Chapter 15
0°Celsius: To thaw a frozen heart
âYou realize you havenât stopped smiling all morning?â Cash leaned in the bathroom doorway, watching Jen brush her hair in front of the mirror. That shit-eating grin on her face widened when their eyes met in the reflection.
âI canât help it,â she answered. âI keep thinking about last night.â
So was he, but he doubted the reason for his preoccupation aligned with Jenâs. The threesome had taken things to a whole new level for Cashâhe and Dylan had crossed a line he hadnât dreamed theyâd ever cross.
Sure, there hadnât been any awkwardness last night when Dylan left, but the tequila was still burning a path through Cashâs veins at that point.
Now, sober and in the light of day, he didnât feel as confident.
Memories of last night kept flashing across his mind: Dylanâs mouth surrounding his dick, the hard length of Dylanâs erection pulsing in his handâ¦
Christ. How would he ever look his friend in the eye again?
âYouâre not happy.â
Jenâs strained voice interrupted his troubled thoughts. He met her eyes, confused by the flicker of shame he saw there.
âYou think less of me, donât you?â she blurted out.
âWhat? Of course not.â
He came up and wrapped his arms around her from behind, lacing his fingers over her stomach as he leaned in to kiss her neck. Her silky hair tickled his chin, the sweet scent of it filling his nose.
Jen continued to watch him in the mirror. âSo you donât think Iâm a huge slut for sleeping with your best friend last night?â
He had to smile. âNot at all.â
Distress crossed her face. âHaving sex with two men at the same time isnât normal, Cash. Itâsâ¦deviant.â
Now a laugh escaped. âDeviant? Come on, you donât actually believe that, do you?â He hurried on before she could answer. âYou know what kind of raunchy shit happens behind closed doors? What we did last night was probably vanilla in comparison to what other âdeviantsâ do.â
Her lips twitched. âI guess.â
âWeâre adults. We can invite whoever we want into our bed, and as long as everyone involved is into it, then thereâs nothing wrong with that. Okay?â
âOkay.â She bit her bottom lip. âThen why did you look so unhappy before?â
Cash hesitated. âI was thinking about Dylan. Me and Dylanâ¦what we did.â
She set the hairbrush on the edge of the sink and turned to face him. âFooling around with another guy doesnât take away from your hetero masculinity, you know that, right? Itâs perfectly healthy to explore some bi-curiosities.â
âThatâs not it.â
âSo youâre not embarrassed about what happened?â
âNo. Iâm just wondering if this will change anything between us,â he admitted. âHeâs my best friend. I donât want things to getâ¦weird.â
âHe seemed fine when he left last night.â
Cash smiled ruefully. âAlcohol has a remarkable way of making everything seem like a good idea.â
She stepped forward and looped her arms around his neck. He had to tilt his head to look down at her, which continued to surprise him. He kept forgetting how tiny she was. Probably because her sunny smiles and big heart seemed to fill up any room she was in.
When she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him, he experienced a rare burst of tenderness. His chest tightened, his brain going fuzzy when she deepened the kiss. As much as he loved having sex with this girl, it was her kisses he was growing addicted to. Her sweet taste, her pliant lips, the tiny moan she let out each time their tongues met.
Sheâd gotten under his skin. He couldnât deny it any longer, and he couldnât pretend their conversation in the car yesterday hadnât affected him. Heâd tried to brush it off. Told himself he wasnât bothered by Jenâs reminder that the fling would end as scheduled when three weeks were up. But hell. It did bother him. He didnât like having an end date looming over him like a thundercloud.
He broke the kiss, trying not to dwell on his thoughts. âWhatâs on the agenda for today? Iâm meeting the guys around four to work out, but what should we do until then?â
Her expression instantly hardened. âI want to talk to Carson.â
âDid you call him?â
She nodded. âHis cell went to voicemail. I left a message. I was tempted to say it had to do with Brendan, just to guarantee heâd call back, but I felt bad making him worry so I said I needed to see him ASAP but that everything was okay. He hasnât called back yet.â Her face clouded over. âMaybe heâs busy with his angel.â
âJen,â he chided.
