Chapter Twenty Three

Sunday 13 September 1998

Draco

When he - my mate, Merlin, my mate - pulls away, it's like I'm breathing for the first time. Like I've lived a forever underwater amongst the fucking Grindylows, and now I'm here and my lungs work and I don't have to choke anymore. His arms wrap tightly around my waist and forehead rests against mine, still so close that I can feel his breath on my mouth.

"You okay?"

Yes, yes, more than, so happy, love him, our mate, Draco!

"I-I think so?"

He starts caressing my hip with his thumb, and something inside me snaps. Or, rather, something inside you. Because all of a sudden I'm pushed straight to the back of our mind and watching as you fall into my skin.

You're grinning, almost maniacally, before practically collapsing against him, my mate - our mate - right, our mate, burying your face into his strong chest, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck.

"Oh, hi, sweetheart." You chirp loudly.

He knows it's me, he called me sweetheart, he likes me, mate, dominant!

Harry chuckles. "And are you okay?" You nod wildly against his chest, your thoughts a blur of glee. "It's kind of hard on the ground, huh? You want to go back to the castle?"

No... there'll be people there. And I'm covered in blood, and they'll stare, and... and if I go in with Harry they'll hate me, a death eater and the chosen one, no, no... and Blaise won't know why I ran, he'll be angry even if Harry wasn't, and-

"Hey, you okay?" I realise that you're shaking, and that in my spiral of thoughts I've blocked yours out. And they're almost worse.

- take us away, I need my mate, they'll take me away from him, no, no, no-

I watch out of your unseeing eyes as Harry frowns softly, raising a hand to stroke your face gently, lovingly. "'Lexie, sweetheart, what's up?"

He's talking to you, 'Lex.

To me, mate is talking to me?

You cock your head at him to repeat the question, and he chuckles. Just that sound makes me forget why I was upset in the first place. Was I even? How could anything possibly be bad when my dominant is making that noise?

"Are you okay, you're practically shaking?"

You whimper. Why? He chuckled; what's there to whimper about?

He gave you permission to talk, not me.

Oh. Of course, I'm such an idiot, Merlin, if that had been me I would have made that mistake, he would have hated me forever, what an idiot!

"Talk to me, love, let me in. What's going on?"

Love!

"People in the castle. Don't want people, just you." He beams, and so do you, and so would I if I had control because I can't get over how gorgeous my mate is when he smiles. I want to keep him smiling forever.

Our mate is happy. It is good.

"We can be alone in the castle, 'Lexie,"

'Lexie, 'Lexie, 'Lexie, like Eli called me, he called me 'Lexie, Draco, did you hear?

I heard.

"If you want we can go up to my dorm and I'll keep you there forever, just us, my precious treasure."

Treasure?

"Let's go up to the castle. We don't have to see anyone if you don't want to. I just want to clean up and relax somewhere comfy, okay?" You nod, still in awe he called you treasure. "There you go, good boy." You immediately start chirping happily, nuzzling into him as he stands up with you in his arms.

"You want to ride on Eli's back? It's a long walk."

Eli, my mate, my dom, my Eli, yes, yes, yes.

You nod rapidly, and Harry gently puts you down and shifts.

It looks painful, but he - they? - doesn't even flinch, and all of a sudden my mate (my mate! I still can't believe it) is replaced with his wolf, even bigger now he's so close. Eli would be intimidating if it wasn't for the huge pink tongue flopping out of a wolfish grin. On your knees, you duck your head submissively, blinking up at him - up, at a wolf! - through your lashes, before he's practically barreling into you, nuzzling his massive head into your neck. You wrap your arms around him, squeezing tightly, threading your fingers through his fur. He purrs, and you shiver at the sound.

Eventually, he huffs, removing himself from your embrace - no, Eli, no - and tosses his head backwards, gesturing for you to get on. You scramble to your feet, and climb onto his back, wrapping your arms around his neck and breathing in his scent.

Smells like home.

He starts running, moving faster than I knew was possible, and I can feel the wind barely brushing your skin before it's behind us. It's almost scary actually; we're moving so fast that if we fell off Eli wouldn't be able to help; his fur is so thick he might not even realise before he's ages away, not hearing your cries for the wind whistling in his ears...

