Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 37

Theo gripped my hand tightly as he led me inside. The soft light from the entryway lamp cast a glow over the room. I breathed in the scents of all my alphas, pleased with how my sugary vanilla had become intertwined with theirs.

The soft click of the lock sliding into place sent a little jolt through me. I turned towards Theo, my hand squeezing his with anticipation. This is happening. Every nerve felt raw and alive as his hungry gaze swept down my body.

Theo pulled me in close, his hands skimming down my back.

“I need you,” he whispered, lips caressing my ear.

I shivered at the sensation, and a flood of slick drenched my underwear. Theo groaned, pressing his face into my neck, taking deep drags of my scent as his body shook with want.

My breath stuttered, and I struggled to find air as a wave of desire crashed over me.

“Need you,” I gasped, feeling brave.

“You’re so fucking perfect for me. I can’t wait to touch you and taste you,” he said, voice shaking.

My arms twined around his neck, pulling him in as close as I could. I needed to feel him against me—his heat, his hardness, his love. Theo’s hands wandered down my back until they caressed my ass. He gripped me tightly and I whimpered.

The sound seemed to break his restraint, and he suddenly picked me up. I squealed at the sudden movement, wrapping myself around him with a giggle. He kissed me with a growl rolling through his chest. We barely came up for air as Theo carried me towards my room. I threaded one of my hands through his hair, loving the soft feel of his messy strands as I nipped his lower lip. I was lost in our kiss, lost in the feel of him, until we lurched.

“Fuck. No kissing and walking,” Theo said, huffing a laugh as he tightened his grip on my thighs.

I giggled and moved my kisses to his face and neck before licking the long column of his throat. He swore and stopped, pressing me against the wall in the stairwell.

“Are you trying to get me to fall down the stairs, little omega?” he growled, pressing his cock against me, sending little lightning bolts of pleasure through my stomach.

“Seems like you’re easily distracted,” I said, boldly sucking on his neck.

“Fuck,” he cursed, picking up his pace.

We tumbled into my room, my feet hitting the ground as he released my legs. His hands were on me, fisting my hair, caressing my breast, and cupping my ass.

“You want this, angel?” he asked, tilting my head back so he could see my face.

“Yes,” I gasped.

“Fuck yes,” he growled.

He pulled off my sweatshirt and started tugging off my shirt when I froze. The heated arousal coursing through me seconds earlier transformed into icy fear. I curled away from him, tugging my shirt back down so it covered my soft stomach. My friends’ voices chorused in my head, telling me that Theo already knew what I looked like and I didn’t need to be self-conscious, but an image of him seeing my body and turning away in disgust flashed through my mind. I tried but couldn’t hold on to the confidence I had felt earlier in the night. It was as if every one of my fat rolls was shouting not good enough. He would see them and find me disgusting.

“Josie?” Theo’s voice was tender as he ran a gentle hand down my arm.

“I just… I…” I blinked furiously, trying to stave off the tears threatening to fall. I was messing everything up, ruining this.

“Oh, my love, what’s wrong?”

He hesitantly wrapped me up in his arms as if he was scared of hurting me. I leaned into him without hesitation, the heat of his body melting some of my paralyzing anxiety. He was still here. He hadn’t run out of the room at my freak out. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with his comforting scent.

Okay, Josie, get yourself together. You just have to fucking do it.

“Do you want a massage?” I almost shouted, my voice sounding borderline hysterical.

Theo’s body stiffened and he tried to catch my eye, but I kept my face pressed to his chest.

“Umm, you want to give me a massage?”

“Yes,” I squeaked.

“Will you tell me what I did wrong? What upset you?” he asked, pressing his face into my neck.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just want to give you a massage.”

I was acting nonsensical, but all I could do was cling to Poppy’s suggestion. Giving him a massage didn’t require me to get undressed.

“We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for,” he said, stroking my hair.

“I want to,” I said, squeezing my arms around him. He was so solid, so warm. Safe. “I’m just nervous.”

“I’m nervous, too, angel.”

“Really?” I asked, his confession making me brave enough to peek at him. There was no anger or impatience on his face.