âI know, I know. There must be an explanation,â she mimicked.
Cash stifled a sigh and changed the subject. âOkay, so what do you want to do until he gets back to you?â
She grabbed an elastic band and twisted her hair into a loose bun. âI guess I can hand out some more resumes.â
âNobodyâs gotten back to you, huh?â
Her frustration was evident. âNope.â
âWell, itâs only been a day.â
âMaybe itâs for the best. I wasnât thrilled about any of the stores we went to. Besides, I hate sales.â She shoved the hairbrush in her toiletry case and blew past him.
Cash noted the droop of her shoulders as he followed her into the kitchen, where she grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
âMaybe I should apply for more office jobs,â she said after taking a sip of water. âI worked as a receptionist at a dental office a few years ago, and it wasnât so bad.â
âOr you could do something with photography,â he suggested.
She faltered. âLike what?â
âApply at the local papers, submit your stuff to magazines, contests.â He met her baffled eyes. âYouâre a damn good photographer. Why donât you find out if you can make a career out of it?â
âA career?â She looked surprised. âIâm not good enough to be a professional photographer, Cash.â
âSays who?â
Her brows puckered. âItâs only a hobby. Iâve never taken any classes or studied photography. I donât know any fancy techniques, or even the proper names for half the stuff I do on my camera.â
âSo? Your work speaks for itself. At least put yourself out there before you decide youâre not good enough.â
âI guess.â She chewed on her bottom lip. âItâs just not very practical. I canât see how Iâd make enough money to support myself.â
âSays who?â he repeated. âBecause youâre sounding a lot like your parents right now.â
He tried to mask his anger, but it was difficult when he remembered the condescending way her parents had spoken about her photographs. Or the way theyâd treated Jenâlike she was a failure, a disappointment to them.
âIâ¦â She swallowed. âItâsâ¦a hobby, Cash. And Iâm not good with rejectionâwhat if I send work out and everyone hates it?â
âThen everyone hates it.â He shrugged. âAt least youâll know that you tried.â
âAnd failed,â she muttered.
âThat kind of attitude isnât conducive to success, babe. See, youâve got yourself failing before youâve even given it a shot. Coming up with excuses not to go after what you want wonât achieve a damn thing.â
âExcuses? Iâm notââ
âYes you are,â he interrupted, his tone coming out harsher than heâd intended. âYouâre scared to put yourself out there. I get it. And Iâm not surprised it never occurred to you to turn your hobby into a career. I think your parents commented on your âsillyâ pictures half a dozen times when we went over there. Donât tell me that didnât annoy you.â
Her shoulders sagged. âOf course it did, butââ
âBut nothing. Your parents act like youâre disappointing them because you arenât doing what they want you to do, and all that criticism canât be good for your self-esteem. But Iâve seen your photographs, and trust me, they are good enough. So man up and go after what you want, Jen.â
His speech was rewarded by deafening silence.
Jen stared at him.
Fuck. Had he really just told her to man up?
His tendency not to sugarcoat was the reason his past relationships had failed. Heâd discovered a long time ago that women didnât want the truthâthey wanted a man who showered them with compliments and told them everything was fine and dandy. But Jen was so open and honest with him that heâd let down his guard. Heâd stopped carefully weighing every word and started openly speaking his mind.
Cash cleared his throat. âIâm sorry. That might have come out a little harsh.â
She opened her mouth to reply, but then her phone rang.
âUm, Iâll justâ¦get that.â
He winced as she bulldozed past him. He knew heâd screwed up, but damn it, she was too talented to let her parentsâ criticism deter her from doing what she loved.
Too bad he hadnât been able to convey that with a little more tact.
Jen answered the phone with an overly cheerful, âHey Tessa, whatâs up?â She paused, then said, âWhat?â
Cash went to her side and made out a tinny female voice on the line, talking a million miles a minute.
âSpeakerphone,â he said.
Jen clicked a button, and the panicked voice became audible.
