Filthy Savage: Chapter 12

“Don’t be nervous. They’ll love you!” Emily grabs my hand as we head up the steps to this new waterfront Italian restaurant that opened up in Boston.

I really didn’t want to come, but she insisted I needed something to get my mind off this pregnancy. She arranged a girls’ night with her friends Lilith and Patricia, who she was dying for me to meet.

“I don’t even know if I can eat anything.”

“Then get a drink. A virgin, of course.” She’s all excited, and I’m ruining it. “Come on, we’ll have fun. When was the last time you went out?”

“Um, I have no idea.”

“Exactly.”

She drags me up the rest of the way, while all I’m thinking about is the baby I’m going to have. It’s only been three days since I found out, and the shock hasn’t worn off.

As soon as we enter, two girls wave at us.

“Great, they’re here!” Emily waves back.

Oh, goody…

Meeting new people is not my favorite. There’s usually conversation involved about where I’m going to college, and I either have to lie or tell the truth and slowly die of mortification.

I stuff these thoughts away and promise to make the best of it for Emily’s sake. A maître d’ leads us to a table, where two girls stare at me with huge grins.

“Ladies, this is Amara, my best friend in the world.”

“So good to meet you! I’m Lilith. Emily hasn’t stopped talking about you since the moment we met.” She glances at Emily, her large brown eyes taking me in. She’s pretty with shoulder-length dark hair and a slim, angular face.

“And I’m Patricia.” The other girl runs a finger through her short blonde hair. “We’re thrilled to meet you.”

“Thanks. I’m happy to meet both of you.”

They sip on their drinks, quietly taking me in, before Lilith asks, “So, where do you go to college?”

Great. Here we go. It didn’t even take five minutes before the question hit.

“Oh, um…I actually don’t go to college.” As I play with my straw, my vision bounces between my water and the girl.

Emily tightens a hand around my knee.

“Oh, why?” Patricia’s green eyes narrow, and I swear they remind me of Fionn’s.

Fionn…

How badly I want to see you again. To tell you about the baby.

If it is his, I don’t even know if he’d be happy. Probably not, considering we don’t even know each other. But if there’s a chance he wants to be a part of his child’s life, then I want that too. Bet he’d be a great dad.

I tried looking for him after the money, but neither Emily nor I could locate him. It’s like he doesn’t want to be found.

I’ll have to tell Xander, though. Hopefully he’ll agree to a paternity test. There’s no way I want him to be a part of my child’s life, but I also can’t just not tell him. If he is the father, then he deserves to know. I wouldn’t do that to my baby.

“I didn’t finish high school,” I finally answer.

Both of the girls stare at me like I’ve just told them the world is about to explode.

“Oh…” Lilith attempts to hide her shock. “Do you plan to get your GED?”

“Maybe.” I shrug, wanting this line of questioning to stop. “But I do work, and I really need to find a second job, actually.”

“Why?” Her thin brows crease.

Emily’s gaze fills with sympathy. But screw it. Everyone’s going to know sooner or later.

“I found out I’m pregnant a few days ago.”

“Oh, shit,” Lilith whispers, leaning closer to the table, her eyes about to fall out of their sockets. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine being pregnant at our age. You’re, what, eighteen too?”

“Nineteen,” I correct her. “But yeah, it’s going to be rough. I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep it yet, though. I don’t really have parents to help or anything.”

“My goodness.” Patricia shakes her head, her features twisting with pity. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Is the father gonna help?”

My face turns red. I can feel it.

“Well, I was on a trip with my then-boyfriend, and we broke up while we were still away. But I met this guy there and we kinda slept together?” I slap a hand over my face.

“We’re totally not judging!” Patricia says as I look back at them.

“Her boyfriend was a complete douchebag,” Emily adds. “So hopefully he’s not the father and it’s Fionn.”

“Ooh! I love the name!” Lilith’s painted-red lips twine up at the corners. “Tell us all about him!”

And I do. I tell them about his kindness and generosity. How I haven’t been able to forget him or the magical night we shared weeks ago. But that I knew we were from different sides of the tracks and we’d never work.

“You know, my father owns a hotel not far from here,” Lilith says. “And he’s looking for help.”

“Really?” My heartbeats quickens. “What kind of job?”

Uncertainty washes over her features.

“Just tell me. I’m not picky at this point.”

“It’s a housekeeper position at Hotel Thalia. The night shift.” She grimaces. “I’m sorry. I’m sure you don’t want it, but I figured I’d offer.”

At this point, I have no choice but to accept. I have the coffee shop during the day, and then I can work nights at the hotel.

“I’d love the job if your father will have me.”

She grins. “Of course. Let me call him now.”

She gets her phone out, and as soon as he answers, her face lights up.

“Hey, Dad.” Her eyes go to mine. “Oh no, I’m fine. I was just calling because I have this friend who’s looking for work.” She pauses, nodding. “Yep. Can she start next week?” Another pause. “Great! You’re the best. Maybe bump up her salary a bit. I won’t tell.” She laughs, and my heart clenches. I wish I had that. “Love you, Dad. See ya later.”

She drops the phone back on the table, and as the conversation about their classes picks up, my eyes wander around the place.

As they do, I stare out the window to my left. A sharp gasp rolls out of me as my eyes catch sight of a man.

No. Not just any man.

A man who looks just like Fionn.

“Fionn?” I call, getting to my feet as he starts to get into a car.

The girls stop talking, staring up at me as I start to dash toward the exit.

“Fionn!” I scream louder.

Emily calls me, but I barely hear her, making it through the maze of tables to head outside so I can see if it’s really him. If it’s the man I haven’t been able to forget.

But as soon as I make it past the door, the black sports car takes off at lightning speed.

“Fionn!” I wave with both hands to no avail.

The car grows more distant. I can’t even get the license plate.

He’s gone.

“Amara? Oh my God. Was that him?” Emily appears beside me with the other two girls.

“I think so.” My pulse continues to spike.

“Oh my God.” She cups her mouth.

I sniffle, blinking past the tears. “I was this close to seeing him, and now I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance.”

“Oh, Amara.” Emily tugs me to her chest, while the other two women give me a compassionate look and return inside. “I’m so sorry. We’ll find him. And if we don’t, I’ll always be here for you no matter what.”

I grip her tighter. But as much as I love her, I wish I had more.

I wish I had a family to hold on to.