Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 12

This meeting was a disaster. I entered Pack Ashwood’s house in a daze, allowing Cam and Theo to shepherd me along until I was sandwiched between them on their living room couch. Across from us sat my mother, who had already made several snide comments about my weight, and Ben, who looked heartbroken when I refused to eat the incredible pastries arranged on the coffee table in front of me. My pack fathers sat in front of the gorgeous marble fireplace, looking entirely at ease as they presided over us.

I had tossed and turned in bed last night, wondering what sorts of stunts my fathers would pull to separate me from my chosen pack. I had to hand it to them—Richard and Jericho were in rare form this morning. They’d already managed to insult, belittle, and threaten me on the short drive over. My well-honed dissociation skills blocked out the worst of it, but I was trembling by the time we arrived at Pack Ashwood’s house.

I sat rigidly, my eyes straight ahead as I did my best to maintain a stoic, disinterested expression. The little glimpses of the room I had allowed myself had sparked a bit of… excitement? The house was sparse but filled with historic touches. And the best part was that it smelled like them. I had expected to spend this meeting on the verge of a panic attack, but being surrounded by Cam, Theo, and Ben’s cinnamon roll-coffee-apple-pie scents kept me calm. I fought the urge to crawl into their laps and press my face to their necks to breathe them in more deeply. My omega really didn’t understand appropriate social behavior.

My fathers attempted to get a rise out of Pack Ashwood with snide critiques aimed at their home and business. The guys hid their reactions well. If I hadn’t been watching them so closely, I would have missed Cam’s narrowing eyes, Theo’s restless fingers tapping on his legs, and the way Ben’s smile faltered for a split second. Most alphas I knew wouldn’t let any insults stand, but these three kept it under control. When Jericho and Richard realized these tactics weren’t proving successful, they guided the conversation towards designation politics and, their favorite topic, insulting me.

“It’s astounding how much power we give omegas when the research is clear they don’t have the capacity to make logical decisions. It’s not their fault, of course,” Richard said, his tone patronizing, “but it means that alphas need to protect them from making their own choices.”

Jericho jumped in, “I hope you three are fully prepared to bring Josephine into your pack.”

“We’ve prepared a bedroom with all the nest supplies…” Cam started to say before Jericho cut him off.

“I’m not talking about the house. Josie needs a firm hand. She thrived at the Designation Academy. They gave her plenty of structure, monitored her food intake, and ensured she had everything she needed to succeed. Josephine is, unfortunately, a strong-willed omega. We have worked hard to raise her well and keep her in line, and it’s imperative that you continue.”

My cheeks heated as waves of humiliation washed over me, turning my scent bitter. I was used to my parents talking about me like this, but now my new pack was bearing witness. Would they believe what they were saying about me?

Theo shifted to place his coffee on the table in front of us. When he sat back, his body pressed close to mine. I didn’t know if he had done it on purpose, but his closeness was so soothing it made me want to cry.

Richard added with a smirk, “We’ve found that she needs frequent correction and punishment. You shouldn’t give her too much freedom. She likes to test and push boundaries. I hope you three can handle an omega like her, or the center will have to find a more suitable pack.”

Cam and Theo stiffened, and I could scent the burnt edge of their anger. Theo shifted even closer to me. This time, I knew his movement was intentional. Cam moved his hand to my thigh and gave it a squeeze. A lump formed in my throat at their silent comfort and support.

“Our plan is to support Josie and provide everything she needs,” Theo said coolly.

“The DC will come by to check and make sure that’s the case,” Richard said. “Terrible things happen when omegas are left to their own devices,” he added ominously, looking pointedly at my mother.

She sat demurely, showing no reaction to her bonded’s critique. Growing up, I had dreamed she would fight back against them, dreamed of seeing even the tiniest glimpse of the omega who had defied expectations to follow her heart. But she never did, content to be weak and subservient, content to do nothing while her bonded alphas abused her daughter.

