Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 22

Cam’s hand trailed up and down my thigh, the movement slow and unhurried. I let out a happy sigh and pressed my nose to his neck, loving the feel of his bare skin against mine. I didn’t see any reason for my alphas to wear shirts. Or pants. I hadn’t seen them without underwear, but honestly, that could probably go too, right?

I let out a little giggle, noticing how much more settled I was compared to the last time I woke. The nest felt cozy and secure, and I felt calm and cared for with my alphas pressed against me.

Not my alphas.

I tried to remind myself that they weren’t mine, but the words felt hollow.

Cam noticed I was awake and tugged me even closer, gripping my thigh firmly in a move that made me feel warm and tingly. Ben grumbled and scooted closer, pressing himself to my side and curling one hand around my waist.

“You have to learn to share,” Ben said, his tone adorably sleepy.

“I think fucking not,” Cam murmured into my ear. I shivered, suppressing the urge to grind against him as heat pooled in my core.

“Cranky cinnamon roll,” I mumbled to Cam.

“Did you just call him a cranky cinnamon roll?” a sleepy Theo asked, amusement in his voice.

“Mmm, yeah,” I said, still not opening my eyes.

“What does that mean?” a disgruntled Cam asked.

“You smell like a warm cinnamon roll. So yummy and sweet, just like you.”

Ben and Theo burst out laughing, but when I cracked my eyes open, Cam smiled as he tucked me in close against him.

“Only sweet for you,” he murmured before flipping off his brothers.

“What do I smell like to you?” Ben asked, nuzzling my neck.

“Not telling. You made fun of Cam’s scent.”

“Nooo, you wouldn’t punish me like that, would you, precious? I want to know,” Ben whined.

I smiled into Cam’s chest. “You’ll just have to be patient.”

Ben let out a long-suffering sigh that made me freeze.

How could you say no to an alpha?

Not safe.

Not safe.

My omega cringed, waiting for the punishment to come.

“Wait, no, it’s okay. I’ll tell you if you want to know, don’t be mad,” I whispered.

A long silence followed, and my heart beat faster.

“Precious, I was just playing around with you,” Ben finally said, his voice soft. “Just teasing. I’m not… I’m not angry or anything.”

My scent turned bitter as I lay perfectly still on Cam, waiting to see if Ben would change his mind and lash out.

“Will you tell me my scent if I get you food?” Theo asked.

The subject change was abrupt enough that I looked at him. Theo’s eyes were narrowed with concern, but his smile was teasing.

“Then Ben will be the only one who doesn’t know.” He winked at me.

“Seems a little mean,” I said, but the tightness in my chest was fading. I said no, and nothing terrible happened.

“Nah,” Cam said. “It’s what he deserves for laughing at me.”

“Theo laughed too,” Ben exclaimed indignantly.

“Yeah, but you’re the one who needs to learn to be patient,” Theo said, his eyes sparkling. He leaned forward and kissed me on the nose.

“Shouldn’t you smell like tea?” I asked. “It’s more British. But you smell like coffee.”

Theo grinned. “Coffee?”

“Mmm, like really good coffee on the best cozy days,” I sighed.

Theo leaned in to kiss me, his smile evident against my lips.

“I’ll get you some coffee, angel,” he murmured as he kissed down my jaw. “What else do you want to eat?”

“I’m not really hungry.” I didn’t want food. I wanted more of this. More of my alphas touching me, kissing me.

“You need to eat to keep your strength up. I’ll bring different snacks and you can choose,” Theo said, giving me a final kiss on the forehead and leaving the room before I could argue.

Ben’s hand caressed the small of my back, and I automatically stiffened before forcing myself to relax. I knew Ben wouldn’t hurt me, but the fear of retribution was ingrained in me.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, his voice unusually solemn.

I turned my head to face him. He smiled tightly before reaching out and brushing my hair out of my face. The smooth glide of his hand continued as he threaded his fingers through my hair, massaging my scalp. My shoulders softened as the minutes passed in silence.

“We like to tease each other, but I promise it’s not serious. I would never lash out at you, never get angry at you for telling me no.” Ben’s voice was quiet. Soothing. “It’s really important to me that you know that,” he added.

“It’s going to take a little while… for me to believe that. It hasn’t been my experience with alphas,” I whispered.

Cam growled, but the vibrations somehow settled me.

“Fuckers deserve to die,” he grunted.

