||Twenty-two||

My mother tried talking to me but I shook her off, batting away her advances to touch my shoulder.

"Why?" I asked.

"Nate-"

"You can't."

"You're acting like a child!"

"You can't have a baby!" I yelled.

"We thought you were too old to be jealous," my father spoke.

My face contorted in anger and disgust. "I'm not jealous."

"Then explain why you're so angry," my father said placidly, further advancing my frustration and need to break something.

I bit my tongue but to no avail, I still had to say it.

"Because I don't want you to treat them like you treated me," I blurted out.

My parents froze.

"You don't mean that," my mother said, pain laced with every word she spoke.

I almost snorted. "You treated me like I was someone else's child. Who puts work before family?"

"That was a mistake," my father said.

"How do you know it won't happen again?"

"We just do. We're adults. We've experienced more than you have, son."

"I had to learn everything all over again. By myself. When I should have had help. I learned how to cook, how to clean, how to earn money all on my own. With nobody's support," I said.

I saw my father clench his jaw. "With whose money to start you off?"

My confidence faltered.

"Nate-" my mother started, but I cut her off.

"Is it a boy?"

"We don't know yet."

Even during the argument I couldn't help but think of how much I've always wanted a brother or a sister. Growing up as the only child was tough. I didn't have cousins to hang out with, or at least my parents' company. I had play dates with stuck up kids my mother set me up with, her friends who also loved neglecting their children.

And I had Devin.

Although naturally, there were times when even Devin wasn't there. Not because he had a choice like my parents did, but because he lived a little farther from where I did. Because when we had holidays he spent them with his family. Little did he know he was my only family. I spent that time alone.

"Nate, you have to trust us on this."

"How? You abandoned me."

"We would never do that again. We promise you that was just a big mistake on our part."

I shook my head. "I need to think."

My father nodded in understanding. "Take all the time you need. Just give us a chance, that's all that matters."

I didn't know whether I could believe them or not. Could they be so heartless that they would lie?

I stood up and walked over to the door, but not before saying,"I'm gay."

My mother raised her eyebrows. "We know."

I swallowed.

"We don't care who you like or who you don't like."

"But the piano..." I trailed off, confused.

"Was another flaw on our side that we deeply regret," my father said.

I felt a flood of relief wash over me. "So if the baby is gay too..."

My mother smiled and placed a gentle hand on her stomach. "It won't change a thing."

Somehow I managed to smile. At least the baby would have a better life than I did.

Besides, I thought as I closed the dining room door behind me, if they screw up again at least I'll be there for the kid.

I strolled out of the house and towards the car, where I found Ian leaning against the passenger door.

"Everything okay?" he asked.

I unlocked the car and we both slid in. "Yeah. My mom's pregnant ."

"So you're going to be a big brother," he said. "How does it feel?"

I was surprised he wasn't surprised. Was it that normal? Was I the only one who found it completely insane?

"Weird," I said truthfully.

He chuckled. "That's how I felt as well."

I glanced at him curiously. For some reason I never thought to ask if Ian had any siblings.

"How many siblings do you have?"

"Three younger sisters."

"Do you all look alike?" I asked, wondering if my soon to be brother or sister would look anything like me.

"The three of them look almost identical. But other than our dark hair, it's hard for anyone to guess that we're related. Do you think the baby's a boy?"

"I don't know. I've always wanted a brother as a kid, but I don't mind now that it's a possibility I could have either."

"I know what you mean," he said. "So, are you free for the rest of the day?"

"Why?" I asked skeptically.

"I thought maybe we could squeeze in a lesson."

"Oh, right," I said. "This will take some getting used to."

Ian chuckled. "I'm that different from Jake?"

I almost choked. "You're kidding."

"What?" he asked. "We both wear leather jackets. We're both smarter that you-"

I scoffed, but he went on like I hadn't made a sound.

"We're both older than you. We're both your friends. We both-"

"Okay, okay."

"You believe me now?

"No. I just wanted to shut you up. It worked."

He pushed my shoulder playfully.

"Hey, I'm driving!"

"Whatever."

"Oh, so now you're suicidal too?"

"Maybe I am, so what?"

I shook my head. "Then you'd be living up to your appearance."

"What does that mean?"