“Yes, love. But it’s just you and me here. There’s no pressure. I want to do whatever you want, whatever feels good for you.”

I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. The tiniest spark of confidence fluttered through me.

“Okay,” I said, pulling away from him. “Then I want to give you a massage.”

A slow, sexy smile spread across Theo’s face. “Alright. Tell me what to do.”

Unbidden tears sprang to my eyes as it sunk in: an alpha was giving me control. Theo was giving me control because he loved me, trusted me, and wanted me to feel comfortable.

Alarm flashed across his face at my tears.

“Everything is fine,” I said, furiously wiping the tears away. “I’m just emotional! It’s all okay!”

My voice was coming out too loud, my movements frantic, and I’m sure my eyes were wild. Theo raised his eyebrows as if trying to make sense of my behavior. We looked at each other for a few silent moments before simultaneously bursting out in laughter. He pulled me into a hug, his chest shaking as he squeezed me tight. Nothing about this had been normal so far. I was an emotional wreck, my desire for Theo warring with my insecurities and trauma. And yet, he’s still looking at you like he wants you. Just keep going.

“Will you lie down on the bed?” I asked, finally pulling away from his embrace.

“Of course.” He kissed me on the nose before lying down on his stomach.

Shoot. I should probably tell him to take off his clothes. Or take off his clothes for him. Seduction, Josie!

“Oh, umm, you should undress?” My voice came out as a squeaky question.

Theo sat up, facing me.

“I might need some help,” he said, his eyes twinkling.

I suppressed a smile. “Did you forget how to take your shirt off?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, eyes glued on my body as I crawled onto the bed towards him. “Must be because I’m staring at the world’s sexiest omega. She’s very distracting.”

My cheeks flushed with pleasure as I straddled Theo and tugged off his shirt.

“You’re so beautiful,” I murmured, daring to run my hands down the smooth planes of his chest.

“That’s my line,” he said, pulling me closer with one hand around my neck and the other on my hip. “So fucking gorgeous.”

I leaned in for a kiss and he immediately deepened it, his tongue dancing with mine. More of my anxiety melted away as sensation overwhelmed me: the pleasurable sting of his hand gripping my hair, the luxurious rocking of his cock against my clit, the heat of his bare skin burning through my clothes.

Theo’s groans and whispered praise bolstered my confidence.

“Those pants look so uncomfortable,” I gasped between kisses, rubbing my core against the ridge of his jeans.

“Unbearably uncomfortable,” he responded, his lips curving up in a smile against mine.

“I should help you with that,” I said, my hands fumbling with the zipper.

Good job, Josie. Excellent work. Very smooth.

And then I let out a very non-sexy shriek.

“You’re not wearing underwear!” My hands flew up to cover my eyes, and Theo burst out in laughter.

“A little omega said she wanted her alphas to go commando in a certain questionnaire.” He tugged my hands from my eyes, but I still had them squeezed shut.

“It’s not going to attack you.” His voice was amused but gentle.

I cracked my eyes open, keeping them firmly on his face. His mouth twitched.

“No laughing at me,” I said, sticking my lip out in a pout.

“Sorry, angel,” he said with a smile. “Fucking cute.” He cupped my cheek, the warmth of his hand sinking into my skin.

I rolled my eyes and pursed my lips, trying to stop myself from smiling. “I’m just going to, umm, sit over here and you lie down on your stomach for your massage.”

I fixed my eyes on the ceiling as he pulled off his pants and rolled over. When I finally allowed myself to look at him, to really see him, heat suffused me.

He looked like a Greek god.

I took in his smooth, pale skin, the muscular expanse of his back, and then finally down to his butt. His sexy, cute butt with a bond mark in the center of the right cheek. My mouth watered. I wanted to lick it, bite it, and place my bond mark on him so he would know he belonged to me.

“You have a nice butt,” I blurted out.

“Thank you, angel,” Theo said. There was no mocking in his tone.

My body was hot, and I didn’t know if it was because of my arousal or embarrassment. I eyed Theo, realizing the best way for me to massage him would be to straddle him. My pussy tingled at the thought of being pressed against his bare skin.

