Chapter 11
0°Celsius: To thaw a frozen heart
As expected, her parents almost had a coronary when Jen reluctantly detailed Brendanâs stalker activities of late. When she reached the part about the rose petals in her apartment, her father looked so livid she thought he might actually grab his favorite rifle and go after Brendan. Thankfully, Carson managed to talk the admiral down, assuring him that Jen was safe at Cashâs apartment and would remain that way until Brendan left town.
The discussion lasted for the better part of an hour. When her parents finally eased up and stopped trying to coerce her to move back home, she breathed a sigh of reliefâonly to get annoyed all over again once they started harassing her about her current state of unemployment.
Her mother mentioned nursing again.
Her father pointed out there was no shame in enlisting in the military at twenty-five.
They both remarked that she spent too much time taking âsillyâ pictures.
Her brother tried to run interference.
And through it all, Cash sat there, looking so uncomfortable she felt truly bad for him. The only time her father acknowledged him was to bark out questions about Cashâs training and offer pointed reminders that his âlittle girlâsâ safety was in Cashâs hands. Talk about pressure, but it was all you could expect from the mighty Admiral Scott.
By four oâclock, her parents had calmed down, and she was anxious to get the hell out of there. So was Cash, judging by the way he kept tapping his loafers on the floor of the deck. Carson had gone inside by then to check his email, though Jen suspected heâd used that as an excuse to disappear.
Abruptly, she pushed her chair back and stood up. âOkay, I think itâs time for us to go. I want to clean up my resume tonight.â
That earned her a frown from her mother. âWhere are you thinking of applying?â
âNot sure yet. Iâll take a look at the listings, maybe hit up Horton Plaza and Fashion Valley to drop off resumes.â
Her mom made that familiar tsk of disapproval. âWouldnât you rather do something useful, Jennifer? Something that makes a difference?â
âSales makes a difference,â she said lightly, hoping her parents wouldnât notice the annoyed tic in her jaw. âI help people pick out that perfect outfit or find the perfect gift.â
âHoney, canât you just consider the idea of nursing school?â
Fighting the urge to rip out her own hair, Jen managed a nod. âSure, Mom. Iâll consider it.â She turned to Cash. âReady to go?â
He was on his feet in a nanosecond. âSure. If thatâs what you want.â
Suck-up. Leaving it up to her when he was clearly dying to escape. There was a reason she hadnât brought many guys home. Her mother wasnât so bad, aside from the not-so-veiled criticism, but her father? He was a force to be reckoned with: authoritative, strict, and with no tolerance for error.
âI want a daily check-in,â the admiral said after Jen gave him a goodbye kiss on the cheek.
âWeekly,â she countered.
âTwice a week.â
She rolled her eyes. âYes, sir.â
Leaving her parents on the deck, she and Cash headed back inside. In the hallway, she stopped and touched his arm. âI just need to use the bathroom,â she said.
âIâll meet you in the car.â His strides were eager as he hurried off.
Jen was eager to get going too, but after she left the bathroom, she ended up getting sidetracked on her way to the front door. Hearing Carsonâs voice drifting out of the den, she halted midstep. Her brother soundedâ¦agitated.
She wasnât a snooper by nature, but Carsonâs strained voice compelled her to creep closer to the den.
âI know, but I really need to see you.â
Jen froze.
âMaybe a quick cup of coffee tomorrow?â Carson paused. âNo, Holly doesnât know. I havenât told her yet.â
A sick feeling settled in the pit of her stomach.
âOkayâ¦sureâ¦tomorrow at noon. The Starbucks on Market? See you then, angel.â
Angel?
Jen shook the WTF cobwebs from her head. When she heard footsteps nearing the door, she snapped out of her trance and darted back to the bathroom. Sucking in a few deep breaths, she tried to control the confusion and suspicion flying through her.
Exhaling slowly, she stepped out of the bathroom, running into Carson just as he strode into the hall.
