Chapter 8

Okay can I just:

Just because you say "Little Black Dress", doesn't mean you're quoting One Direction.

ONE DIRECTION DID NOT INVENT THE USE OF THE PHRASE "LITTLE BLACK DRESS".

It went down in history and is remembered for Centuries okay?

P.S: THAT was a song quote.

FCS DIRECTIONERS.

Not hating on ya'll, but seriously.

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Recap:

'Are you okay?' He asked softly. I was going to ignore his offer of his open hand to help me up, but I didn't.

The moment my hand barely brushed against his, sparking electricity ran up my arm, filling my whole body. Rae, my wolf howled in delight.

"Mate!" She screamed inside my head.

Crap.

--

(A/N Thought I should put that there :P)

-Jesse's POV-

I gasped, staring at him with wide eyes. He returned the expression, but he didn't look as surprised as I was. In fact, he looked like he knew this was coming.

That would explain what he did next anyway.

Before I could even think, my back was pressed up against a wall.

And I thought walls were supposed to help me tonight.

His one hand rested on my waist, the other resting on my head so it didn't slam against the wall when he had moved me there.

His hands let out some kind of fire on my skin, roaming through my body and igniting fireworks inside me I didn't know existed.

He pressed his forehead to mine, staring into my eyes with his darkened brown enchanting orbs.

'I knew it. I knew you were my mate' Christan's husky voice sent chills through my body.

A smirk played on his lips in a knowingly fashion.

The last word made my heart skip a beat.

Mate.

His luscious scent filled me, melting me into him. Christan did nothing but keep his body pressed up at mine, looking straight into my eyes like he could see my soul.

I wanted him. Oh God I wanted him so bad.

His hand carressed my cheek as he pulled his head back slightly. This was like nothing I had ever felt before, unexplainable. His mere touch was driving me crazy, my thoughts blurred.

Mate.

He was my mate!

I, Jesse Mary-Anne Drake has my mate!

Christan Issac Drake.. could my life be better-

Drake.

My clouded thoughts immediately came clear.

Stepbrother. He is my Stepbrother.

My eyes widened with shock yet again, horror and sadness filling me this time round. I ducked out of his arms, almost leaping to the other side of the corridor. His face dropped to confusion, a bit of hurt.

'N-n-no your not my m-mate' I shook my head.

My voice came out as a stutter, my head inable to wrap itself around it all.

His face suddenly turned to one of pain, as he took a step closer to me. He was shaking a little uncertainly.

'What.. what do you mean? Are you rejecting me?' He asked in barely a whisper.

That word had a huge impact on me as well.

"What are you doing Jesse! Stop this right now!" Rae screamed at me in desperation, but I didn't listen.I couldn't.

I took a deep breath.

I was going to say them, I really was. I just couldn't.

'There's no rejecting to do, because you are not my mate' The words escaped my lips blackly, dead almost.

Christan's frame immediately just dropped dead. He froze, staring at me with wide and emotionless eyes.

My heart cracked, emotion unable to appear in me. I felt numb. So I walked away. I walked right away, feeling empty.

I left him there.

I knew the feelings I felt for him before were different. I knew I shouldn't have let him even get as close as he already is. I hadn't even known Christan long, but he had already stolen my heart, my soul; My living breath.

But now that was gone. Gone because I'm.. afraid. Afraid of what other people will think.

Mostly because of my mother.

Theodore is the only happiness in her life right now, as jealous as I may be. After that day, she was never the same. I couldn't get her back for years. I know her and I know she reacts irrationally to anything.

I can't take the risk of putting her there again. Even if it means my possible happiness, I promised my father on the verge of his death I would keep her happy and I will. Being with him would ruin that, mates or not.

Mate. My mate.

As I sat on Vanessa's bed, I finally let a tear slip through my eyelids. They didn't stop flowing, and I couldn't do anything but enjoy the darkness that seemed to envelope me.

I hope you have a good reason for this Moon Goddess.

For making Christan my mate, when you knew it would cause so much conflict.

"You rejected him. Our mate." Rae's voice spoke in my mind. She was soft, on the verge of cracking. Hurt.

"I had to. For my mum. I didn't want to, Rae please believe me I-" I started explaining pathetically, before she interrupted me.

"You didn't just reject your mate Jesse. You rejected mine. MY mate. He was our half, and now he's gone. Love would've overcome anything, even your mother's reasoning" She said slowly.

No no no. Rae I'm so sorry. Please just don't go. Please.

I couldn't bring myself to say what I wanted to say. I wasn't worth it.

She left me with that. Rae hid herself and her thoughts away from me. Probably forever.

My best friend, almost my sister, myself is gone. Lost.

