Chapter 16

ANNA

His harsh breathing and the steady beeping of the machine were the only sounds in the quiet room.

Anna looked at the numbers and the green lines on the monitor next to the bed but couldn’t make sense of what any of it meant.

Her eyes drifted back to the bed where Mitch lay, covered by a thin white sheet.

His eyes were closed, his lashes dark against his pale cheeks, a stark contrast to how bronze his skin normally was.

A bruise had already purpled high on one cheek—probably from when he’d hit the ground after Zach had launched himself at Mitch—and there were faded, jagged red lines along his jaw, where he’d been shredded by partially shifted claws.

They were already mostly healed thanks to Natalie, but Anna still found herself needing to take a deep breath as her eyes moved down Mitch’s body, looking at the cords that led from his chest to the machine as well as the IV line taped to the skin of his inner elbow.

It had only been around nine hours since the attack, but Natalie was confident that he would wake up soon. Anna didn’t understand how.

She had seen firsthand just how much blood he had lost and knew how badly he had been hurt.

It would be a long time before the image of him lying on that floor in his own blood left her.

It would probably be at the forefront of her nightmares, right alongside the lifeless body of her mother.

Anna sighed, leaning forward to clasp Mitch’s hand in her own.

“What the hell is going on, Mitch? This was supposed to be a fresh start for me away from…everything. Instead, everything has turned to shit.”

She paused, her thoughts whirling in a storm that was quickly becoming unstoppable.

“Should I leave? I’ve never been on my own, but I’m sure I could figure it out. Where would I even go? I’m terrified I’ll wake up one day and be back at Gray Wing, although maybe, it wouldn’t be so bad now that she’s dead.”

Anna raised her free hand to her chest as if she could somehow force her pounding heart into a calmer rhythm.

She stared down at Mitch’s hand, trying to focus on the pale skin, the light dusting of hair that brushed across the back of his hand, and the rough callouses on his knuckles, probably from training or sparring.

She wasn’t even aware of how tightly she was squeezing his fingers until her own hand began to tremble.

“You were my first friend, and now look. You lying here like this, it’s my fault. Disaster follows me around. I mean, look at everything that’s happened since I’ve been here.”

Anna felt the next words bubbling up like lava from a volcano. She tried to shove it back down, but it spewed out of her mouth in a fury.

“I can’t be his mate, Mitch! I just can’t!” She let go of his hand and stood, her hands twisting together in agitation.

She started pacing in short, sharp movements.

“I barely know anything about being a wolf or part of a pack, let alone being someone’s mate, especially an ~alpha’s~ mate. After everything that’s happened, how could I possibly have a normal relationship? I can’t even have friends—look at what happened to you.”

Anna chuckled bitterly as she looked down at Mitch, who still hadn’t moved.

“If I am actually Zach’s mate, if he isn’t wrong, then this really is my fault, you know. I should have known sooner, should have been able to stop him. I mean, after what happened at the lake, I should have known something, right?”

She paused both her rant and her pacing, staring down at Mitch, her breath coming in deep gasps.

“God, I’m sorry. Look at me. I’m at your sickbed and having a huge self-pity party, while you have healing holes in your gut. What the hell am I doing?”

Anna grabbed Mitch’s hand again, squeezing his fingers in a silent apology.

As she began to release his fingers to continue pacing, his fingers tightened around her own.

She froze, her eyes darting to his face, but his eyes were still closed and his fingers didn’t move again.

Anna waited, a brittle feeling of hope in her chest, but his fingers didn’t even twitch again.

After a moment—just as her shoulders started to slump in defeat—she heard a husky whisper. “Not your fault.”

It was so quiet that Anna almost thought she had imagined it, but as she watched, Mitch cracked one eye open and gazed at her.

“I knew. I knew better than to be alone with you.”

Anna stared down at him, shock coursing through her as she wondered if she could have possibly misheard him.

“You…knew?”

Mitch nodded, the movement immediately making him groan in pain.

“Oh! I’ll get Natalie; wait here! Don’t move!”

She quickly rushed toward the closed door of the healer’s office, Mitch’s weak chuckle following her as he murmured, “Promise, I won’t go anywhere.”

Natalie was bent over some paperwork at her desk when Anna burst through the door, but she was up and moving before Anna could even say a word.

The two women hurried back to Mitch’s bedside, the healer efficiently taking all his vitals before holding a hand out over his chest, a warm glow emitting from her palm.

“What are you doing?” Anna asked curiously, her attention focused on the lines around Mitch’s eyes, watching as they eased—as if his pain was dissipating as Natalie’s hand hovered over his body.

Natalie glanced across at Anna, giving her a soft smile before focusing back on what she was doing.

“Being a healer is not a choice in the shifter community,” she explained softly, “it’s something that you’re born with, a gift. A typical pack member can only give energy to the pack bond, but a healer can take that energy and transform it into healing energy and…push it, for lack of better words, into the individual who needs it.

“Pack members are always subconsciously providing energy to the pack bond, but when required, Zach can draw in even more. He can ‘funnel’ this excess energy to me, and I can use it to heal those in need if I’ve reached the limits of my own abilities.

“I’ve trained as a medic as well because we used to have quite a few humans in our pack, and they don’t always respond to our ways of healing. It’s also good for triage in emergencies.”

“That’s amazing.” Anna stared intently at the healer’s hand, even though there was nothing to see other than a subtle golden glow.

She tentatively stretched out her hand near Natalie’s but quickly yanked it back in shock at the intense heat she could feel pouring out of the other woman’s palm, causing Natalie to laugh.