Draco, calm down. It's our mate. He'll protect us. Trust him. Okay.

After much longer than I expected, especially travelling at this speed, we reach the edge of the forest. I must have flown for longer than I expected.

Do you want control now?

Suddenly, irrationally, I'm kind of nervous. Before I was riding on instinct and adrenaline, doing what you said and what I wanted to. I didn't feel real, like my actions wouldn't have consequences. Harry wasn't Harry, he was just my mate. But now, in front of the castle, everything feels different. My mate is Harry Potter. I don't really know how mates are supposed to act, especially ones that hated each other for years previously. What if he was acting on instinct too, if he actually hates me and was only being nice because he saw me as only a sub, not as me. But, more than the fear, I desperately want to be around him, them, both Harry and Eli.

Yes please, Alex.

I feel you recede into the back of our mind, and I fall off Eli's back in a heap when I get control back, forgetting I would have to grip. Eli barks and I might be delusional, but it kind of sounds like my name. Then his front paws are either side of my shoulders and his back paws by my waist, and his massive form is on top of me, his muzzle rubbing against my cheek, neck, and shoulder.

I hear a snap, then more, and realise that he's shifting. On top of me. And all of a sudden my mate, my naked mate, is pressing my form into the ground, face buried into my scent gland as he inhales deeply. Suddenly, my fear is nothing. Everything is nothing, except for him. He is my new everything.

"How do you smell so good?" I blush furiously, of course. "Ugh, come on, we should probably go. It's already dark, I didn't even realise with how thick the trees were." Now that he mentions it, I realise it too. It was just after breakfast when... when Harry came up to the dorm, and now it's night? How long was I asleep for?

I nod, and he gets off me impossibly gracefully, then offers a hand. Now that he's standing, his nakedness is even more obvious, and I have to keep averting my gaze. I take his hand, and he pulls me too his chest, making me melt into his embrace.

"Do you want to come up to Gryffindor?" I shake my head. They'll all stare at me, laugh at me, hate more for being with their saviour, no, no, I can't. "To Slytherin, then." It's not a question, evident as he lifts me into his arms, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"I-" I quickly shut up, because he only said I could talk before.

"You may speak, Draco." And even though I realise how strange it is, having his permission to do so makes me feel euphoric.

"You don't mind coming to Slytherin?"

"Of course not. You're my mate, I'll be more than happy anywhere as long as you're beside me." A sound I didn't even know I made flies out of my mouth, somewhere between a squeal and a chirp. I hide in his shoulder and find myself overwhelmed with his scent. The scent of my mate, designed specifically to attract me. And it works more than I would have thought was possible.

He starts walking towards the castle, keeping a loose arm around my waist, and I realise he's not planning on dressing before we go inside, and I realise abruptly that I'd rather die than let anyone but me - and me, I can, right? - see my mate naked. Then I realise what I'm wearing. My cloak and trousers, but no shirt, which must have been destroyed by the chimaera. I look down at my chest for the first time and realise the blood that should be there is gone. Harry clean me when I was asleep. A rush of affection - no, stronger - swells up in me. And then... I'm standing now. I'm standing, so I'm supporting my wings instead of the ground. But the thing is they're too light. They were heavy before today, I almost struggled to lift them. In comparison to Blaise's, which got groomed by Neville as often as they could find time, mine were matted and dull. But now... I twist round and gasp. Because now they're beautiful. They should be matted with blood, and they're not, but it's not just that. They're groomed.

Harry must hear my gasp, as he stops and looks around. He sees me staring at them, and must put two and two together, as he starts to look sheepish. Sheepish - imagine!

"Oh, I hope you don't mind. When you were asleep I was trying to clean the blood off, and feathers kept falling out, so I just decided to remove the dead ones. It seemed to be helping, so I kept going. Is that okay?"

I'm choking. Merlin. I can't say anything, and I think I'm crying, and I can't tell if I'm breathing. Because I thought my mate would hate me. I thought my wings would be disgusting forever, because who in their right mind would care enough about Draco Malfoy to groom him?