“You can tease me anytime you want,” Ben said as he stilled his hand on my neck, then leaned forward until his face was inches from mine. “Now that we’ve gotten that settled, you’re going to tell me what my scent is, right?”

“Insufferable,” Cam muttered, taking me with him as he rolled onto his side so his back was to Ben.

Ben’s head popped up over Cam’s shoulder, his face so indignant I couldn’t help but giggle. His face broke out in a huge smile upon hearing my laugh.

“Prettiest fucking sound in the world,” Cam said, a tender expression on his face. He leaned in for a gentle kiss.

I tried to ignore the obvious hardness pressed against my stomach and the way it made my vagina clench as another wave of slick drenched my underwear. Good grief, this is so obnoxious. I needed some sort of absorbent underwear if this kept happening. At least Ben and Cam weren’t drawing attention to it, even though I knew my scent was filling the room.

Before I could do something embarrassing like grind myself against Cam, Theo returned with one of those fancy breakfast-in-bed trays. Cam’s gaze was heated as if he knew what I’d been thinking, but he didn’t push it as he helped me sit up against the headboard.

“Sorry we messed up the nest,” he said, referring to the tangle of blankets and pillows after our nap.

“It’s okay,” I said as Theo placed the tray over my lap. I meant it. The nest was saturated with their scents, which my omega felt was the most important part. I could rearrange the blankets later.

I absentmindedly ate some cheese and crackers. I realized I hadn’t seen any bond marks on the guys. Alphas who formed a pack could choose to bond with each other even before they found their omega. Many alphas waited, and some alphas chose to never bond with each other. These guys were so close and had been a pack for so long that I was surprised they hadn’t bonded.

“Why aren’t you guys bonded?” I asked as Ben stole a piece of chocolate from my tray.

Theo blushed and bit his lip. The whole lip-biting thing almost succeeded in distracting me from his chagrined expression.

“What?” I asked when none of them answered my question.

“Who says we’re not bonded?” Cam asked.

I raised my eyebrows. “Where are your bond marks, then?”

Ben groaned, covering his face with his arm. “It’s too early for this story.”

I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s three o’clock in the afternoon.”

“Well then, I’m way too sober for this story,” Ben grumbled, trying to shove Cam to the side so he could get closer to me. Cam was not having it and pushed him so hard he almost toppled out of bed.

I scowled at Cam’s antics, but he just smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

“That was cold, brother. Cold,” Ben growled, popping back up in a seated position.

“I don’t know why you’re acting embarrassed,” Theo said. “It was your fucking idea.”

“True,” Ben said, a mischievous glint in his eye. He pulled my legs onto his lap and started massaging my calves. “But I also distinctly remember being absolutely wasted, and you two went along with it.”

Theo rolled his eyes and put his arm around me. “We bonded once we left North Woods. One night, we got really drunk and just went for it. Maybe not the smartest decision in hindsight, but we were sad and alone and, I don’t know, guess we wanted the emotional connection.” He pressed his face into my hair and my heart twinged at how vulnerable he sounded.

I wanted to ask more questions about why they left their community, but I held back. I could tell it was a tender subject, and they hadn’t pushed me to share about my past. I hoped they would tell me when they were ready.

“So, where are your bites?” I asked, studying their bare chests as if the marks would pop out at me. Also, it was an excuse to stare at their bare chests.

“Remember that we were drunk. And Ben thought it was fucking hilarious,” Cam grunted.

“What can I say? I wanted to be a pain in their asses for life,” Ben said with a wide grin.

It took me a minute to register his words. “You bit each other in… the butt?” I asked. Usually, bond marks were placed on the neck or in a similarly visible location.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it,” Ben teased.

“Fine, maybe I will,” I flirted back.

I stilled, realizing what I had said. We hadn’t had a conversation yet about bonding. I was scared to let myself think about what it would be like to be connected to my alphas’ emotions in such an intimate way. I’d never thought I would be good enough for a pack like this.

Ben smoothed over my mini internal freakout with a sweet kiss on my forehead.

“Just putting it out there that I would like my next bond mark to be highly visible where everyone can see it,” he said, lips brushing against my ear.

I shivered, eyeing his neck as I imagined myself sinking in my teeth, marking him forever. The thought sparked something low in my belly.

Cam grunted. “The healing process was a bitch.”

