39 - Matthew

Heya, lovelies! I apologize for the really late update. I wish I can come up with a better excuse like 'I just had a hectic past few weeks.' Truth is time stood still for a while. At least for me. I haven't been okay in the last few weeks.

I tried really hard not to think about it but every time I take a peek outside, I'm a little overwhelmed that the world hasn't stopped even when I felt like it. I tell my sister that I'm just sad but I know it's a different kind of sad.

The kind of sad that wants me lying on the couch all day. The kind that makes me feel tired despite the fact that I haven't done anything. The kind that makes me feel like I don't want to get out of bed every single morning.

I'm aware that I'm in another one of my lows. In fact, this is one of the lowest lows. Usually, I can shake it off after a few days. This time though, it's different. I tell myself to keep fighting every day but I'm just... tired. I'm not giving up but I'm just a little tired.

I think I just don't want to fight the current anymore. I know I'm drowning but the bright sde is I'm still breathing. It doesn't make sense, I know. Lol. Okay, byeee.

Anyways, read on for the new chapter!

Miles fluttered his eyes close as he drifted to sleep. Even then, Matthew kept on reading Miles' bedtime story. He needed to keep his mind off things—just one thing, really.

Christian had a dopey smile while holding his phone to Matthew's face. He was showing him slide after slide of pictures. Pretty sure there were several angles of what looks like two wine glasses and a sunset.

Matthew didn't have the heart to tell his brother that they were horrible shots. He closes the book and gazes at the clock. He tried not to think about it, but the thought slipped in.

When is Jessica coming home?

Should she be home by now?

Why does the thought of her not coming home bother him so much?

He shakes his head.

Nope. He's not going down that spiral of a road again.

"Oh, and Matty, look at this seashell. Kylie found it when we went for an evening stroll for the first time," Christian says quietly.

Matthew gave his phone a quick glance and squinted at the sight of a blurry seashell. "Nice," he said, which is the same response he had on several pictures before the seashell.

He had a feeling Christian still had a thousand pictures to show him, so he closed the book and slid it back on the shelves. "How about a cup of coffee?"

Christian smiled and arched an eyebrow. "Are you planning to stay up all night?"

He looked away. "What do you mean?"

"You've had about five cups of coffee." Christian pointed out.

Matthew decided to play dumb. "I did? I didn't notice."

He walked over to Miles' bed and leaned in to kiss his forehead. He felt his brother's eyes on him, but he didn't dare meet his gaze. He quietly stepped out of Miles' bedroom, knowing Christian would follow behind.

His brother took a minute to kiss their nephew good night and close the door carefully behind him. By the time he made it out to the hallway, Matthew was climbing down the stairs.

"Hey, Matty," Christian took two steps at a time to keep up, "what are we thinking? Really, what are we thinking?"

Matthew quickly made himself a cup of coffee. "Nothing."

"Come on, you've been acting strange."

"I'm not."

God, why is he a terrible liar?

Christian used his fingers to count. "One: you read the same paragraphs back there. I know Miles would've said something, but he's a sweet boy. Two: you paced while you read the book. Three: you kept looking at the clock. Four: you've had enough coffee to stay up for a week."

He swallowed.

He couldn't believe he did all that and didn't even notice.

"Matty, what's going on?" Christian walked around the counter and threw an arm over his neck,

Matthew flinched at the weight of his brother's arm.

He noticed. "You're also very jumpy. Come on, Matty. I'm starting to worry."

"It's nothing."

"Is it? It doesn't seem like it is," Christian commented with furrowed eyebrows. "Or do I have to mention that you're still a terrible liar?"

"It's just..." Matthew thought for a moment but heard a car pulling up the driveway instead. "Jessica," he blurted.

"What?" Christian blurted back.

Matthew gripped his mug and rushed to the front door.

"Wait, Matty. What about Jessica?"

