Chapter 46

“Why?”

“I’m sorry.”

Ben apologized repeatedly and did not say anything more.

For a moment, Yelena stared at Ben, who stubbornly refused to speak further and then decided to send him away.

“…get out.”

After sending Ben out, Yelena slumped into bed.

“I didn’t…”

Her words trailed off with a sigh.

She didn’t expect that.

Emotions were subjective.

It was the same with a child’s feelings.

Objectively, even if the child’s environment was abundant and there were no elements to make them feel unhappy, the child could still be unhappy.

So… Duke Mayhard’s parents could have really loved him as much as the rumors claimed, but his childhood was still unhappy.

‘I’d rather it was something like that.’

But Ben’s attitude made it clear.

He evaded the answer.

He wouldn’t answer Yelena’s question.

What could be the reason?

There was only one answer.

It meant that the young Duke of Mayhard looked unhappy even in Ben’s eyes.

Not subjective unhappiness, but objective unhappiness visible to the eyes of a third party.

In other words, her husband’s childhood was nothing like the rumors filled with parental love.

The rumor was a lie.

“Ha…”

Yelena, who was lying on the bed, placed her hand on her chest again.

She finally understood.

The reason why her husband wouldn’t sleep with her.

Her husband didn’t want a child.

He didn’t want the child born to bear the same misfortune as himself.

Moreover, his unhappy childhood must have played a part in that decision.

She just learned about what she had been so curious about, but rather than feel relieved, something seemed to be stuck in her chest.

Yelena clasped her chest until she wrinkled her clothes and rolled around in bed.

“Why did you do that? Why?! He wasn’t even a grown-up. Why did you do that to a child!?”

He said he found an almost abandoned, poorly managed garden because he wanted to be alone.

The Duke’s own son felt like that.

She could already imagine how the family members treated her husband when he was a child.

“You’ll regret it…”

Yelena continued to roll around the bed until she was exhausted from anger and looked at the ceiling, panting.

Everyone, including those who were already dead, will regret it.

“The dead must repent in the afterlife.”

Her husband was not a monster.

Nor was he cursed by the devil.

He will save the world.

To be exact, his child will save the world. However, without him, there would be no children, so the result was the same.

‘…of course, in order to do so, I’ll have to give birth to my husband’s child.’

Yelena blinked as she stared at the ceiling.

“What should I do now?”

She never thought her husband would refuse to sleep for that reason.

No, in honesty, she didn’t think about it.

‘Why didn’t I think about that?’

He didn’t want to pass on his pain to his child.

It was quite a normal story to think of.

“Ah…”

Yelena groaned for a moment, covering her face with both hands.

She seemed to have figured it out.

She had channeled her focus on the events ‘after’ the birth of a child.

Instead of focusing on the fact that the child may be born with the same curse as her husband. Or that the child may be unhappy because of it.

Without realizing it, she thought it had nothing to do with Yelena herself.

Because she unconsciously thought that just giving birth to a child meant she was playing her role.

But, now she understood.

That was a stupid idea.

The child born was a warrior because they were her child.

Not just her husband’s child, but her husband and hers.

‘I’m…’

The sudden realization made Yelena hiccup.

‘I’m going to be a mother.’

She had mistakenly thought this whole thing had been too simple.

It wasn’t a simple matter of only giving birth.

Before saving the world, the child will grow up as her child.

“Mother. I’m going to be a mother…”

Yelena, who felt flustered, couldn’t get out of bed.

A maid went to find Yelena when she didn’t get out of the bedroom even after mealtime, but Yelena sent her back saying she had no appetite.

Yelena’s restless mind continued into the night.