“It’s a shame the newly proposed bill to give omegas’ fathers the power to select a pack hasn’t yet passed,” Jericho mused. To my surprise, he looked pointedly at Cam. “Don’t you agree, Cam? It’s always better when the fathers choose the pack.”

Cam tensed and the color drained from his face. Jericho looked delighted, as if he had expected this reaction and wanted to see how it played out.

Without thinking, I reached out and placed my hand on top of Cam’s. A spark of energy, like a warm current, ran through me. He turned to me, eyes wide in shock before his face transformed into the most heartbreakingly gorgeous smile I had ever seen. He threaded his fingers with mine and gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

Jericho’s face soured briefly before returning to its usual controlled mask. I met his gaze, feeling powerful. For the first time in years, I wasn’t alone.

Ben took the opportunity to change the subject. “Josie, you sure you don’t want anything to eat?”

My stomach cramped with hunger and my mouth watered. Ben’s hopeful expression made me want to do anything I could to please him.

Before I could answer, my mother cut in. “Josephine should not be eating any pastries with her figure.”

I curled in on myself, trying to make myself a smaller target, and withdrew my hand from Cam’s.

All three of the alphas bristled with anger, a growl slipping from Cam as he firmly threaded his fingers back into mine. Theo gently ran his hand up and down my back. Ben looked like he was going to say something, but I caught his eye and shook my head. I wanted this to be over with, and anything he said would get my parents riled up.

An uncomfortable silence descended over the room. My mother adjusted the collar of her blouse. Richard’s foot tapped impatiently against the floor. I stared at the coffee table books in front of me: Modern Cottages of the English Countryside. A Baker’s Encyclopedia of Yeast. A Passionate Knitter’s Pattern Guide.

Huh, I wonder who the knitter is.

Jericho looked at his watch. “We have a lot to do today. Josephine, behave yourself. Let’s go, Angeline.”

I kept my face blank as a surge of happiness rushed through me as Jericho and Richard stood. The guys glanced between my fathers and me, confused by their abruptness, but I was fighting the urge to smile. Jericho and Richard would never admit it, but they had lost today. Their goal had been to provoke my alphas into reacting and they had failed. I was sure it was a temporary victory—they wouldn’t give up that easily—but I would take it.

Ben stood, looking befuddled as he offered to escort my parents out. Jericho and Richard stalked out of the room, saying nothing to me, not that I expected them to. There was a moment when my mother hesitated, and I thought she would say something, but she clenched her jaw and walked out of the room. With her departure, the adrenaline pumping through my system crashed, leaving me cold and shaky.

Cam stood and I jumped, my breath hitching. His body vibrated with tension as he clenched and unclenched his hands, almost as if he were readying for a fight. He abruptly sat back down, his body angled towards me.

“Can I touch you, sweetheart?” he asked in a surprisingly tender voice.

A refusal was on my lips when I paused. I was so damn tired of being on my own. My omega took over and I found myself nodding.

I let out a startled squeak as Cam picked me up and cradled me in his lap. I sat stiffly for a moment and then his scent washed over me, releasing all the tension I was carrying. I pressed my face into his neck where his cinnamon roll scent was strongest and inhaled deeply.

“Is this okay?” Cam asked gruffly.

I nodded again, feeling settled beyond words.

“Good. Because I need to hold you,” Cam murmured, tightening his arms around me. It scared me how right it felt.

Theo leaned in beside me, brushing the hair away from my face. I wanted more, wanted them to all press their bodies against me, have their hands on me… but I shouldn’t want it, right? I should be strong enough to not need their comfort.

Ben returned to the living room. His irritated expression transformed when he saw us.

“Is it cuddle time?” he asked, throwing himself down on the couch and gathering my legs into his lap, placing his hand on my bare calf. “Josie, beautiful, I hate to say it, but I got this slight feeling that your parents might not like us.”