He flashed her a tired look. âAll done with the Spanish Inquisition?â
âYes, thank God.â She hesitated. âWhy didnât Holly come with you today?â
âSheâs at the restaurant.â
âI thought she doesnât work Sundays.â
âShe doesnât, but the weekend chef called in sick, so she had to go in.â
Jen narrowed her eyes. âWhatâs this I hear about Holly staying with her sister the other night?â
Carsonâs lips tightened under her scrutiny. âIt was no big deal. We got into a little fight, thatâs all.â
âA fight over what?â
âOver none of your damn business.â
He made a move to march off, but she latched her hand onto his defined upper arm. âCarson. Whatâs going on?â
âNothing,â he muttered. âJust husband and wife stuff, okay?â
âShould I be worried?â
âNo.â He slowly uncurled her fingers from his biceps. âSo how you doing at Cashâs? Is he being a gentleman?â
His transparent attempt at deflection annoyed her. âHeâs being very hospitable.â
âHe hasnât put the moves on you, has he?â
No, I put the moves on him.
âOf course not,â she replied, but only because sheâd promised Cash she wouldnât say anything.
Still, the lie left a bitter taste in her mouth. She was twenty-five, for Godâs sake. Her brother had no say in her love life. Her safety, fine, sheâd give him that, but sheâd only bended to Carsonâs will and agreed to move out of her apartment because heâd raised legitimate concerns. What if Brendan did violate the restraining order and show up at her door? That wasnât so farfetched anymore, considering heâd just confronted her parents.
But while her brotherâs concerns about Brendan were valid, she didnât agree with his high-handed attitude about Cash.
âIâll talk to you later.â
She snapped out of her thoughts in time to see her brotherâs retreating back. Rather than call after him, she let him go, unable to fight the feeling of foreboding climbing up her spine. What on earth was up with her brother?
And why the hell had he called some other woman angel?
âI swear to God, if youâre cheating on your wifeâ¦â She couldnât even finish that sentence. The thought of Carson stepping out on Holly made her blood boil.
Squaring her shoulders, she marched to the front door and practically sprinted outside. She slid into the waiting SUV, slamming the door so hard Cash jumped.
âWhatâs wrong?â he asked immediately.
âNothing.â She buckled her seatbelt. âCan we stop at my sister-in-lawâs restaurant on the way home?â
âSure. Why?â
âI just want to say hi to Holly.â
As Cash started the engine and reversed out of her parentsâ driveway, Jen fixed her gaze out the window, still troubled by the conversation sheâd overheard.
The idea of Carson cheating on Holly continued to burn a hole in her stomach, but she didnât want to share her suspicions with Cash. Maybe if she didnât voice them out loud, they wouldnât feel real.
Angel.
Who had Carson been talking to?
Whoever it was, this didnât bode well for her brotherâs marriage. At all.
By the time Cash pulled up in front of Primrose, the restaurant where Holly worked, Jen was anxious to see her sister-in-law and make sure everything was okay.
âYou can wait in the car,â she told him. âI wouldnât mind some girl time.â
A perplexed groove dug into his forehead. âAll right.â
She hopped out and hurried toward the restaurantâs entrance. When she strode inside, she had to let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting. As usual, she was taken aback by the elegance of the place. Primrose was owned by a renowned West Coast chef, and Jen remembered Holly having to endure a three-month-long interview process to snag the prestigious sous-chef position.
The lanky young man at the hostess stand waved her in the direction of the kitchen once she told him Holly was her sister-in-law. Thanking him, she bypassed the main room and made her way down a wood-paneled hallway.
She hesitated in front of the swinging doors, then entered the enormous kitchen, where she earned a few quizzical looks from the kitchen staff. She immediately spotted her sister-in-law by a gleaming stainless steel counter across the room.
âHey sis,â she called.
The petite brunette spun around, her catlike green eyes filling with surprise. âJen? What are you doing here?â
âJust stopped to say hello,â she said lightly.