“Is this okay? Am I too heavy?” I asked as I settled myself on the backs of his thighs.

“Never. Feels good.”

I ran my hands up and down his back, slowly increasing the pressure. Theo groaned in pleasure, emboldening my movements. I got lost in the feel of him, the softness of his skin, his deepening scent. I noticed after a while that I was having fun exploring his body. The DA had always presented sex as something serious, warning us that we needed to ensure we satisfied our alphas at any cost to ourselves. But as I moved my hands over his back, squeezing, kneading, and admiring, I understood this kind of intimacy was supposed to be enjoyable.

Theo shifted his hips, moving me off him. “Fuck, your hands are magic. You can massage me anytime you want. But now it’s my turn.” His voice was a quiet rasp, laced with want, as he turned over and sat next to me.

I wanted him to touch me.

I was terrified for him to see me.

“You have absolutely nothing to worry about, love,” he murmured, nuzzling my cheek. I tried not to but couldn’t help sneaking looks at his cock. It bobbed up and down as he shifted on the bed. Theo caught the direction of my gaze, and I quickly looked away, feeling like I had been caught doing something naughty.

“Look all you want,” he said with a smile.

I felt like I was in a trance as he pulled off my top and sports bra. His gaze didn’t stray from my face as he ran his hands up and down my side, skimming across my ribs and breasts. I fought the urge to hide under the blanket, turn off the lamps, anything to stop him from seeing me.

Our breaths synced as we gazed into each other’s eyes. My heart rate slowed, and I allowed myself to sink into the moment. Finally, his gaze trailed down to take in my body. I tensed. This was the least flattering position he could see me in.

“I wish you could see yourself like I do right now. You are an angel.” His voice was a reverent whisper.

Theo continued his exploration, caressing my nipples and placing hot kisses down my neck. I relaxed into the sensation, closing my eyes. He wasn’t insulting me. He was here, touching me because he wanted to. Because he wanted me.

Even still, I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Are you sure you’re not disappointed?”

His touch paused. “Josie, love, look at me.”

My cheeks flamed, and I slowly met his gaze.

“There is no world, realm, or universe in which you or your body could disappoint me. I love every part of you. I’ve never felt this kind of attraction—”

He paused, then gently guided my hand to his cock. I felt the soft skin covering his rigid member. A bead of moisture got on my hand, and his scent thickened so much I was almost dizzy with it. I could hear the playfulness in his voice as he added, “—and I’ve never, in my entire life, been this hard.”

I bit my lip as I finally looked down to where my hand circled his penis. Even though I had nothing to compare it to, I thought his was particularly nice.

A+ dick.

10/10.

Fuck, I’m such a nerd.

I gave it a small pump with my hand, biting my lip in concern at how much longer and thicker he was than the dildo. My fingers were unable to close around him. And then I noticed something else.

“Umm… is that a piercing?” I asked, my eye catching on two silver metal balls.

“Yeah,” Theo responded, looking sheepish, running his hand through his hair.

My Theo, reserved, serious, wears-a-tie Theo, had a penis piercing.

“I lost a bet with Ben. It fucking hurt, but once it was in, I decided to keep it. I heard it can feel really good for a partner during sex.” He mumbled that last part.

If I hadn’t already been in love with him, hearing that he had been walking around with a piercing in his dick because one day it might feel good for his partner would have sealed the deal.

Theo’s cock stood straight up, leaving a trail of pre-cum on his abs. My omega was mesmerized by it. He cleared his throat and I realized I had been sitting in silence, staring at his cock with laser focus, my hand wrapped around him. His grip on my thigh was tight as if he was trying to hold himself back.

“I’m nervous I won’t be any good at sex,” I blurted out, removing my hand from him.

“Not possible,” he murmured, leaning in to kiss my nipples. The sensation almost distracted me enough to lose my train of thought.

I pushed him away so I could look him in the eyes, sighing with frustration. “You have to say that, but you don’t know.” I wasn’t sure why I was arguing with him, but it felt important that he go into this with low expectations.

“Angel, I… haven’t done this either.”

I blinked. “Wait, what? Had sex?”

“Yeah.” Theo ran his hand through his hair, making it stick up wildly.

