain, and found my mother squeezing in-between us for shelter under the umbrella she was holding up.

'Kids look, I understand that you're both going through a lot. That girl was the light of your lives. But nothing is going to change if you stand out here, other than you both buying a one-way ticket to hypothermia' She said, sympathetically and reasonably.

I let out a breath as a sigh.

She was right.

'Alright. We're coming. Could we just get one more minute?' Christan pleaded with my mother.

'One minute, then please come in the car before you freeze to death' She said, handing Christam the large black umbrella.

Unexpectedly, she sprinted back across the field to the car, her frame probably soaking as she did.

I looked back at where Valerie was buried, where the cold water pounded on the loose mud.

'I hate having to leave her here, out in the cold' I said.

'I hate having to leave her here, period. I.. she's supposed to come home, with us' Christan said in reply.

He lifted his arm over my head and wrapped his arm around my wet frame, pulling me closer to him. I slowly rested my head on his chest, relying on the warmth I was receiving from being close to him.

'I'm gonna kill that son of a b*tch. I want him dead' Christan growled, his chest rumbling lowly.

'Him, and everyone involved with him. Let them all burn in hell' Christan spat out his words angrily.

'I am unbelievably ready for that' I said firmly.

**

I slid into the bathtub beside Christian, bubbles popping against my skin. We had both flung our soggy black clothes in the corner. My eyes were red and sore from crying, my entire body ready to collapse.

'Is this officially a tradition? Because I quite like this tradition' Christan's voice was still rough from the funeral, yet he flirted and smiled through the hurt.

He made me smile too.

The past weeks, we've been in the bathtub together every night we left Valerie for those few hours to refresh. It was for comfort mostly. There was something about just being that close to him.. like nothing could ever break the perfect world he created for me.

'I would be lying if I said I didnt quite like this tradition' I smiled cheekily, making his grin wider.

'However, I do feel we need a larger bathtub' I said, gesturing to his whole right arm and shoulder, completely out of the water. My one foot was out of the tub and coldee than the other.

'Nah' Christian shook his head, pulling his arm in as much as he could, resting his hand on the calf of my leg.

'If the tub was bigger, I wouldn't get a good excuse to be as close to you as I am now' He smirked, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

'Yeah.. you're right. You wouldn't' I smirked back.

He faked shock and gasped, before splashing me with bubbly water.

I groaned in pain as the soapy fluid crashed against my eyes, stinging slightly. It didnt really hurt too much, but I still turned on the tap and washed my eyes out with clean water. Luckily the tap is on my side of the tub.

'Crap! You okay Jess?' Christian pushed his back away from his corner of the tub, leaning closer to me.

He rested his hand on my bare shoulders, his other hand lifting up my head to show me his face full of concern.

'No, it's like my entire universe is burning in pain!' I groaned out loudly in fake pain, unable to stop the small smirk on my lips.

Christan rolled his eyes, as I laughed out loud.

'Come here you sarcastic twat' He pulled my face to his, kissing me sweetly and softly.

My hands automatically went to wrap around his neck, letting his hands slowly move over to my bare back. He tugged my body closer to his, deepening the kiss.

It was passionate, beautiful.

Some part of me even felt electrified and rebellious, knowing that we're doing this all in secret. Being a teenager makes it 10 times more exhilarating, considering it's something being hidden from parents.

Another part was in wonderment of the fact that I was with such an amazing person, who loves me as much as I love him.

But the part of me that took the strongest toll, was the part that poured in the emotions and hurt from the past weeks, letting it all drift away for the slightest moment as I lost myself in Christian.

I let it drift for as long as possible, before it would come back down and crash on me again.

Death just isn't nice at all.

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