Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 20

I felt like someone had reached into my body and ripped my insides out.

Please, just kill me.

“Can’t do that, baby girl.”

I started. Had I said that out loud? Where was I? My eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds as I opened them. The room was almost pitch black, the darkness only broken by flickering candles. I realized the warmth surrounding my limbs was water. I was in the world’s largest bathtub, my head resting on Cam’s naked chest. Sitting next to us outside the tub were Theo and Ben.

“I keep waking up with you holding me,” I mumbled.

“Didn’t want you to drown, sweetheart. Also, don’t want to let you go,” Cam responded, his lips right by my ear, making me shiver.

“Josie, love, we just talked to the doctor and she’s on the way over to give you suppressants,” Theo said. His hand gripped the edge of the bathtub, his knuckles white.

“No, I don’t want the doctor. He hurts me,” I whined, panic washing through my body and intensifying the cramps even more.

“What doctor hurt you?” Cam asked angrily.

“At the DA,” I whispered. Cam’s growl vibrated through my body.

Theo reached out and cupped my face with his hand. “It’s not a doctor from the DA. This is the doctor Sam knows, remember? And she’s a woman.”

I heard Theo speaking, but the words weren’t registering. My core clenched, feeling painfully empty. Their scents were so delicious, and my hormones screamed at me to just sit on a dick to make the pain disappear. I didn’t feel like myself and was scared of what I would say aloud. Memories of that doctor’s hands on me flooded my mind. Can’t think his name. That will make it real. But all I could feel were hands on me and alpha scents surrounding me. Unsafe, can’t let anyone close.

“Don’t touch me,” I whimpered, jerking away from Theo’s touch and pushing against Cam’s body. I moved to the opposite side of the bathtub.

Cam reached out towards me, and in that moment, his arms belonged to someone else. To the alphas I never let myself think about. The ones who had haunted my dreams for years. I cried out and pressed my back against the tub, splashing water onto the floor. Cam’s expression was stricken as he got out of the tub.

Being alone in the bathtub didn’t ease my panic. Even though I’d wanted to be alone, I felt rejected. Now all I wanted was for my alphas to hold me close. I curled into a ball, the water coming up to my shoulders, confused and overwhelmed.

“The doctor just pulled up, love,” Theo said gently, his voice breaking through my panicked fog. “Is it alright if I bring her up? If she gets here and you want her to leave, just say so.”

“Wait, the doctor is a woman?” I asked, startled. Only male alphas could be doctors.

“Yes, I spoke to her. She’s coming here to help you.” He kept his sentences short as if he knew I was floating in and out of lucidity.

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed.

“Josie, this is Dr. Angela Walker. She wants to talk with you for a minute,” Theo said a few moments later. “I’m going to turn on a lamp.”

Standing in the doorway was a woman who looked to be in her mid-thirties with straight black hair, golden skin, and a matching set of hot pink loungewear.

“Are you sure she’s a doctor?” I mumbled, barely able to keep my eyes open.

“Hi, Josie. Yes, I trained in Sol as a doctor before moving here. Please call me Angie. I’ve been out of town and just got back, which is why I’m dressed like this,” she said, gesturing at her outfit. “One of my old colleagues knows your friend Sam, and I’ve been working with Ms. Raven through the Alliance for quite some time. I believe all omegas deserve to make their own choices about their bodies. I want to talk for a few minutes to see how I can best help you.”

Another cramp surged through my body and I did my best to hold in my scream. My alphas moved in closer as if they could do something to protect me from the pain. I finally processed what the doctor had said and sat up a bit with a jolt.

“Did you say… your pack?”

“Yes, I’m an omega and I have a pack of two alphas. We live down the street. One of my alphas is waiting downstairs,” Angie said, sitting down next to the tub.

“Your alphas let you be a doctor?” I whispered, filled with awe at this no-nonsense omega sitting in front of me.

Angie smirked. “They know better than to stop me from doing what I want. They’re very supportive. Omegas are just as capable as any other designation and it’s time the world caught up. Now, I can see you’re in a lot of pain. I haven’t had a chance to fully review your chart, but I understand this is your first heat and you’ve been on suppressants for the past year.”

“Yeah. I ran out a few days ago.”

“When did your heat start?”

“Last night, just after midnight,” Ben responded.

Angie nodded. “I was able to get injectable suppressants, which are stronger than the oral variety. This shot will last three months and will shorten your heat and make it more manageable to get through without being knotted.”

“How much will it shorten and what does manageable mean?” Cam gritted out. I vaguely noted that he was standing further away, closer to the door.

“It’s hard to tell, but suppressants usually stop a heat within two days. You’ll still have cramping, but nothing that will cause permanent damage or require medical care. I also have pain medication that I plan to inject to help with the cramps you’re experiencing since I couldn’t get here earlier. I can also give you a birth control injection.”

I nodded, wondering what the guys thought about babies. Because I was a firm no.

“What else can we do to help her the next couple of days?” Theo asked.

“Baths are great if she feels up to it. She probably won’t want to eat much, so make sure to give her lots of small snacks and plenty of water. Nesting is still critical. Have you been able to make a nest yet, Josie?”

