Filthy Savage: Chapter 10

As soon as I land, Emily’s there, grinning as she waves from her white sedan.

“Hey! You’re all tanned and sexy.” She helps me with my luggage before we shuffle into the car and she’s taking us on the road.

“Yeah, guess I did get a nice tan.” I slide my hair behind my ear, releasing a sigh.

Her dark eyes narrow. “What’s the matter? Did the asshole call you?”

“No.” I stare out the window, feeling a pang of guilt over not telling her about Fionn.

We tell each other everything, but I’d rather not talk about him. Easier that way.

“Then what’s wrong?”

I shrug. “Just hate that I have to go home.” Blowing a breath, I give her a small smile. “Sorry, don’t mean to be all doom and gloom.”

“I don’t blame you.” She places a hand on my forearm. “You’ve had it harder than anyone I know.”

“It could always be worse.” I force a smile. “Thanks again for picking me up and for the money. You’re the best, you know that?”

“I know.” She cocks her chin.

“I promise I’ll pay you back ASAP.”

“Oh, shut up. It’s a gift.”

My mouth widens. “Absolutely not! I will pay you back.”

“Okay.” She shrugs, smirking. “Whatever makes you happy, but I’ll just give it back to you.”

My eyes water, and I try not to cry.

She’s always been the one person I can count on in this world. Don’t know what I’d do without her. She even stayed back and didn’t go to the college she wanted to attend all because my mother forced me to quit high school.

She said she had cancer. She never actually did.

Knots form in my gut at the memories.

Unfortunately, I didn’t know that. Not until it was too late.

AGE 17

I stare at the letter from my dream school, the one Emily was already accepted to last week, unable to open it. Every day, I’ve checked the mail, hoping I got accepted too.

“I don’t think I can look.” I clutch it against my chest. “What if they said no?”

She rolls her eyes. “Then they’re idiots. You have a better GPA than I do. Of course you got in.”

My pulse hammers as I start to open it.

“Plus, I’ll go wherever you do anyway.” She runs her fingers through her shoulder-length chestnut waves.

“You’ve always wanted to go to UCLA. Of course you’ll go.”

She shoves me playfully. “Stop telling me what to do and open it!”

“Okay, okay!” I grimace, my stomach twisted up with nerves.

My fingers start gently tearing open the flap.

“Amara.” My mother’s voice comes through before she shoves the door open. “Oh, hi, you’re here,” she mutters at Emily, who has perfected her stink-eye when it comes to my mother.

“What is it, Mom?”

She sighs all dramatically and starts further inside, and I know instantly it’s nothing good. I’m sure she’s gonna tell me she’s quitting that job she got at the supermarket last week, or maybe her latest boyfriend stopped selling her drugs, so she found another. It could be literally anything with her.

“I’ve got some news, and it ain’t good.” Her eyes pinch closed, and her chin trembles like she’s crying, but I don’t see any tears.

“Mom? What is it?” Fear grips me as I steal glances at Emily, who seems more curious than concerned.

“Can you leave so I can talk to my daughter alone?” She scowls at my friend, who folds her arms over her chest.

“Think I’ll stay.”

“Mom, it’s fine. Whatever it is, you can tell us both.”

“Okay.” She sighs, her body deflating. “Not like she won’t find out anyway.”

Emily’s eyes connect with mine, and fear passes through me. Maybe something is wrong this time. Really wrong.

“I’ve got cancer,” she blurts out like she’s telling me what she wants for dinner.

I suck in a gasp. “What? I—I—I don’t understand.”

“I know,” she huffs. “I went for my gyno visit last week and the doc told me the news. Said it’s pretty bad. Need to get chemo and radiation and all that starting in a few days.”

“Oh my God!” I jump off the bed, throwing my arms around her. No matter how terrible she’s been to me, she’s still my mother. “I’m so sorry. You’re gonna be okay, right?”

She barely hugs me before pushing me off, and that little part of me that has always wanted her love dies even more.

“I hope so. The doc wants me to quit my job, though. Says I can’t be doing manual labor when I’m on chemo.”

“Right. Of course. We’ll figure it out. You just focus on getting better.”

“Well, that’s the thing.” She clears her throat. “I already figured it all out.”

“What do you mean?” Confusion swirls as she pushes her knotty brown hair behind her shoulder.

“Being that I can’t work and you’re more than capable, I decided it’s gonna be you who’ll be working because we’re gonna have to pay rent or we’ll end up on the street.”

“Uh, okay. Yeah, of course. I can get some shifts at the movie theater after school. They were looking for people.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “That’s not gonna cut it. You’re gonna have to quit school and work actual jobs instead of going to college. That whole going-away-to-school plan you had going ain’t gonna work out for me anymore.”

“What?” Emily fires before I can get a word out.

My world spins, tears burning behind my eyes.

“Are you telling me you’re gonna force your daughter to quit high school just so she can go work to support you when you have never held a damn job for more than a week?”

My mother moves toward her, nostrils flared. “You have some nerve speaking to me like that, you little rich bitch. What do you know about the real world when Mommy and Daddy hand you everything on a silver platter? You’ve never had to work for a thing in your life.”