He was at the front door when he found himself pausing for a moment. Footsteps were coming from outside. As they neared the door, he realized there were two voices—female voices.

"Hey, what's the rush? I never saw you run that fast since we were kids."

The door opened, Jessica and another woman came into view.

Jessica yelped. "Oh, my freaking God. You scared the shit out of me." Her hand flew to her chest. "Why are you guys lurking behind doors like that?"

Christian clasped his shoulder. "I think Matthew thought you were burglars?" It would've been a great excuse if he didn't sound so unsure.

Her eyes bounced between him and his brother, then down his mug. "Ookayy, and you're going to beat the burglars with, um, a mug?"

"Mm-hmm. Right, Matty?"

Jessica turned to him. She leaned against the door frame with her head tilted slightly to one side.

He probably looked strange.

It wasn't a staring contest, but it felt like he stared at her for a really long time because Christian subtly jabbed his elbow.

He'd blame it on her beautiful red-matte smile and bright green eyes. She wore a pair of five-inch heels as red as her smile. Her dark jeans and V-neck buttoned shirt serpentined with every curving line of her body.

Matthew blinked. "I think so."

Jessica giggled softly. "Are Parkinsons always this weird?"

Christian chuckled. "You'll need to marry one to find out. And you better hurry because we're running out of stock." He patted Matthew's shoulder and wagged his eyebrows at her.

Craappp.

Matthew felt his ears burn. He didn't feel as embarrassed because Jessica's cheeks turned pink, too.

Unlike him though, she recovered flawlessly with a lighthearted laugh. "You ought to be careful whom you pimped your brother." She turned to her friend whom he hadn't noticed until then.

"You guys have met Harper before, right?" She gestured to her friend.

She wore almost the same ensemble as Jessica—mostly laid back and a pinch formal.

"Would you like to have some coffee?" Out of manners, Matthew hears himself say.

She shyly tucks a strand of blond hair behind her ear and shakes her head. "Thank you, but I really should get going."

Jessica's shoulders dropped. "Do you really need to go? Is there a husband you're not telling me about?"

"Nope. Just a boss I'm meeting first thing tomorrow."

Jessica's nose crinkled. "Say no more."

She waved her goodbye and waited until her car was no longer in sight. Then, they stepped aside to let her in.

"I'm starving," she murmurs to herself.

They trailed behind her.

"Matty made spaghetti and meatballs," Christian offered.

She looked over her shoulder with a huge smile. "Really?"

"Yep. He also made peach cobbler for dessert."

Her eyes sparkled and she let out a delighted squeal.

Matthew hid a smile.

This adorable woman and her ginormous appetite.

She made her way to the kitchen. She moved around with a dancing skip.

He would've offered to preheat her dinner, but she was so happy doing it herself.

Moments later, she had a plateful of spaghetti and meatballs on the counter and two slices of peach cobbler. "So, how was your day?"

"It was okay. Uneventful. And yours?" He walked inside the kitchen and sat across from her.

"The opposite." She looked like she was about to tell him an hour-long story about her day. Strangely, it's all he ever wants right now. "There was this bridesmaid who got really drunk and turns out, she's in love with the bride."

"No way." His mouth hangs open.

She shoved a mouthful of spaghetti. "I know, right? That's exactly how everybody reacted."

It's so impressive how she was able to tell the detailed story while eating two slices of peach cobbler the whole time.

What's even more impressive is how he completely forgot about his Christian who canceled date night with his girlfriend to keep him company. Never mind that he was standing there looking a little hurt that he was out of their little bubble.

Jessica throws her head back and lets out a loud and beautiful laugh. She then continues to tell the story. Her hand covered his as if to keep him focused. Like it would take that much to get his attention.

Matthew felt a fluttery sensation in his gut. It took him a while to realize that they were butterflies.

In the corner of his eye, he saw a meaningful look on his brother's face. He simply sashayed his way out of the kitchen.

Jessica didn't notice.

Matthew was just... enthralled.