12: I just couldn't

Bella

Mr. Hulk parked his black Maserati outside my apartment building. He shifted slightly in his seat, so he was looking at me. I didn't bother to look up at him because I wasn't sure what I would find there. Lucca said he was going to apologize to me and make peace with it. But I was still nervous, scared that any moment now. He will ask me to get the hell out of Lucca's life and to never comeback. After all Lucca was the underboss, and I was just an orphan with paramedic degree.

When I first meet Lucca, behind the dumpster, I knew he was into something bad. But I kept ignoring the warning that was going on in my head. Why do you ask?? Because I was mesmerized by him, by his touch, by his look and it was Lucca. My Lucca. And when I entered his huge mansion, I realised he was not only trouble but he was trouble with a capital T.

But I didn't care, I just didn't. I wanted to be with Lucca - even if it meant in hell. I needed him. Slowly but surely he was taking my heart away from me and in return he was giving me his.

"Miss.Gabrielle" Hulk's words pull me back to the present. And I bit my tongue from saying 'call me Bella' and let him continue.

"I would like to apologise for what I did back there. I had no right going behind your back and digging into your past. I was wrong and I would really appreciate if you could forgive me and accept my apology."he said as he pushed open the glove compartment and pulled out a paper bag. He then offered it to me.

I looked at it and then back at Hulk. "Francesco, I forgave you the moment Lucca told me he is the underboss of Massimo family. I realised you were just doing your job, and I am happy you take Lucca's protection very serious."I say as I gently push back the bag. And it was true. I was worried about Lucca's life and after seeing the height Hulk went to make sure I was clean and no harm to Lucca. I realised he was loyal to Lucca and I forgave him.

"And you don't have to give me anything to forgive you. I understand what you did was all for Lucca's security and I really appreciate it." I explain it to Hulk softly. I was not scared of him, but I was definitely not comfortable either. He was a bull ready to attack and I was just.... just...Bella. The girl who was falling for his brother, his boss.

"Miss.Gabrielle please I would really appreciate if you take this small gift." He says as he gently places the bag on my lap and I just look at "Or else I would think you are still angry with me and you haven't forgiven me," He adds.

I wanted to laugh because he sounded uncomfortable and embarrassed. It was like he has never asked someone for forgiveness and has no idea how to do it. I inhaled deeply and decided to get him out of his misery. "Francesco you really don't have to give me anything"

But before I could continue he chimes in "But I really want to. I want to show you I really mean this and would really love if you take it please. And plus its just a digital watch that would help you at work and make your life easy."I smile at his excuse. He really sucked at this. It was like he had no idea how this worked and was bribing me with watch.

"Okay, I will only accept this if you would promise me one thing." I said this as I looked up at him with hopeful eyes. If I was giving him something he should at least do me a small favour in return. But when he continues to keep quiet and stare at me. I realise he must think I am going to ask something big, so I rush to explain.

"It's more like a request actually." I smile up at him but he still stayed like a stone. I look down at the bag in my hand and then back at him and decide to just say it. "It's actually about Lucca. I want you to increase his security because after what happened yesterday I am worried that the bad guys might try to attack him again. And I am worried he might get hurt."I finish as I try not to quiver under his gaze. He was looking at me with confused eye. It was as if he was thinking something and wasn't sure about it. He kept looking at me and I quiver a bit more in the seat.

"Can you Francesco??" I ask him after a long moment of silence.

"Miss. Gabrielle, I promise you that I will always keep Lucca's safety my number one priority." And the moment he said that I exhaled a relief breath. I notice him noticing my reaction and wonder he is going to say something or maybe change his mind. So I quickly push open the door and thank him. Not giving him a chance to rethink.

"Thank you so much Francesco. I am counting on you." I said as I grabbed the bag and exited the car. I trust Francesco not because of this promise. But because Lucca trusted him with his life and I trust Lucca.

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THE NEXT DAY

On my way back to my apartment from the bus stop I noticed the weather was getting a bit chilly. In the early hours of day, it was cold and fresh at the same time. I hug myself and rubbed my hands up and down over my arms. I inhaled a lungful of cold air and wished Lucca was here next to me. So I could snuggle close to him and soak myself in his warmness. I smiled at that thought.

The walk to my apartment was just 5 - 10 minutes depending on my mood. If I was feeling lazy I would walk really slowly like a grandma. But if I was in a rush to pee, I would rush walk, like a crazy lady on black friday sale.

Today was a beautiful day, and I was enjoying my walking, strolling slowly along the sidewalk. I was also enjoying the sun that was hitting my face along with the cold wind that was blowing my hair of my face. I was going to be a big tangled mess but I didn't care.