Emily’s features go visibly tight. “And I know my parents would never tell me to quit school just so I could work. They’d do whatever they could to make sure I graduated and had an education.”

She tsks. “Please! An education? The only education a girl needs is to know how to use her body to get what she wants. That’s all, honey. Maybe you’ll learn one day.”

Emily’s mouth twitches like she’s about to say something else, her expression so rage-filled, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this way.

“I’m going now. Gotta call your school to tell them you won’t be coming back.”

“Nonono! Please, Mom!” I rush over and grab her wrist. “I—I swear, I can work two jobs. I can help! But please, I need to finish school. I need to go to college!”

My heart feels as if it’s being torn piece by piece, but she merely snickers.

“Sorry, honey. But sometimes we gotta make sacrifices for people we love, and this is yours.”

My hands shake as I sob. “Please! I’ve never asked for anything. But I’m asking, Mom. Please let me do this! I can help us. I can get better jobs with a degree. I’ve always wanted to go to⁠—”

“Stop making a scene, Amara. You look pathetic.”

My heart still stings from her words. Her lies.

She fooled me. Made herself appear sick. Even faked doctor’s appointments that her boyfriend was pretending to drive her to. He was just as much of an asshole as she was.

She wanted to ruin my life. That’s why she did it. Ruin my chances of getting an education and going away to college somewhere far away.

Now I’m stuck here. With her. Working to pay rent that she won’t pay. If I don’t, I’ll have to move. Everything is so expensive, I can’t afford it.

At least I’ve got Max, my golden retriever. Bet he missed me. I hated leaving him with my mother, but I had no choice. Emily’s mom is allergic to dogs, or she would’ve taken care of him.

“Maybe you can move in with me. My parents said you can take the basement and⁠—”

“No.” I run a hand down my face. “I appreciate that, but I’d never inconvenience your family that way, Em. Especially with your mom’s allergies.”

She sighs. “Well, the offer is always there.”

“I know. You’re too good to me, and if it wasn’t for you, I’d have no one, so thank you for being my friend.” I drop my head over her shoulder. “I mean that.”

“I love you, stupid. Don’t make me all weepy. I hate crying.”

Laughing, I squeeze her forearm.

Less than an hour later, we’re pulling up to my home—the shutters cracked, the wooden fence with broken pieces across the dead grass. I hate everything about this place.

My chest tightens as I stare at it. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay.” Her voice grows sympathetic. “If you need me, just text me.”

“I will.” Dragging a breath, I start out of the car.

Once the door closes, I head up the stairs while she waits for me to get inside. The neighborhood isn’t the best. It’s great for Mom, though. She can easily buy crack on the corner.

A pang hits my chest as I enter through the door, waving at Emily before I face her.

Will I always live here? Never having anything better?

Shaking my head, I steel my spine and head past the foyer with its yellow paint peeling. The landlord was supposed to fix it months ago, and he still hasn’t come around. Guess I’ll have to call him again.

“Max!” I glance around for him.

He usually runs right up to me. Wonder if he’s sleeping upstairs.

“Max!”

“Stop yelling.”

Mom shuffles in, her white shirt stained with spots of brown, her dark hair a disheveled mess, like she hasn’t brushed it for weeks—which she probably hasn’t. Her red-streaked eyes are glassy and spaced out as she tries to maintain her attention on me. She scratches the side of her dark hair, and I hate that I look like her.

“Where’s Max? Have you fed him while I was away?”

It was only three days, but knowing her, I have to ask.

She snickers. “He ain’t here.”

All the blood rushes out of my body. “Wh-what? Where is he?”

She shrugs.

“Max!” Moisture forms in my eyes. “What did you do to him? Max!” A sob escapes.

Her laugh only enrages me.

“You think if you yell, he’ll magically appear or something?” She rolls her eyes. “He ran out of the gate. You know there’s a hole there. It’s your problem you never got it fixed.”

When she starts to walk away, I grab her arm, my heart shattering into pieces. “You’re the parent! I’m the child!” Tears stream down my face and my body trembles. “You were supposed to watch him when he went out! That’s what I told you to do.”

I never should’ve gone away, but Xander insisted I go to the engagement party, and now Max is gone!

She flings my hand away. “Don’t fucking touch me, you ungrateful little bitch! Next time, get your mutt a sitter. I ain’t his keeper.”

“When did he run away?” I holler, my blood pumping faster in my ears.

He can’t be gone! Not Max!

I let out another sob. Maybe there’s a chance he’s still close. If he hears me calling for him, he’ll come.

“I don’t know. Sometime during the first day you left.”

“Oh my God,” I whisper, my vision blurring, my throat going dry.

He could be anywhere. Someone could’ve taken him. There are people here who use dogs for dog fighting.

“No!” I break down, while she struts away as though she didn’t just send him to a death sentence.

Wish it was her instead.

“Don’t cry.” Emily grips me tight, though she’s crying too. She loved Max. “I can’t believe she didn’t look for him or anything. My God, what an evil bitch.”

