Damon's POV

Guilt.

That’s all I felt as I held Anya in my arms. I’ve always known my soft spot for Clarissa would put me in trouble one day. She’s always been my weakness.

I’ve never been able to tell her no. Since the first day she came into our lives, I’ve always tried to do everything she wanted.

A part of me has always wanted to protect her. To make her happy. To make her smile. To make her feel at home. That never changed. I’m still that way when it came to her. My weakness for her has only increased with time.

She knows by now how to bring me to my knees. Even though we were close, I’ve always kept her at a distance from me. I’ve never done things that I knew would cross the line between us.

Usually, Clarissa wouldn’t ask for more, but last night was the first time she asked for something I wasn’t sure I could give her. I clenched my jaw at the reminder. Last night was one of the hardest nights of my existence.

Seeing Clarissa dance with Ares almost made me lose my mind. I was ready to rip his head from his body. But then I saw the worry in her eyes, and I knew I couldn’t ruin her night because of my selfish reasons.

Still, I knew Ares wasn’t good enough for her. I knew I would eventually have to talk her out of it. This need to protect her was expected between a brother and sister. Just thinking about it made me sick. I couldn’t see her as my sister, no matter how hard I tried.

When my parents brought her home and thought of adopting her after our Aunt and uncle passed away, since that first day, I knew that I was screwed.

I knew it would be hard to see her as my sibling. I fought against those feelings for a long time, and when Anya came into my life, it became easier. But now, it was hard again. And each day, it became more difficult.

Last night I made a mess of my room just because I saw her dancing with Ares. That just wasn’t something a brother was supposed to do. If I reacted like this just because she danced with someone,

what would happen if she decided to date? What would I do then? How would I be able to control myself?

She was in my arms for most of the night. The only time I wasn’t holding her was when I removed all the broken glass and chairs from the floor and placed them in the bathroom. If I hadn’t, Atticus would have known something was wrong this morning when he had walked in.

We were so close to getting caught. Clarissa kept saying we didn’t do anything wrong, but I knew how wrong it was even if she couldn’t see it. I knew I couldn’t let that happen again, especially after what happened this morning.

I’ve always had inappropriate thoughts about Clarissa, things that I’ve dreamt about. But I’ve never acted on any of it. I’ve always tried to push those thoughts away; I knew how wrong it was.

She expected me to protect her, to keep her safe, to be there for her, but yet I had all these dirty thoughts in my head. It made me feel sick. What kind of a man was I?

She came to me because of nightmares and I should have held her close only to comfort her, yet my body had a mind of its own. It wanted things I could never give to it. I inwardly groaned as I remembered what happened.

I’d never been more hard in my life. Just by having her on top of me. I was scared that she would think the worst thoughts about me after feeling it beneath her.

But Clarissa surprised me by acting the total opposite. It terrified me. I never expected her to react that way. I knew if she ever encouraged me, I wouldn’t know how to hold back.

I thought telling her it couldn’t happen again was the right thing to do, but she surprised me by storming out of the room. Not once did she care that someone would see her exit my room. Her behavior had dramatically changed recently, and I didn’t know how to keep up with it.

“You’re unusually quiet,” Anya whispers. “Is something bothering you?” Anya has been extremely good to me these past few days. She didn’t deserve my betrayal, even if it was just in my thoughts. I had to find a way to control myself. I couldn’t continue behaving this way because of Clarissa.

“Damon?” I sigh and hug her tightly, “I’m just happy to have you next to me.” She smiles and kisses my cheek, “Dante is angry I chose to spend today with you.”

“Can you blame him?” I ask her. “I would have been angry also if someone had taken you away from me.” She grins, but that smile is eventually wiped from her face. “Was Autumn invited to this party?” She asks me. “Isn’t that the car Atticus gave to her recently?”

I follow her gaze, and I’m surprised when I see Autumn and Griffin exit the car.

“It doesn’t look like they’re coming to this party.” I informed her. “It looks like they’re going to Ares’s beach house.”

Why would Atticus let Autumn attend his party? It was very unlike him to let her go to a party like this without him, especially after what happened with Carter.

If this were his brother’s party, he would likely also be there. Maybe he sent them to look for Clarissa.

After all, he still didn’t know she was in my room the entire time. The car’s back door opens, and I freeze at who I see next.

Clarissa.

She has a black bikini with a cover-up on the lower half of her body, but she still showed more skin than I was comfortable with. Her breasts were exposed for fuck’s sake.

Why was she here?

At Ares’s party after everything we’ve spoken about last night. She knew how I felt about him. Was this because of this morning? Was she still angry with me? Was she doing this to get back at me for telling her that she always threw a tantrum when I had a date with Anya? Or was she doing this because I told her she couldn’t stay in the same bed with me again after last night?

I narrowed my eyes when I saw Ares walk out of the house to greet her. “Since when do they attend Ares’s parties?” Anya asks me. “Don’t they care about the rivalry between you guys and Carter?”

My body stiffens. Clarissa smiles and I stop breathing for a second.

Since when does she smile at other men the way she smiles when she’s with me?

I watch as Ares pulls her into his arms and lifts her into the air like she weighs nothing.

Anger explodes in my chest.

“What the fuck?” I growl.