The gesture was so endearing, so Theo. I blinked at his revelation. A smile tugged at my lips and warmth filled my chest as I thought about being each other’s firsts, when I noticed an anxious edge to his usually warm coffee scent.

“Are you disappointed?” he asked, his hands shaking.

“What?” I grabbed his hands in mine and squeezed tight. “Why would I be?”

“I might not make it as good for you as Ben or Cam would for your first time,” he responded, his face a fiery red.

I put my hand on his cheek. “I’m really happy to share this experience with you. It feels special. Even though I don’t know how you haven’t had sex before since you look like that,” I said, gesturing at his magazine-worthy body.

“And you look like that,” he said, gesturing at me.

I wrinkled my nose. “Exactly, which is why I don’t know why you’re attracted…”

Theo let out a fierce growl before tackling me. He pinned me down, still careful to ensure his weight wasn’t crushing me. I arched automatically at the feel of his cock against my core.

Theo growled again, the vibration rocking through my body. “I never want to hear you say you’re not attractive again. No one insults my girl, not even you. Understand?”

My eyes widened and I nodded. He kissed me before moving down my body, kissing and licking a line down my stomach. I sucked in involuntarily, needing to do something to hide my fat rolls from him.

“One day, you’ll see yourself like I do,” he murmured, grasping my hip to stop me from shifting away.

“Sorry,” I whispered to the ceiling. “I can’t get it out of my head that you’ll be disgusted. My body’s not good enough for you.”

“Just means I’ll need to get you naked as often as possible so I can convince you of how enraptured I am by you.” He tugged the waistband of my leggings. “May I, love?”

I nodded, forcing my body to relax into the bed as he carefully stripped my leggings and underwear off. Theo didn’t say anything. Anxiety whirled through me as I propped myself up on my elbows to gauge his reaction.

He was staring at my pussy with something that looked like awe.

“Your pussy is so cute,” he said, his pupils wide as he met my eyes. “No more underwear for you. It’s a crime to cover this up.”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” I said with a pout.

“Mmm, that’s where you’re wrong,” he said, squeezing my ass tightly. His heated gaze burned a trail down my skin.

“I need to taste you,” he said.

Before I could panic, he had already shifted down my body, planting more kisses on my stomach until he reached my mound. I tried to close my legs, but his hands kept my thighs in place as he slowly licked his tongue from my opening to my clit.

Holy.

Shit.

The warm drag of his tongue felt incredible. It was more pleasure than I ever could have imagined.

“You taste like heaven,” he murmured, his breath hot against me. “Want to spend all my days between your thighs with the taste of your sweet pussy on my lips.”

His filthy words rendered me speechless, reducing me to little whimpers and moans. I shifted my hips, chasing more sensation, more of him, but he pinned me down with one arm, keeping his other firmly planted on my thigh. His tongue moved steadily, firmly across my sex, circling my clit.

“Just relax, love. I’m going to make you feel so good.”

I released the breath I’d been holding with a whoosh. He looped his arm around my leg, bringing his hand around to rest on the top of my mound. I whimpered as he circled my clit with one hand and lapped up my slick with his tongue.

“You want my fingers, angel?”

My vagina clenched in anxious anticipation, but I forced myself to breathe through the anxiety. There was no one else here besides Theo, and I ached to have him inside me, filling me up.

“Yes,” I gasped as Theo’s rhythmic fingers continued circling my clit.

“My brave omega.”

He kissed my inner thighs, scraping his teeth along my sensitive skin. I held myself back from begging for his bite. I wasn’t ready to be bonded with him yet, but as he gently slipped his finger inside me, I realized I already thought of myself as his.

“Look how wet you are for me. I want to be drenched in your scent so everyone knows you’re mine,” he growled, pumping his finger in and out as he lowered his mouth to my clit.

My body shook as he drove my arousal higher. My vagina clenched on his fingers, but this time in pure pleasure.

“That’s it, angel. Fuck yourself on my fingers.”

I moaned at his dirty words as my orgasm drew closer. He slipped another finger inside me. There was a slight sting with the stretch.