I shrugged.

"Asshole," he muttered.

"You're still describing yourself?"

He pushed at my shoulder again, but with greater force than before.

"Just 'cause you want to die doesn't mean I do!"

"I'm sorry, Nate."

I blinked at the sincerity in his voice. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he restated.

"I heard you the first time," I mumbled, pulling up at the front of the apartment building's underground parking space.

I parked the car and turned to Ian, clearing my throat nervously. "So, uh, are you really suicidal or was that...?"

He raised his eyebrows before pushing his sleeves up his arms. "See? No scars. I'm fine."

I rolled my eyes. "There are other ways-"

He laughed. "Trust me, I'm fine. Plus, do you think Dev would date someone suicidal?"

I shrugged. "He would, to help them or something corny like that."

Ian shook his head. "Would you?"

"Date someone who's depressed?"

Ian nodded.

"I don't know. I guess you like who you like."

His eyes sparkled with newfound interest. "So you date for personality?"

I fidgeted uncomfortably. "Yeah, so?"

He raised his arms up in defense.

"Don't you?" I asked.

Ian didn't say anything. He winked, unbuckled his seatbelt, and climbed out of the car.

"What the hell?" I muttered to myself, confused and feeling uncomfortable as I followed Ian to my apartment.

~

We studied for a while until I got bored. I just wasn't in the mood, all I could think of was my mother and the sibling I would have in just a few months.

"Are you alright?" Ian asked, pushing aside all the school work.

"Sure."

He held my gaze, as if daring me to stop there. I sighed.

"My parents practically abandoned me and now they want me back, I'm just confused, that's all."

Ian sighed. "You know what we need?"

"What?"

"Pizza and a few drinks."

"Drinks?"

He smirked. "Yes, Nate. Drinks."

"Like beer and stuff?"

"Yes, like beer and stuff," he drawled. "It's like you've never had alcohol before."

I felt my face warm up.

"Holy shit!" He laughed. "Now we're definitely getting drinks. You order the pizza, I'll get the beer."

"I won't drink."

"That's what they all say."

That only made me more certain of my decision.

Ian got up and left the apartment, and came back a few minutes later with a plastic bag.

"Did you order the pizza?"

I nodded, peering inside the bag.

Ian reached inside and pulled out a bottle. "Do you have the opener?"

"I think so," I said, Ian following behind as I rummaged through my kitchen.

"Here," I said, handing him the small piece metal.

"You don't drink but you have a beer opener," he stated, amused.

"It's not only used for beer."

"Whatever you say."

I rolled my eyes and watched as Ian wrenched the cap off before taking a long swig.

"Ah, that was good," he licked his lips.

I scrunched my nose. "It smells like shit."

He shook his head. "When's the pizza getting here?"

"Soon. You're impatient."

"I'm hungry," he shrugged.

My stomach rumbled in agreement.

"Are you sure you don't want one?" Ian asked.

"Positive," I said, inching away from the bottle he offered me.

He shrugged and finished his bottle before picking up another one.

I narrowed my eyes.

"What?"

"How many are you planning on drinking?"

"All of them. Unless you change your mind, of course. Sharing is caring, right?"

I shook my head, standing up to carry the box of beer. "No way."

"What's it to you?"

"Do you drink so much around Dev?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, his eyebrows meeting in anger.

"Calm down," I snapped. "I just don't want to carry your drunken ass back to your apartment."

He scowled, but otherwise let me carry the box to the refrigerator where I hid it at the very back.

Ian finished up the his bottle and said, "What now?"

"We wait for the pizza," I said.

"And then what?"

I sighed. "You can go home."

"Or," he said. "We could go to the café. It's karaoke night."

"No way," I shook my head.

"Come on, it'll be fun!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I can't sing."

"I'll do anything!"

I squinted at him. "Anything?"

He nodded. "Anything."

An hour later, I found myself sitting beside Ian at the café, my arms crossed over my chest.

"It's starting in a few minutes," Ian said.

He was grinning at me, his legs bouncing up and down excitedly.

I shot him an impatient glare.

"If you had to rate your singing skills from zero to ten, how much would it be?" he asked.

"Negative one."

He laughed. "I'm sure you're exaggerating. You clearly have a singer's voice."

