ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕥𝕪-𝔽𝕚𝕧𝕖

𝑴𝒂𝒚𝒂 𝑺𝒕. 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒏

"Maya, it's me, Kol. I'm guessing you deleted and blocked my number already. I-I had so much to say and now that I'm calling you and leaving a voice message, I can't seem to say anything. Well, actually I can say a few things. Maya, I love you. I love you so much that it hurts to breathe without you near. I think about you constantly and everything about you drives me insane."

"Please call me back. It's been a month since I've last seen or spoken to you. I can't stand not being near you. Maya...no matter what happens or what you think, just know that I will always love you. No matter what."

I gasp awake and the tears are already streaming down my face. Today is the first day of college. It was Kol's last year. All I had to do was avoid him throughout the entire year and I would never have to see him again.

I wait in bed for a few minutes before my alarm goes off. I turn it off and drag myself out of bed.

I get ready for school. I decide to wear a white solid scoop neck tank top with khaki capri pants.

I lock my apartment door and walk to my car. This was hard. Going on the same campus as him. Knowing there was a chance I would run into him.

I drive to school and the closer I get, the stronger the overwhelming urge to throw up gets.

I exit my car and Charlotte meets up with me hand and hand with her girlfriend, Esther. All of that talking and giggling over the phone finally got somewhere.

"How are you doing, M? Y'know being back on campus with the chance of running into him after almost a year," she asks, rubbing my arm.

I give a half-hearted shrug. "I'm not bothered."

Charlotte raises an eyebrow at me. "Maya, you barely left your house these past months. I'm your friend. You can't fool me."

"I don't what I'm supposed to say, Char. I can't stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try."

"Then why don't you be with him? I've yet to hear a logical explanation for all of this," she sighs.

You were fucking unlovable.

I wipe away the shadow of tears and let out a deep breath. "This year I am focused on nothing but schoolwork. I'm 19 and I certainly don't have time to grovel over a boy."

"So you admit you were grovelling?" I look at Charlotte's victory smile. She was cheesing like she had just won a big race.

"I have to get to Econ. Goodbye." I walk away from Charlotte and Esther and past by two couples, feet apart, sucking each other's faces off.

Could people have some fucking decorum?

I roll my eyes and groan. I trudge to Econ and happen to be one of the first ones there. I take a seat in the middle and prepare my materials for class.

I don't even notice when somebody takes a seat right next to me. "Long time no see."

I turn and look at the red-haired Adonis with glasses. "Joseph? What the hell are you doing in California?"

"I transferred from Arizona State to here," he shrugs. I sputter. "W-Why would you do that?"

He shrugs and his face breaks out into a crinsom shade. I forgot how easily he blushed. "I missed you, butterfly."

Butterfly. I hadn't heard him call me that in a long time. "I heard California had a better business program anyway, so...here I am."

I look at him completely ajard as he stares at me. "H-How have you been?" I ask. "What have you been getting up to? Did you get a girlfriend?"

"I actually did...a couple months after you left." His expression pained. "I was so wrecked after you were gone because we never really got our fighting chance. But then I met Julie and she lit up my entire life. It was a magical nine months. I was happy and in love. But, when I came to bring her lunch at work, I saw her bent over her bosses desk."

I gasp at his words and instively grab his hand and interlock it with mine. "I'm so sorry that happened to you."

He shrugs. "It is what it is. It was for the best anyway. No matter the love I felt for her, I could never forget about you."

My hand falls out of his on impulse and his face slightly drops. "You said you didn't want any ties holding you back in Arizona. But, I'm here now, Maya. We can be together. No one can stop us."

As much as I hate it, my mind drifts back to Kol and the months we spent together. How happy I was. Not in the sex, but the little moments.

Our movie nights and the dates. Cooking together and talking about anything and everything.

I knew in the past I wasn't a relationship person. But, maybe I could change that. I don't have any romantic feelings towards Joseph, but they could develop with time.

"One date," I finally say. His face breaks out into excitement and he brings me into a kiss. It was short, but sweet.

As much as I wanted to forget about Kol, I couldn't. The kiss didn't have that passion that Kol and I's did. I almost felt like I was betraying him.

Kissing another man. Going on a date with him.

But, maybe it wasn't so bad since it wasn't what I feel for Kol.

I don't think anything could compare what I feel for Kol.

"Does 8 o'clock tonight work for you?" he asks. I give him a small smile and nod. "It's great."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"He asked you on a date?!" Angela exclaimed. She invited me over to Leo's apartment since that's where she practically lives.

I nod. "I knew he had a thing for me back in Arizona and I always gave the lame-ass excuse of me going to college in California and not wanting anything holding me back. He came to California partly for me, so it would be rude to at least not go on one date."

Angela rolls her eyes. "Maya Anneliese St. Martin, you do not owe this man anything. You had no arrangement or secret agreement to wait on each other. He made the stupid decision to transfer schools for a girl he wasn't even certain wanted him. You don't like him so, why put yourself through that? And what about Kol?"

It's my turn to roll my eyes. "And what about him? I don't want to be in a serious relationship and I'm trying to move on."

"What's stopping you from being in a serious relationship? One where you are loved and cared for. When you don't ever have to question your partner's intentions. You trust them with your life," Angela pleaded.

"I don't want the fairty-tale cookie-cutter bullshit you have, Angela. No offense, I'm glad you've found someone that makes you feel that way, but I'm not you. That's not how I want to live my life," I mutter.

Angela releases a breath as Leo comes from his bedroom. "Angel, I'm heading to the gym. I'll see you later."

There's a bit of awkward silence as they both look at me. I roll my eyes. "You can kiss goodbye, I'm not going to fucking break."

Angela's face breaks out into a happy smile as she and Leo's lips crash down on each other. I watch as they kiss. Imagining what that would be like.

When you don't ever have to question your partner's intentions. You trust them with your life.

A part of me wanted that desperately and I thought of what it would be like with Kol. But, every time I even think about being happy and in love, Jeremiah's words haunted me.

You were fucking unlovable.

I don't know how I would live my life like this. This fuckwad had found yet another way to screw me up mentally.

You were fucking unlovable, Maya. Sorry that everything went down, but I couldn't stand being with you any longer.

I needed to find a way to stop thinking about it. I needed to find a way to forget.

Then it clicked. I knew just what I needed to do.

End of Chapter Thirty-Five

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HEY EVERYBODY!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. We are slowly starting to get close to the end of this book. I think around 10 chapters are left.

Please don't forget to let me know of any mistakes you see in this story.

Don't forget to vote, comment, and share this story with all your Wattpad-loving friends!

Also why you are waiting for new chapters, go check out my brand new story You and I! The first five chapters are out.

Synopsis: Bri is the daughter of the town's mayor and sheriff. Everything she does is watched or observed. She likes the so-called "perfect life". The high school heartthrob and quarterback is her boyfriend. She and her friends are the most popular girls in school, with Bri as their leader. She can get anything she wants at the drop of a hat. So why does she feel unhappy? Why does it feel like something in her life is missing? It's her senior year of high school. New guy, Logan Stone comes rolling into her town and she can't take her eyes off him. Something about him makes her body feel like it's on cloud nine. But, the whole town knows that he comes from nothing but bad things. Her parents don't like him. But, what happens when she can't do anything but feel drawn to him?

I LOVE YOU GUYSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!