I snorted, a smile tugging at my lips.

“Sorry, they’re awful,” I said, hiding my face in Cam’s shoulder and taking another hit of his sweet scent.

“Not your fault,” Cam grunted.

“I’m sorry we didn’t say more to defend you,” Theo said. “We’re worried they’ll use any excuse to say we’re not proper alphas for you.”

“Should have said something anyway,” Cam grunted. “No one gets to talk to you like that.”

My cheeks heated. When was the last time someone cared about me like this?

“Do you really think they could force me to be with another pack?” I whispered. This morning I had been terrified to move in with these three unknown alphas. Now I was terrified of someone taking me away.

Cam growled. “Fuck no. We won’t let that happen.”

“You’re stuck with us, beautiful,” Ben said. “Now that they’re gone, what do you want to eat?”

“Oh, um, I’ll just have coffee. I don’t usually eat breakfast.” I could still hear my mother’s voice in my head. Alphas don’t want a fat omega.

“We’ll need to change that,” Cam muttered, to my confusion.

Ben handed me a cup of coffee, and I took it from him with shaking hands. The three of them stared at me intently. I avoided eye contact and took a sip of the coffee. A sickeningly sweet taste hit my tongue, causing me to almost choke in shock. My eyes watered from the piles of sugar I had just consumed.

Ben looked alarmed and took the coffee out of my hands so I didn’t spill it.

“Are you alright?” Theo asked, running his hand up and down my back.

I tried to keep my voice judgment-free as I cleared my throat. “What is in this?”

“I prepared it the way you said you took your coffee in the questionnaire. Is it not right?” Ben asked.

Oh. My. God. The questionnaire. With the stress of the interviews, I had completely forgotten the questionnaire answers I gave in my tipsy state. I could practically picture the glee on Clementine’s face when I told her about this. The ridiculousness of the situation overtook me, and an unbidden giggle bubbled out of my chest.

“What is so funny?” Theo asked with a smile.

I laughed harder. Now that I’d started, I couldn’t seem to stop.

Theo picked up the coffee and took a sip before grimacing. “What the fuck is this?”

“Seven creams, seven sugars, and a shot of caramel sauce,” Ben listed defensively.

Theo started laughing, and I thought it might be the best sound I had ever heard. Cam still looked bewildered, but I could feel him growing hard underneath me. I knew it was an involuntary reaction to my scent filling the room, but part of me wanted to pretend it was because he was attracted to me.

“Hmm, I think our girl may have lied to us,” Theo said, wrapping my hair around his hand and pulling lightly so my face turned towards him. “Did you lie to us, angel?”

“Maybe,” I said, feeling playful. He called me our girl. My inner omega jumped with happiness. The feeling evaporated instantly when Ben looked down at the coffee like it had insulted him.

“Are you mad?” I whispered, freezing. Was this the moment they turned on me? Was my prank too much for them?

Ben looked up, shocked. “What? No! But now I am wondering what else is a lie on your questionnaire.” He smiled warmly and squeezed my leg.

I relaxed into his touch. Maybe Ben liked me being playful with him? A lifetime of having to second guess all my actions out of concern for others’ responses had left me unsure.

“I guess you’ll just have to find out,” I said softly.

Ben grinned. “How do you actually take your coffee?”

“One cream, two sugars.”

Theo and Cam snorted.

Cam shifted me closer to him on his lap, and I could still feel his rather large hardness under me. “How’re you feeling about being here?” he asked, pressing his face into my hair.

God, being pressed against the three of them made me want to purr. I clenched down on the urge before I let a purr slip out. Growing up, I was taught it was something an omega should only do for a bonded partner. I had tried it once when I was younger, and my mother’s eyes had flashed with rage before she slapped me hard across the face. I never heard her purr for Richard or Jericho, but then again, why would she? There was no affection between them.

I realized Cam was waiting for an answer. I took a deep breath. “It’s… just a lot to take in. Thanks for being so nice to me.”