Swiping under my eyes, I separate from her. “Let’s go put up those flyers in as many places as we can. Maybe someone nice took him.”

But I’m just grasping at straws. The chances of that are slim.

“Okay. I also put up notices in different online pet groups in the area. We’ll find him.”

I’m not so sure.

Hours later, we’ve put up flyers everywhere and given them to every business we could. If there’s a chance he can be found, I’ll do anything.

Defeated, we head for Emily’s car.

“I should go and unpack to keep my mind occupied, but I don’t wanna go home and see her or see Max’s bowls in the kitchen.” Another sob wracks me as I enter the passenger side.

She grabs my hand while starting the car. “How about I help you? That way it’ll go faster. Then maybe you can come by my place for a sleepover. We can order Chinese, watch Dirty Dancing for the seventeenth time, and dream of men like Johnny.”

She’s trying to distract me from the pain; I know that. It’s not what I need, though. I want to be sad. I want to scream and cry and smash something.

I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on. I don’t want you to be alone and cry all night. That won’t help Max.”

It’s better not to be alone, but I don’t want to eat and watch a movie like nothing’s going on. Like Max isn’t out there all alone, wondering why I’m not there to bring him home.

The back of my nose stings and tears trample down my cheeks.

“Can we watch Marley and Me?” I sniffle, swiping under my eyes.

With a pout, she nods.

That movie will have us both sobbing like always, now worse than ever.

We return to my house, and I don’t see my so-called mother anywhere. Maybe her new boyfriend came to pick her up. Hopefully, he keeps her.

Entering my room, I lock the door behind us. It’s not much, but I’ve made it a home. Got a cheap bed set and some decorative pillows that Emily gave me. My luggage is in the corner where I left it before I called Emily, begging her to help me find Max.

“I don’t have a lot to put away,” I tell her as I lay the luggage flat and unzip it, removing the clothes I need to hang back in the closet while tossing the dirty ones in the hamper.

All the while, I’m thinking of Max and where he could be. He’s probably terrified.

“That’s okay. I’m here regardless.” She starts unzipping the side pockets where I have my toiletries while I head for the closet.

“So, did you like the island?” she asks. “I’ve never been.”

“Yeah, it was pretty. But I didn’t get to do much since we only did what Xander wanted.”

“Fuck that guy.” She snickers.

“Yeah,” I laugh through the tears. “Fuck that guy.”

“That’s the spirit.”

We move in silence for a few minutes, almost done with everything.

“Um, Amara?” Her voice grows tense.

I glance at her from over my shoulder. “Yeah?”

“Who’s Fionn, and why does he think your name is Emily?”

My eyes swell, a cold rush running down my arms. How the hell does she know all that?

“Um, no one?” I twist around toward her.

“Really?” She settles a hand on her hip, a brow hiked up. “Then what’s this?” She holds out an envelope.

My heart beats faster. “I have no idea.”

“That’s interesting.” She looks down at the envelope and reads. “You’re no charity case, Emily, but I thought maybe this would help. Fionn.”

When she opens the flap, she reveals a wad of cash. More money than I’ve ever seen.

“Holy shit…”

She arches a sassy brow. “Still wanna pretend you don’t know who Fionn is?”

I groan, slapping a hand over my face.

“Spill. Now.”

“Fine.” I huff out a breath, taking the envelope from her and tracing his name.

I can’t believe he did that. When did he even have a chance? He did have the key to my room. It’s how he came in when I was doing that to thoughts of him. I’m sure he sneaked off at some point.

Staring down at the cash, I can’t believe this is all mine. Then again, I can’t in good conscience use it.

Can I?

Though he did intend for me to have it, and he is rich.

No. No, I can’t.

But I don’t even know where he lives to return it. I could try looking him up with just the first name.

I stare at the cash again.

My God, how much is in here?

“I’m waiting.” Emily plops on the bed, curling her arms over her chest.

“Well, while I was on the island, I met a man.”

When I’m finished telling her everything, she can’t believe her ears.

“And you didn’t get his number? Amara! What the hell? What were you thinking?”

I lower onto the bed, releasing a jagged exhale. “I was thinking that a man like him wouldn’t want some poor nobody like me. And he was also very hot and cold, especially at first. My age bothered him most of all, I think.” I huff out a tired exhale. “Then I thought, what happens when my mother finds out he comes from money? She’d do something to ruin my relationship. You know how she is. Look what she did with Max.”

“Oh, Amara, I’m so sorry.” She squeezes my hand. “But you can’t live this way. You can’t make decisions based on what you think she’ll do. You have to escape from under her thumb.”

“And how do I do that?”

“I don’t know, but we have to figure out a way. Maybe you could get your GED and do online college classes.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

When I’m rich…

I take the money and split it up into ten piles, hiding each one in a different location in my room where I hope my mother doesn’t find it. But if she locates one pile, maybe she won’t look for more.

I still can’t get over the amount. $9,900. I have never seen this much before.

This money will really help me, and I swear to not waste a dollar unless necessary.