||Seventeen||

I had ten billion missed calls from Jake.

Dread filled up in my chest as I stared at his name on my screen. I've avoided him long enough, I thought, so I left him a text.

"Come over, it's about time," I sent.

"I'll be there in five," he replied.

I sighed, picking up the dog and placing him on my lap as I tried to clear my head. He struggled, but after a few ear scratches, he finally settled down and relaxed.

I had already cleaned up the apartment and walked the dog that morning. We started off right near the apartment, but I was so caught up in my thoughts (what I would tell Jake, how I'd tell him, when I'd tell him, etc) that I wandered even further than usual. The dog didn't complain, but my legs did, and I had to take a break at the café for half an hour until I found the will to go home.

Rob still wouldn't look me in the eye, and I didn't feel like facing him so soon. I didn't know if he tried to re-approach Adrianna, but his distance gave me the hint that even he did gather the courage, it didn't go so well.

I hadn't heard much from Devin, just some occasional updates via text. Ian and I hadn't spoken since the day I left their apartment, but I wasn't too concerned.

Whereas Tom kept calling and texting me about going to this and that party, and whether I was still interested in hanging out with him and Jesse. I was, but my guilt got the better of me and I pushed everything away for Jake. Only momentarily, though.

The door bell buzzed and I moved the dog to his cushion at the corner of the apartment before pulling the door open.

"Hi," I said, but my eyes wouldn't meet Jake's, just an invisible point beside them.

"Hey." His voice was clipped despite the eagerness that shone through all those missed calls and un-read texts.

"Come in," I said, finally looking him in the eye.

I felt nothing.

And I hated myself for it.

"We don't have to do this now," he muttered. "If you don't want to-"

"No," I said. "I need to get this off my chest."

He nodded stiffly. My eyes wandered past his face and I mentally cursed myself. He wore a loose fitting t-shirt under a comfy looking leather jacket, and semi-tight back jeans that hung just an inch under the hem of his boxer shorts.

I swallowed hard. He was doing this on purpose.

We walked over to the couch, where he shrugged off his leather jacket, exposing his bare muscular arms.

This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.

I tapped my leg impatiently as I tried to figure out how to begin.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "I'm sorry."

He just stared at me, like he was expecting me to say something else.

"For hurting you," I finished.

"It did hurt," he said, finally speaking, which sent a wave of relief through my body. "Have you thought about what I said?"

"You sound like a therapist." I tried to joke, but it just sound a lot more awkward than I intended.

"Well, considering my major I'll take that as a complement," he said. "I'm sorry too."

I frowned. "Huh?"

"I'm sorry too," he repeated. "I let you in when I knew you weren't interested."

I stared at him blankly and he took the hint to go on.

"You weren't looking for a relationship, and we both made that clear. I think I just got greedy."

"You weren't being greedy, you just went after what you wanted. Not everyone can say the same."

He smiled at me. "Didn't get me anywhere."

I edged closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder and he instantly stiffened, his eyes fluttering shut.

"Jake?" I whispered.

"It hurts."

My heart skipped a beat at the trace of yearning in his voice and I sucked in a deep breath. "Jake-"

Eyes still closed, he suddenly turned his head towards me and leaned closer to me until his lips pushed tightly against my own.

My eyes fell shut as his hand trailed up to my chest and twisted around to the back of my neck as he gently moved his lips along with mine.

I pushed him away, my eyes growing wide.

He winced, pushing himself away from me.

I shook my head before I stared at my hands. "I'm sorry I can't like you the way you want me to."

"It's nothing you can force yourself into."

I nodded. "I know. You deserve someone better."

"Nate, I don't want some-"

"Don't say it," I said quickly, my eyes screwing shut. "Please."

I couldn't help but think that's exactly how I used to be just weeks ago. Things changed. Really quickly.

"That's how I feel," he murmured.

I opened my eyes to look at him and said,"It won't change anything."

He lifted a shoulder, then let it drop. "I tried."

"Jake, you're a great friend. I don't want to lose you, but I understand if you don't want to see me."

He glanced away. "Are you sure?"

My heart dropped and I swallowed hard. "Y-yes."

"You think you can get rid of me that easily?" He smiled sadly. "I'll need time to get over this but I still want us to be friends. I'll still tutor you if you want."