A sharp laugh burst out of me as I realized what he was alluding to. Bond marks needed to be tended to by licking the bite for several days. Imagining the three alphas, stone-cold sober, having to drop their pants for each other and lick each other’s ass cheeks was too fucking much. My laughter increased until tears were streaming down my face. Theo moved the tray out of the way and then tackled me.

“You think that’s funny?” he growled, his eyes bright.

I quickly schooled my face into a not-even remotely convincing serious expression. “No, not at all. Nothing funny about this. Nope.”

“Brat,” Cam said, a smile stretching across his face.

“You need to eat more,” Ben said, snagging a bowl of strawberries for me. I tried to eat a few, but my cramps returned and I finally pushed them away.

“You full?” Cam asked, his brows furrowed as he stared at the almost untouched tray of food.

“My stomach hurts,” I said. “I just want to lie down.”

They didn’t look happy but didn’t push things further. Cam settled me back on his chest, and I absentmindedly traced the outline of his abstract tattoos. My body felt worn out, but I wasn’t sleepy anymore. A little spark of curiosity grew. I hadn’t seen any evidence that the guys were… intimate with each other. But if they had bitten each other in the butt, maybe they were?

“I can hear you thinking way too hard about something,” Cam said.

I pushed myself up on my forearms. Cam’s eyes were closed and he wore a blissed-out, relaxed expression. He gave my leg a little squeeze as if to encourage me to say what was on my mind.

I opened my mouth but then hesitated.

“You can ask us anything, love,” Theo said, running his hand down my arm.

My cheeks grew hot.

“Now I fucking have to know,” Cam said, taking in my blush.

I cleared my throat. “So have you all ever… you know?”

“Ever what?” Ben asked, his face buried in the blankets.

“Have you ever been together together?” I blurted out before hiding my face in the crook of Cam’s neck. His chest shook with laughter.

Theo cleared his throat. “Are you still hungry? You need more food.” He moved as if to leave again.

“Wait, no, you don’t get to change the subject,” I squealed, throwing myself across Theo’s body to prevent him from getting up. Now that I’d asked, I needed to know.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Theo said, but his blushing cheeks suggested otherwise.

I turned my gaze to Ben, who was being surprisingly quiet. “Ben,” I purred, “You’re going to tell me, right? You wouldn’t hide something from me.”

Ben burst out laughing. “Are you trying to play me, precious? Because it’s totally working. I’ll tell you if you give me a kiss.”

Suddenly, the heat I’d been keeping at bay flooded me full force. I crawled to Ben and straddled him, shocking even myself with my boldness. His gaze was heated as I lowered my face to his, reveling in the feel of his lips brushing against mine. Ben wrapped a hand around my neck, deepening the kiss. His hold on me was light, always giving me the choice to pull back.

I allowed myself to get lost in the kiss, letting out a whine as he nipped my bottom lip. His hardness rocked against me and I shivered, my thighs warm and wet with slick.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Theo groaned out.

Oops. I forgot Cam and Theo were literally on the bed with us. I pulled back, nervous they would be jealous, but all I saw were their lust-filled gazes. My eyes dragged down their bodies to the large bulges in their sweatpants.

Ben gripped my chin and forced my gaze back to him.

“Do you want to come, precious?”

I nodded with a little whimper. The pain wasn’t nearly as intense as yesterday, but the desire was still there—the need to have their hands on me, to feel that same pleasure I had with Cam.

Ben’s hands traced my hip and side, moving down to squeeze my butt. Suddenly, he flipped us so I was underneath him. I let out a surprised cry that turned into a moan as he moved his hand to my mound, gently pressing through my clothes.

“Can I touch you here?”

I gasped out a yes, craving his touch. He slipped his hand under my clothes, parting me to run his fingers through my wet slit and circle my clit.

I felt like I was on fire.

Cam pressed against my side, kissing my face and breathing deeply. “You smell fucking edible, baby girl. I bet you’re all warm and wet for Ben. Are you going to come on his fingers?”

I gasped and writhed, the dirty talk almost as hot as what Ben was doing. My legs trembled and my skin flushed.

I wanted more, wanted everything.

Ben continued circling my clit, building intense pleasure that had me arching off the bed. Then Theo’s hand was on my thigh, pressing me to the bed. I didn’t know when he had moved to my other side, but I was glad he did—I wanted all their hands on me.

My orgasm built. I noticed the same feeling as last time—as if I were about to jump off a precipice into the unknown. Then Ben pressed the tip of his finger into my entrance and I flinched, the pleasure inside me turning icy cold.