ââI gave him your number. Iâm so sorry. I panicked, and he was so angry I thought he might hurt me. Iâveââ
âItâs okay,â Jen interrupted. âI understandââ
âânever seen anyone look so crazy. I know I shouldnât have given him your new number, but you shouldâve seen his face. He had crazy eyes and he was breathing hard, like heâd just run a marathon or something. It was the freakiest thingââ
Jen cut in again. âTessaâ¦Tessaâ¦calm down.â
A heavy breath sounded on the line.
âYou were scared,â Jen said gently. âI totally understand. Where are you now?â
âBack at the office. I ran all the way here from the restaurant. My boss will never invite me to lunch again, thatâs for sure.â
A beep cut through Tessaâs last sentence. Call waiting.
Squaring his jaw, Cash signaled for Jen to ignore it, then leaned into the mouthpiece to address her friend. âTessa? This is Cash McCoy. Jenâs staying with me until Brendan leaves town. Do you feel like he might come after you again?â
âNo,â was the wobbly response. âHe was adamant about getting Jenâs number, thatâs all. He also demanded to know where she was staying, but I pretended I didnât know. I made up a story about her brother whisking her off and how none of her friends have had contact with her for a week.â
âGood,â Cash said. âStick to that story if he bothers you again. Your office has security?â
âYes.â
âIf he shows up there, get security involved. If he approaches you outside of work, call the police. I donât want him making a habit of hitting you up for information.â
âOkay. Thanks,â Tessa said. âJen?â
âIâm here,â Jen spoke up.
âIâm so sorry. I panicked.â
âHey, I told you, itâs fine. Brendan is my problem, not yours. Iâm sorry he cornered you like that.â
âItâs not your fault, hon.â Tessa sighed. âThat man is certifiable, huh?â
âTell me about it.â
After they said goodbye, Jen checked the screen to find out whoâd called. Her scowl was all the answer Cash needed.
âBrendanâs office number,â she muttered, releasing an annoyed breath. âLooks like I have to change my number. Again.â
An idea niggled at the back of his mind. âCall him back.â
Her eyes widened. âWhy would I do that?â
âBecause enough is enough,â Cash said tersely. âThis creep showed up at your parentsâ house, and now heâs harassing your friends. Someone needs to have a little chat with him.â
âAnd, what, that someone will be you?â
âYup.â
âForget it. The best way to get him off my back is to ignore him. If you confront him, youâll only rile him up.â
No, but he might rough him up.
Probably best not to mention that, though. Using violence as a method of problem solving wasnât something he did oftenânot in his personal life, anyway. But Psycho McGee had already scared Jen out of her apartment, bombarded her email inbox with his nonsense, harassed her parents, and now he was causing trouble for her friends? The dude was long overdue for a wake-up call, and Cash had no problem giving it to him.
âCall him back,â he repeated, his tone brooking no argument.
Jen looked frazzled. âAnd say what?â
âTell him you want to meet him when he gets off work.â
âWhat? No.â
He ignored her protest. âSay you want to sit down and hash all this out. Arrange to meet at the Gaslamp Tavern.â
âCashââ
âJust do it, Jen.â
âThis is insane,â she said, but she still reached for her phone.
âBe polite, tell him itâs time for the two of you to talk, but donât lead him on,â Cash warned.
âLead him on? Itâll be a challenge not to yell every swear word in the book at him.â She lifted the phone to her ear.
âSpeaker,â he ordered.
Rolling her eyes, she pressed a button and lowered the phone.
Jenâs ex picked up on the first ring, sounding overjoyed. âJen! Oh, baby, Iâm so glad you called.â
Cashâs shoulders stiffened. Baby?
No fucking way, buddy. She is not your baby.