My lips tugged in a smile and I nodded. "That sounds good."

"Good," he echoed.

"Do you want to stay? We could play video games."

"Not until we get some work done."

"Work?"

"As long as the money's still coming in, I'm your tutor. We've missed a lot of lessons."

I groaned. "But you didn't get any of the books."

"Which is good that I always keep an electronic version on my phone. I'll just have to transfer these onto your computer, c'mon," he said, standing up.

"B-but you said you needed time!" I sputtered.

He smiled. "I'll just pretend we're still together."

I scoffed. "If you kiss me again-"

"I won't," he said, but his smile widened just a little.

"Jake," I warned.

"Nate," he imitated me. "Get your butt on that chair."

I sighed in defeat before following his not so pleasant orders. "You win."

He smiled smugly while I tried not to jump off the building.

~

"Hey, it's good to see you again, Nate," Jesse said, smiling as I took a seat in front of him.

I smiled back. "Likewise."

"Apparently, Nate's been dying to get to know you. Do you have a crush on my boyfriend?" Tom teased.

I rolled my eyes. "Ha. Ha."

Jesse chuckled lightly, picking up the menu in front of him but he held it down so I could still see his face.

His eyes were dark, as was his hair, both looking almost black in color. His hair fell in heavy waves, hanging just a few inches over his shoulders. It was one of those rare moments where he wore kohl on his waterline, which seemed to bring out the paleness of his skin.

His eyes suddenly glanced up, and his eyebrows perched when he noticed me staring.

I stared back, smirking.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing."

He stared at me for a few more seconds, before he relaxed and glanced back at his menu. I did the same.

"What was that about?" Tom whispered without Jesse noticing since he was sitting directly next to me.

I shrugged, "Your boyfriend's hot."

"I know," he smiled. "You should see him preform."

"Oh yeah?" I raised my voice, glancing at Jesse.

He frowned.

Tom said, "I was telling Nate about your performances. When's your next gig at the café?"

"In a week. You should come," he said. "Maybe bring your friends along too, we need more fans."

Tom smiled at that while I rolled my eyes.

"I don't have a lot of friends. What music do you play anyway?" I asked. The first time I saw Jesse and his band play at the café, they were covering some acoustic version of a song I wasn't familiar with.

"Isn't it obvious?" Tom asked. "Look at his sleeve."

My eyes dropped to the arm Tom was pointing at, and I could barely make out a portion of tattoos hiding beneath Jesse's sweater sleeve. I spotted the edge of an electric guitar and one letter of some band's initials.

"Rock," I guessed. "Isn't that stereotyping?"

Jesse shrugged his shoulders, "I don't mind."

I scoffed, glancing at my menu just in time as the waiter stopped by our table.

We ordered our own separate meals, waited impatiently for a few minutes, before we dug in. No one spoke as we ate, and I for one shoveled everything on my plate down my throat.

"This is so good," I moaned.

That's when I noticed both Tom and Jesse had healthier looking food on their plates in contrast to my beef and bacon burger. With extra cheese, and fries on the side.

"Why are you eating that?" I asked.

Both of them glanced down at their plates at the same time.

"What?" Jesse asked.

I pointed at his plate, "It's green."

"I know, I ordered it," he deadpanned.

I glanced back down at my own food.

Tom laughed. "We're vegetarian."

"Oh," I frowned. "I've never met a vegetarian couple."

"Is that an insult?" Jesse raised his eyebrows before picking up a piece of celery.

"No, it's just weird."

"You're weird."

I glanced at Tom. "Your boyfriend is mean."

Tom laughed again. "You can say that again."

Jesse's head shot up. "I'm never mean to you, aren't you supposed to defend me?"

Tom shrugged. "You're not mean to me, but you're kind of mean to other people."

A tick formed at Jesse's jaw and I watched amusingly as the two bickered back and forth.

"Like who?" Jess asked.

"Nate, your friends-"

"They're my friends, I'm allowed to be mean to them."

"So you're allowed to be mean to me?"

Jesse clenched his jaw, and said between gritted teeth, "You're my boyfriend, it's different."

Tom narrowed his eyes and was about to speak when I interrupted them.

"Okay, stop, you sound like those parents on TV," I pretended to plug fingers in my ears.

"Sorry," Tom apologized, a sheepish smile forming on his lips.

