ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕪-𝕋𝕨𝕠

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒂 𝑺𝒕. 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏

I packed all of my shit as fast I fucking could and hauled ass out of the house. I got to the airport and got on the first flight to California.

My Mom called me at least 50 times in the span of my flight. I put my phone on Do Not Disturb and when I took it off, the amount of notifications I got was astonishing but expected.

You were fucking unlovable.

Angela went with Leo to meet his parents, so I had no one to talk to for now. They have been dating for two months now. I'm happy for her. He finally opened up to her.

I wish I could do the same for Kol. But, I can't. You were fucking unlovable.

I unpack my bag and take a nap for a couple of hours until a knock on my door interrupts me.

I drag myself out of bed and open the doorway. Kol stands there with flowers and Chinese food. "Usually, I would cook for you, but I know Chinese is your favorite and I can't cook that."

All of the bad energy falls out of me as I bring Kol into my embrace. His cologne dances in my nostrils and his steady heartbeat is like a tropical rhythm in my head. I look up at him from his chest and peck him softly on the lips.

"I missed you," I whisper. He smiles down at me. "I missed you more."

I let him inside and then the high simmers down.

You were fucking unlovable.

I try to stop myself from frowning, but I can't help it. Kol turns to face me. "Should I have cooked? I just thought that you wou--"

I stop him with a kiss. "Chinese is perfect. It was just a lot of shit at home."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

Yes. But, if I did...he would know. He would know the reason why I am petrified to be in another relationship. Why I just stick to one-night stands. How unlovable I am.

Kol would eventually get over me as Jeremiah did. And with Kol, everything is different. My feelings are more hyper to the max. It would crush me if I became unlovable to him.

"It's just..." I look into his hazel eyes and I want to spill my entire soul to him. Every worry. Every agony. "My Mom's just being a bitch again."

Kol looks at me skeptically. I can tell he knows. He always knows. Everything about me.

But, like Kol, he doesn't pry. He waits until I'm ready.

But, I don't think I'll ever be ready.

"How was your winter break? Get up to anything?" I change the subject.

"I told my brother about you. Well, more like Amanda asked about you and nosy Anthony heard," Kol says.

I tease him. "Aw, you care about me. You told your siblings about me."

Kol's face goes red. "Next thing I know, your parents are going to be showing up at my doorstep with baby pictures."

Kol looks away. "Of course, I care about you, Maya. I would do anything for you."

Kol stops short and my breath hitches. "Y-You care about me?"

"How could I not?"

I look down trying to hide my smile. He genuinely cared about me. You were fucking unlovable.

My smile drops and my eyes feel like they were going to water. Kol gently grabs my chin and lifts my face.

"Baby, please tell me what's wrong. I can't help you if you don't tell me," he whispers.

Tears trail down my face. "I c-can't tell you."

I start to cry even harder. "I want to tell you, but I can't because if I do..."

You were fucking unlovable.

I get up from my bed and start to pace around the room. Kol comes up to me and steadies my hips.

He rests his forehead on mine. "Breathe for me, sweetheart."

I take deep breaths. You were fucking unlovable. My deep breaths continue until I reach the point where I'm hyperventilating.

Kol runs his arms up and down my arms.

My breaths eventually calm down and I close my eyes to relax.

"I care about you too," I whisper. "So much."

"I--" Kol stops himself. My phone rings and I go to my bed to grab it. I see Angela's name on the caller ID.

"Hello?" I say. I haven't talked to Angela all week. She's been so busy with Leo and being happy.

I hear a sniffle. "Maya? Are you back from Arizona?"

"Yeah, I'm at the dorms with Kol," I respond.

"Oh...I'll just come back tomorrow then." Another sniffle.

"No, no. Come over. It's your dorm too. And you sound upset."

Suddenly, keys jiggle outside of the door and the door swings open. Angela stands in the doorway with her bags and mascara streaming down her face.

I look at Kol apologetically and walk to Angela. I bring her into a hug and she breaks down crying in my arms.

"His parents hate me!" She squeezes onto me tighter and I tiptoe us over to her bed. "What happened, Angela?"

She lets me go and sniffles. She looks over to my bed and sees Kol standing there and our showcase of Chinese sprawled over the sheets. "Oh my God, you guys were having a romantic dinner and I ruined it."

"Please, you didn't ruin anything. I was on the edge of a breakdown myself," I reply, sarcastically but every word I said was true. And I could tell Kol knew it too because he became more alert in the conversation.

"What happened, Ang? What makes you think they hate you?"

"Because they said they hated me." I try to stop myself from laughing. Not because of the situation, but because of the delivery of the way she said it. She was funny without trying. But, I digress.

"Maybe...start from the beginning?"

She sniffles again before speaking. "Well, my family is as happy about holidays as they are to see me, so I thought I was going to be alone on campus. But, then Leo asked me to come and meet his parents because I had become such a big part of his life. Even though he hasn't said I love you yet and I feel like it is definitely something you would do for your girlfriend you're so cra--"

I hold up a hand to stop her. "Angela, please. Let's stick to one story at a time."

She sighs wistfully and then regroups. "We get to his parent's house, actually scratch that, his parent's castle. Because did I fucking mention he was richer than Jeff Bezos. His parents are some hot-shot 5th-generation business tycoons."

"He's their only child, so there was no one to get to know, but his parents. I thought everything was going well. They got to know me. Asked about my major and my family. They were really impressed when I told them I was in law, but not so impressed when I told them about how poor my family was."

I internally face palm for her. I know exactly how rich people can be. Especially for their only child. "But, other than that I thought the entire week was going well. But, today when I woke up, Leo wasn't in our bed. So, I went to look for him and overheard him talking with his parents."

Angela was full-out crying hysterically now. I look over at Kol and he has the same expression as I did. "They said that they didn't approve of me. That I wasn't up to the status of the Ridley family and that he should break up with me right away. But, Leo being the sweetheart he is, berated his parents. He said he would never break up with me and would stay with me as long as he wants."

She starts rocking back and forth, sobbing. "Okay, Angela...if Leo doesn't care what his parents say then what's the problem?"

She glares at me. "You'll understand when you meet Kol's parents. Knowing your boyfriend's parents don't like you messes you up inside."

Kol looks at me and my face flushes and becomes hot. "K-Kol is n-not my boyfriend. We're just....friends."

Friends tasted like metal in my mouth and I see Kol wince. His eyes sharpen and I look away from him.

Angela rolls her eyes. "I need a shower."

Angela grabs her stuff and leaves the dorm room, leaving me and Kol alone. I sit in silence as I feel him eyeing me up.

"Uh...it's getting pretty late and dealing with Angela is going to take a little while. So, I'll just see you later," I prompt.

Kol skins his teeth. "Yeah, later."

I walk him to the door and open it. He looks back at me and there's a look of something in his eye. Hurt. Sadness.

"Friends, Maya? We're just friends?"

"How would you describe us?"

He doesn't respond. Instead, he leaves and closes the door behind me.

How do you describe us?  Because I wouldn't even know where to begin.

End of Chapter Thirty-Two

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