"A singer's voice?"

"Yeah," he shrugged.

I scoffed. "What does that even mean?"

"It means, you don't have to sing for me to know that you have a decent voice."

I shook my head with a grin. "Who made you an expert?"

"I'm just a very good listener."

I rolled my eyes.

Then his eyes widened, and he smiled so broadly that I could practically see all the teeth in his mouth.

"It's starting!"

I groaned. Why me?

Although, it was my choice. I could have said no. But I just had to have Ian owe me something. Because that always helped.

Not.

"Come on!" he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me non too gently.

I huffed, but stood anyway.

Luckily for me, the café was not as busy as it could have been. A few of the regulars sat in their usual seats and I spotted a couple of new faces, but I was certain no one would really remember me, so I let Ian drag me to the stage without putting up a fight.

A group of friends were already on, sharing a microphone between one another as they sang off tune, skipping a few words just to giggle ridiculously.

"What song are we signing?" I asked.

Ian pointed at the screen facing the stage. "Take your pick. I'm leaning towards "Single Ladies"."

I scoffed. "No way in hell."

"Then find something else," he said.

I scanned the screen and had to scrunch my nose halfway through. "They all suck."

"Hurry up," Ian hissed. "It's almost our turn."

I panicked, hurrying through the titles. "Okay, what about "I'm singing in the rain"?"

"Nah, too slow."

I almost tore my hair out. "Fine then. We're doing "Ain't no mountain high enough"."

Ian grinned. "Okay."

I blinked. "Wait, really?"

"Yeah, it's perfect!"

I groaned. I was only half serious when I suggested the song, but I figured it was better than "Single Ladies".

"Come on," Ian said. "It's our turn."

Ian pulled me by the hand and I soon found myself on the stage. I always watched people perform on that stage, and it felt almost nauseating to be on the other side.

"I don't know how Jesse does this," I whispered to Ian.

I wasn't sure he heard me because the music started to play suddenly, and I froze over completely.

The lyrics were separated according to color. The man's parts were in blue while the woman's was in red, and when they sang together, the lyrics would appear in green. Thankfully, Ian took the man's part and I had a few seconds before I had to face my "death".

Ian handed me a microphone, while tapping his feet against the wooden boards.

Then he started singing.

And I wouldn't say he was the best at it, but he wasn't the worst. Either way, I was still too nervous to laugh about it.

"Listen baby, ain't no mountain high,

Ain't no valley low, ain't no river wide enough baby."

It was almost my turn and I started to panic, Ian nudging me by his elbow as if to warn me and I almost punched him right then.

I licked my lips, my hand sweaty and slippery against the cold metal of the microphone.

"f you need me call me, no matter where you are,

No matter how far..."

My voice was low at first, and I kind of stumbled over a few words. But then the chorus came around and Ian and had to sing together so I didn't feel too exposed and actually raised my voice a little.

"Don't worry baby

Just call my name; I'll be there in a hurry

You don't have to worry,

Oh baby there ain't no mountain high enough,

Ain't no valley low enough,

Ain't no river wide enough

To keep me from getting to you babe."

Somehow, and I don't know when, but I started to smile as I sang. I was actually enjoying myself. Then Ian and I began dancing spontaneously. Awkward and slow feet tapping at first, before we moved to full on dancing.

The song slowed to an end, my throat throbbed because I wasn't so used to working at it so much, but I was laughing and I was having so much fun I forgot about everything that was bothering me.

It was just me and Ian, fooling around in front of a bunch of strangers who couldn't care less.

"Want to go again?" Ian asked, wiping at his forehead as he tried to calm his labored breathing.

"Hell no," my eyes widened.

"One more time," he begged.

"Fine," I said.

We chose another song and sang it together.

Then we picked another and sang that.

And another.

By the time we left the café I was too spent to do anything else. Ian and I walked to my apartment, dragged ourselves to the couches before throwing ourselves down and succumbing to a deep long sleep.

Heyyy :)

I linked "Ain't no Mountain High Enough" to this chapter if anyone's interested. It's cheesy and old but also cute so yeah.

Question: what's your favorite song (at the moment/ of all time)?

Thank you for reading! And OMG we're at 30k, what even.