Harry does. Harry did.

"I never..." I'm sobbing. "Never thought this would - thank you, thank you, I... I can't believe you did..." It's an incoherent mess, but he seems to understand. He tugs me against him, holding me as tightly as possible, pressing kisses against my cheeks.

"Is it a big deal?" He doesn't know. Of course he doesn't, oh Merlin I must look like such a mess, he must think I'm absolutely insane-

Draco. He groomed you without knowing it was grooming.

I know! That's my-

No, without knowing. He did it just because he wanted to. Not even knowing you would know. Not knowing you would care. He spent all that time - it must have been hours - taking care of you. Put in that much effort to help you. Not for the sake of it, not to get you off his back. Just because he wanted you to be comfortable.

I didn't realise how many times it was possible to fall in love with someone.

"Yes. Yes, it's a big deal."

"I'm sorry, mate mine, I didn't realise, I'm sorry if I-" I cut him off with a kiss. Even though that terrifies me, I do, because I can't stand to hear him apologise for something this good.

"A Veela can only be groomed by their mate."

"Oh."

"And when they are, it means... everything. It means devotion. Taking that much time and effort and... well you know. I never thought anyone would care about me enough to do that. It matters, Harry."

"That's the first time you've said my name."

"Oh."

"How often do I get to do it?" Get to. Get to, not have to, not like it's a chore, like it's something to look forward to.

"You only have to do it every few months or so-"

"No, not the bare minimum. The maximum. I want to do it as much as we can, please?"

I don't respond. I can't respond. I think I'm crying again. Harry's mouth is on mine and I don't know how it got there. I love him. I love him I love him I love him.

---

Eventually, we keep moving towards the castle, still so close it's hard to tell where I stop and he begins.

Wait, wait, he's still not wearing clothes! What if someone sees? You said only us could see!

You're right, I realise, and immediately I struggle to tug off my cloak in the constrictions of his arms. He looks at me curiously as I do, but doesn't protest. Eventually I rid myself of it, and place it around his shoulders. It leaves me kind of bare, but you can't really see with him holding me like this, so I don't mind.

He beams as the realisation of why I did that dawns on him, all teeth, all joy, all affection, and for the thousandth time today I feel my heart flutter. "Fuck, Dray, how much more perfect can you get?" My blush returns full force. Perfect. My mate thinks I'm perfect. Happiness rushes over me, submerging me entirely until it's all I feel and all I'll ever feel.

We walk through the castle, which is, to my relief, astonishingly empty. There are a few people here and there to stop and gape, but Harry quickly growls at them so low I can feel it vibrate in his chest, and they soon stop.

As we enter the common room, Blaise and Neville jump up, and my friends' heads snap round to look at us.

"Oh, thank Merlin, we didn't know what had happened, we thought-" Neville says, cutting himself off with a hand thrown over his mouth. Blaise wraps an arm around him.

"We assumed you had found him after we couldn't find either of you, but fuck guys, you could've put us out of our misery," Blaise continues for him. A rush of guilt floods through me. They were worried, and it was my fault. Misery, Blaise said, I hurt them and it was my fault. They'll hate me now, and I'll deserve it. Harry will hate me because I was careless and selfish and a bad, bad sub. Bad.

"Hey, sh, sh, you're alright, Draco. Hey, look at me." I take my head out of his shoulder and realise I'm crying - again, Merlin, I'm pathetic - and I can't make out his face through the tears. "Oh, love." He gently wipes away my tears from my cheeks, so softly it melt my heart. "Why are you crying, darling?" I can't speak in front of everyone, I can't, I've already been bad, what if I say something wrong, something that makes someone angry, or embarrass Harry; I'm already sobbing in front of everyone, and, and, Merlin, I can't-

"Hey, stop." My thoughts grind to a haunt. "That's it, breathe. There you go, you're so good for me, thank you." But I'm not good, I'm not. "Let's go up to your dorm, yeah?" I nod.

"But-"

"Later, Zabini."

Harry carries me up the stairs. Merlin, I must look so pathetic, but I can't help but melt into his embrace. He shuts the door behind us, and finally, blissfully, we are alone. I breathe.

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