Her lips tightened. âHello, Brendan.â
âYou spoke to Tessa, didnât you?â Brendanâs deep, slightly gravelly voice held a note of unmistakable guilt. âI know I scared her, and I regret that. I was just going out of my mind not knowing where you were. I get why you moved out and why you filed the restraining order. I know you were freaked out about the notes and the flowers, but I didnât mean to frighten you. I wanted to make a grand romantic gesture, you know? Show you how much I still love you.â
Jen listened to the entire speech without comment. The angry glint didnât leave her eyes, but her voice remained cordial as she said, âWell, I was freaked out. Forgive me if your grand romantic gestures were a tad overwhelming.â
âI know. Iâm sorry,â he said again. âBut you called back, so that means youâre not angry anymore, doesnât it?â
âNo, Iâm still angry,â she answered coolly.
Cash sent her an unspoken warning with his eyes.
âBut I do think we should meet,â she added in a forced voice.
âYou do?â He sounded overjoyed.
âWe need to sit down and talk about this, Brendan.â
âThatâs a good idea. When do you want to do it?â
âAs soon as possible. Maybe today when youâre done work?â
The muffled sound of typing filled the line. âMy last appointment is at five. Iâll be finished by six. Should I come to you?â
âNo.â Her tone came out sharp. âIâd rather we meet somewhere public.â
A pause. âI understand.â
âMeet me at the new bar on Market and 5th. The Gaslamp Tavern,â Jen said. She shot Cash a brief look, and from her pink cheeks, he knew she was remembering the night theyâd met. âHow about six thirty?â
âSix thirty is perfect.â Brendan sounded choked up. âThank you. I know if you just give me a chance to explain, we can fix this.â
As promised, Jen didnât lead him on. Not even an inch. âIâll see you later, Brendan.â Then she disconnected and turned to Cash. âHappy?â
âNo, not really,â he said darkly. âHeâs clearly obsessed with you.â
âYouâre the one who wants to meet him.â She dropped the phone on the table and took a step away.
âWait.â He gulped. âAbout what I said before. I know I was harsh, butââ
âItâs fine,â she cut in. âLetâs not talk about it anymore.â
Cash reached out for her, but she sidestepped him and put a few more feet of distance between them. âIâm going to work on my laptop for a bit. I want to look through some more job ads.â
Guilt pricked his insides as she stalked toward the bedroom. Shit. Heâd definitely hurt her with the accusation that she didnât have the guts to follow her dream, but as usual, his brain-to-mouth filter had failed him.
Frustrated, he ran a hand over his scalp. Times like these, he wished he possessed Dylanâs charm or the ability to sweet-talk the birds out of the damn trees like Jackson. But no, apparently he was destined to wreck every relationship by being too damn blunt.
This isnât a relationship. Itâs a fling with an end date, remember?
The reminder only sent his spirits plummeting even lower.
A few hours later, Cash trudged down the beach to meet the guys. His mood hadnât improved as the day dragged on. Heâd tried apologizing to Jen, but sheâd brushed it off, saying it was no big deal. But clearly it was because sheâd barely uttered ten words to him all afternoon. Heâd almost blown off this workout to stay home and make things right with her, but slacking off wasnât an option in his line of work.
As he approached his teammates, he pushed all thoughts of Jen from his mind. Seth and Jackson walked up to greet him, but Dylan hung back, averting his eyes.
Shit. So this was going to be awkward.
ââSup, Wade,â he said tentatively, sticking out his hand.
After a beat, Dylan lifted his head. Rather than the discomfort or embarrassment Cash expected to see, Dylanâs green eyes displayed a twinkle of humor. ââSup, McCoy.â
As they bumped knuckles, the tension in Cashâs body eased, replaced with a tremor of relief that last nightâs activities hadnât fucked up their friendship.
âHowâs Jen?â Dylan asked with a faint grin.
âPissed. Her psycho ex got ahold of her cell number.â
âDid she talk to him?â
âYeah, but only because I forced her to.â He glanced at the other two. âI need to be out of here by six, so letâs get this show on the road.â
They stuck to the same routine as last time. But Cash was preoccupied about his impending meeting with Jenâs ex, which allowed all three of his buddies to kick his ass in the push-up competition Seth challenged everyone to after the swim.