Moon Goddess I really do hope you have a fantastically amazing reason for letting this happen.

*

Knock. Knock. Knock.

My bloodshot eyes cracked open, wandering to the clock beside me.

3am? Really?

'Who's in there?' Vanessa slurred loudly outside the door.

I looked around. Why was I in her room?

'Its okay baby, just come into my room' Another voice slurred from the door.

It was a male's voice. What? Vanessa's with a-

'Nicholas' Vanessa's muffled groan was awfully loud.

There was a loud thump against the door, making me jump.

Ughh guys. Get away from the door.

My best bet is they were making out against the door. Its gross, yet kinda cute that she finally is with mate-

Mate.

Maybe it was just a dream? Maybe I was drunk and fell asleep on Vanessa's bed? I mean, Christan can't be my mate. He cant.

Besides, Rae is never that mad at me. She would never just leave me like that.

A soft yawn left my lips. I told myself to believe it was a dream, so I could go to sleep in my own bed.

I swung my legs over the edge, heading to the door. I unlocked it, swinging open the door.

I had to jump to my side, as two entangled bodies fell at my feet. I fake gagged, turning back to her bathroom.

I slipped my hand into the stash Vanessa had held onto since the Sex Talk when we were about 14.

I dared her to keep them till her actual first time.

Guess this was the right time considering she was devouring her mate halfway inside her bedroom.

I stepped over the two bodies, closing my eyes as I did so. I didn't want to remember any images tomorrow.

'Use a couple. With they way you're going at it you'll need it, and I am NOT ready to be an Aunty' I said, throwing the two packets on their tangle.

I immediately left, hearing Vanessa giggle after me. Wow. She really is pissed.

I opened the door to my room, seeing Christan's figure laying on the bed. I crawled under the ever present warmth of the covers, beside him.

His bottom lip quivered as he slept, mumbling and looking awfully unsettled. He looked like he was having a nightmare. My heart clenched a little for him, wanting to do something to help him.

I wanted to hug him, to stroke his hair and coo him to sleep, but something told me I shouldn't. So I did the only thing I could.

'Lights will guide you home

And ignite you're bones

And I will try

To fix you'

I sang softly, watching as he slowly calmed down.

His face looked less distressed now. The small face he makes when he sleeps appeared on his face, the face where he purses his lips softly and soft snores escape them.

I had seen this face so many times before when I had cut short my nightmares, and it had always helped me remember what's real. The reality that its over, all done with.

I felt a small smile curl on my lips, the bittersweet darkness consuming me as well.

*

I woke up to soft breath ticking my neck, a deep mumble slowly rising me out of my dream.

'...Promise.. never.. up.. you' Was all I could make out of the seemingly louder mumble.

My feeling senses came aware, helping me to realise this person had his body tangled with mine, holding me close against his bare chest.

I felt the warmness and sparks roam throughout my body, so powerful it made me never want to leave his arms.  I was still too tired to recognise who it was.

At least I knew I was too exhausted because it cannot possibly be the person I think it is.

This person is my mate, I know he is.

'Morning Jay' He spoke softly, as if he could see a change in me.

'Time to wake up' He said deeply.

I almost immediately obeyed his command. His voice had such a sharp effect on me. It was a deep voice, like a chocolate waterfall gushing down, so delicious you want to hear the sound every day. But this was probably just his morning voice.

I opened my eyes to look up into the most amazing brown eyes in existance. But I swear I knew them.. is that?

Can't be.

'Im dreaming..' I mumbled, snuggling into his chest again.

I hoped he would be a different person when I opened my eyes again.

A deep chuckle escaped his lips, his chest rumbling against mine. Well that and the butterflies going crazy in my stomach.

'You're not dreaming Jay, but it is time to wake up' Christian's voice spoke to me.

It's one of those amazing dreams again. Where I wake up in his arms and stay snuggled in bed beside him the whole day. I chose to keep anything dirty out of that.

'I am, you call me Jay only in my dreams' I mumbled yet again.

Its my favourite nickname so far.

'Jeeesseeee' He moaned, shaking me lightly.

'That statement just proves I am dreaming' I said, my eyes still closed.

'How so?' He asked, stroking my hair softly. Anything he was doing was melting me.

'You only ever moan my name in my dreams' I replied simply, making a chuckle erupt from his throat.

'What else do I do in your "dreams"?' He asked, a playful tone in his voice.

I could almost see the smirk he had playing on his lips, although I couldn't physically see him.

'Very naughty things, but sometimes it's romantic cause you take me out for a date under the stars. Then you pull out a guitar and sing to me, becoming my absolute perfect guy'

'I do play the guitar you know' He whispered lowly in my ear.