“No,” I whispered. “Don’t know how.” What if everyone had been right that I was defective? What if I made a nest incorrectly? Then my alphas would know something was wrong with me and kick me out. I whimpered at the thought.

“There’s no right or wrong way to make a nest,” Angie said gently. “Your omega will let you know what she likes and what makes her feel safe. Trust her to guide you. I also wanted to mention that even without being knotted, physical touch from alphas can be very soothing. It’s not a requirement if you don’t feel comfortable. Remember, you are in control.”

Angie spoke with such authority I almost believed her.

“I like them touching me,” I slurred out.

“Why is she talking like that?” Ben said, a hint of panic in his voice.

“Omegas reach a point in our heats where we’re not quite lucid. Let’s get her the injections now before she’s too far gone. These do need to be injected into your buttocks, so I’ll need you to get out of the tub.”

I dreaded having to move. Angie grasped my forearm to help me keep my balance, my other hand resting on Ben’s shoulder. Theo was at my side immediately with a huge towel and helped pull me out of the tub. Cam was still standing near the doorway and I frowned, wondering why he was so far away.

Angie was quick with the injections, but they still burned, and I clung to Theo for support. Once it was over, Theo gently guided me onto a stool and I leaned on Ben.

“I need a moment alone with Josie,” Angie said firmly. Ben growled, the vibration rocking through my chest and sending a burst of slick into my cold, wet underwear. “This is non-negotiable—it will just be a few minutes,” she continued, not remotely deterred by the three territorial alphas.

“It’s okay,” I whispered, patting Ben on the arm. “I’ll talk with her.”

After a long hesitation, Theo spoke. “We will be right outside the door, love.” He caressed my face and reluctantly walked out of the room, taking Ben and Cam with him.

Once they were gone, Angie lowered herself to the floor so our faces were level. “Josie, I’m sure this has been completely overwhelming, and I’m so sorry you didn’t get the care you needed earlier. You are my patient now, and I will ensure you get through this heat as comfortably as possible.”

“I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

“You are absolutely not. Us omegas have to stick together, right?” she said with a smile. “I know Amirah helped set you up with this pack. Do you feel safe with them? If not, we can send someone to stay here with you if you feel you need protection.”

“I… I feel safe. Or safe enough. I just feel like I’m such a burden to them and everyone.” I swiped at the tears falling down my cheek.

“You are not burdening anyone. You have people who care about you and want to make sure you’re okay. I can say with confidence that you are certainly not a burden to these alphas.” Her lips quirked into a smile.

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused.

“Those three overprotective alphas out there are clearly completely taken with you. Being an omega is hard, but we have great instincts. So, Josie, what are your instincts telling you?”

“They feel safe to be around,” I whispered, still convinced a reality TV show host was going to burst out of the walls at any moment to tell me I’d been pranked and none of this was real.

“Have you felt unsafe around alphas before?” she asked gently.

“Most alphas are unsafe.”

“I’m so sorry that’s been your experience. It shouldn’t be that way. All you need to focus on right now is getting through the next couple of days comfortably and safely.”

I was nervous about revealing too much to Angie, but this might be my only opportunity. “I have a question.”

She nodded reassuringly.

“They told me we’re mates, but I can’t feel it. I mean, I felt comfortable around them pretty much from the start and I’m attracted to them.” I felt like my face was on fire. Why was this so hard to talk about? “But I’m not sure what else I’m supposed to be feeling.”

“There’s no test we can run to see if you’re mates. We do know that taking suppressants will suppress some of that instinctual reaction. That blocking effect will wear off after you stop suppressant use. Unfortunately, there’s no way for you to know for sure until then.”

I appreciated her straightforward answer. The knot in my chest loosened at the confirmation that the guys hadn’t lied to me about suppressants blocking my ability to recognize them as mates.

Angie gently placed her hand on mine, holding my gaze for a few long moments. “I know what it’s like to be hurt by alphas and how scary it is to let go and trust. Those three out there have to earn your trust. I also know how easy it is to hold yourself back from something good out of fear… or because you don’t think you deserve it. You deserve goodness, Josie. I hope you’ll let yourself have it.”

My throat tightened. I couldn’t believe how kind this stranger was being.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Remember, I live right around the corner. You have my number. Reach out if you need anything. I’ll call tomorrow to check in on you and see how you’re doing.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“But I’m going to. You’re not alone in this, Josie. I’m part of your team now.”

“Okay,” I said, smiling. I still wasn’t sure this magical take-charge omega wasn’t a figment of my imagination, but it was safe to say I was obsessed.

“Alright, I’m sure those alphas are about to break down the door. Let’s bring them back in so they can take care of you, and I can return to my grumpy alpha, who is currently very irritated I made him stay downstairs.”

I giggled as Angie opened the bathroom door. Ben ran in and gathered me in his arms. I heard Angie say the medication would make me tired and to let me sleep as much as possible. My eyes closed of their own volition, and the last thing I remember was inhaling Ben’s apple pie scent before losing consciousness.