“You’re okay, love, just relax. You’re doing so well. Can’t believe how fucking lucky I am.”

I breathed deeply, the mix of our scents calming me. I reached down and ran my fingers through his soft hair.

“Love your hands on me,” Theo groaned, thrusting his fingers again. He sucked on my clit and curled his fingers inside me, hitting all my omega pleasure spots. I whined and gasped his name as I came, my orgasm moving through me in waves. He kept licking me, his tongue rocking against my extra sensitive clit.

“Too much,” I said, trying to close my legs.

“Want you to come again,” he said, his hands digging into my thighs. “If you want to,” he added, looking up at me.

I giggled, letting my legs relax and fall open in silent permission. His tongue and fingers were gentle as they eased me through a second orgasm. A heavy, pleasurable feeling settled on my limbs. Theo took one final, long lick before working his way up my body with kisses. His lips were glossy with my slick, a self-satisfied smile on his face.

“You look well-pleasured, my love.” He moved so he was under me, firmly placing my head on his shoulder and wrapping me up in his arms.

“Oh my god,” I mumbled, nuzzling my face into his bare chest. “You’ve killed me with orgasms.”

“I hope not because I have more plans for you.” He palmed my butt, squeezing hard. My hips shifted against him, seeking friction. How could I already want more? I was addicted to Theo, floating in a sea of pheromones.

Theo kissed my temple, wrapping my messy hair around his hand.

“Was that okay?” he asked in a vulnerable voice.

I lifted my head, running my hand down the side of his face.

“That was amazing. I’ve never felt anything like that.”

“It wasn’t triggering?”

I shook my head, my heart warming at his concern for me. “No, it was perfect. Thanks for being patient with me,” I whispered.

“Anything for you. Anything.” His hand tightened in my hair and we locked eyes. My emotions swirled within me, and I knew this moment would be imprinted on me forever.

“I love you,” I said, barely able to speak with the emotion between us.

“I love you so much.”

I wanted to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel. I shifted so I was straddling him, my core pressing against his hard cock. I felt the urge to suck in my stomach, to cover myself, but I forced myself to sit bare before him. The heat in his eyes spoke only of pleasure, his hands coming up to cup my breasts.

“My turn,” I said.

“Are you going to have your way with me, omega?” he asked, breathless.

“Yes, alpha,” I said, licking my lips slowly.

I moved down his body, teasing him the best I could with my mouth—nipping, licking, and kissing down his beautiful chest until I was between his muscular thighs.

“You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to, angel,” Theo said, his cheeks blushing bright red.

His shyness fueled me, giving me the confidence to be bold. “Don’t you want me to?” I pouted. “Maybe you don’t think I’ll be any good.” I made sure to widen my eyes as I crawled closer. My breasts gently swayed side to side, almost touching his erect cock.

Theo groaned, his eyes fixated on my breasts. “Believe me, I want you to,” he said, sounding pained.

I smiled and leaned down to lick the pre-cum that had beaded on the head of his cock. Oh, Poppy was right. It did taste good. I gripped the base of his cock where his knot had already started to inflate and moved my other hand up and down. Theo groaned, his hips jerking up involuntarily. I lowered my face and licked a long, hot stripe, starting at his knot all the way to the tip, before taking him into my mouth and swirling my tongue around the head.

“Fuck, how are you so good at this?”

I moved my mouth off with a pop, unable to stop a wide smile from spreading across my face.

“Am I doing good?” I asked, desperately wanting approval.

“So. Fucking. Good. You look so sexy on your knees for me,” he groaned, his hand squeezing the back of my neck, adding a comforting pressure without forcing my movements.

The heady feeling of being in control washed over me. I was choosing this, giving my alpha pleasure. I took his cock back in my mouth with renewed enthusiasm and sucked hard, keeping pressure on his knot with one hand. I used my tongue to play with his piercing until he was shouting a continuous stream of curses.

He tugged me off of him and I whined.

“You’re way too good at that, angel, and I want to come in that cute little pussy of yours.”

Yes, please.

“Okay,” I said with a smile. “You can come in my mouth next time.”