Holly saw right through her. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothingâs wrong,â Jen lied. âI really came by to say hi.â
Wiping her hands with a dishrag, Holly stepped away from the counter, abandoning the onions sheâd been mincing.
âDonât you have to finish those?â Jen asked.
âItâs just prep work. It can wait a few minutes.â Untying her white apron, Holly tossed a glance at the dark-haired man by the grill. âLuis, Iâm taking a break.â
âSure thing, sweetie.â
Holly took Jenâs arm and practically dragged her out of the kitchen and into the employee lounge, a large space with two couches, a kitchenette, and a bank of lockers spanning one wall.
Under Hollyâs piercing gaze, Jen felt like a little kid again. She and Holly were the same height, but the brunette triggered the same urge to cower that the admiral evoked in her.
âAre you okay? Did something happen with Brendan?â Holly frowned. âDid you come here alone? Because Carson said you werenât supposed to go anywhere without Cash. Whatâs wrong?â
She had to smile. âIâm fine. Nothing happened with Brendan. Cash is outside waiting in the car. And nothingâs wrong.â She gave Holly a pointed look. âNot with me, anyway.â
âWhat does that mean?â
âWhy didnât you tell me you and Carson were having problems?â
After a beat of stunned silence, Hollyâs shoulders sagged. âYou talked to Annabelle.â
âYes. And Carson, though he didnât say much.â
Holly drifted over to one of the couches and sat down. She rubbed her eyes, then lowered her hands to her lap and started fidgeting.
Jen sat next to her. âWhatâs going on?â she prodded. âCome on, Hol, talk to me. You know Iâm a good listener. And if itâs confidentiality youâre worried about, donât. I wonât breathe a word of what you tell me to Carson.â
Holly worried her bottom lip with her teeth. âItâs not a big deal. Carson and I are just going through a bit of a rough patch.â
âA few more details would help.â
Holly seemed reluctant, but then she opened her mouth and a stream of words gushed out. âWeâre not connecting, okay? He was gone for six months, and ever since he got back itâs like weâre on a different wavelength. It always takes a while to readjust once he comes home, but this timeâ¦itâs a little harder, I guess. He comes back and expects everything to be the same, but he doesnât realize that each time he leaves, itâs like our entire relationship was put on hold.
âHe complains that I work too much, but what else am I supposed to do? When heâs away, I have to do something to occupy myself, and I canât just drop what Iâm doing when he gets back.â Holly let out an anguished breath. âI know this is what I signed up for. I knew being married to a SEAL wouldnât be easy, but your brother is soâ¦infuriating sometimes. Itâs different for himâwhen heâs out of the country, heâs not thinking about me. Heâs focused on the job, the mission, staying alive. But me? All I do is think of him, and worry, and stress, and pray that heâs safe.â
Tears slid down Hollyâs cheeks, which startled Jen. Sheâd never once seen her feisty sister-in-law cry.
She reached out and gripped Hollyâs hand. âHey, itâs okay.â
âNo, itâs not. He doesnât understand that I get used to being alone when heâs gone. Itâs like I have a part-time husband. We didnât even have a honeymoon, for Peteâs sake! We had to cancel it because he got sent on some mission Iâm not even allowed to know about. Donât get me wrong, I love him. I love him so damn much. But sometimes it feels like I spend our entire marriage waiting for him to come home. And this time, he comes back and tells me he wants to have a baby.â
Jenâs jaw dropped. âSeriously?â
âYes, seriously. The big oaf wants a baby, but whoâll be the one raising it? Me. Doing it alone half the time.â Holly huffed. âHe suggested that I quit the restaurant and focus on Prestige Events with Annabelle, since thatâs only a weekend gig. So he comes home after six months, barely says hello before he carts me off to bed, drops a baby bomb and asks me to quit my job! Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that?â
Jenâs heart ached. But how was she supposed to comfort her sister-in-law? Everything Holly just said was the reason Jen had vowed not to get involved with a military man. A part-time husband didnât sound all that appealing to her either.