I turned right at the corner and entered my street that lead to my apartment. I noticed a black BMW waiting outside my apartment building. At this time usually, everyone has left for work, and it was odd that there was a car waiting outside my building.

First I thought it was Lucca or one of his brother but then as if the man in the driver seat heard my thought. He pushes opens the front drivers door and steps out. He looks right at me and then moves to the back door and pulls it open.

A man in his late 40's with salt and pepper hair steps out. He fixes his loose suit jacket and buttons it up. He looks at me and then gives me a huge smile.

Do I know him??? Why is he smiling at me?? Is something on my face??? Should I just ignore him and just walk right past him?? I ask myself so many questions in the spare of one second. But before my mind could reply the man speaks up as he takes few steps in my direction.

"Morning Bella dear." The man says my name with a hint of italian accent. He stretches out is right hand for me to shake and I just look at it.

"....ah..Hi" I say not sure who this man is or how he knows my name. "I am sorry but do I know you??" I ask him politely not wanting to offend him or anything.

He continues to smile and his hand remains out for me to shake. I look at it for a second then look back at him in confusion but then decide to shake it anyways.

He holds my hand in a powerful grip and shakes it up and down for a second before letting it go. "I am Corbiniano Costa a pharmaceutical scientist working independently currently." The moment he lets go of my hand, he pulls out a business card from his suit jacket and hands it over to me.

I take it obediently and wonder if he is here to sell his brand products to me. I have heard many doctors and nurses have been approached by big pharmaceutical companies to suggest their brand instead of other. And some even pay them a big some of money to do so. But I was just a paramedic and didn't have the licence or will to do such thing.

"Mr.Corbiniano I think you are mistaken. I am just a paramedic and not a doctor or nurse who can promote your brand or the drugs that you are selling." I explain him in as calmly as I could. I have heard from my co-workers that the pharmaceutical preps are very persuasive and get pushy too if needed. And I was seriously in no mood to get into any argument - my feet were hurting from the long shift and my back was aching too.

"Oh no dear. I am not here for that." he replies softly and when I look at him in puzzled look and he continues "I am here to talk you regarding a personal matter. So if you could spare me some time, I would really appreciate it."

"Personal matter??" I ask in a perplexed tone.

"Bella dear, I would rather explain it while you are sitting down. Please, it will only take 10 minutes." He offers.

I give him and his driver a skeptical look and It seems like he gets my silent message because he rushes to explain. "We can talk in the cafe across the street with everyone around us. I swear I mean no harm. I am here just to inform you about something you have been kept unaware of." He says as he points at the coffee shop across my building.

I look at the coffee shop and then back at him. He is right he can't hurt me in a cafe filled with people plus he looks like he really wants to tell me something.

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COFFEE SHOP

"What would you like Bella dear?" Mr. Corbiniano asks me once we are seated across each other at the small square table.

I glanced around the coffee shop. It was not a famous one, but it was definitely packed at this time. We sat at the table in the right corner, almost near the counter. I could smell the cinnamon roll and coffee from here, but I was in no mood to eat or drink.

"Orange juice would be good." I replied politely to Mr. Corbiniano who kept looking at me expectedly.

"Mathew get Bella orange juice and a black coffee for me." Mr.Corbiniano said to his driver who was standing right behind his seat.

"Yes sir." He nodded like an obedient employer and left the two of us alone.

"You look just like her." Mr.Corbiniano said before I could say anything. "Your mother has the same coffee color eyes as yours." He added when I kept quiet.

My stomach churned nastily at his words. My mother... is he talking about my birth mother because my adoptive mother had light blue eyes. "Do you.. How .." I inhaled in a calming breath and started again "How do you know about my parents?"

Before he could reply Mathew comes back and places an orange juice in front of me and a coffee cup in front of Mr.Corbiniano.

"Thank you " I say in a shaky tone and then look at Mr.Corbiniano.

"You are welcome Miss." He nods and leaves us alone. But only before placing a thick folder on the table close to Mr.Corbiniano. I glanced at it but keep quiet.

After meeting so many strangers at work, one thing I had learned is to give the stranger the upper hand. Let him navigate the conversation and wait for him to unfold all his card. So that's what I did, I took a calming breath and looked at Mr.Corbiniano gesturing him to continue. "So you were saying." I ask him again as I take the orange juice and sip it through the straw. It was cold - exactly what I needed to calm my crunched stomach.

Mr.Corbiniano waited until I had taken a sip of my OJ and placed the plastic cup down on the table before speaking. "Bella your mom and I were very close to each other." He said slowly "She .. " he waited for a few seconds before looking right in my eyes and continuing  "She is my wife."