“It doesn’t hurt, only heals,” she commented just as Mitch coughed, his eyes blinking open.

“Doesn’t exactly feel that way from my end, Nat,” he remarked.

“Maybe that’ll teach you a lesson about tangling with Zach.” Natalie pulled her hand back, giving Mitch a teasing smile.

“You’re going to live, anyway. You’ll need to rest for the next week, and only light duties for at least three weeks—and I mean that, Mitch; I’ll be checking with Deirdre. But you’ll be back to your usual mischievous self in no time.”

“Good, because clearly, I have some training to do,” Mitch remarked, a wry smile turning up one corner of his lips as he glanced from Natalie to Anna.

Anna smiled in response, her body filled with relief as she watched Mitch’s cheeks flush with color.

It was amazing what the healer could do, and Anna knew she would always be grateful to Natalie for saving her friend’s life.

“Just so long as you don’t plan to take Zach on again.”

There was an edge of warning in Natalie’s words as she bent over Mitch’s arm to gently remove his IV line.

“I’m not that dumb, but I do plan on training until I believe I actually stand a fighting chance of keeping my guts in my body.”

He flinched as she yanked the tape off his arm, probably taking a few hairs along with it.

“Intestines staying inside is always a bonus during a fight,” Natalie remarked dryly as she threw everything away and disconnected Mitch from the monitor.

“I want you to stay overnight, just because of the amount of blood you lost—I don’t want to hear it.” She held a hand up, palm out, when he opened his mouth to protest.

Mitch groaned and she rolled her eyes before turning to Anna.

“And you, you need to go back to your quarters and rest. You look like hell.”

“I’d like to stay here with Mitch—”

“Absolutely not. Your guilt, as ridiculous as it is, has no place here. It doesn’t help Mitch heal, and it doesn’t help you.”

Natalie went around the bed to put a comforting arm around Anna’s shoulders, giving her a warm smile to take the harshness of her words away.

“Anna, you’ve had a hell of a day, a real roller coaster, and hon, you’ve still got a lot to deal with, and none of it involves Mitch.”

It was a pointed reminder about Zach that told Anna that the healer knew exactly what was going on, and Anna hated it.

Had everyone known but her? Natalie had a point, though.

Anna knew she couldn’t bury her head in the sand forever, and maybe retreating to her quarters would let her get the rest she needed to come up with a plan for her next move…whatever that was going to be.

Before she could say anything, Natalie planted a gentle hand on the small of her back and pushed her toward the exit.

“All right, all right, I’m going,” Anna grumbled good-naturedly, giving Natalie a small smile. “I’ll come and see you tomorrow, okay, Mitch?”

He gave a thumbs-up in answer, his eyelids already growing heavy.

Anna guessed he would be asleep by the time the door shut behind her.

She slipped out and began the walk back to her quarters, which was, thankfully, quick and uninterrupted.

The few people that Anna passed smiled at her in greeting but must have sensed that she didn’t want to be disturbed because no one tried to start a conversation.

She was grateful for it, knowing her head was not in a good space for small talk.

There was also an annoying voice at the back of her mind wondering if everyone knew what had happened, and if they did, how many people blamed her.

The whole way, her breath was tight in her chest. She was nervous that Zach would suddenly appear, even though she knew that he was outside of the den, dealing with the human who had been a part of the attack.

He had taken her to Mitch as she had asked, received healing from Natalie for the wound on his leg, and then left the infirmary without another look at Anna.

The mental door that he had shut earlier was still firmly closed.

As Anna walked toward her room, she realized that being around Mitch and Natalie had helped distract her from the painful ache in her chest.

The desire to hunt down Zach and demand that he take down whatever barrier he had put up was becoming extremely hard to ignore, but she knew that if she did that, then she would be admitting something to him.

What Anna didn’t understand was if Zach believed that they were mates, if he thought they were supposed to be together and he had taken her out into the forest to convince her of that, then why had he put that mental barrier between them in the first place?

Did he know it was hurting her? Was it hurting him too?

All the questions were starting to hurt Anna’s head, and when she finally entered her room and shut the door, she slumped against the wood, feeling the last dregs of energy leave her.

This whole day had been a complete disaster, and she was so lost about what to do now.

What she did know was that she couldn’t keep going around feeling sorry for herself and allowing things to keep happening to her.

Anna didn’t know when it had happened, but it was like she wasn’t an active participant in her own life anymore.

Now, she was a part of a pack where everyone would be talking about the shifter with no wolf who had turned the alpha feral.

Shoving herself away from the door, Anna rubbed a fist over her chest, trying to ease the knotted tension she felt there.

Her mind kept instinctively reaching out to Zach, missing the connection that she hadn’t even realized was there till a few hours ago.

This whole situation was his fault!

When she’d thought she had finally figured out her new life and who she was away from her parents, he had made everything so complicated.

If this whole mate business had never happened—and she still didn’t believe it was true—then Mitch would have never been hurt.

Anna quickly got herself ready for bed, but as she slid under the covers, she knew that as tired as she was, sleep was a long way off.

It felt like her mind was going a mile a minute, whirling with chaos and uncertainty.

All she knew for certain was that she wasn’t equipped to be an alpha’s mate, to help lead a shifter pack, because she was barely a shifter herself.

She had never truly been a part of a shifter community and didn’t understand what it meant to be in one, let alone help lead one.

If Zach truly believed they were mates, then Anna would have no choice but to leave Silver River.