Ben noticed and paused, gently pulling his finger out. “You don’t want that, gorgeous? That’s okay, I won’t, promise.”

Chills ran through me, a cold sweat breaking out over my skin as blurry flashes of memory of Glen and Dr. Bishop standing over me, fingers inside me, flickered before my eyes. Suddenly I felt like I was gagging on the scents of rotten fruit and burnt plastic. I rolled into a protective ball, my eyes closed shut. Logically, I knew I was in a warm bed with three caring alphas, but I could almost feel the cold steel of the exam table underneath me, the smell of antiseptic cutting through Cam, Ben, and Theo’s scents. Scents that had turned bitter in the last few moments.

I forced myself to open my eyes. I needed to be prepared for their anger.

You’re defective, unlovable.

But all I saw was their caring concern. Ben looked devastated—shoulders shaking with emotion like all he wanted to do was scoop me into his arms.

“I’m so sorry,” he said softly. He was sitting up now, and all three of them had pulled back to give me space.

I took a few deep breaths, the panic that had gripped me so instantly loosening its hold. I didn’t know what to say, so I settled for holding my hand to Ben. I knew he hadn’t meant to trigger me and I wanted to put a smile back on his face, to bring back the playful energy we’d had just minutes ago. I also felt strangely sad at the loss of their touch. They were being thoughtful by giving me space, but my omega whined at their withdrawal, the feeling of rejection rolling through me.

Ben gently placed his hand in mine. “Please don’t cry,” he said. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks and it pissed me off. I was surrounded by the three sweetest, hottest, tastiest alphas I had ever met. I wasn’t going to let my abusers take away this experience.

I wiped my tears. “I want to keep going.” My voice was a little shaky, but I was confident in a way I hadn’t felt in years.

“Sweetheart,” Cam said with all the tenderness in the world. I had a feeling he was holding himself back from gathering me in his arms. But I didn’t want gentle cuddles right now. I wanted my second-ever orgasm.

“No, I want to keep going,” I repeated, meeting Ben’s gaze. This time, my voice sounded strong and sure. “I got triggered by having your finger… umm… you know. Just not ready for that yet.” My voice petered off.

Why couldn’t I be as confident as Poppy when talking about sex? During one of our self-defense classes, she had given us a graphic play-by-play of heat sex with all five of her alphas. Westin and I blushed so hard I thought we might both spontaneously combust.

“You want to continue?” Ben asked quietly.

“Yes, please,” I said. If I was ever going to get close to these alphas, I needed to tell them what I wanted. “Oh, um, only if you want to,” I added hastily.

Ben’s lips twitched, and a smile slowly broke across his face. “Yes, please, beautiful.”

The alphas seemed even more nervous than I was as they slowly lay down beside me, Ben pressed tightly to my side. I tensed, unsure if he would jump right back to where we left off. Instead, he pulled me in for a kiss. It was unhurried, his soft lips coaxing mine open and soothing the ragged edges of my anxiety. Ben moved his kisses down my body, his mouth hot against my skin.

Theo caressed my face, leaning towards me with a question in his eye. I closed the space between us, our lips connecting in the sweetest kiss. Theo had an awed smile on his face as he pulled away. He was the shyest of the three, which bolstered my confidence. I threaded my fingers through his hair and pulled him in for another kiss as Ben slipped his hand under my underwear. A little jolt of anxiety ran through me until Cam stroked his hand down my hip.

“Good girl,” he said. “So brave for us, so beautiful. Just relax, sweetheart, and let Ben make you feel good.”

My orgasm built slowly, Ben’s fingers circling my clit in a steady rhythm. I panted, arching off the bed as my pleasure built. I forgot about cold tables and alpha smells that made my stomach turn as I let myself get lost in their touch, building until my orgasm crested over me in a gentle freefall. Ben’s fingers slowed, his hand cupping my mound and pressing steadily as little waves of pleasure continued to roll through me.

Ben removed his hand and gathered me up in his arms.

“Thanks for trusting me, precious,” he said, kissing me softly.

I pressed closer, hoping my touch conveyed my gratitude even as words caught in my throat. Cam and Theo curled around me until I was surrounded by their comforting warmth. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, but a heavy blanket of peace fell over me. I had never imagined I could be this comfortable with my alphas. A little jolt of realization shot through me.

They were mine.