The moment those words left his mouth my heart skipped a beat. His wife.. so does this mean he is my..father. I feel a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach and the orange juice I just drank seconds ago was rushing back to come out.

This day was getting worse by the minute. I couldn't take it anymore. It's has been more than 25 years now and still my past is haunting me. I didn't wanted my past to come looking for me now when I have moved on, moved on to someone special. Lucca. I want Lucca here with me.. I want Lucca now.. I try to take a calming breath as I notice myself hyperventilating.

Once I was relaxed I stood up abruptly not wanting to hear anymore of it. This was a wrong idea. I don't care who he is.. not willing to say the word. I just don't care. I have lived on my own for the last 20 years and I can for the next 20 or so years. I didn't needed him or my ... I couldn't even bare to think of the words.

"Bella dear listen to me please." He stood up with me.

"With all due respect Mr. Corbiniano I don't want to know anything more about my real parents. They left me and it's done. I don't care anymore about either one of them." I say as I try to move but Mr.Corbiniano hold my wrist in an uncomfortable tight grip.

"Even when if it includes your boyfriend Lucca." He says in sinister filled tone which surprises me, just moments back he was talking and looking at me with love and concern filed eyes. Now he was basically growling at me. It was like he flipped.

I shoved my hand off from his grab and look back at him. What I really wanted to do was punch him but I restrained myself and ask him with low tone. "What about Lucca??" Anger was dripping from each and every word I said. I was starting to hate this man - father or no father.

His eye sparked with interest when he noticed my reaction to it and asked me sit down for a second. "Please bella dear sit down first. Relax and I will tell you everything." He quickly changed his demeanor, which was both surprising and interesting. He was either hiding something or trying to be someone.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the coffee smell around me. Once I was under control I opened my eyes and glared at him "I will only give you 5 minutes and then I am out of here. I want you to tell me exactly what you have on my Lucca." I wanted to get the hell away from this man but when he said he has some news about Lucca. I wanted to know, not because I doubted Lucca but because how on earth my so called father - knows about Lucca. Also maybe he is one of his enemies and trying to hurt him. I needed to keep my calm if I need to know the whole truth.

He nods and gestures me to sit back down. "Just 5 minutes"

I sit back and look right at him. I was hating everything about this man. He could be my father but he has done nothing to be called one.

"I met your mother in the Royal Pharmaceutical company and we fell in love with each other. I proposed her when we found out she was pregnant with you." He looks at me expecting a reaction but I just reply in irritation. "So you got married because of me."

He shakes his head "No Bella dear we were in love and you ..you .." he looked flustered but kept his tone in control.

"I was a mistake" I say when I notice he was failing miserably to complete the sentence.

"No dear, you were a surprise... a good surprise and I couldn't believe Isa was giving me a child, a beautiful daughter." He adds but he doesn't sounds like he was happy.

"So then why did you leave you beautiful surprise at the orphan house. Why??" He said he was happy when I was born then why throw me out like I was not welcomed. After all this year I have come to terms with the fact that my parents didn't want me. They were happy been alone and I was nothing more than a nuisances in their life that's why they just threw me out. But now after all this time my father tells me I was a good surprise. I don't believe it. I don't believe him.

"We didn't " He says in anger and then gets himself under control "We didn't drop you at any orphanage it was Lucca's father." He says as he waits for my reaction.

"What??? I don't believe you?? Why would Lucca's dad do that??" I say in utter disbelief. I had no doubt in my mind that Lucca or his family would ever do anything like this. I trusted him.

"I am afraid dear but it is true and I have prove." He says as he pulls out pictures from his folder.

"Look this is Lucca's father - Mr.Massimo and his right hand man - Dante." he say as he places a picture right in front of me. It was a photo of two men laughing at something and sharing a drink. One man looked exactly like Lucca - just a bit aged and the other was strange to me.

"This doesn't prove anything" I hiss at him.

"These might" He places next picture on top of it. The photo looked like it was taken from a CCTV camera It showed a man who looked like Dante carrying something close to his chest. It could be a baby but the photo was not so clear.

"That is Dante kidnapping you from the hospital you were born. That is you." He says as he points to the thing - the blanket basically cause I could barely see any baby there.

"Why would Lucca's father kidnap me??" I ask him with a pointy look.

He sighs and sits back "As I said before I am pharmaceutical scientist. My team and I was working on cancer related painkiller. Lucca's mother had pancreatic cancer and as you know it is a very painful cancer." I nod but remain quite. "Lucca's dad asked me to supply him those medicine which were still under process and in return he would make me rich."