At a loss for words, she searched her brain for something reassuring to say, but Holly shot to her feet, looking mortified. âShit. Iâm sorry. I didnât mean to unload all that on you.â
âItâs okay. Iâm glad you told me.â
Hollyâs face scrunched up in misery. âI love him. You know I love him, right?â
âOf course you do. Everything will work itself out, Hol. But you need to talk to Carson about all this.â
âI have, but the stubborn jackass doesnât seem to hear me.â
âSo keep at it. Make him hear you. Carson can be a pigheaded asshole, but he loves you.â
Her brotherâs conversation with his angel suddenly flashed through her mind, but Jen forced it away.
âTalk to him,â she urged again. âYou two can fix this. I know you can.â
Hope shone in Hollyâs eyes. âYou really think so?â
âI really think so.â
Swallowing, the other woman wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. âFuck. I should get back to work. But thanks for coming by, Jen. I really needed this.â
âYouâre not off the hook yet. Annabelle and I are organizing a girlsâ night, so youâll have another chance to rant.â She grinned. âI hear Savannah gives good advice.â
Holly snorted. âOnly if itâs about sex. But yeah, Iâm totally up for a girlsâ night. Text me with the details, okay?â
âDefinitely.â
They parted ways in the corridor. Jenâs heart continued to ache as she walked outside. Cash had been fiddling with his phone, but he tossed it into the cup holder when she slid into the SUV.
âEverything okay?â he asked.
âNo.â
He pinned her down with a hard stare. âWhatâs going on?â
She hesitated, knowing she probably shouldnât say anything about her suspicions, but the need to confide in someone was too strong. With a heavy breath, she told him what sheâd overheard earlier.
Cash instantly shook his head. âNo way. Carson would never cheat on Holly.â
Jen envied his conviction. âThen why did he call that woman angel? And what about the Holly doesnât know part?â Nausea scampered up her throat. âHolly fully admitted theyâre having problems. What if Carson got tired of fighting with his wife and found some outside comfort?â
âNo way,â Cash said again. âWhatever you heard, there has to be an explanation for it. Carsonâs not the fucking-around type.â
âYou never knew him in his manwhore days,â she countered. âFucking around was his middle name.â
âWas. He loves his wife, Jen. Thereâs an explanation, trust me.â
She wished she could. Wished she could feel as certain as Cash sounded.
And she really wished she could erase Hollyâs miserable expression from her mind.
I knew what I signed up for.
Yep, Holly had known, but that didnât make it any easier, did it? Loving a SEAL was no walk in the park, and Carson and Hollyâs marital problems were proof of that.
Jen studied Cash from the corner of her eye, watching his strong hands move over the steering wheel as he pulled away from the restaurant. Sheâd been staying with him for five days now, theyâd been having sex only two of those days, but already she felt herself getting attached to him. She loved his heart-stopping grins and rough voice. The way heâd fallen asleep last night with one arm carelessly flung over her, as if he were trying to protect her even in her sleep. How he smiled at her when sheâd opened her eyes this morning. And his genuine praise for her photographs earlier had made her heart soar like a damn helium balloon.
But seeing Hollyâs ravaged face had reaffirmed her decision to avoid relationships with military guys. That meant she needed to nip this growing attachment in the bud and remember that they were just having a fling. Some hot sex, some laughter, some fun, and in two weeks, theyâd say goodbye.
Keeping his eyes on the road, Cash dropped one hand from the steering wheel and rested his palm on her jeans-clad thigh, lazily stroking her over the denim. The gesture felt so natural that Jen gulped.
Two weeks.
Biting her lip, she forced herself to cling to that reminder. Two weeks. That was all the time they had left, all the time she would allow herself. No matter how much she enjoyed being with Cash, she couldnât risk forming an emotional attachment to him.
Because there was no doubt in her mind that if she let herself, she could fall head over heels in love with Cash McCoy.