Cam just grunted in response.

Ben handed me a new cup of coffee. As I reached out to take it, the sleeve of the horrid dress my mother had forced me to wear this morning shifted back, revealing the finger-shaped bruises left by Pack Madden. Before I could pull my sleeve down, a vicious growl erupted from Cam’s chest.

“How the fuck did you get those bruises?” he asked, gripping my wrist in a tender hold that didn’t match the rage in his voice.

I flinched at his anger, even though I knew it wasn’t aimed at me.

“It’s nothing,” I said, tugging my sleeve back down.

“It’s not nothing,” Cam said fiercely.

“Did one of your fathers do this?” Theo asked, his voice almost too calm.

“Oh no. Um, it was the other pack I interviewed with yesterday. I cut the interview short, and they tried to stop me from leaving.”

“What’s the pack’s name?” Theo asked, the rage in his scent betraying his tone.

“It’s just some bruises. It’s okay,” I said. My survival instinct was screaming at me—don’t make a big deal of it, downplay your needs, placate the alphas.

Cam shook beneath me, and Ben couldn’t tear his eyes away from my wrist.

“It’s our job to protect you. If someone hurts you, we need to know,” Cam said through gritted teeth.

The energy in the room crackled, the tension acting as a warning sign to my system. The warmth of their bodies, their touches, turned suffocating. I was too vulnerable here. I pushed myself out of Cam’s embrace—ignoring how his grunt of displeasure pulled at my heartstrings—and stood up.

I tugged the dress again, trying to ignore the way the fabric pinched my rolls of skin, and looked down at the three of them. Their scents were bitter with distress, but I couldn’t sense any anger. That gave me the confidence to take a deep breath and launch into the speech I had practiced all night.

“I know your alpha instincts are telling you to protect me, but you shouldn’t feel obligated. I know you don’t really want an omega and this was just a favor for Amirah. I really appreciate you doing the interview. You saved me from a really terrible pack. But I get it if you don’t really want me here. If you let me stay, I promise I’ll be really quiet and not bother you. I can also clean and do other things around the house.” My words came faster, a far cry from the measured, collected way I had delivered them in my mirror.

The three alphas froze. The silence stretched on uncomfortably. Cam broke it with a growl.

“You’re our mate,” he said, his voice deep and rough. “We’ll do anything for you and want you here more than anything. I’m so fucking grateful we were asked to do the interview because I would murder any other pack that got close to you.”

My eyes had been fixated on the patterned rug under my feet, but at his words, they shot up, meeting his gaze. My heart pounded a million beats a minute, and a delicious warmth ran through me, hopefulness that what he was saying was true. But then, an icy wave of disbelief covered it. They’re messing with you, getting your hopes up so they can betray you.

“Mates?” I croaked out. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t feel it?” Ben asked gently. “We knew from the moment you walked in the room that you were ours.”

Theo nodded his agreement. Hazy numbness was washing over my body and my legs trembled. I clenched my hands again, pressing my fingernails into my palms just to feel something. I had always dreamed of finding my fated mates, always hoped that someday someone would want me, love me. This was too good to be true. Life had taught me that good things would always be ripped from me.

Theo reached out and unfurled my fists, soothing the crescent-shaped marks I’d pressed into my hands.

“But I thought that never happened. Aren’t fated mates a myth?” I whispered.

“The Designation Government has made it seem that way,” Theo said gently, “but we know quite a few packs that bonded with their mate. We think it’s more common than the government wants us to believe because they can be more in control of who matches with a pack.”

“But how do you know? You could be wrong. You don’t even know me,” I said, my words coming out high-pitched and strangled.

“None of us have any doubts,” Ben said. “Your scent does things to me I’ve never felt before. I already know you’re so kind, strong, and precious. You already feel like the center of our pack.”