I refused the offer on spot because even through my work was for a noble cause but it was still not completely finish. The medicine was in stage 2 of testing and we were still checking for the side effect and other complications it could have." He sipped his coffee and then continued.

"But Mr.Massimo wasn't taking no for an answer and threaten me and my family so I gave him a few boxes of the pill. But somehow my workplace figured it out and I was fired and my license was revoked. But this wasn't the worst - Lucca's mother developed a adverse reaction to the medicine and passed within hours of taking the pill." he says as he runs his hand over his face.

I gasp and feel sorry for Lucca.

But Mr.Corbiniano continues "Mr.Massimo blamed his wife's death on me and decided to get even with me. He said I took the best thing from his life, so he would take the best thing from my life - you. So he kidnapped you the day you were born. And Bella dear we looked for you everywhere and your mother, Isa.." He says as he wipes down a single tear from his cheek.

"..she was depressed for 3 months. She barely ate anything for the first week. Always staring at your clothes and your photo." He says in a very low tone almost close to a whisper. It was like he was in those moments once again. He then placed my birth certificate in front of me and then few photos of me and my mother, Isa.

I flip through them and stopped at one picture. It was a family picture of Mr.Corbiniano and Isa with another girl. I look up at him in confusion.

He smiles through his watery eyes and says "That's Ella, after you were kidnapped god blessed us with another girl. We named her after you Ella."

I don't say anything and just look at him. I couldn't believe what he was saying. How Lucca's father kidnapped me and how I was left at the orphanage. I swallow the lump that was formed in my throat. "I have a sister" I ask.

"Yes, bella dear, you do and she looks just like you."

It was then that I noticed the similarities in Ella and me. She had the same big brown eyes as I did and so does our mom Isa. In the photo my mom was smiling at the camera and holding a baby - apparently me close to her. I was wearing the exact same blanket the man Dante was carrying out of the hospital in other picture.

"She looks just like me. " I absently says.

"Yes she does." He smiles as he replies me.

But suddenly instead of crying I get angry at him. After all this years of been alone why was he here. "Why are you showing me all this?? Why now?? After all this year why now??" I ask him after a minute of silence.

"We have been looking for you for the last 10 years and when we found you. You had become this amazing independent women that I thought you wouldn't want us anymore in your life." I just stare at him in disbelief. He was making decisions for me .. for the person he never meet. But I was furious, angry.. hiding my pain  "Then why show up now??"

"Because yesterday when I got the courage to come and meet you. I saw you Lucca's men dropping you at your building."

"Then later I found out through my men's that you both were seeing each other. And I thought I needed to protect you. I failed when you were a baby but not now, not when I have the power and the people."

Nothing he was saying, was making sense. I just meet Lucca three days back and how can he already hear about us. How can he know we are seeing each other. But I decided to remain quiet and let speak.

"Bella dear" He said in a sweet voice. "Are you okay?? I know this is too much to take but you need to understand I am here for you. I will be from now own. I will try to be a better father from now own."

He looked at me and I looked back at him - expressionless. I wasn't sure what to say, more like what to believe, whom to believe. So I did the thing I was best at - run, hid from difficult situation until they left me alone.

"Mr.Corbiniano, I had a very long night shift and I am exhausted. I would like to have some time to myself so I can absorb all this." I say as I gather all the papers and photos in front of me. I know I should just leave all this and walk away but I wanted to look at them and decide.

"I will take this with me, if you don't mind?" I say as I look up at him for response.

"Oh, sure dear. They all are for you. Take as much time you need to but let me tell you your mom and sister are waiting to meet you."

I nod and we both stand from our chairs. "Thank you for understanding Mr.Corbiniano."

"Always dear. Always." He says as he follows me out the coffee shop.

Outside the coffee shop, Mr.Corbiniano suggests we exchange or number in case I need to inquire about something. I agree and then we say a quick goodbye and I head in the direction of my buildings entrance.

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BELLA's APARTMENT

I was lying on my back on my bed. The thick folder with my past information was resting on my stomach. My mind was blank yet Mr.Corbiniano's words on a loop in my ear.

Kidnapped...Hospital...Isa...Ella...depression...mother...father...sister...revenge...Lucca's father...Lucca's mother....Lucca...his family.

'What is really the truth??' I ask myself out loud as I close my eyes tightly.

'Please God, please let it all be a dream.... a very bad dream. I don't want to lose Lucca. I .....' I let out a small sob before I complete my sentence 'I love him.'

It was as if Lucca heard me and the very next second I confessed my love to no one in particular my phone started ringing. Lucca's name popped up on the screen and without wasting a single second I answered it.

"Hello."