His warm breath tickled my cold earlobe, bringing the only part of my body that wasn't heated to the boil.

'Then I guess you are perfect you cocky asshole' I mumbled into his chest, my hand being lifted onto his chest.

I didn't even realise our fingers were intwined. His perfectly sculpted chest was killing me.

'Does cocky and asshole count as perfect?' He asked.

I could imagine all his facial expressions, like the raised eyebrow he must be holding now.

'Cocky, asshole-' I started, unintwining our hands.

'Gorgeous, absolutely sexy-' I said, tracing my fingers on the outline of his rock hard chest.

'Caring, Irresistible, Musically Talented, Funny, Loving. Just a few words that define the word "Perfect" to me, the same words happening to also fit the description of you' I finished, trailing my fingers till they reached his hair.

I brushed my fingers through his brown locks till my hand settled on the back of his neck. I fluttered my eyes open, meeting the wide open ones of his. So beautiful.

If only dreams could be reality.

If only.

I sighed, knowing this dream would be awkward to think about when I awoke. I closed my eyes and did what I usually did to escape from a dream like this. One that I wanted to be reality, but one that could never be.

I never had to pinch myself out of a dream or jump off a cliff or anything crazy like that. I always had the capability of simply thinking about getting out of the dream and my mind immediately arose from it.

I opened my eyes again, seeing the same brown iris's I had seen a moment ago.

Thats why I could feel him.

Thats why I could feel him shiver when I traced the sculpture that was him.

Shit.

I ripped myself from his arms, scrambling off the bed in such a hurry I felt myself hit the floor.

'Great' I huffed, rubbing my ass a little.

'You alright?' I looked up a little, seeing his face.

It held a small smirk, and a hand to pull me back up.

I couldn't comprehend it all.

'I.. you really are... you can't actually be... no no no-' My breath turned shallow and hazy, and I didn't know what to do.

It had happened. All of it. It wasn't just a dream.

Christan Issac Drake is my mate.

The one I can't help but be attracted to.

The one I'm supposed to love unconditionally and be with forever.

The one who I do love unconditionally and want to be with forever.

The one who would be my shoulder to cry on, chest to lie on, my everything.

The one who I dreamt of day and night.

The one who would never let me go.

The one who I would have to let go.

The one whose father happened to marry my mother.

The one who could be the cause of pushing my mother back into that place of darkness and ruins.

My Stepbrother.

My Mate.

Christan snapped me out of my raced thoughts. He was crouched down beside me, lifting my chin up to look into his concern-filled eyes. That one touch had electricity racing through my body, now that I was fully awake.

'I am. You know it, I know it, you can't deny it' He searched my eyes for an answer.

My throat was suddenly dry, no words able to be formed to release from my lips.

You do this, you ruin you're mothers happiness. She will go back to the place she went when your father died, and wont come out. Her pain will be equivalent to the guilt that will be with you, forever.

"Its a second chance Jess. Please" Rae's voice croaked.

"She'll look at me with anger and disgrace. Something will happen between Theodore and her. I can't let her feel that pain again Rae. If that means my pain, then so be it." I replied back blankly to her.

I blocked her out before she could try and protest.

I looked back at Christan, avoiding his eyes. I would never be able to say it while looking into those big brown eyes.

'I will never be your mate. This is nothing. We are nothing. We will never be anything. I, Jesse Mary-Anne Drake, reject you, Christan Issac Drake as my mate' I spoke.

My heart clenched at the words.

I could only dare to imagine what Christan would be feeling currently.

He probably wouldn't care, its not like I'm anything great to waste feelings over, right?

That thought changed as soon as I looked to his face again, still avoiding his eyes. I felt tears batting against my eyelids, threatening to escape.

If I had looked into his eyes I would've taken it back, and sworn to never hurt him again because the amount of hurt I felt when I saw his face was enough to make my heart crack in two. Almost literally.

I knew I needed to stop looking at his face, to distract myself and stay strong.

I dropped my eyes to the door behind him, walking towards it like I wasn't completely heartbroken at all. I walked as quickly as I could, yet just not quick enough.

Christan grabbed my hand, his touch sending a rush of electric charges up my arm, but I ignored that as he faced me.

'Well I, Christan Issac Drake swear to never ever accept your rejection' He said.

His eyes burnt with determination, like he had just created a goal he needed to complete.

Despite wanting to do the opposite, I used my "acting skills" a bit longer. My eyes rolled, yanking my hand from his and turning on my heel.

'Good luck with that' I tried to say angrily, not daring to turn around as I continued walking away.

I'm pretty sure my supposedly "angry" tone came out as regret and sadness to leave though.

So much for my "acting skills".

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I'm sorry I'm so awful at updating :/

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-Shanaynay Xx