Ben gently caressed the bruised spot on my wrist before dropping his hand again. He looked so genuine, so hopeful. What if… what if this was real? But then, why didn’t I feel it? A heaviness settled in my stomach. Maybe my parents had been right all along. I was defective. I couldn’t even tell if these alphas were my mates.

“Then why don’t I feel the same thing?” I asked, panicked.

Ben let out a distressed noise.

“We think there’s a good chance that being on suppressants might temporarily suppress your omega from recognizing us as mates,” Theo said, continuing to rub my hand soothingly.

I stiffened. Fuck. They knew I was on suppressants. See, now they can blackmail you. Can’t trust them. I shifted back and forth and tried to keep my voice from shaking.

“What makes you think I’m on suppressants?”

The three of them exchanged a look before Ben answered me.

“We were curious because of your age, and then Amirah confirmed it,” he said before continuing quickly. “She was just trying to be helpful so we could know how to best support you. We’re not upset about it, gorgeous. Not at all. You deserve to make decisions about your own body.” He tentatively took my hand. I threaded my fingers through his, and his responding smile looked like I had just given him a gift.

The shaking in my legs became more pronounced as I struggled to keep myself upright.

“Will you sit back down, sweetheart?” Cam asked. As soon as I nodded, he reached out and pulled me back onto his lap. I softened, enveloped in his embrace.

“You might not recognize us as mates yet, but I wonder if you feel more comfortable around us than other alphas you’ve been around?” Theo asked.

I shifted so I could see his face, unconsciously leaning towards him so I could breathe in more of his coffee scent.

“Yeah, I do,” I responded hesitantly.

“Of course you do, baby girl. We would never hurt you,” Cam said, pulling me closer.

Ben picked up a cheese Danish and held it up to my mouth. I took a bite without thinking, and the guys’ scents intensified with pleasure. That was the best Danish I had ever tasted. I wiggled happily as I took another bite from Ben. Cam grunted, tightening his hold on me, his cock rubbing against my thigh.

“The fact that you feel more comfortable around us is probably your omega recognizing us as mates, at least to some extent,” Theo said, running his hand through my hair. “I couldn’t scent you at Trader Joe’s, but I was drawn to you from the moment I followed you into the store.”

I scrunched my nose. “Your scent was on me when I woke up at the hospital, but I don’t really remember anything that happened.”

“You collapsed in one of the aisles and I held you until the paramedics came. It destroyed me to let you go. If I had known you were our mate, I wouldn’t have been able to. I had no idea the omega we were meeting was you.”

Was the reason I had found his scent so comforting in the hospital because we were mates? Part of me recognized what they were saying made sense. I traced little patterns on Cam’s arm, thinking through everything as the quiet fell soothingly around us.

Suddenly, I jolted. If we were mates, they might expect us to bond right away.

“I’m not ready to be bonded yet,” I blurted out.

Cam pressed a tender kiss to my temple. “Of course. There’s no rush. We’re going to court you. Give you everything you deserve. You’ll learn that we’ll do anything to make you happy.”

I melted back into his embrace. Fuck, it was like Cam was an omega whisperer.

“You don’t have to get me anything,” I said.

My inner omega almost whined. She wanted all the courting gifts she could get her greedy hands on. Traditionally, alphas courted an omega for weeks before she joined their pack, and they would usually live together for a while before bonding. Once they marked me, we would be forever connected, able to sense each other’s emotions.

“Amirah said that your heat is coming on in the next day or two, and I know it’s fast. We need to know how to make you the most comfortable during this process,” Theo said.

Cam continued, “We’ll also need to make a list of all the things you want during your heat—your favorite snacks and drinks, anything else you need for your nest, safe words and preferences during sex.”

My chest tightened and my cheeks heated. Of course, they’re expecting to have sex with you during your heat, you idiot. I needed to tell them my plan… but what if it made them angry? Before I chickened out, I forced myself to just say it.

“I don’t want to have sex.”