Jesse stared at his food for a while before sighing. "What he said."

"Do you play any instruments?" I asked Jesse after a long and awkward silence.

"I'm in a band."

"Yeah, but don't you just sing?"

"Anything electric," Tom answered for him, "you name it and he knows how to play. It's like some kind of gift."

"Cool," I said.

"Do you play any instruments?" Jesse redirected the question.

Tom glanced at me and frowned. "Yeah, I don't think you ever mentioned any instruments."

"I used to play the piano but I haven't in years so I'm pretty sure I suck now," I said, glancing away from their curious looks.

"What happened?" Jesse asked.

I scowled. "I stopped playing."

"Why?"

"I just did! Nosy motherfu-"

"Woah," Tom's eyebrows shot up. "Nate, calm down."

Looking away, I took in a few deep breaths before releasing them slowly.

"Sorry," I said, when all I wanted to do was get up and run for the door, but I felt like I've been doing that a lot and it only made things harder.

They didn't say anything. Jesse stared at me like I miraculously grew a second head, while all Tom's eyes projected was worry and pity.

"Stop staring," I said, picking up some fries from my plate and dipping them in my vanilla milkshake.

Tom's eyes caught onto my actions and his worried expression turned to disgust. "What are you doing?"

Jesse's shoulders were shaking silently as he tried to suppress a smile on his face.

"What?" I asked, glancing down at the soaked fries in my hand. "Oh."

I smiled and put the fries in my mouth, "Mmm. You should try this."

I dipped more of my fries in my milkshake and offered them to Tom.

His nose scrunched up as his eyes widened, shrinking away from me until he was pressed up against the window. "No way! That's disgusting."

I laughed, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. "Jesse?"

Jesse smiled at me as his laughter eased into soft chuckling. "Don't mind if I do."

He took the fry from my hand as Tom stared at us like we were committing the worst of crimes. "Stop! Jesse, don't eat that!"

"Why not?"

"Just don't eat it!"

"Or what?" Jesse moved the fry closer towards his mouth, which he had open slightly.

"Or-or I won't let you kiss me!" Tom replied ludicrously.

Jesse froze, but his grin only widened farther. "Are you sure you can do that?"

"What?" Tom's face flushed as he reeled back.

Jesse shrugged, "You can't resist me."

Tom's eyebrows met as his face flushed further and his hands tightened into fists. "I so can!"

I couldn't stop laughing, my hand over my mouth as the two argued back and forth.

Eventually, Jesse grew bored and stuffed the fry in his mouth.

Tom went rigid. "Why?"

Jesse and I chocked on the food in our mouth as we laughed at Tom's broken hearted expression.

"Oh, God," I wheezed, slamming my hand against my chest as I tried to ease the pain.

"You're so mean!" Tom exclaimed.

I wiped at the pretend tears in my eyes, "That was hilarious. Why didn't I think of this before?"

"You're evil. Both of you!"

"I'm still going to kiss you tonight," Jesse said after his shoulders stopped shaking.

Tom shook his head vigorously, "No way."

"I give it two tries," I said.

Jesse smirked, leaning closer to Tom, "I think it'll only take one."

Tom's face went red for the millionth time, and I grinned. "Look, he's not denying it."

"Shut up, Nate," he muttered.

Then we paid the bill and shrugged our jackets on, leaving the restaurant to stand outside in the cold for a wile.

"Thanks for coming, Nate," Tom said.

I shrugged. "It was fun. I liked getting to know you, Jesse."

"Like wise," he said before smirking, tossing an arm over Tom's shoulders, who muttered something silently under his breath.

"I should get going," I said. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Nate," Tom said with a little smile.

"'Night," Jesse drew Tom closer to him.

I waved, then mouthed 'kiss' to Jesse when Tom wasn't looking.

He smirked again, and pulled Tom even closer to him, then drew him up by the collar of his shirt before kissing him smack on the lips.

Tom's face flushed but he didn't seem to resist the kiss the second time around.

Hii!

Sorry for the late update. Again. I think I should come up with a better strategy now that school's basically taking over my life. Fun.

Question: do you play any instruments? If so, what do you play? And if you don't then which instrument(s) would you like to learn?

I tried learning the guitar and piano. Let's just say I suck.

Big time.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Byyye :)