Forbidden: Part One – Chapter 38

Holding my beautiful mate in my arms after making love was something I had dreamed of for years. We lay in a dreamy post-sex haze until I realized I needed to tend to her. I reluctantly untangled my limbs from hers. Josie whined, trying to hold on to me.

“I’ll be right back, love,” I said with a kiss.

I returned from the bathroom with a warm cloth. Josie tried to take it from me, but I insisted on cleaning her up. She blushed so beautifully when she parted her legs, and I grew hard again, both at the sight of her and at the gift of her trust.

“You sore, angel?” I asked, throwing the towel in the hamper in the corner.

“Just a little,” she said with a stretch.

She was curled up under the blanket but hadn’t said anything about putting her clothes back on. I took that as a victory. It killed me how worried she had been about me seeing her naked. Josie was so gorgeous and soft, determined and strong, and I would make it my mission to show her how much I loved every part of her until she believed it herself.

I slipped back under the blankets, pulling her body flush against mine. I’d thought nothing could compare to the feeling of her wet mouth surrounding me, sucking me off, but I had been wrong. Being inside her, feeling her come on my cock, had been the best experience of my life.

She was pliant against my body, every muscle soft and relaxed, her scent a happy, sugary cupcake vanilla. Flashes of memory flitted through my mind—the feel of her legs gripping me, the softness of her skin, the grip of her tight heat, the sensation of coming inside her, marking her as mine. A primal satisfaction rose in me and my cock twitched, urging me to take her again. I stopped myself from sliding home between her legs, not wanting to add to her soreness.

Josie stroked my chest, the light touch of her fingers a perfect agony, as we lay in comfortable silence.

I was drifting to sleep when Josie asked in a quiet, vulnerable voice, “Did you not want to knot me?”

Fuck. We hadn’t talked about knotting ahead of time and I hadn’t wanted to bring it up when I was balls-deep inside her.

I shifted us so we were lying side by side.

“I thought it might be too much for the first time,” I said. “But I definitely want to,” I added hurriedly, remembering from my research that denying an omega a knot could make them feel rejected.

Josie just gave me a soft smile and snuggled closer to me.

“Thanks for not pressuring me. I want to, just so you know.”

“Next time,” I said, kissing her forehead. I hoped the next time would be soon.

We lay in a sleepy, comfortable silence. One of my hands drifted until it cupped Josie’s ass. I couldn’t believe what a lucky bastard I was.

“Theo?”

“Yes, love?”

“Why haven’t you had sex before?”

I stilled, residual insecurity from my upbringing coming to the fore.

“You don’t have to tell me,” she said quickly.

“No, I want to tell you. Just trying to figure out where to start.”

I pulled her in close as I gathered my thoughts. My hand brushed against the jagged scar on her upper arm, wondering again where she’d gotten it.

“Does this hurt, love?” I asked.

“No, it doesn’t hurt,” she whispered.

I knew there was more to the story, but I could be patient if she wasn’t ready to tell me. She flinched as I ran my fingers down the scar, but her body softened as I continued my movements, steadily caressing my hands down her body.

“My pack fathers had rigid expectations of what it meant to be an alpha, and those beliefs only got more extreme once they moved us to North Woods from London,” I said, ripping off the band-aid.

“Why did you move?” she asked.

“We lived in a progressive community in London. My sisters are both omegas and had the freedom to go to school and make friends and all that normal shit. But as we got older, and they had my two younger brothers, my parents got more obsessed with what they called traditional designation roles. Things changed quickly at home. They wanted me in the gym all the time and started homeschooling my sisters. Eventually, they fell even deeper into the ideology and moved us so they could be with like-minded families, and we would be forced to fall in line.”

“That’s terrible.” She grabbed my hand, intertwining my fingers and giving mine a squeeze.

“Thanks, angel.” I had wanted an omega for our pack for years. My alpha needed someone to dote on, protect, and care for. But I hadn’t anticipated what it would be like to receive that care. It was more than I could have imagined. I pressed my face into her hair, breathing in her scent, before continuing.

“My fathers sent me to a sex worker on my sixteenth birthday so I could finally become a true alpha, whatever the fuck that means. Most alphas had already had sex by sixteen and my parents felt I was falling behind, not meeting the standards. But I struggled with feeling attracted to anyone. When faced with the beta woman they hired for me, my body felt cold. She was beautiful, and her scent was nice enough, but I didn’t feel anything towards her. I… um… couldn’t get hard. I didn’t want my first time to be with a stranger.

“We ended up just talking for a couple of hours. She told me it was okay to wait until I was ready to have sex and gave me pointers on how to please a partner when I had one. I took notes so I would remember everything she told me.”

“They wanted to force you to have sex at sixteen?” Josie exclaimed angrily. She tried to push herself up from my chest, but I wrapped my arms around her more tightly, keeping her body flush against mine.

“I know, love. It’s all messed up. When I came home, I pretended that I’d done it. My father slapped me on the back in congratulations. It was one of the rare times he was proud of me, and it was all a lie. I spent the rest of my time in North Woods, pretending to have a slew of partners. It felt like something was broken inside me. I didn’t feel sexual attraction like other alphas.

“I went back and saw the same beta woman a few times. She was only a couple years older than me, and I thought she seemed lonely. She liked having someone to talk to, and I took down notes each visit. Even back then, I knew that one day I wanted to find my partner… my mate. And when I did, I wanted to please her.

“I realized I need a strong emotional connection with someone before I feel attraction. I’ve wanted to have sex, just haven’t had someone I wanted to do it with. But, love, I need you to know—I was so attracted to you in that Trader Joe’s. I was following you around like a fucking stalker because you’re irresistible. I get hard when you walk into the room. I have never wanted someone like I want you, and I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you, my mate, my omega.”

Josie pulled me in for a fierce kiss, washing away any lingering fears of her judging me. After a few moments, we were both gasping. She pulled away and ran her hands through my hair.

“I’m angry at your parents for putting that on you, for making you feel like your sexuality had to look a certain way. And I’m jealous that you spent time with another woman, even if nothing happened.” Her lip jutted out in an adorable pout.

“I love you being possessive of me,” I said. “But I’ve only ever had eyes for you.”

Josie smiled and wiggled happily into my embrace. “Have to say, though, the note-taking paid off,” she said cheekily.

I barked out a laugh and pulled her close. Fuck, I’m so gone for her.