I let out a squeal as Theo grabbed me and flipped me onto my back, laying his body on top of mine. My slick dripped down onto the sheets and I moaned as he ground his cock against me, drenching it.

“I want you inside me,” I said, rocking my hips to match his movements.

He gently gripped my chin so I was looking into his eyes.

“Tell me if you want to stop at any time,” he said. He waited for my nod before fitting himself at my entrance and pressing in slowly.

There was a slight sting, the stretch taking my breath away, but mostly what I felt was love. To have my first time with someone as gentle and kind as Theo was an immeasurable gift. My eyes fluttered closed and I whimpered as he pressed in another inch.

“Angel?” His voice sounded distant, as if it was making its way through the fog of arousal surrounding me. The pressure had transformed into pleasure. I wanted more, wanted him to move.

“Josie, I need you to talk to me.” There was an urgency in his tone, and my eyes flew open. He shifted away as if to pull out, and I growled, gripping his hips tightly with my legs.

“Need more,” I whined.

Theo released a breath and his head fell down on my chest. He sucked one of my nipples into his mouth, nipping gently with his teeth.

“You have to use your words, love. Almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Not my fault your dick rendered me speechless.”

Theo choked out a laugh, biting my other nipple in gentle punishment.

“Naughty girl,” he said.

And then he eased into me completely, filling me, stretching me, until his knot bumped against my clit. I was beyond words, unable to do anything except whimper as I pulled Theo into a kiss, licking into his mouth.

He thrust into me again.

“Ohmygod your piercing,” I cried in pleasure.

“Too much?” he asked, caressing my face.

“No, it’s perfect.”

He gave me a heartbreaking smile and kiss before he continued moving in and out.

For so long, I hadn’t allowed myself to imagine that I could have this. When I had been trapped in the darkest parts of my abuse, all I wanted was to survive. And once I got away from them, I hadn’t allowed myself to hope for the future. Feeling Theo inside me, the gentle pressure of his weight against my body, his heady scent… it was so much more than physical pleasure. It felt like coming home to a part of myself I thought I’d lost forever—the part of myself who dreamed, who thrived, who lived.

My eyes pricked with emotion and a single tear escaped, trailing down my cheek.

I didn’t want to close my eyes, didn’t want to forget that I was here, with Theo, choosing this. I breathed through the anxiety scraping at my chest. Theo Theo Theo.

“Is this real?” I asked, my eyes wide as he thrust in and out.

Theo furrowed his brow, running his thumb tenderly down my cheek.

“It’s real. You’re here with me.”

He ran his lips down my jaw, his breath hot on my skin. “Can you feel me, love?”

“Yes.” I gasped as his hips shifted angles and he hit a new spot inside me. “Fuck,” I cried out.

“Love hearing you swear,” he said with a smile. “I never expect it.”

I couldn’t respond, my orgasm stealing away any train of thought I’d had.

“I love you,” I whispered, meeting Theo’s concerned gaze. “This is everything.”

Warmth and understanding filled his face, and he tenderly kissed away my tears, pressing gentle kisses on my eyelids.

“You are my wildest dream made flesh,” he said. “I would wait an eternity for you, for this.”

Emotion ballooned in my chest and made its way out to my arms and the tips of my toes. It was as if there was too much feeling for my body to hold. The only place I could channel it was into his body, to share myself with him.

I gripped his hips more tightly with my legs and matched his thrusts with my movements. Theo cupped my ass with his hands, lifting me slightly. The change in position meant his knot was grinding against my clit with every thrust, his cock dragging against my pleasure spot. I dug my fingers into his back, running my nails down his skin.

He snarled, his thrusts growing wilder and deeper, his knot teasing my entrance. The pressure was enough to cause an orgasm to break over me. The strength of it stunned me. It was all warm electricity holding my body.

“Fuck, you’re perfect. So beautiful when you come,” Theo growled, thrusting harder until he came with a roar, my name a chant on his lips.

He slipped out of me and rolled us so I was on top of him. We were both breathing heavily, and I clung to him, reveling in the perfection of this moment.

“That was…” Theo trailed off, sounding awed.

“I know,” I said, grinning widely, pressing a kiss to his chest before snuggling in against his body.