It was quarter to six when they finished up. Carrying their sneakers, the foursome walked soaking wet to the parking lot, drawing several appreciative glances and a few come-hither smiles from a group of female tourists loitering near the Hotel Del.
While Seth and Jackson walked ahead, Dylan sidled up to Cash. âWhatâs going on? Youâve got the expression you wear when youâre in ass-kicking mode.â
He lowered his voice. âIâm paying a visit to Jenâs ex.â
Seth overheard and turned to stare at him. âWhat the hell you doing that for?â
âBecause Iâm tired of this asshole not getting the message. Someone needs to make it clear that Jen doesnât belong to him.â
âAnd that someone has to be you?â Seth asked, perplexed.
They reached the cars. Cash popped the trunk of his Escape and grabbed a few towels and four water bottles. He tossed the others one of each, then dried up and chugged some water. Normally he drove back to his apartment in his wet trunks, but since he was heading straight to the bar, heâd have to change in the parking lot.
âMake sure nobodyâs looking at my bare ass,â he called as he grabbed a pair of cargo pants from the duffel bag in his trunk.
He ducked behind the open driverâs door, quickly shucked the swim trunks, and yanked his pants on, commando. His black T-shirt went on next, and rather than sneakers, he grabbed a pair of clean socks, rolled them on his feet, and put on his boots.
When he turned around, he noticed the other guys rummaging through the duffels in the back of Sethâs Jeep. Trunks were stripped off, pants and shirts came on, and all three opted for shitkickers as well.
Cash frowned. âYou all live around the corner. Whyâre you getting dressed?â
âWeâre coming with you,â Dylan answered.
âDuh,â Seth said in a dry voice.
âYou think weâre going to let you confront the dude without backup?â Jackson piped up as he bent to lace his boots.
âIâm only going to talk to the guy.â
âTalkingâs for pansies,â Seth replied. âIf you want him to get the message, youâve gotta rough him up a bit.â
âIt might come to that. But you guys donât need to get involved. Itâs not your fight.â
âLike hell it isnât,â Dylan shot back. âYour fights are our fights. Besides, I wouldnât mind giving that asshole a warning of my own. Considering what happened last night, Iâm feeling invested in Jenâs safety too.â
Sethâs head swiveled from Cash to Dylan. Then he started to laugh. âSon of a bitch. You tag-teamed the LTâs sister?â
âNo,â they said in unison.
âWow. Justâ¦wow.â Seth doubled over, gripping his side as he laughed. When he finally settled down, he sent a mocking look in Cashâs direction. âYou realize you went from begging us to help you not screw her, to screwing her, to screwing her with Dylan. Whatâs next? Can me and Texas join in next time?â
Jacksonâs slow drawl joined the mix. âYeah, can we? I still havenât had the pleasure of meeting the mysterious Jen.â
Cash glared at Dylan, who seemed to regret opening this can of worms. âNo one is joining in. But if youâre serious about coming along, Iâd appreciate the backup. I havenât met this guy, so I donât know what to expect.â
âWhere we going?â Seth tossed his wet trunks in the back of the Jeep.
âThe Gaslamp Tavern.â
Seth headed for the driverâs door with his badass swagger, while Jackson walked around to the passenger side. âWeâll meet you there.â
After the Jeep sped out of the lot, Cash glowered at Dylan. âDid you have to drop that last night comment? I didnât exactly want those two knowing about it.â
âSorry. I wasnât thinking.â
âClearly. Way to blow it.â
âActually, I blew you,â Dylan said glibly.
They looked at each other for several long beats.
Then they burst out laughing.
When the laughter died down, Cash gave his friend a somber look. âWe cool? Youâre not going to get all weird around me now, are you?â
âNah, weâre cool.â
Relief fluttered through him. âGood.â
Dylan smirked. âYou were actually worried, huh? What, you thought Iâd morph into a teenage girl and never talk to you again?â
âThe thought crossed my mind.â
âAw, you love me, donât ya? You wouldâve missed your bestest friend ever.â
Cash gave him the finger. âGet in the car, jackass.â